Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Ladies:

Yes, Roxy, that is the power of community. Actually, I think of this - I would/could lie to myself, but I can't lie to you all - my friends. I could be in denial with myself, but since you all know the truth, you wouldn't accept the denial. Keeps me honest for sure.

I had a lovely day - started off on a short hike up the hill behind my house and decided to keep going and going. Ended up taking a 6 mile trek and had my DH pick me up at the end. It was beautiful weather, and I listened to 1.5 episodes of the Bubble Hour - I recommend the one on shame.

When I was listening I kept thinking of things I wanted to share with you all. One thing is they distinguish between guilt - what I did was a bad thing - and shame - I am a bad person. They talk about getting over the guilt but having a harder time getting rid of the shame because that is the way we operated even before alcohol was a problem - negative self talk, etc. They mentioned Brene Brown a couple of times - her talk on shame was pretty powerful. Anyway - I recommend a listen.

Tonight we had family over for dinner - one person other than me not drinking (rare for my family - he's an in law), and all was good.

Ava - Could you imagine if NS posted she drank? That would get me to my core. Byrdie talks about her quit buddy who fell off the wagon and disappeared at 6 months - if you did that I might have to actually come fly to Australia and try to find you. Actually - if any of you did that. Your drinking or not is not all about me, but I have a healthy fear of relapse that I think I can avoid and if someone I thought would never relapse did, it would confuse me to no end.

I agree, SL. Go team Loam !!!!!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Yay, Nar. x Post. Night lovely.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

And yes, I did have some bacon.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow, and double, triple Wow...What a great conversation started Rox. And I love all of the responses you got. When I came back here in October, I was reluctant at first. I thought to myself, I never really connected here with anyone. This is a forum where people invest time into you, you build relationships, albeit anonymously, and help one another reach your goal of being AF. So, in the past, either I was on the wrong thread or reaching for the wrong goal and I didn't succeed.

Right before Acadia started this thread, I had asked a few MWO members which thread they recommended as a "home" for me. Then out of nowhere, Ladies on a Mission appeared! I believe the guy upstairs was looking out for me. I thought, wow, this is too good to be true, as I saw women like me posting. HURRY! JOIN! And I've never looked back, as this thread has been the biggest blessing in my life because you all saved my life, helped me to create a new one, encouraged me, been there for me, picked me up when I was down, and so, so much more. Yes, when I had slips (sorry again, NS for that word) I was nervous about telling you all. It was letting you all down. We're in this together. That means something to me. But I knew, at the same time, you wouldn't just dismiss me as a failure and say I wasn't welcome back. That's why I came back, because I knew I needed to, as I'm an alcoholic, and we need each other. Where's this going? I lost my train of thought! All I want to say is that a united group is stronger than an individual. We are in this together and we will hold each other up. NS, liked the ant metaphor.

On a lighter note, I had a great time at the game. I had lots to eat, the luxury suite (yea baby!) was very cool, and the night was beautiful. The only thing wrong was there was no dessert!!! Not one cookie! I had to go out and buy an ice cream cone! Imagine that...it was really fun and we won. Good, close game.

Have a great day ladies!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

It is much easier not to drink than to imagine telling you guys that I did. Simple but very powerful tool .

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav - so true! I have thought about "cheating" and know I could lie to myself, but not here! That certainly helps!
J-vo - your message is amazing! Acadia, Starfish and I had a few pm's about some threads we were visiting and what we actually needed. We thought we had an idea but weren't sure if it would take off - Acadia was the one willing to give it a go - and look what happened!!! Acadia - need to see more of you, Star too!

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning, ladies. I keep waking up ridiculously happy. I'm sure it will wear off at some point when not drinking is normal, but for now I'm so excited to be on track that it just spills into every area of my life. The first week I did have to fight a lot of cravings, but they seem to be lessening as I'm getting more and more invested in making this quit stick!

I've been thinking about a Memorial Day party I went to about 15 years ago. It was with people from work, and as usual I drank much more than anyone else. I remember not noticing that a screen door was closed, and bumping right into it on my way to the patio...sloshing my drink and taking the door off its tracks. I remember people laughing. Certainly not even close to the most embarrassing thing I ever did drunk, but still cringeworthy whenever the thought surfaces. Sad that it took another 15 years to break the habit.

Off to do a thousand errands. No chance of alcohol screwing up this day!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kailey being happy is great, keep that thought daily. It will only go away if you let it.

god i think we could write a book on drunk stories, i have to many to remember, well half of them i dont remember, that was the problem.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'm sorry I haven't been posting the past couple of days. Just didn't want to bring a lot of negativity here, especially on a holiday weekend. But I am doing alright. I will catch up more tomorrow. Love you ladies.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lil B, its always nice to hear from you. I am glad you are doing alright. Love you too

Ava, oh boy the drunk stories we ALL could tell...like how I chased my boss around the bar and said "buy me another drink you asshole"...Not good. hmmm maybe that's why I never got a promotion at that job!

Hey J-Vo! That was an awesome post, I feel the same way. I came here back in 2006 and than off and on during the years but never really found a 'home'. This time it is definitely different. Maybe I was just ready to quit, I don't know but I DO know that you ladies have been my life line over the past 6 months and have been a huge source of inspiration for me. I really feel connected to you and that makes a big difference.
Thank you for all your help.

Lol, Jane, I tell my hubby little things about you gals too. Like Farquad (he doesn't know that I call him that sometimes) and the whole mini pad thing. Oh and that I am known to be a porn star! He cracked up at that one!

Well, It was another sober weekend for me. 42 days going on 43 pretty soon this 50 year old will be at 50 days, yahoo! No thoughts at all of drinking here, none, nada, zilch, zero. (ok, maybe a teeny eenie bit but not much)
And THAT is pretty cool.

I will post tomorrow. Love you gals.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav, I am glad you had some bacon
So funny how we cross post almost every night. We must be in sync.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

little beagle;1664693 wrote: I'm sorry I haven't been posting the past couple of days. Just didn't want to bring a lot of negativity here, especially on a holiday weekend. But I am doing alright. I will catch up more tomorrow. Love you ladies.

Hi, LB. I'm glad you're ok :l. I don't think any of us should not post for fear of bringing others down. This isn't Facebook. We're here to support one another whenever needed and that means there might be some upsetting posts. Only showing up when I was fine, or hiding any negative feelings contributed to this whole problem in my offline life. I actually am feeling good right now but I hope I have the courage to come here when I'm not. I hope we all do.

xx, NS

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB - ditto what NS says, I have come here in a blue mood many times, it will make me feel uncomfortable if others don't do the same - and you don't want to do that Really, we do need to be able to come here whatever we are feeling - we are all human, and there will be ups and downs, goods and bads.....hope you are ok:l

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Night, all:

Lil B - Yes, feel free to vent away here - that's why we're here. Goodness knows I do a ton.

Jane - Your DH has patience that mine doesn't have if he knows about all of us. My DH can't keep my in the flesh friendships straight... I'll bring you all to him slowly.

I had a slight struggle tonight that sort of hit me out of nowhere - first an MLB game in lovely weather with beer ALL around me, and then a small (6 people) dinner party, but there was a lot of "Oooh, taste this champagne, Here's a delicious summer cider," etc. I could smell it all going around and I was tempted to just taste it. What would one taste do? Well, as Ava says, of course we know the answer to that. I kept having to smell it and say no. I wasn't really ever going to drink, but it did get exhausting to have alcohol in the center of everything ALL DAY LONG.

Anyway - to bed now, and probably more alcohol-infused BBQ tomorrow. Will walk in the morning with my Bubble Hour meditations.

Hope you are all having a great weekend (or, LB, keeping your sanity at least).

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Night, all:

Lil B - Yes, feel free to vent away here - that's why we're here. Goodness knows I do a ton.

Jane - Your DH has patience that mine doesn't have if he knows about all of us. My DH can't keep my in the flesh friendships straight... I'll bring you all to him slowly.

I had a slight struggle tonight that sort of hit me out of nowhere - first an MLB game in lovely weather with beer ALL around me, and then a small (6 people) dinner party, but there was a lot of "Oooh, taste this champagne, Here's a delicious summer cider," etc. I could smell it all going around and I was tempted to just taste it. What would one taste do? Well, as Ava says, of course we know the answer to that. I kept having to smell it and say no. I wasn't really ever going to drink, but it did get exhausting to have alcohol in the center of everything ALL DAY LONG.

Anyway - to bed now, and probably more alcohol-infused BBQ tomorrow. Will walk in the morning with my Bubble Hour meditations.

Hope you are all having a great weekend (or, LB, keeping your sanity at least).

xo
Pav