Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh Pav we are so on the same wavelength with this drinking crap. The good aspect is that we are strong enough to say no, even if we have to suffer in silence. Oh that taste, now wouldnt that achieve absolutely nothing, so on we go and not long till 6 months for us and fark this has been a long long long wait but getting closer by the day now.

I just wanted to say very quietly that Rox has made 30 days today, now i know i will be in trouble for saying this but i am very very very proud of her achievement. Day by day she has trudged along in her own Roxy way and i know it has not been easy but she has FUCKING done it! woo hoo Roxy girl, be proud of yourself today as i feel like a mother hen who's chicken has done its first poop or something like that!.

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

i laid an egg ava. a small one, but its an egg all the same.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh thats so much better than a poop, my you are growing up!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good job Roxy.
No I don't need to vent, I think I need a life change. Just muling over my options. I have come so far and I feel honestly held back. Afraid of being considered selfish?
Just tired of taking shit. And terrified. Don't really know how to say it. I am afraid to scare off those just starting this journey.
I have come tooo far to turn back now. Drinking is not an option. But what are my options?
I will get there.

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Little Beagle, to me you have only been an encouragement and you have given me fantastic support. You have really made a difference - thank you!

Pavati and Available, I am so with you regarding those situation where everybody is carrying on about the perfectly mellowed Merlot, the oh so creamy wooded Chardonnay and how well it complements the fish yada yada yada. Then they manage to finish that glass and maybe one more. And I know if I as much as inhale the smell to keenly I'm over and done with. Sometimes it's not so hard, but other times it is pure torture, even now, after 7 months (that's tomorrow - big fat smile).
Here is SA drinking and appreciating good wine is big, and I used to be especially good at it, ha ha. I agree with you Pavati, it becomes exhausting, but what would be the good of sacrificing so many months of no hang-overs and a crystal clear memory.

Roxy, well done and a big hug on 30 days. It's not just a little egg at all!

Lovely day to all of you!
xxx

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

30 eggs - one each day .
CONGRATULATIONS, Roxy!

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Haha! Nice one NS.

Think of of the things I can do with all those eggs, a community omelette comes to mind.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Roxy, Congratulations on each and every egg! We're so flippin proud of you!

So, what's funny is that this conversation has come up about being a little annoyed over the "fuss" of alcohol. And it should be a conversation as it is a three-day weekend for some of us and the alcohol is there, right there in front of our noses. So I had similar issues this weekend that I want to address. I guess I went to a pity party for a bit last night. We went to a graduation party, and alcohol everywhere. I must have been asked only about 4 times if I wanted something to drink, wine, beer...I said no of course. It's not that I didn't enjoy the company, but I guess my radar was on the flowing alcohol around me. It was a distraction I guess. A distraction that led me to thoughts of me and alcohol. I was thinking (as I was trying to focus on conversation) that these people really are normal drinkers because they are sipping, it's taking forever for them to drink that beer, I could never have just a lite beer, where's the martinis (oh, no one really drinks those excepts hard core drinkers like me), THEN, I see an alky from afar. Yep. She's has wine in that glass from the time I arrived until the time I left. And she's really never nice to me normally at the games, but all of a sudden, she likes my scarf!!!!

I must have still had the conversation from here on my mind, as i had a drinking dream (don't remember drinking, just the fact that I had to tell you girls). I was distraught and I was telling NS that I would have to start taking antabuse, as i still have it from when I ordered it months ago. I was counting them and getting ready to pop the pills so I could be safe from drinking. Needless to say, I woke up very upset from this dream.

I guess all of this "stuff" that's going on in my head is normal considering this AF life is new. As we encounter these old situations with new lives of being AF, learning is taking place, so we do feel a bit discombobulated as we try to assimilate this new info into our brains.

Kailey, glad you're waking up ridiculously happy! It only gets better from here, and from time to time we'll have those yucky dreams that I had last night.

Nar, that was a funny one - chasing your boss aka asshole around the bar for a drink!

LB, I don't believe you have a selfish bone in your body. Right now, you are the most important and protecting your quit with all you've got is what's important. Call on us and we'll help.

Giraffe, Pav, yes, sometimes it seems so hard, and others not so much. Like I said, I think it's getting used to these new situations, they're becoming a part of our new self so we feel a little off kilter. I guess that's the beauty of AF time. We can become immune to these feelings, or at least not as sensitive to them.

Ava, Jane (have fun at the beach!), SL, NS, Acadia, Daisy (hope today goes well), and all, have a great Memorial Day.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE, Loamers:

Well, I am certainly happy to be waking up hangover free, unlike one member of our party is probably feeling. She kept "topping off" her glass and must have had over a bottle to herself - would have been me a year ago. Phew. It is a struggle sometimes, but sooooo worth it.

Ava, Giraffe, J-Vo: One thing that all the "how to stay sober" lists have in common (well, they have several things in common) is to not entertain the pity party - don't allow yourself to think how "great" it would be to have a drink. It is still pretty easy for me to think through the drink and imagine where that one taste would eventually lead, but I WAS wallowing in a bit of pity yesterday. I resolve to face today with an attitude of gratitude - up and at 'em, Atom Ant (anyone remember that cartoon??).

Kailey - you should enjoy that wonderful feeling, but I think you are also right to be alert that it will come and go. I was surprised by the flat feeling that crept up on me around 4 months. Here is a good description of the blissful first-sober feeling--

The ?pink cloud? is best described as a period of time where the addict or alcoholic experiences a reprieve from the struggles associated with early recovery. These struggles are generally associated with the feelings of depression, anger, resentment, self pity and the realization of where their drug addiction or alcoholism has taken them.

Upon experiencing this phenomenon for the first time, the addict or alcoholic is understandably excited. They begin to believe they now ?hold the key? to their recovery. This is where the seed for relapse is planted. They begin to believe more in themselves than in the process they have been following. Without the pain as a daily reminder, they tend to forget about what it took for them to embrace recovery. Denial rears its ugly head and they minimize how devastating their drug addiction and alcoholism really was and that they have a disease of drug addiction and alcoholism that requires attention on a daily basis. Relapse prevention becomes an afterthought as the person becomes defiant and rebellious regarding suggestions contrary to their desires. Without resorting to drugs or alcohol, the individual in recovery is one step away from relapse. Remember, relapse is not an event, it is a process.

Just something to keep in mind. You're doing amazing - keep on keeping on!

ROXY! You did sneak in with those 30 days - glad Ava is here to keep track for us. A community scramble sounds delicious - I'll bring the bacon. So glad you're doing so well.

NS - Even though I did it once, I can't remember how to post a picture in the text. I did it without photo bucket - how do you put those pictures in?

LB - You sound strong and resolved and also in a scary place in life. I have helped my sister through a separation (two years ago she left) - it took some crying and soul searching on her part, and a lot of reading, talking and contemplation, but I was with her yesterday and she is SO GREAT. So strong and happy now that she is out from under a marriage that was keeping her down. I have NO idea what you are contemplating in terms of life change, but I believe you are strong and can get through what you put your mind to. To me, it like when I see old-sters have some ups and downs - it validates my own ups and downs and helps me understand that this is not a linear journey straight to nirvana. Life is still here, alcohol or not. It is just a lot more manageable now. Many hugs to you, dear lady.

Nar - I have to admit that I thought Calgary was further East than it is. NOW it makes sense that we cross post - I thought you were a night owl... Must study my Canadian geography...

Daisy - I read your account of your hike in the Nest - my goodness. I hope you have recovered, warmed yourself, and can now sit back and laugh at that situation. Some bear is making a phone call right now...

Jane - Hope you're enjoying the beach. I just came across an artist who collects the small bits of plastic on the beach and makes portraits out of them - they are amazing. Maybe if the shells are all gone... Here on the west coast we're still supposed to keep our eyes open for debris from the tsunami in Japan - and I guess hope it isn't radioactive... Hope you're having an amazing trip.

Happy Monday, all. We in the US are on holiday - more festivities and BBQ today - I have fun at parties, but am thinking a real day off would be nice. I guess that's for later...

xo to you all,
Pav

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

ROXY!!! Way to go girlie! I will have some scrambled eggs too. You bring the bacon Pav and I will bring some organic free range eggs from the Farm up here in Canada.
NS, love the picture!

Good thing that you are so strong Pav. J-Vo, Giraffe, all of us...really. It is tough being in situations where we have ALWAYS drank and then all of a sudden we dont! But it is all part of the journey I guess. They say its a good idea to change the things you do and make some new friends. I guess this all comes in time. Of course, as life evolves and we are changing our life will change too and new friends will be there and new experiences- NON drinking experiences. Its gonna be a great ride girls and I am glad we can ride together!

Kailey, you are kicking butt!

Anyway, back to work.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Happy Monday off for all who have it!
I made strawberry mint infused water yesterday - very refreshing esp in the heat we are having here. I bought a mason jar container with a spigot at the bottom for new waters this summer in the hopes it will give me some more options.
I am not missing the drink so much any more, but the ritual - I do miss that side of a glass or two - it's all the rest that spoils it!
Very very well done on 30 days Roxylady! Feels pretty darn good doesn't it!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Sounds like a bunch of committed Loamers around here :hug:.

I'm not sure if this is everyone's experience but at this point I buy, pour, and clean up wine feeling totally neutral about it - I have no desire for it and it doesn't disgust me. It is just something that other people drink. For quite awhile after quitting, I was uncomfortable around it so I know that if you give it time, and keep in mind your relationship with it, those feelings of desire or missing out can fade.

xx-NS

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Roxy, I am eggstatic about your Big3-0! Well done!
Juja, you are still here and that is what matters - you are bound tl feel a little lighter after saying what you needed to say......hope so.......
As far as my mountain experience........you won't believe this but I went back today to search for my bag - retracked my steps and there it was, soaking wet but I (again Roxy) was 'eggstatic'!
Very sore calves today,but on reflection I have decided I will not let this beat me and am going to get to the summit some day over the next 2 weeks. Went halfway up today and it was beautiful - a sunny day makes all the difference. Also, there was so much pressure to move faster yesterday with the crowd - next time a couple of us will do it at our own pace. P.S thought I caught a glimpse of a buck deer giving me the eye on the way back down! Lol.
So quiet here at the weekend and now I have to go back and read all your updates......catch ye laters....
Oh, and, yesterday was the nearest temptation I had to drink.....was sooooo pissed off......tired, cold and hungry.......another one I had to eat my way out of......a little porkier but sober....ah well

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning, all! I hope you all have a day off work today. It feels marvelous to just do nothing much in particular. I don't have much to add to the conversation today, just want to check in. Congratulations, Roxy!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

What are we starting to eat healthy now, bloody eggs, gees Rox we need chocolate and more chocolate. I think NS is trying to get into our head to eat healthy. I will go the bacon with mine also.

Giraffe happy 7 months, Pav and i are rocking up the rear and hanging onto your neck to get to 6 months. 4 bloody days for me and i tell you, the last 20 days have gone at a snails pace but all good things come to those who wait.

LB stay strong girl and tell us as it is, we are here for that, you know that and you have helped so many of us so maybe its time we helped you the best we can. I'm sending you a big hug.

Daisy good for you getting back on that hill, sounded like you wanted to detonate the bloody thing yesterday and even better news that you didnt drink. You had all the cudos there to grab the old bottle and didnt. You are getting stronger lovely. Glad you found your bag or else god only knows what would have happened to that hill.

well off to work, my fwad boss is off for the week sick, woo hoo, could not happen to a nicer person. mmm does that sound bitchy? yep and yep and yep. Its amazing how i look forward to going to work when he is not there.

Love to all, need to shower and get ready. wet and rainy here today, i loathe driving in peak hour when its like this.

i had a dream i visited you last night Nar and we had to sleep on lounge cushions with thermal sleeping bags and i had to share a double sleeping bag with someone, not sure who that was. it was bloody freezing.

thinking of you all, nar especially apparently. xxxx