Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well gals, I did have a great Christmas but I did drink. I want to come clean. Christmas Day I caved about 8pm and had about 3 glasses of wine. Tonight I had 1 at supper. There was no chance for more cause the bottle was empty. I would have had more for sure if I could have.
I was 55 days AF.
I am just going to keep moving on. One day at a time.

It sucks but at least I did not totally lose it. Gotta be AF because it's only a matter of time before I get drunk again.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Narilly- sorry to hear about this and thanks for posting. It is interesting to see really. I would have thought that by 55 days AF you could let your guard down, but nope.
I can totally hear the thought process in your mind.
Completely understandable. Just get back to business and move forward. No one can take those 55 days from you, and they were a true accomplishment. Now on to the next 55 days.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well Nar my immediate thought honestly was WTF did you do that for? I can totally understand why, we are alkies that is my thought on why. I reckon yesterday i would have caved if i had al in the house. God i did 40 days and had a wine or two which led to more. No point beating yourself up and so glad you were honest lovely and posted on here.

This has taken me ages to type as i dont want to add to how you are feeling. To me it means I am still so early in that I have to be vigilant always. I said in a PM to another today that i have stopped dating as i used to go out for a drink and atm i cant get my head around having a soda water instead of a drink. I associate one with the other and also a wine will relax me, it is the other 20 that dont relax me.

You know we are always here for you and let the journey begin again. The positive is you remembered xmas and did not get plastered. I know if i had a drink it would be all or nothing.

Big hugs Nar from me to you xx

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey, Narilly

It is great you didn't let it get away from you and have decided to immediately get back with your plan.

If you don't mind sharing, how did you decide to drink on Christmas? And how did you feel while you were doing it? (I have other questions but I'll try not to be too rude ).


We still have extra people here with a couple more arriving to stay tonight so I'd better get in gear. I tell you, some stuff has happened in 2013 that would have seemed like the end of the world if I'd still been drinking - thank goodness I finally listened to that voice in my head that wanted to get well. Maybe somehow it knew I had to be ready for some challenges. Listen to those voices, friends - they are telling you something you need to hear and really can outwit the addicted voice that has been calling the shots for way too long.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE, All:

Hugs to you, Narilly. Good on you for coming right back. I have a million questions like NS does - mostly about how and why so I can avoid those situations! I'm glad you didn't go overboard, too.

I have had a bad cough this whole vacation so far - I am seriously miffed as I had plans to get out of the house hiking and biking this week. I get so winded and start coughing if I try any exercise but a slow stroll. Boo hoo. I know for sure it would be worse and last longer if I was drinking (oh, and for sure I would be drinking. "A little whiskey will help my throat..."). Sorry to complain, but there it is.

Off for more basketball today and perhaps to see a movie. I really NEED to clean house - we'll see how that goes. :fingers: Hope you all have great days and I'll check in later.

xo

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,
Bkyogagirl, welcome. You'll find lots of support in this thread. As Available said, 'The struggles are less with the support of here.'

Narilly, all I can say is that could have been me so easily, and I am glad you came right back, that it didn't get out of hand. I do know how quickly one leads to several, then several more if we have our way. Think about this day 1 as your last.

I have to go to work today after a break. I'm looking forward to it since it will be quiet and I can get a lot done.

Day 55

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:l Nar, so proud of you for being honest. That was really hard, I imagine. And as someone said, you got right back in, and do not discount the 55 days you had. They didn't go away. You learned a lot in those days! Lots! And you supported and loved us through all of it, too, so here we are for you. Lean on us, and we will get another 55 done. You're a special Lady!

We are going to see "Saving Mr. Banks" today with Tom Hanks and Emma Thompson. Afterwards, just hanging out with the family, which is really nice!

Have a good day ladies!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, what you said, agree. That does mean that Al is lurking right around that corner. But let's remember what Byrdie and Lav say. Take the choice off the table. There's no, "should I or shouldn't I?" There's nothing to think about when we take it off the table. I know I wouldn't have been able to stop at three. So there's no choice in the matter. It does stop the chatter in our heads. Any and all of us are vulnerable here at MWO with 1 day or 15 years. We all have the same disease (or whatever you wanna call it) and it affects us the same way. It can bite us in the ass at any moment. That's why we need to "keep comin' back." Be here and be honest. We will get past this beast ODAT.

[K9Lover]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Ladies and Man!

Sorry I've been AWOL...so many threads to catch up on and so little time! I've been catching up on what you're all up to. Sounds like overall it was a successful sober holiday season. Nope, I'm sure it wasn't easy, but I'll bet nobody wishes they had gotten drunk, right?

Nar - Being honest is key. Thank you for sharing what happened. I made it to day 40 so MANY times and then suddenly I would cave. The last time I felt it creeping up on me, I planted myself in the Newbies Nest and Byrdie and Lav talked me through it. It's hard to kill the AL beast, but we have to starve him, which means no alcohol, ever. One sip restores his power. And if you're like me, you've never really enjoyed "a drink or two"...I was looking to get plastered, not peacefully sip a cocktail. Anyway, just hang in there, start over and don't beat yourself up. You only fail if you quit trying!

I am so happy it's Friday! I've been getting back to the gym this week and really enjoyed it, but my housework is slowly piling up. Guess I should at least make a half-hearted attempt this weekend to tidy it up.

Hope y'all have a great day and weekend. Did I mention how happy I am that it's Friday?

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you ladies. I don't really know why I drank. I think it is being around my out laws. After awhile its what I do to get through the time with them. I am not sure.
I know that I drink because I feel like I am sharing something with someone, an intimate sort of thing. I think this time is was more out of boredom. I don't know why I caved at 8pm at night. I think I just thought 'oh screw it, I'm going to drink". Stupid really but I guess I just got tired of fighting it. Really, I have to remember to be grateful and that it is not a fight. I keep thinking that I can drink normally, and I know I can't.
When I had the drinks on Christmas night I knew I would have more than one. Normal drinkers can have only one. I can't, I could see that clearly on Christmas night. I did not have the option to drink more that night otherwise I would have. (there was no more wine) The same thing happened the next night.
But I know there will be a next time where the wine does not run out and I black out.
I felt bad last night because I had a glass of wine and my daughter said "you are going to have wine mom?" She is 18. Frick!!!
I did not drink too much- only 1 and a tiny bit. So I will get back on this and hopefully won't disappoint my kids or myself.
Anyway, AF today.
Thank you so much for all your support, J-Vo, Humble, Ava, NS, Pav. I really thought about you girls when I drank. I also thought about not telling you but then to be secretive is just a waste of time. I want to be able to be 'real' with you gals and not pretend.
I think I have to post more or read more to keep it really in the front of my mind. Maybe I started to forget that I really can't drink. It is so easy to slip. I may have to spend more time reading and looking at the tool box before I go to an event or host one just to reinforce the thoughts of staying AF.
I also think I need to find a meeting or something to go to here.

Yogagirl- hello and welcome.

Have a great day gals! I did learn how to say NO in my 55 days and will continue that now

[lclem]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Narilly

Try not to be too hard on yourself. You are starting again, and it didn't get out of control, and you learned from it. I think 55 days is huge. Maybe you could call this 55+1 instead of negating all you accomplished to get to 55.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Narilly,
That's the key. Learning from our slips and revising our plans, just as you're doing. When I slipped, I made some changes. I made myself pm some people and I do that daily just to keep myself accountable. I decided to text a woman I work with daily. So adding to our program, making changes, adjustments, is moving forward...to figure out what is right for your program. We're with ya on this life-long journey.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello ladies

Well my laptop is having a dummy spit and i can only go on in safe mode. typed a long winded morning message and it froze. Blah.

Nar hope you are doing well today and thanks for your honesty. This time i am being truly honest to myself and you ladies on here also. I want to do this without the bull crap of al ruling my life. Like you 1 is not enough and when other "normal" people are around we think we can be like them and we bloody cant but we have to be grateful we are trying to stop the madness. A guy i know wanted me to go and visit today and he said "come over for a drink" and i just said I dont drink anymore. I am not going as i know at this stage I cant be around al. My al brain would say "oh just have the one".

Today is going to be a hot one, 38c but i want to so finish the loungeroom. I am so close but seems so far. Even cleaning out drawers and throwing crap away, filing things, cleaning windows, its never ending but will be well worth it. this is all so i have a place for my juicer even though i have a spot on the cupboard but i want it to be in the right spot.

Had an email from my SIL in law today saying she ate too much and drank way too much, she is the one that is coming down in a weeks time and we are the best drinking buddies known. I emailed her and said i did not drink over xmas so will be interesting her response. She has also asked why i am not drinking. She was married to my brother who was an alkie and died from it. Its not rocket science.

Well glad everyone is fine and dandy although a bit quiet. I'm off to do some cleaning then i am getting stuck into the kitchen cupboards. Son is filling pool so i think a dip is in order later on.

Today i will not drink.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, very sorry about your brother. That had to be heart breaking for you and family.:l
How long ago was this? So your SIL is coming? How long will she stay? Will that be hard on you? And for now, I won't go to places that remind me of Al, even if every place has Al, I will avoid it when I don't want to think about it. Sometimes it feels like rubbing salt on an open wound when we try to early to go places and be ok with it. Why put ourselves through that if it's not necessary.

Went to see "Saving Mr. Banks." It was awesome. Tom Hanks and Emma Thompson. Great true story. If you want the true story behind Walt Disney going back and forth with the author of Mary Poppins for 20 years to make a movie, and the story behind her struggle to let go of her past in order for him to make the movie, then you'll love this movie. P.L. Travers, who is the author of Mary Poppins grew up in Australia then moved to England. Her father was an alcoholic and died at a young age. Won't give up anymore info. but I'll be seeing that one again!

Night everyone.

[Kradle123]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jvo, you have truly inspired me. Can't say much else. Too emotional but I shared a bit in the one step thread. Your elegance, your honesty...just what I needed and I didn't even realize it.
Thank you :l
:h