Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Moss,
Soooooooooooo glad you're posting here and asking for support. We loamers are here for one another through thick and thin. We can cry, ask for help, complain, sing, bitch, moan, brag, dance, laugh, support, encourage, cry more and whatever it is at the moment that we need to do, we do it! You're going forward in your life in such a positive way - not reaching for the bottle when you're feeling down, being there for your parents and brother, and doing what you can. You can do all of this because you're sober. And we can help you, Moss. So, remember...:upset::l:egad::happy::nutso::yay::

No matter how we feel, we are here for each other.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB, I'm glad you got to talk to you daughter. I'm sure that helped you greatly. And crap, wish you would have texted or called or something, but you got through this with your dear daughter and I'm so glad she was there for you. As we've said to Moss, we need to come here and talk out anything that's on our minds. Shit, if everything was good in our lives, we wouldn't even be here, we wouldn't have gotten to know one another, right? We're here for each other. I love you Lil B!!!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

So something funny to report...

Yesterday, MIL came over for dinner. The family bought her a "mini pad" for Mother's Day. Moss, Kailey, Daisy, Eloise and for anyone that doesn't know about mini pads, we're talking the high tech mini pad also called and IPad Mini!!!!! But we call it a mini pad, as Nar likes to call it that. Anyhow, I gave her a little instruction on her mini pad. This is the first piece of technology my 76 year old MIL has ever touched. She has never used a computer, ever. She does have a cell phone, but that's it. So we had a little instructional visit. She's been using it for two weeks, and she's not afraid to touch it anymore. She first would just stare at it and be afraid to touch the mini pad. But now, when she does touch it, it's more like the force we used to use on manual typewriters. I told her that she could press a little more lightly than that. First lesson done! We did a few more things on it and she said that was enough! Don't wanna overload the brain, so she went home happy. Her birthday is tomorrow, so we got her a stylus to use (hopefully that'll solve the forceful finger thing...

Happy Monday, Girls.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

See, Moss, everyone is glad to see you! They just are not obnoxious stalkers like me .

I downplay my wants and needs too much, also. I think we tend do do that while our kids are growing up because it just makes life (including ours!) easier. But then there is a price to pay later when it seems like after all we've given (and given up), it should be "our turn". I've been better about communicating what I want/need but it definitely takes effort and involves taking the risk of putting myself out there and admitting that I need something. What if what I want or need isn't something someone else is willing or able to give ? I know it is a risk worth taking but it isn't easy.

J-vo, I love working with older people on tech stuff -- their absolute incredulity at what we can now do reminds me how amazing it really is. (It does take a TON of patience, though).

For anyone so inclined: Primal/Paleo Low Carb Recipe: Chocolate Covered Bacon

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lil B, glad you got to talk to your daughter. Sorry about Farquad. That is the best name EVER that we came up with!

My mom has an ipad and she is on Facebook 24/7 talking to all her friends all over the world. She has sisters in the U.S and lots of friends in India, England and all over Canada. It is quite amazing really. AND J-Vo, my mom was a typing teacher for 30 years so it is funny you were talking about typing. My momma is going to be 80 this year and is pretty good with technology.

I listened to the Bubble Hour yesterday, I think it was a re broadcast "Am I or Aren't I". It was really good. I could really see myself in a lot of what they talked about. It is part of making sure I have a healthy fear of drinking.

Anyway, back to work.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well, maybe Ava jinxed me when I was the example of someone coming on here and saying I drank and you'd be all shocked about that. Well, let me tell you, today has just been A DAY (I will spare you the details but it involves work, service people who do their jobs badly for a lot of money, a generalized bad mood from the moment I got up after a horrid dream-filled night, etc. etc.) and until I finally figured out how to fix it myself (NO THANKS AT ALL TO THE CABLE COMPANY WHO SAID THEY WOULD COME HERE THURSDAY BETWEEN 1 AND 3 AND THAT WAS AFTER I PRACTICALLY THREW A FIT WHEN THEY SAID SATURDAY), I had no internet this afternoon (with a PILE of online work to do). And no access to MWO.

I of course could have gone to a coffee shop or the library and used that internet but the options that were sounding good were the old tried and true escape mechanisms. I swear I was looking for that one last thing to put me over the top. I have to go to a booze-soaked party tonight, adding to my WTF frame of mind. I was going to text a friend but texting is a total pain on my dumb phone and I decided that was a big enough roadblock to asking for help .

Then I decided to try again to "fix the internet". I took all the hardware apart and put it back together and ---- it worked. So here I am telling you this story.

I'm still on a rampage but I'm not going to drink. I'm really glad there was no wine in my house. Note to self (and anyone who reads this) to keep it that way. I hope that if I hadn't been able to be the Cable Guy and fix it so I could check in here that I would have called or texted or taken a walk or something but at the moment I'm not feeling all that cocky about it. I was about as frustrated as I've been in months and I really wanted to just make it all go away.

So I guess my trigger is frustration. It isn't the smell or the taste or good times with friends. It is being so (somewhat irrationally) pissed off (at things I can't control).

Anyway, I'm ok. Part of me wants to not post this because typing it out has gotten me to where I need to be. But maybe it will be useful for someone else to read.

NS

PS AVA, I don't think you jinxed me :l - I did this to myself.

[MossRose]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS - this post is more than useful, it's a treasure. We all lean so hard on you that it's easy to forget that you have triggers too. Good job on getting past your frustration (damn cable company - they have almost driven me to drink numerous times) and telling us your story. Get through the booze-soaked party and then come home and pamper yourself. Maybe a hot bath with candles to wash away the angst. Hang in there my friend.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

My Dear NS,
Frustration is your trigger for sure. You've got a lot of good tools NS, but my question is...why didn't you just leave the situation and go to the library or the coffee shop? It would have given you a chance to calm down, because, yep, it's true, we can't control anyone such as incompetent and overpaid service workers.

I'm glad you put your frustration into taking the computer apart (wow, you are a brave girl) and made it work. That's pretty cool!

My next thing...get a smart phone. You deserve it and then I can send you some silly pics of me for when you get frustrated and you can giggle or I can send stupid jokes to you.

Finally, love what Moss suggested. Take a beautiful bath with candles and just be in the quiet moment before you go the the booze-soaked party.

NS:l

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ok, my turn...

I'll call this woman Ms. F--quad. OMG. She's at it again! She threw me under the bus last week, yet she comes into my room to shoot the breeze and I'm ready to shoot her in between her freaking eyes.

She starts off with small talk, then leads into, "I heard someone suggested to the principal that teacher X is going to be moved to 8th grade in your position." I tell you she's a freaking evil crazy bitch. Anyhow, my response, "who would make such a suggestion?" She looked up at the ceiling and all around and said, "I don't know, rumors are just brewing!" I gave her no emotion in my response, and just said, "yep, that happens at the end of the school year." She and another woman are the most manipulative (I worked with her new friend which is my very old friend until it ended up at she only cared about herself and getting the best things possible for herself) people I've ever known. Old friend is teaching Ms F-wad the ropes of screwing and manipulating people. How freaking sad is that?! So right now, I'm frustrated, was angry as hell at the manipulation tactics, and although I'm pretty confident that my position won't be changed, one can never be 100 percent sure until they give us our letters on the last day of school. She wanted to see me squirm and she got nothing!

I'm going to bed a little early. Night.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo, well done on keeping your head high! Don't let those doubts creep in - that would be the result she wants - go J-vo!
NS, I totally felt like that on Sunday - manic day! Pure frustration and I think it was more a need to block it all out than wanting to drink to be happy.......good to figure these triggers out. Glad you got through it in one piece!
Hi Moss - anything goes here - our problems and our successes are beneficial to everyone here as a group - all learning curves, and we all have different strengths and weaknesses that are useful to others.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks Daisy!

I just realized, I already had a name for Ms. F-quad. It was F.C.!!! Oh, I feel much better saying that.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS, J-Vo, wow, some frustrating times for you both. Way to deal with it though!
NS, taking apart your computer? That would make me drink FOR SURE!

Moss, so good to have you here.

I just went to my neighbors and we talked about how we don't drink anymore. She still drinks a bit but we used to drink every night together and that has stopped. I told her about MWO, not sure if she will try it out or not.
I am glad to be sober sweet Ladies. Keep strong, we are kicking AL's butt!

Ava, hope you have a great day tomorrow. Dream about me again ok?

Pav xo, we might cross post again!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

WOW im at lunch and do we all have PMS lol. God imagine having us in a room together all at once bitching away, it would be fantastic. Our own little AA group like the tv show MOM.

NS i find that when i get frustrated or stressed now the thoughts of al come to the fore but other than that I am fine, there are not urges if i see a bottle of wine or if i see someone drinking, they are gone thank god.

Jvo when i wanted a drink the other day the last thing on my mind was to remove myself from the situation, god i cant even remember what the situation was now lol but i think it is more the thought in our head and getting it to go away. Its not as hard to say No and fark off now as what it was in the early days thank god.

I do know that i could not possibly come on here and say i had drank and i could not possibly tell my children i had drank either and i could not possibly let myself down and go back to the hell i was living and like all of us - today i will not drink.

God work is great with out my FWAD boss. he rang today and he was coming back to work tomorrow and i told him not to as i was still not 100% and i did not want to get sick again. he is not coming in but i know it was a token effort on his part to make me think he was trying.

nar sorry lovely i did not dream about you, i am still busy thawing out from the other night.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow I do feel so much better knowing inam not the only one facing frustrations. NS you are there so much for all of us. We are here right back for you. Have some fun at that party.
J-vo I do feel your anger at that manipulation. I hate that. I have people try to manipulate me on a daily basis. Glad you made it through. I am kind of anxious about that last day letter you get. I want it to be the one you want. I love you too.
Ava glad your boss is sick. Bet you are too.
Narilly what is the large tablet called, a maxi pad? That would be what I have.
Mossrose and Ladies just so you know I too was very tempted to drink Saturday, but I remembered my daughter telling me how beautiful I am now and how many other people have complimented my looks lately. So I didn't. Well that's not the only reason. How far I have come always gives me a reason. The pain of watching someone hurt can be overwhelming at times so I do know how you feel.
Hubby and I are watching The World Wars. Very interesting and I don't think he really knows much about it so it's fun watching someone really learn things. Ava was Australia in the wars?
Good to see you Daisy.

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

available;1665401 wrote: WOW im at lunch and do we all have PMS lol. God imagine having us in a room together all at once bitching away, it would be fantastic. Our own little AA group like the tv show MOM.

I had to laugh when I read this, because as I was getting caught up, I kept thinking "Wow, these ladies are on a roll!" I hope you don't take that the wrong way, because I do know how important it is to have people you can talk to about anything. And also, how emotions can be an unexpected trigger. It just struck a funny chord. :H

I'm still plodding along, and slowly racking up the days. My biggest problem at the moment is feeling on the same page as my husband. How can I criticize or nag him for drinking, when I am only taking my first baby steps away from the same problem? I can't, obviously. But when I am sober and he is drunk he is so... unappealing. And he grates on my nerves. So, I'm mostly just keeping my distance and hoping he joins me.

Off to bed for me, soon. Looking forward to waking up feeling great.