Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

check-in, just in from work, no time to read back tonight, hopefully tomorrow..saying hi as I fly by:l

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, all:

Just flying in myself, although I did read back. NS - frustration is hard for a perfectionist. Byrdie posted that she got a craving out of nowhere at year 3 - part of why I have kept my healthy fear of the drink. Vigilance.

Sorry about all the F.C.s, Farquads and FWADs out there making life difficult for you all. May your days tomorrow be filled with lovely interactions and good company.

I saw my counselor today - realized that I am thinking long and hard about this vacation that I am going on with friends - but not until the fall. They are good friends, and I associate this yearly trip with laughter, fun and drinking. Never the GSR drinking, either. Fun drinking after a hike, near the lake, a bloody for breakfast before a nap. Of course if I think through the drink I don't want one, and if I think through the trip it is about being with great friends hiking and sitting by the lake, with alcohol as a background player. I think it is going to be like turning 40 was for me - a lot worse in the anticipation. I just wish I could get it over with...

Good night all. More tomorrow.

xo
Pav

[MossRose]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow - I didn't realize how many of these people were out there until reading your posts this morning. Something must be in the air.

I'm not sure if she's a FC, Farquad or FWAD (haven't quite figured these out yet - but I get the idea), but I too work with a woman who loudly berated me yesterday in front of several people for asking her a question. I told her to please lower her voice. She just rolled her eyes. This is not my first bad interaction with her. I calmly walked away (but was shaking inside), and started planning my next move, which is to have her officially written up today. I have already talked to my boss and he's on board.

I have never, ever pulled rank with this bully before, but I'm done with the way she treats people including me. I hope this is a wake-up call for her - not just at work, but in life. Be nice!! And if you can't be nice - shut up. There - now I feel better. Just in case you are wondering, I have never "officially" disciplined anyone before. Never had a need - my team is great, so this is new for me. Probably wouldn't have bothered in the past - would have come home and drank myself silly. Thank God those days are over. Must have something to do with regaining my self-respect.

Ava - I have a question. When you say you would never tell us or your children if you drank - did you mean that you would never drink again so there would be no need, or that you wouldn't tell us if it happened? Just curious. I would probably tell you all if it happened, but I'm hoping that will never be an issue again.

Well, off to work. Talk later.

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav, I have a big tropical vacation coming up in late Fall, too, and it most definitely is associated with fun drinking in my mind. I've been spending an inordinate amount of time worrying that it will derail me, and have even played with the idea of giving myself permission to drink during our vacation.

It's a long way off, and the whole chatter in my mind is already wearing me out. I just keep trying to push it to the back of my mind in the hope that when it gets here I will have enough AF time behind me that I will be able to resist temptation.

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Cross post, MR. I hope things go well with your co-worker today. She sounds (and probably is) miserable! I'm glad your boss is in board.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MossRose;1665511 wrote:

Ava - I have a question. When you say you would never tell us or your children if you drank - did you mean that you would never drink again so there would be no need, or that you wouldn't tell us if it happened? Just curious. I would probably tell you all if it happened, but I'm hoping that will never be an issue again.

Well, off to work. Talk later.

I could not face you guys or definitely my children if i drank Moss. I have failed at enough things in life, well thats how i feel, regarding the children so for that reason alone i can never drink again. For me it makes it easier to not drink, knowing that. I dont want to drink anyways, well 99% of the time.

I am sure i would tell you if it did (or i would run and hide in Siberia) but i wont but one can never say never with al, can they? I just feel that i cant fail with al since i have come so far and i know i am an alcoholic which makes it easier to accept.

You my girl are sounding so positive and go for it with that woman, i think we have been walked over enough in our life.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Moss, way to go, stand up to this woman. It is crap when people think they can treat others like that. So happy you are not drinking!

I am super busy at work today, my daughter is coming home from her Europe Trip and we are picking her up from the airport at 3:10 today. I can hardly wait! She has been gone for 50 days. She asked me to make her a simple meal tonight- "mom, can you make brocolli, fish and maybe a salad or chicken soup or chili or something like that" Awwww....what a cutie!

Ava, I will hide is Siberia too if I drink again. It is colder there than here so I am thinking NO!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar, that's nice that you can talk to you neighbor like that. A person who I thought might not understand actually was really cool about my decision. Made me feel really good. I've shared this site with my sister, but don't believe she uses it, but may lurk. Have a great reunion with your daughter! Wow, you must be so excited!

SL, glad you're checking in, dear!

Pav, we all need to keep that healthy fear of drink in the front of our minds. I hope you can come to peace with your trip in the fall. I think you're there, and will be fine. But too much anticipatory worry isn't good either. Can you set this idea aside until a few weeks prior? I know what that type of worry does to me and it's not good. I don't want you to waste these upcoming great summer months thinking about one trip.

Ava, time does make everything easier, for sure. You make me laugh, sista!

LB, thanks. And you're "maxi pad" comment makes me laugh! I have a maxi pad, too!!!!!! Absorbs much more....information! I think it's cool how you and DH are learning together.

Kailey, I'll be going to a tropical place at the end of june - one of those all inclusive deals. I've been on short vacations where I didn't drink, but this is the the type of vacation where booze and bathing suits go hand in hand. It's a part of the all day/week festivities. I have no intention of drinking. I will not drink. So what I will do is wake up early to see the sunrise (maybe not that early) take a nice morning walk on the beach, take lots of pics, and enjoy everything that everyone is, except for a headache, hangover, stupid or embarrassing things I would have said or done, dehydration, a slow buzz which feels like a dull headache. I won't miss out on the beauty of the place, the activities (which I may or may not have done due to tiredness) seeing everything clearly, dancing, reading, people watching. So I'm looking at this as a whole new adventure, one I've never experienced before, one where I'll remember everything, and not end up in the hospital with two front teeth gone (yes, that happened three years ago on vacation). I'm not worried about doing these stupid things like I normally would worry - worry about when I have to stop drinking, worried that I won't be able to stop...I could go on and on but you get it. I hope you can enjoy your new adventure, too. And as far as DH goes, think of yourself for now. One thing at a time. My DH kind of followed me in that he doesn't drink much on the weekends. Give it time, but I know how the frustration can be there. It's hard enough not drinking. Maybe his drinking can reinforce why you don't want to continue?

Moss, I think it is that we're regaining respect for ourselves and that it's not ok for someone to speak to us that way. Good for you!!!!

NS, how are you feeling today?

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well, J-vo, today I am feeling extremely relieved and grateful that an inexplicable bad mood combined with several (in the greater scheme of things, inconsequential) problems were not my undoing. It would have been so stupid and pointless.

I now don't think I would have done it. I believe I would have called someone (that is easy - even on a dumb phone ). But, having no wine in the house sure increased the odds of my not doing an irrational out-of-control thing that I would have ended up regretting so much. My self-confidence would have been crushed. It would have been really hard to come back here.

After everything settled down I was thinking about how all of us say we would hate to post here that we drank. I know slithering away would be a temptation for me but now, because of what has evolved over the last several months, that would mean giving up several very important friendships. So, I'd want to come back. The logical conclusion of all that is that it is better to avoid all the trouble and angst and just not drink.

Thanks for the supportive notes, Friends. xx, NS

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS, We are always here for you no matter what. Yes, that is another good reason not to have AL in the house. You know, what you went through probably made you stronger and next time it will be even easier to deal with that stuff.
Be Gone AL!

J-Vo, your all inclusive sounds fun. It is great how you are looking at the holiday from a different perspective. Can you imagine getting up early and being one of the first at the breakfast table and having No headache and No wine mouth? I just hate the thought of having wine mouth...gross!

Kailey, I totally get how your husband would drive you nuts when he has too much to drink. Before we did not notice because we were our own annoying selves when we were drunk. It sure makes you appreciate not being drunk though.
Maybe your soberness will rub off on him. My hubby drinks ALOT less now that I don't drink. It is quite amazing really because he really liked to drink and that is why we got together in the first place. We met at a bar and both were drunk, what a crapola way to start a relationship.
I told him that the only reason we were so in to each other that first year was because of drinking and sex (which came hand in hand). Now we actually have to learn how to talk to each other and have a relationship without the booze. (why does sex always come up in my posts?)
:H

Have a great day ladies!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar you are still reliving memories or your porn era, sex is bound to come up with you my love! Well after staying at your place and it being cold enough i so dont want to end up in Siberia, so here i will sit sober and there is no way i am lettin Pav to get to 6 months first. Not that its a competition.

Pav, you know how i was a mess before the hols with my "dragon" mother and thailand (alky city), it was just a big build up of nothing. I had two pity parties but that was it and it wasnt fun when it is a pity party for one so no point in going there. You will have 6 months af and you will be fine, you have everything in order and i am sure you are going through every scenario that we cant even imagine (thats what i did) and at the end of the day it was fine, more than fine, it was fantastic and a holiday sober, well fark me! Never thought that would happen. Make sure you check in here though or we can all send you a pic so that you can look at us daily and get scared, real scared.

NS get a new phone girl, now that will keep you frustrated for awhile. l am glad you are okay.

Kailey, never give yourself permission to drink that will only lead to trouble. We cant moderate, we are full on drinkers (dont want to put a label on it) and that is not an option so wipe that one off the table. I thought maybe one in Thailand, god it was hot, humid and i was on holidays and i knew in my heart i could not do that and really what was i missing? A hangover, anxiety, depression etc etc etc. Thats not fun at all. You will do this holiday sober and you will never regret it.

well hi ho, hi ho, its off to work i go

be good guys. My baby comes home from his two week holiday today, i am pretty excited. Mine doesnt ask for food Nar, i dont cook!

[MossRose]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all. It's evening here and I'm pensive, but not down. Just thinking. I'm so glad to be connected again. Thank you all.

Kailey - your post really got to me this morning - the one about my co-worker being miserable, so I went easy. Verbal warning. A written affects her career and I had to be mindful of that. Hopefully, this will work before more drastic steps need to be taken.

Nar - I read your post on Blue's thread about being cheated on. Had no idea we had been through the same thing. I only hope we are getting through to her. What a nightmare she is living right now. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Ava- thanks for the clarification. I almost got scared. Not sure I am worthy of being on this thread. You all are so sure that you won't drink again. Me...I was looking up Siberia on a map. I wish I was as confident as you all are.

My brother is doing very poorly right now. The treatments are brutal and depression has set in, Wish I could help him, but nothing seems to work, so hoping for the best.

To everyone, especially NS ('cause I love you), blessings and love.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Aw, Moss, it is so nice to have you here :l. The risk is, though, once people get used to seeing you around, it won't be only me tracking you down if you try to lay low... You definitely don't want to get Ava on your tail! So, stay close, ok?

Don't worry about not feeling so sure about things. I usually feel sure and look what a mess I was yesterday. Truth is, no matter what our long-term view is, there really is no way to do this (or anything else for that matter) except a day, hour, or minute at a time. As you're so sadly experiencing with your brother, all we really have for sure is right now.

xx-NS

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo now THAT sounds like a vacation. Restful and fun. Drinking on vacation and forgetting 1/2 the time and feeling crappy the other half? No thank you. Ava showed us how it's done and I fully intend to copy that excellent example when I go camping in the Smokey Mountains the end of this summer.
Narilly enjoy the reunion with your daughter. She is looking forward to home, I can tell by the requested cooking.
Kailey I could write a book on quitting while hubby continues to drink. If you look back at my posts when I first started 13 months ago, I probably did. It is entirely possibly and I know the ugly side of my hubby got to me too. He really can be a gross, sloppy drunk. Good news. He has been af for 9 months. The example you set by truly enjoying your sober life sends a very powerful message that will resonate uch farther then you know.
Mossrose you are where you belong. Sharing your pain with us. It sounds simple, but all the times I came here hurting and talked about it I ende up being comforted.
And your treatment of that woman sounds compassionate. Good for you.
NS I agree with you. I just don't know how I would deal with things without you ladies. I think we should take a vow to keep coming back. No matter what.
Jane welcome home. A nap always makes me feel so mush better. Hope it does the same for you.
Pav the longer you don't drink, the stronger you wil become. I know you will do fine on your vacation. We will be there with you.
I have been thinking a lot today. Hubby and I had a rain day. Many places are sandbagging around here and we are suppose to get two months of rain in the next couple of days. We got around 70" of rainfall annually here, so as you can see that's a lot of water.
Anyway. Here goes. 4 years ago I had a really bad car accident. I lost everything. Had to move twice. Once 2 days after accident and then come back for belongings 2 weeks later.
Last year at Christmas I had a large tumor removed along with my uterus. Non malignant.
So I am very afraid to go it alone. My hubby and I get along great now that we don't drink. And I love him much. I have confidence that he will get this addiction thing under control. But god it's hell sometimes. Pure and simple.
Well that's my story.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

P. S. NS cross post. And I don't see what you did as a mess. You handled a very frustrating situation and came through like a champ. Showing us how it's done.