Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo;1665603 wrote: Kailey, I'll be going to a tropical place at the end of june - one of those all inclusive deals. I've been on short vacations where I didn't drink, but this is the the type of vacation where booze and bathing suits go hand in hand. It's a part of the all day/week festivities. I have no intention of drinking. I will not drink. So what I will do is wake up early to see the sunrise (maybe not that early) take a nice morning walk on the beach, take lots of pics, and enjoy everything that everyone is, except for a headache, hangover, stupid or embarrassing things I would have said or done, dehydration, a slow buzz which feels like a dull headache. I won't miss out on the beauty of the place, the activities (which I may or may not have done due to tiredness) seeing everything clearly, dancing, reading, people watching. So I'm looking at this as a whole new adventure, one I've never experienced before, one where I'll remember everything, and not end up in the hospital with two front teeth gone (yes, that happened three years ago on vacation). I'm not worried about doing these stupid things like I normally would worry - worry about when I have to stop drinking, worried that I won't be able to stop...I could go on and on but you get it. I hope you can enjoy your new adventure, too.

Thanks, J-vo! This is exactly how I've been trying to reframe the trip in my mind. One thing in particular that I'm looking forward to is dinners at little seaside restaurants. This is a place we've gone many times and typically we are in bed by early evening and skip dinner after a full day of drinking in the sun. I'm going to really work on getting excited about not drinking on this trip, the way I'm becoming excited about not drinking on other days. It's not for a long time, so I have plenty of time to get this right.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ladies, it is bed time for me. I love your posts. It made me chuckle, Moss, to hear you were looking for Siberia on the map! Hey you know we are looking for progress here not perfection. If you listen to The Bubble Hour podcast with Dr John Kelly, he talks about the science behind recovery. It usually takes a few relapses before people actually reach abstinence. Listen to the podcast, I found it very helpful.

Ava, I agree with you that Pav will do fine. Right Pav?

NS, love you.

Xo

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh Lil B, I'm sorry you had to go through that but I am glad you are ok. It is great that you love your hubby so much. It sounds like you have a lot of inner strength, probably more than you know.
Big hugs from me sweetie.

Hi Jane! Glad your back.

Kailey, you are doing so well, that is awesome.

Pav, have a great night. J-Vo, you too.

My daughter came home and it was so good to see her. I made fish, rice, broccoli, and salad plus chocolate chip cookies. She was happy. I am blessed.

Xo

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Evening, ladies:

That was a fun read-back. You make me laugh. I think I'd have to head to Siberia, too, although I know in reality I'd have to come here and face the music, and I'm with NS - just much easier to say NO. And I agree - I can't think about September now - one day at a time. I am sure I will have fun - I love getting up early and reading my book on the deck, drinking coffee and just watching the lake wake up. I'll be doing it earlier, sans hangover this time. No regrets. Thanks for the pep talk, Ava and J-Vo. Kailey, you and I can both get excited for GETTING to go on vacation without alcohol. What a freeing experience it will be...

And Moss, no one is sure. That's why we keep coming here - to set in place as many assurances we can while also taking one day at a time. Sorry your brother is feeling so bad. Have you ever listened to David Sedaris? He has a show from Carnegie Hall that you can get digitally - I have given it to a few friends to listen to while they are recovering from chemo or surgery - I believe in laughter as a good medicine.

Nar - My first year with DH was booze and sex, too - they definitely go hand in hand. Getting a little more free without booze has been something interesting... My DH is the type to open a beer as he's doing chores around the house and forget about it, finding it two hours later with one sip out of it. Are you kidding me?? He still drinks plenty on special occasions, but most definitely has an off switch. What a nice dinner request from your daughter - have a wonderful reunion!

LB - What a lot you have been through. It sounds like you have a good support in your daughter and even in your DH, and that in spite of the addiction you have a good relationship. I will keep saying - because we're here for you and not him - make sure you take care of yourself first. (and of course the dogs). I can't believe you'll have that much rain! Boy could we use it here in CA. It must be scary to have that much fall all at once.

Jane - are the various wave lengths starting to come together? Hope your nap and recovery went well, and I hope you check in soon. We're due for a Jane gazette.

NS - Smart or dumb phone, I feel sure you'd come here first. I am always reminded of Ellie (one crafty mother) who drank after four years sober - and she ran a sobriety website! Her conclusion was that it was complacency and turning away from help that did her in - which is why we have a deal to keep coming here, and to meet in front of Cinderella's castle if MWO ever shuts down. Actually, I think we agreed to meet over at Soberista, right?

Giraffe - How's tricks?

Daisy, have your legs and feet recovered from the hike?

Humble, if you're reading, we're thinking about you and would love to hear from you.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

And I didn't say HI to you, SL. Hope you're well!

Pav

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning everyone; it is like getting up and seeing the elves have been at work - busy here while I was sleeping!
When I read what everyone has had to struggle with in their lives, yes, I feel for you, but I also know that those struggles and how you overcame them are what makes you stronger - we never know what is ahead.......if we hadn't built that strength, would we be even able to contemplate getting sober?
When my dad got ill people asked me how I was able to cope so well and asked where I got the strength......I thought about my past and times where I felt broken........then I went home and thanked God for all those challenges because now I was better equipped to look after my dad.
Not easy to think that way at the time but somewhere along the line the jigsaw will come together....

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Will read back in a few hours. Just wanted to say Ga Mornin'!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Moss i have to say i am never going to drink again, i cant have any doubt in my mind, i think if i keep saying it then it becomes the norm and of course you deserve to be here, we all do. Its a false confidence sometimes but its gotten me to 180 days today. i only just realised that when i did the date time calculator. here i am waiting till the 1st june for it definitely bein 6 months. Moss i trudge along everyday being sober and i enjoy it everyday. I still wish i could be a normal drinker but as time goes on i know i cant, well actually ive known that foreverf but we always wish for what we cant have. Its early days with treatment with your brother and it is bound to knock him around as well as having his diagnosis, time and regaining his strength will make all the difference. I must say i hate that "c" word. Hugs to you Moss.

Jane hi and good to have you back. Wow you sound all over the place so i hope that nap did you the world of good.

NS so glad you are unmessed now. So you werent a Sandra Bullock yesterday then? This shows why we have to be on here daily to be accountable and to talk. no one understands an alky like a fellow one and these thoughts and feelings will surface at some stage in our journey. I wonder when they go completely but i am patient and will find out when, like you will.

LB you are one hell of a strong woman and it is lovely to hear that you do love your husband and dont want to give up on your marriage. Its a hard, lonely world sometimes by yourself but my choice to stay with my ex, well there was none, i had given enough warning for him to change (just the 10 years or so) and he didnt listen. I loved him and i still do in a way but i cant live with him anymore. Your hubs is changing and maybe he is scared to let the other go as "what then". Like us all we all expect bells and whistles and a dancing parade (well i do) and dammit it, i dont have it. i feel boring (im not) but im different (i feel) as i dont drink and drinking is a culture, its sociable etc. But i want to live and if it means giving up al and fags then so be it. I AM NOT GIVING UP SEX! Hugs to you LB.

Kailey hello, i was petrified about my holiday but i had 8 weeks before i went and that made all the difference. The more time away from al the easier it was. Good thinking!

Pav its really freeing and you will be fine or telling us what Siberia is like in September.

Pat where are you now? Gees girl, dont go running away before you have settled in.

Well loamers, tye was supposed to be home at 5.30 pm and his plane has been delayed. It is now 8pm and he is just on his flight so wont be home till 11pm. One could say he is very unhappy and i wont get to say hello as i will be asleep. So definitely no cooking for me, not that i was thinking about it.

xxxxx

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I think we are all very strong ladies. It takes strength to work on problems. I see many instances around me where people do nothing and just go along wishing they didn't drink or do drugs. As far as being boring? That was me before I quit.
Have a good day.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

180 days for Ava and 60 for J-vo today! Congratulations, Friends!

I hope the absolute time between your quits remains the same but it will be cool when Ava has 1180 and J-vo has 1060 days and in terms of time AF, they'll essentially be the same. Like Byrdie says, we all got sober in the early 2010's :hug:.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Girls,
Day 1was supposed to be last week, somehow it finally happened today, so Day 1done !!
I will be back tomorrow on Day 2
Hey Ava and j vo ... Amazing and fantastic !! My feet are now following the path you are carving, well all of you here. Thank you
Pat
Xx

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1665899 wrote: 180 days for Ava and 60 for J-vo today! Congratulations, Friends!

I hope the absolute time between your quits remains the same but it will be cool when Ava has 1180 and J-vo has 1060 days and in terms of time AF, they'll essentially be the same. Like Byrdie says, we all got sober in the early 2010's :hug:.

Where's the like button? :goodjob:

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo and Ava, way to go! You are both grrrreatt!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

jane27;1665734 wrote: Back from Florida and feeling a little down & disconnected. Regardless, I am & will continue to fight the good fight by staying sober.
So how are you feeling today, Jane? Did you have a nice time in FL?

little beagle;1665780 wrote:
So I am very afraid to go it alone. My hubby and I get along great now that we don't drink. And I love him much. I have confidence that he will get this addiction thing under control. But god it's hell sometimes. Pure and simple.
Well that's my story.
You have quite a story, LB. I'm glad you are healthier now. How is your back doing, by the way? (I thought the uterus was a great thing to give up - hope your experience with that has been positive, also).

It sounds like you have a relationship that is worth protecting and if your husband can free himself from his addiction, can be made even better. Over the long term, though, people need more than the fear of being alone to keep them together. It's like our relationship with AL - at some point it is harder to keep it going than to quit. I hope he can change and be the husband you need and deserve.

narilly;1665811 wrote: My daughter came home and it was so good to see her. I made fish, rice, broccoli, and salad plus chocolate chip cookies. She was happy. I am blessed.

Don't you just love interacting with your grown kids now? I was so sick of feeling like I had to be so aware and careful about everything I said. When you're so self-conscious, there is no way to relax and enjoy what is going on.

Pavati;1665813 wrote: And Moss, no one is sure. That's why we keep coming here - to set in place as many assurances we can while also taking one day at a time.

That's it, Pav! There is an overall goal (abstinence) and the daily attention that keeps us on the path to that goal. ODAT on its own was tough for me to take until I realized for sure where I was heading.

Even if you're not sure you'll achieve the goal, it can still be what you set your sights on, Moss, and just head in that direction. After awhile, you'll hit your stride and it will seem like the normal way to go. It's easier once you realize that other paths are no longer options you would even consider. The longer you stay on the path (with no detours ), the surer you'll be that you'll stay on it.

Then, we just have to be alert to roadblocks that we'll encounter from time to time. I had a conversation with my friend FallenAngel yesterday - she's been NF and AF for ~ 7 years and has felt the pull of both addictions recently. But she knows how important it is to stay on the path (having had quit smoking once and had a relapse that took 8 years to get over) and just does whatever she needs to do to protect her quits.

I am always reminded of Ellie (one crafty mother) who drank after four years sober - and she ran a sobriety website! Her conclusion was that it was complacency and turning away from help that did her in - which is why we have a deal to keep coming here, and to meet in front of Cinderella's castle if MWO ever shuts down. Actually, I think we agreed to meet over at Soberista, right?

When I listen to the BubbleHour episodes that Ellie is on (earlier ones, before her relapse, I think), I just marvel that the woman I'm hearing relapsed! She sounds so confident and strong. It's a good reminder to keep doing what works for us.

daisy45;1665857 wrote:
When I read what everyone has had to struggle with in their lives, yes, I feel for you, but I also know that those struggles and how you overcame them are what makes you stronger - we never know what is ahead.......if we hadn't built that strength, would we be even able to contemplate getting sober?... thanked God for all those challenges because now I was better equipped to look after my dad.What a good thing to think of us as strong (to even try to quit) rather than weak for becoming addicted in the first place. It's great that you were able to be there for your dad when he needed you, Daisy.

available;1665870 wrote:
NS so glad you are unmessed now. So you werent a Sandra Bullock yesterday then? This shows why we have to be on here daily to be accountable and to talk. When a super-controlled person (such as myself ) feels out of control, there is sort of the feeling of Oh WTF, might as well go for broke. I've got to keep working on those skills for not letting frustration put me in that spiral.

patrice;1665902 wrote: Hi Girls,
Day 1was supposed to be last week, somehow it finally happened today, so Day 1done !!
I will be back tomorrow on Day 2

Congratulations, Pat, and we'll be looking forward to seeing you around :l!

Hi, Kailey!! So glad you are here, too!!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good Morning Pretty Loamers,
Wow, lots to catch up on! And lots of great topics to address. Happy 180 days dear Ava! So flippin proud of you. And yep, today is 60 for me. Haven't done that number in a long, long time. Don't believe I'll ever have that number again, as the last time i looked at a number line, the numbers get bigger and that's the direction I'm going with all of you girls.

It has continued to be a difficult week for me in terms of a few personal attacks from co-workers. Two women who care only for themselves and have no regard for attacking others is such a sad way to live. I don't think they'll be successful in their attempt to overthrow a few people in their positions, but to even think to do that to someone is despicable. I'll let you know of the outcome if there is one.

NS, just as Ellie had four years and relapsed, it could happen to anyone. BTW, when was her relapse? None of us is immune to that, but what was the reason for the relapse? Complacency. We need to stay present in our recovery, need to continue to post, help others, because this is what keeps sobriety going. So even though you're at 19 months, you know it's important to keep coming back here and doing what you're doing. We'd stalk the shit out of you if you weren't staying present here!

Nar, glad you had a nice reunion with your daughter! You make me laugh. You and sex. Well, former porn star...you'll have that coming up in conversation lots. Love you!

Ava, Glad you baby is coming home. I'm sure you miss him. Where did he go for two weeks? With friends? Congrats on your 180! You rock sista Loamer.

Pav, does that mean you're doing a 180, too? Congratulations dear!

Jane, drinkers are very easy to pick out of the crowd. And like you said, there aren't that many of them, but I know I was one of them. As far as physical attributes, yes, I see that, too. What a scary experience it must have been to even think the pilot was drinking!!!!! Something maybe to report? Thanks for the coin, Jane, and glad you're back from the Sunshine State!

Moss, so glad you're connecting with us. You are worthy of this site and of anyone or anything. Just remember that. I'm glad you can be there for your brother. Don't think too much about the future. Think about today, because as someone said, that's all we have, really, is today, this moment. Let's choose to stay sober in our present moments.

LB, camping in the Smokey Mountains sounds so cool! And look at what you and DH have now that you're sober and he's 9 months. That's so wonderful. Now you can do things together, have disagreements that make sense, learn by watching those shows, and so much. You're a gem.

Kailey, you have time to prep your mind, but don't overdo it. Just visualize how you want that vacation to be like in your mind. Play it through in your mind. You can get as detailed as you want, but that's a good practice. I think that's how the pro golfers, MLB players and anyone that plays sports go about practice. They practice mentally. And it really works! See yourself in your mind as that sober girl you wanna be with your suntan, pretty dress, no shoes and dancing in the sand.

Pat, glad you're checking in for day 2. Stay on board with us!

Hi Daisy, SL, Giraffe! Yes, we miss you Humble. Come back!

Have a great day ladies.