Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Think of how much you'll write on day 100, Pat! Maybe you should get that keyboard j-vo uses (she clearly has no trouble typing :H!).

Thanks for asking about me, Pav. I'm doing really well right now . I thrive in summer temps, some humidity, and long hours of daylight - more energy, interest in, and enthusiasm for just about everything. Even yard chores.

I wrote to Briseus today that it takes a long time to heal physically, mentally, and emotionally because she is impatient with herself right now. Frankly, I'm finally feeling now what I remember normal to be. Here's an example - at the gym today, I realized that I don't hate to catch sight of myself in the mirror anymore. It's not because of physical changes (at a glance I don't look that much different) but because I no longer feel ashamed of that person. I can look myself in the eyes again. I'm also so much less defensive about things because I'm not anxiously living a double life and assuming every little comment refers to that.

Hope you've enjoyed your 6 month celebration!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Just wanna say "hey" and good night girls. I felt a bit out of sorts today, but I think this last week of school leaves me feeling like that, kind of anxious, and low energy. I've also had to deal with some f-wits and I'm not really happy about that/them. So a bit bitchy this evening, but it is what it is. Oh, DS passed his driver's test. So proud of him. He had a chem final, English final, drivers test, two basketball games. Geez. I want his energy. I'm proud of my baby. Love you girls.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo glad for your energetic son. And now you have someone e l se who can run to the store for those last minute items you need when cooking a big dinner or planning a family get together. Enjoy the special last week of school.
Jane I understand how you feel about loneliness. I too wonder how my life is going to be when I am 80. Fortunately I no longer drink so incan look forward to a much healthier future.
On the friend issue. I think just being in someone's life and letting them know you are working on the al issue is enough. If they want help they will come to you. Especially if you are successfully navigating the waters. And you could say something to that effect. I am here if you need me kind of thing.
Narilly congratulations on the big 50 days. You are moving rightvalong. I am proud and happy for you.
Daisy others around here have said "fake it until you make it". Just keep doing what you are doing. It's working.
Pat I too am looking forward to how long your 100 day post will be.
NS glad to hear that you are enjoying your warmer weather and beginning of summer. I always kind of thought the beginning of summer was almost magical. So many possibilities. I still think it's a special time.
I read what you posted in the NN. The one you were refering to here. What a wonderful, caring response. Please, if you have any thoughts like that about how I am going about things tell me.
Ava how is your week going with Farquad? I love that name. :H
SL have a great, busy week.
night ladies.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS, so interesting how you are looking at yourself differently. It's so nice to be able to love yourself again. That double life is exhausting!

Jane, ya, my mom could write a book. Her dad died when she was 12 in India during the partition, leaving 4 girls and my grandma. My gmas brother helped them to get an education. My mom was the oldest girl and became a teacher. Wanting a better life, She met my dad through the Canadian Indian classifieds. He put an ad in for a wife, he immigrated to Canada in 1950. So she flew here and they got married. Lived in a small town and ate Canadian food.


I have no sisters.
You know, I don't worry about being alone at all. I know I will be fine no matter what- as long as I stay sober.
Being sober is awesome! No more struggle.

J-Vo, you will feel better next week. Congrats on your DS greeting his license.

Lil B, I love the name Farquad too! I bet your flowers are beautiful.

Hi Pav!
Ava deerest

Pat, mom is from Punjab. That sounds like a great trip.

Goodnight sweet ladies!

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I have no siblings and no kids...I so very afraid of being alone later in life....NO one...my best friend is my age so if we both go down not sure what I will do...sober or not we need someone sometime...scares me terribly

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, All:

My parents (especially my mom) are great examples of how to get old. The take their dog on a walk every day, my dad volunteers at the "old folks home" in town (and he's 80 himself!), my mom learned mah jong and plays regularly, they're social with lots of friends. I know if my dad dies first my mom would keep it up no problem, but I think my dad would have trouble being so social.

One of the best things about working at a school is that I have friends of all ages - I regularly hang with fellow teachers/friends who are in their 60s, as well as those in their 30s. I know I will have friends around even in my dotage... I'm sure you all do, to, and will. Yes, you, too, Dot! If nothing else, the steppers and the loamers will come keep you company...

Congrats on the license, J-Vo. I am slowly teaching my kid, but he has a year until it is official. And Jane - he cares somewhat about clothes - but it is hard to tell what or when. In CA many of the boys wear shorts year round, and my kids are no exception. I have to cajole them when we hit our Feb. lows in the 30s.

NS - I feel like it is taking a long time, too. I lose patience. I'll go read what you wrote to Bri. I felt better when the Bubble Hour guest said she started feeling better at 7 or 8 months. Gave me hope. I still feel pretty tired, and I feel very forgetful (supposedly that could be PAWS). But I am now ACCEPTING PAVATI and I accept that I feel like this for now while I will work on making it better... And thanks for the 6 month card - my goodness that feels sweet to say!

Jane - sorry about your friend. I guess the best you can do is talk about your success. Would it be weird for you if she were on here? If not, why don't you recommend??

Daisy - I have wanted to try a mini-triathlon but I keep getting injured (now it is shoulder from a bad dolphin in yoga (I KNEW I was doing it wrong but got impatient)). Getting older stinks, but it sure beats the alternative...

LB - I'm with you - NS, feel free to step in and tell it to me straight any time. Oh, you have... :H

Patrice - Almost a Full Moon for you. I act as a robot, too, sometimes, just following what the sober people do... Way to go!

Nar! 50 days! That's awesome, sweatheart. Wow, now you're a sweaty porn star with mini pads (and a new movie - 50 Shades). I always wanted a chance to use this emoticon :naughtfeet:

Ava - How's day 3?? Hope you're well. Have you decided our next milestone? I'm thinking 200 days sounds nice and round and isn't too far away... Any excuse for a week long party.

OK - off to bed.

Night, all.

xo
Pav

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav I know I went through a long spell where I just didn't feel great. Tired all the time, emotionally flat. But it passed around 6-7 months. Almost like breaking through a barrier. Like Pinecone says. Just hang in there. I think the longer I was sober, the better I felt. My flowers are ful. I think of us weeding out the problems caused by al every time I look at them. And I get a little lift of my spirits.

Speaking of problems, I have one this morning. I need advice.
Last night SD comes in while we were eating dinner and wants to talk. She has been going to counseling. 3 days a week for 3-4 hours a day. It's pretty intense. So she needs an excuse for her work. Why she needs this much counseling. She tells the owner of the Day Care that she and I have been having lots of problems and that I am in counseling with her. That I have been treating her so badly that she needs 12 hours of counseling weekly for 4 months. What?
Now here is my side. I work for myself. I have worked very hard to have an honest, kind, happy attitude. I Do NOT like to be used in a lie. And in my opinion, this is a whopper.
My reputation means a lot to me. I feel she has callously used me. She is very self-centered and there is never a thought to how she treats others or what she says about them. And she has targeted me because she does not like me. No she admitted it l ast night when confronted. Yes I did confront her about this. Her response was to turn very pouty and tell me she needed to get away from me because I had upset her.
Ladies, I am honestly down to my last nerve with this kind of thoughtless behavior.
Any honesty?
Hey I know she is going through big transitions right now and I am honestly trying to make allowances.

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Yo Lil B and y'all!

Just a quick fly by. Congratulations to all of you milestone achievers!

That would get me mad LB. I wish for you patience, clarity and strength working through that one.

Pretty good here. Day 23 coming to a close. Take care everyone. L8tr.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

little beagle;1667739 wrote: Pav I know I went through a long spell where I just didn't feel great. Tired all the time, emotionally flat. But it passed around 6-7 months. Almost like breaking through a barrier. Like Pinecone says. Just hang in there. I think the longer I was sober, the better I felt. My flowers are ful. I think of us weeding out the problems caused by al every time I look at them. And I get a little lift of my spirits.

Speaking of problems, I have one this morning. I need advice.
Last night SD comes in while we were eating dinner and wants to talk. She has been going to counseling. 3 days a week for 3-4 hours a day. It's pretty intense. So she needs an excuse for her work. Why she needs this much counseling. She tells the owner of the Day Care that she and I have been having lots of problems and that I am in counseling with her. That I have been treating her so badly that she needs 12 hours of counseling weekly for 4 months. What?
Now here is my side. I work for myself. I have worked very hard to have an honest, kind, happy attitude. I Do NOT like to be used in a lie. And in my opinion, this is a whopper.
My reputation means a lot to me. I feel she has callously used me. She is very self-centered and there is never a thought to how she treats others or what she says about them. And she has targeted me because she does not like me. No she admitted it l ast night when confronted. Yes I did confront her about this. Her response was to turn very pouty and tell me she needed to get away from me because I had upset her.
Ladies, I am honestly down to my last nerve with this kind of thoughtless behavior.
Any honesty?
Hey I know she is going through big transitions right now and I am honestly trying to make allowances.

Omg Pav. I am entirely new here, but your SD is WAY out of line.
My father's 2nd wife was an enormous sword in my side for 20 years and I wouldn't have dreamed up something like your SD is doing. Shut her down. No second thoughts.
Good grief. Talk about self destructive behaviors.

Honestly. I am shocked anyone would come up with such a story and then ask you to back her up on it? Please. She needs a new therapist.

Thanks for posting about the 'blahs' moving on after about 6-7 months. That is how I am feeling now. Sometimes I feel too silly & happy and then later.... blah.
You give me some hope, thank you. You don't deserve this drama from the SD, in my humble opinion. Ugh.... not good.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi LB,
I agree with everything Eloise says... It's unacceptable behavior for anyone.. Hope you're ok
Hi all,
I'm so tired, can't really sleep....grrr, anyway no problem, only 2 more days of work and then a long weekend and my son is going away for a sports thing, yay some free time!!
Hope you are all great
Take care
Patrice
Xx

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you for that input Eloise. Wish we could hear more of your wisdom.
Pat I know about not sleeping. Grrr is right.
Just wasn't sure if it wasn't ME out of line there. So shell shocked that I am not sure if I am over reacting.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB, I agree with Eloise that what SD did was unacceptable. And getting an excuse for her counseling is one thing, but why would she need to put any blame on you in the excuse. That's ridiculous. How about being honest about why she needs counseling, although I'm sure that doesn't need to be disclosed or maybe it does. But putting blame on you is just wrong. Hugs LB. Oh, LB, I won't be the one cooking that I'll need to send DS out for ingredients...that's DH!!

Daisy, being a robot is what it takes at times. Just going through the motions, then one day you're gonna wake up and be like, hey! When did Daisy come home!!!!!

Nar, that's cool that your mom has so much independence. I bet that makes you feel so good, too. Pav, my mom also plays Mah Jong and really likes it.

Dottie, you seem to be an independent person, although we all need someone to lean on. When we retire, we'll have to start meeting for long weekends!

NS, I love that you're seeing yourself in such a nicer and more positive light. That's awesome. The rewards of not drinking just seem to get better and better.

Jane, I liked what Eloise said about your friend. And what Pav said...how about inviting her here? That just goes to show you that we're all only one drink away, one sip away from a relapse. Let's all be on guard.

Patrice, I'm glad you're posting longer and longer! How will you enjoy your free time?

Ok, still feeling like blah. I know that whatever it is, it won't last. I know I'm tired, but that's ok. Love you ladies.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar- I'm going to do some shopping and nice leisurely stuff I can't do with my 8 year old around.. I live in Penang so if it's not too or rainy ( monsoon time), might take a restful walk on the beach..

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks Jane. Yes I think we are having the same issues right now.
I'm feeling better. Tulle, cat hair, and remodeling were what waited me at work today. But I threw myself into the challenge and that house sparkles. The parts I could get to at least.
The lady of the house looked rough this morning. It just made me SO glad that's not me anymore.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Loamers

Well, I played hooky and went on a road trip on a bright sunny day in a convertible with the top down and the wind whipping around - wonderful!

LB, your SD has a lot of problems and it is clear that you are doing everything you can to help her, no matter how difficult she makes it. What she owes you in my opinion, at a minimum, are honesty and respect. It is important for her to learn those things or her lying and poor attitude are going to plague her for her whole life, even if she does manage to get off the drugs. Once again, it seems like you are the one who has to teach her those things, too. She isn't going to offer them freely - she probably doesn't even know how to tell the truth and treat people the way they deserve to be treated. To treat YOU the way you should be treated.
Easier said than done, I know, but it is wrong for you to have to take all of that from her. I hope her Dad can step up and not leave all of this to you.

Pat, anyone who is so fortunate as to live near a beach should feel almost obligated to go out and enjoy it as often as you can. You LIVE my dream vacation!!! Enjoy your time on your own. It's so good to have you here with us gaining and maintaining this better AF life.

Sorry to hear you're still blah, J-vo, but blah always beats ashamed, hung-over, disappointed, scared, frustrated, desperate... need I go on ?