Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Way to go Jane, so cool 150 days!!
Enjoy your day
You too NS !
Xx

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane! Awesome, Way to GO!! 150!

Ava, haha! I remember that damn beach walker! I hope your date is super fun. Maybe you can get a little snuggle out of the guy. No more drunk sex that is for sure! Uh boy, there I go with Sex again...

I am going out with some friends on Saturday and they are wine drinkers. Last time I drank after 55 days wich is what it will be on Saturday. I don't know what it is about this amount of time but the drinking thoughts keep creeping into my mind. I just push them away but sometimes they scare me because my mind starts going down that road of "oh, I can just have one or two".
Anyway, I am being extra vigilant about that and there is no way I am going to drink because I DON'T want to! Frick it is hard sometimes though.

Anyway, going for a walk at lunch. Talk later.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

narilly;1668421 wrote: I don't know what it is about this amount of time but the drinking thoughts keep creeping into my mind. I just push them away but sometimes they scare me because my mind starts going down that road of "oh, I can just have one or two".
Anyway, I am being extra vigilant about that and there is no way I am going to drink because I DON'T want to! Frick it is hard sometimes though.

Hi, Nar. My theory is that at this time, it isn't a huge daily struggle anymore and it starts becoming hard to remember the bad parts. So, you're starting to feel like you really weren't all that bad and really, I'm totally with you -- I don't "feel" like I have a problem at all. It would be so easy to believe that I'm now fine and can handle it and in fact, I think that might happen without this ongoing commitment to facing the truth each day. I have a detached, sort of intellectual memory of what I was like but I don't feel it - so I come here every day to be reminded because the pain of people who are still in the throes of addiction and the joy of those who are escaping make it all very, very real.

Like Ava and Jane, you'll be fine :l.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks NS!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

jane27;1668452 wrote: The good news about those hard moments Nar is that the more of them you get thru, the easier it becomes to regard them as a nuisance with a start and end point. Time is our friend.

That being said, I'm new to the table on the Bubble Hour; I've only heard 2 episodes. From what I can tell from the web sight, Ellie fell off the wagon. What happened? Do you guys know any more about it?

NS, I'm not sure when the 1st episode was, or how to find it. Are they listed chronologically somewhere? I'm sure it doesn't matter, I'm just curious & I also want to find the episode with John Kelley because I haven't heard it yet.

Hi, All the episodes are here in reverse order: The Bubble Hour. Or you can subscribe to the podcast and select 'get old episodes'. The John Kelly one is my favorite.

This is Ellie's blog; her post about the relapse is about 4 back: One Crafty Mother.
I see she has a new post today so I'll go read that now.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Aaaargh!! Thank you NS! One more HUGE reason for me to get through this weekend and not drink. Oh man, that totally sucks when that happens. It makes me want to cry because I feel sorry for Ellie and also because it scares the crap out of me.
I think some healthy fear is good though in this case. It will keep me vigilant.

xo

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane congratulations on your 150 days, i love days that end with a zero in them, actually any day without al is a great day.

Nar i wont have drunken sex if you dont drink. Ha ha and there is no chance of any drunken sex from me so its all up to you. Im not saying anything about sober sex though! Damn its been a long long time without a drink and without sex and i need to have a smile on my face!

My boys are driving me nuts, i said to them (numerous times) that during the week i dont want anyone over after 8.30pm and off i went to go to sleep at 10ish last night and by 11pm it was like a full on farking party was happening. well i opened my bedroom door and lost it, im not one to care who is in my house if they are disrespectful. so i told both boys to come into my room (tye ran away i think) and liam came in with "eyes rolling, like i was talking shit". i proceeded to yell and tell him and everyone else that there is a thing called respect and if they didnt all leave i would personally get up and help them leave naked. Wow the house became quiet very quickly. I know they were used to me passing out and they could do anything but ffs that was 6 months ago. So i am furious atm and we are having a fam meeting on the weekend, this has to stop. it does for a few days and then they start doing it again. I am a pretty easy going person but if there is no respect towards me from them then i will blow like a bloody volcanoe and its pms time so they are dead. well not literally.

ok better go and shower and think of what to wear. Long weekend here so i am happy that its friday.

Pat stay on here girl, remember you are in the early days and being by yourself is a huge trigger and especially if you drank alone, at home, etc etc etc. We will be here. Get that massage and those lollies and af drinks and post.

will post that ava gazette on the weekend. take care ladies.

Jvo hope you are ok.............

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Girlies,
Will be back in a few hours. Going to dinner, then gonna do lots of back reading when I get home. Love you girls. Oh, feeling a bit stressed, and I need you girls lots. I'm so glad you're here. Not stressed, just Al is talking to me and I need him to shut the F up. So just being honest here. I know why, too. It's the end of the school year. This is a big one for me. Not to drink through the next several days. So I must be vigilant and hang with my girls (haha, my girls hanging...that would be my boobs, but hanging with my girls, that's you all).

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

It is just another day ending in a Y Jvo nothing else. It is just another day that you dont drink.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nipping in to say well done to Jane - proud of you!!!!
Silly crazy here, and some of the 100 day blues going on - some hankering to drink, but managing not to - have to work out my next goal so I can aim for something...

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-Vo, I am having the same feelings. Lets plan to do something fun tomorrow night like go to a movie! You in? We need a distraction

Ava, glad you won't be having drunk sex! You know, those darn kids, that happens to me too sometimes. Like Sunday night I woke up at midnight and the kids were talking loud and had a friend over. Drives me crazy but they aren't going to be around too much longer (I don't think).

Anyway, off to a after work massage and walk home.

J-Vo, I ordered a keyboard today for my mini pad. My mini might be there when I get home. I can't wait!!!

xo

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NOT reasons to drink:

Dinner with Dad
Raging hormones
End of school year
Unstructured summer
Completing 100 day (or any) goal
Badly behaved sons
Sons who are gone for the weekend
Having sex
Not having sex

Take a look at Ellie's blog post today - it will just break your heart. She writes well enough that I can truly feel her pain. It just isn't worth the risk and whatever short-term relief we think we'll get from that list of challenges.

xx, NS

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS, seriously, it gave me a lump in my throat. Totally devastating. Poor Ellie. It sounds like some really bad things happened during her relapse. So scary!

I don't want anyone to be saying "poor Nar" so I just won't go there.

Let's stick together ladies and get through this Shite.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'm happy I might get laid! Oops shld I say that??? No reason to drink either way for me.

I won't b poor narring or jvo I have stronger words than that.

[frances]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi y'all! I hope you don't mind my popping in. Today I've been reading around and many of the posts here reflect how I'm feeling too...stupid AL thoughts ("I can moderate, can't I? ") raising their ugly head. And at day 100 at that! So yesterday and today I've been reading lots of blogs (that I've learned about here) and other things too and saved some 'quotes' that have helped me remember where that thinking leads...thought I'd share here...

From Stick a Fork in Me

When I cut back (which I successfully did many times ? temporarily) it required constant vigilance, which created tension, which worked against the very reason I was reaching for the bottle at all ? to relax. Why did I not see that contradiction before?

Whew, I need to relax. Let me pour a drink ? (but not too much!)

Mmmm, that was good, is it gone already?

I could probably have another one. (But not too much, promise!)

Oops, heavy hand. Oh, well, I?ll just drink it slowly.

Is it gone already?

Am I acting funny?

Must. Act. Natural.

Aw, who are they to judge me anyway? Just a wee drop more. (Not too much ? oh, fuck it.)

Is this relaxing? I don?t think so.

Yesterday was not a stressful day at work, the sun was shining, I had no reason to feel unhappy. But I did. For a moment I went through a flurry of thoughts, that went something like this: what was I thinking, saying I?m going to stop entirely? Why not just cut down? There were always all kinds of situations where I could drink and not have a problem. Why don?t a just say that I?ll only drink in those situations? But oh wait, I?ve tried to do that many times before. How many times did make up all kinds of different rules for myself? Only drinking after 5 ? only drinking with dinner ? only drinking wine, no spirits ? only drinking three days a week ? only having one drink a day. How well did those rules work for me? Well, they all did.

Until they didn?t.

From Ellie on when she remembers how she was when she drank (we do not want to go back there....we KNOW that!)

On my three year anniversary, I force myself to embrace her, hold her close, tell her she's stronger than she knows. Only by staring her in the eyes and reminding myself that she will always reside in me can I remember that she waits for me. Waits for me to think I'm all better, waits for me to feel far enough removed from that day that I can lie to myself, tell myself that I can drink in safety now. That one drink won't lead me right back there. Because it will.

And also from Ellie and this is where I was heading:

It's a frightening truth: if alcohol is slowly (or perhaps not slowly) taking over your life you won't know when you cross that line, because you'll find a way to normalize it. You'll slide down into the obsidian eye of addiction where your world will be small and dark and only one thought will occupy your brain: more.

If you're wondering - do I drink too much? If you are sneaking a drink here or there, if you're lying about your drinking, if you tell yourself in the morning: never again - only to break your promise hours or days later, please take heed. It's already happening, and all those things you tell yourself you'll never do? They are only things yet to come.

If you're struggling with alcohol, look inside yourself, at your truth. If there is a woman inside you who is slowly drowning, hold her close. Tell her she's stronger than she knows.

I'm heartbroken for Ellie. We know from everyone before us what is in store for us if we give in...it is so hard sometimes to be strong but we have to.

Sorry so long but as I've been reading these things jumped out at me and then when I saw all of the posts here about folks having stupid AL thoughts like me I thought it might be worthwhile to share...Like jvo said...F#$& OFF AL!!!