Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks Patrice! I'm working through it for sure.

Lil B, you have so many cool interests!

Nar,:l and enjoy your day!

Daisy, wow, you're breaking through this with us! The tools you used are great and they worked. Keep using them. So happy for you. And one thing Ava mentioned to me...it's not all about me. I'm doing this for my family and friends who love me. They would be devastated if I picked up a drink.

Funny story...DS just got his license on Monday or Tues of this week. So he decided he needed to clean out my car which will eventually be his car just now. Anyhow, he comes up just now and says, I found something in your car. I can't believe you Mom! I'm feeling myself get hot, like "busted! and WTF did he find!" He showed me three dunkin donut receipts. He said, "You keep saying you're fat and crying about it. How are you gonna lose any weight when you're going to Dunkin Donuts! I don't wanna hear about your being fat anymore if you go to Dunkin Donuts."

Have a great day ladies!

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks Jane.....no thoughts today so I will be fine. My son and his girlfriend are coming to stay tonight.....we have my dad's anniversary mass in the morning - can't believe he will be gone a year on the 10th June. Life feels like it is getting back to normal again; a different normal - he wouldn't want us moping......
J-vo, good one! I am not into sweet stuff but since AF I think I need a lock on my fridge, or someone else to do my shopping......still not as bad as the vino, so I say Go Dunkin Donuts!!!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning loamers

well it is a long weekend and i am having a four day weekend as i can. My boss has been sick for 2 weeks with the "man flu" and i really could not think of anyone nicer that i could pass it onto than him. He has not seen that i have moved my computer yet so i am sure a chat will come but now i am back at work it is my desk so it stays where i want.

Pat my sleeping was crap for weeks and weeks and i had atrocious headaches also but i always figured that i put the shite into my body so it took time to get rid of it and i had to accept that if not sleeping was part of the payment then so be it but i did nap a lot. Now i sleep like the dead when i get to sleep. You are doing so well.

Frances hello, i have been reading your posts on NN and you are doing so well. Wouldnt it be nice to have that drink once in awhile, i still think that but i know i can never have that one or it will eventually end up as 100 and i would be in the same place i was for ten years and i dont want that.

LB how is the family situation going? when i read about your SD i wanted to bitch slap her from your place to mine. How disrespectful is that, no wonder you are/were at your wits end. I hope she has pulled her head out of her arse and realises what she is doing but i wont hold my breath on that one. Loved your post on the "baby", we need to nurture and look after our quit with all we have. I try and instill in my boys that they need to give me respect for them to get it also. At the moment i am downloading shows off the net when i want and it makes their games lag, as i said to them well stop having people around after 8.30pm at night and i may just stop downloading and annoying you. Seems to have worked thus far.

Jane well getting laid was apparently what i needed ha ha, well the boys say i am in a much better mood now. How is it going with the son and his gf, has he been following the house rules now with regards to sex etc. I am glad your visit with your dad went well. Did he say anything about your not drinking or just let it be? This guy the other day just said to me "you dont drink do you?" and i said no i dont. I did not elaborate of why i dont drink but if he asks i will say why, i find the struggle of hiding my al before was worse than just saying that i dont drink now. Its funny how our mindset changes the more we are sober.

Nar how are you lovely? Got the mini pad all worked out? Its getting cooler here now but nothing like your place. No gloves or scarves yet but has been raining on and off for a week or more and the washing is piling up and up. i find on weekends i have no motivation to do a thing except the bare necessities.

MR how is your brother going? Sorry you had an argument with your mum but i could imagine the stress levels are way out of control but being sober and having an argument is a lot easier than fueled by al and then regretting what you spat out in the heat of the moment. Roxy told me about Orange is the new black but i am watching Banshee atm and damn that man is hot, i cant stop perving on him. Mom is also a good watch too. I am suprised at how much tv i watch now to when i drank. Probably due to the fact that i never remembered what i watched. Be strong MR you are an inspiration to me that you keep going and going and going. Very proud of you. I have found now that i can not please everyone and it doesnt matter if i dont, they can build a bridge and get over it as i say.

Oh Pav i remember the 100 day mark, triple digits, this is the life, i've made it and then the "well what now". The what now is that we just keep going and going. No dancing girls or parades to celebrate a huge achievement in af life, just another day. I looked yesterday at the date/time calculator and its 190 days and im like "yep thats good". Now its another day af and i think it has been 3 weeks since i had a strong al thought and i do get down when i have them and feel a bit sorry for myself but as i said to Jvo that not drinking is not all about me. This affected my children, my mother, work and friends. If i drank i would let all of the above down and i am not prepared to do that. If i get a big urge to drink or just feel like one to be sociable i will say to one of the children how i feel and they always say "no mum". I let them down for a number of years with my drinking, too many and i want those grandkids to spoil sober. I just wish one would come!

Jvo i am so jealous that you and Pav have time off. God waking up daily to do anything you want or nothing and in sunshine, you cant ask for more than that. Just think of how many more sober days you will have at the end of your holidays. Its still early recovery for you so dont push yourself, just enjoy your time, you deserve it. What class did you get for when you go back? Not sure if i missed that one.

Well i really have to get motivated and do some cleaning. The date went well, he actually walked to my work and i drove to his place. My sense of direction is crap so that was nice of him. He is a genuinely nice man and as i said i have not met one of them in an awfully long time but i am not in a rush. I have major trust issues but i will see him again. It was nice to be given attention and listened to. I am wary as i am not used to getting attention. My ex husband gave me no attention unless you call strangling or knifing attentionf (my fault apparently for stressing him out), ex boyfriend made me feel like a worthless piece of crap and other men in general used and abused. So i am wary and after being alone for 5 years we will see but he is nice, a dag, wears terry towelling hats to golf but very sweet. Totally different to the men that i seemed to be attracted to before in my af fuelled days but i am still getting to know sober Linda so time will tell. I used to be gung ho if a male gave me attention but now im just going to cruise along and keep getting laid by the one person, how novel is that! Ok time for me to stop as i only get myself into trouble.

Roxy, where are you and hope you are doing fine and dandy! NS love you girl and always reading your posts. Where is Giraffe, Humble, LC? Nice to see you pop in MR G and doing so well. Whoever i have missed, not intentionally. Love to all.

Im exhausted after this gazette. I did start to reply to every page but god you girls can talk.

xxx

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all I am still here. New laptop and new technology is giving me a headache. I will get it but it will take some time..been crazy busy so that is a good thing. Been stressed out about selling my folks house and trying to fix everything so we can list it. Hard to find anyone to hire that is reliable.
I know this will be find just don't feel it just now.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Dottie, Hang in there, I haven't got my new ipad mini yet but I am sure I will have to go through some growing pains with it. They say that selling a house is one of the biggest stressors in life.

Ava, OMG, that made me laugh! Well, I guess it is good you are getting some action. The same person is good too...but for me, after 23 years of the same person...well, I guess it is still good. I calculated it out and If we have had sex say 'the average' 3 times a week X 52 weeks that is about 150 times/ year X 23 years is, Probably over 3000 times with the SAME PERSON!! I am just sayin, not complaining, just making a point.
This does not include the pre marital sex which was a lot.

Well, I am off to a community BBQ where I won't drink, of course. A few years ago I got bombed at the community BBQ and don't really remember leaving. It was gross.
After that I am going for dinner with my girl friends who are big wine drinkers. I will not drink there either. Hopefully I will get home by 10pm.

Oh, and I must say that I will not drink because you ladies have helped me so much. I was starting to waffle a bit the other day thinking I could just have a little glass of wine tonight. Talking it out with you all really helped me. I came to you as soon as started to recognize where my thoughts were leading me. Thank you.

J-Vo, haha! Dunkin' Doughnuts...well at least it wasn't a Mickey or something like that. You have all summer to get back into shape girl.
Jane, what were You thinking J-Vo's son found in the car? wink wink!

Daisy, have a great weekend with your family, so glad you are sober

Lil B, hope you are hangin' in. I was working in my yard today and my flowers are looking great.

Have a super sober Saturday night everyone!
xo

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Loamers:

Good start, Ava! I don't even have that much in me. I did have to use Urban Dictionary to look up "dag," but other than that I think I followed... Except - did you get laid? Your coffee date? Living vicariously as I have been with the same guy over 20 years. Pardon me if I misread that. And did you say your ex threatened you with a knife? Good god, woman! No wonder you have a stack of bricks...

J-Vo - Sorry you are struggling, but SO GLAD you came here to post about it. I understand about feeling low, I really do. There are some Saturdays when I think - I should feel like peaches and cream; I'm sober, I slept well, the weather is nice, I have a hike planned, kids are good, DH is good... But then I wrap myself in my blankets and cry. I am able to work my way out of it, which is why I know I don't have chronic depression, but I DO feel for people who do. My plan for the summer is an easy plan, but part of it is to also ease into relaxing - figure out how to be with myself alone, just roll with it. That might be helpful for us to remember, too.

Jane - I am curious, too, about what Ava asked. How was your dinner with your dad?

Patrice - I love 8 year olds! Try going out to movies, bowling, the beach - you'll have a great time. They're pretty easy going and not snotty yet - perfect. Glad you're doing well.

NS- the story about the grocery store is funny. I probably would have suspected my DH of having an affair, even though I don't really think that about him at all. When I was drinking and particularly angry with him I used to wish he'd have an affair so I would be the "wronged" person and yet could leave him. He is very well liked (he is a very good-natured, friendly person in addition to his challenges), and I was afraid that if I left him without cause I would be the one they stopped inviting to parties. Thankfully, those dark days of our marriage are over, but your story brought up those memories... And thankfully, I am honest with myself about my feelings now - no, I wouldn't want DH to have an affair, as it turns out.

Nar, SL, Frances, LB, G-Man, Dot, Giraffe, anyone else - have a lovely Saturday night. I'm off to see a movie in a theater (I don't do that very often - used to avoid because there was no alcohol there). Catch you all later...

xo
Pav

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lol Pav of course i did get laid, i was on a sober mission, well actually no i wasnt, i didnt really even want to meet anyone but he was persistent so i did and it has turned out fine. I was married for 17 1/2 years before i opted out, mind you i did tell him for 12 years or so that if he didnt change i would leave and i did when the children were old enough. The poor diddums had it tough, he had to work and then come home and smoke cones and drink beers and he wonders why i was a bitch. Yes he did the knife trick of "talk to me or........", the strangling trick in front of the children. All for attention. Now he doesnt work, still smokes cones and drinks and gets looked after.... there was a reason why i left.

Wow Nar great calculations there and still 3 times a week, he must be good is all i will say and having just the one after your porn experiences must be novel! Does he know about Nar the porn star?

Funny how we push the ones we care about away when we are drinking Pav and i am glad that you did not push him to have that affair, not that he would have as he loves you! Enjoy the theatre, wish i was tagging along but a beautiful clothes drying day awaits me and fridge cleaning and freezer cleaning and food shopping if "wine boy" (son) gets home. Ive done something to my shoulder, probably doing the exercise class for NS and its so sore. Bloody turning 50 is all i will say.

Dot glad you are fine, well you will be once the house is off your neck. Take care and keep popping in.

[frances]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi everyone - just popping in on Saturday night to say hello....you guys are busy

Jvo - I think posting here is therapeutic - it sounds like you have recognized you are in a funk and are already starting to determine what you can do to help address it- that's awesome!

Pav - sorry to hear about your "second mom"...that must be hard. I hate those thoughts about alcohol making everything feel better for a moment. Because it might, for that moment, but then so very quickly as you said, everything bad about it comes back and it's not worth that one stupid moment to go through all that hell again.

Wow Daisy - what a great experience to hear about. You were so close and you got through it - by doing all the things we talk about on here - that's so awesome!

Ava - glad you had a good date - sounds to me like you sooo deserve it - good for you! I also read your posts here and in NN and am so impressed by your resolve...you are a great role model for me!

Nar your story earlier about how you got back to drinking after 54 days is exactly what I know would happen to me...the more I hear about that happening to others, the more it helps me. So you are helping me - thanks!

Jane I love your thoughts on moods and colors - so true everything now is so much, well, just MORE. I know about your day 107 and I am bracing myself for similar experiences, whenever they may come. Lately it's just been a pretty regular "nagging" that's annoying me but has not been too hard to get past. I know it can get worse and I need to be prepared for it.


LB, Gman, Dottie, NS and everyone else - hope you are all having a great weekend! I play music with my church praise band and so will be busy at the morning services and then we're playing at the church picnic in the afternoon tomorrow - should be fun! I will be missing my daughter's softball though which I hate to miss - she takes it very seriously and her team is not doing as well as they had been previously (and she personally is not hitting as well herself either) so she's been down. I hope she has a better day tomorrow than today was for that.

Good night all!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Quick check in for me. I'm glad everyone sounds good today.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi girls,
Hope you are all having a great day!!
It's nearly the end of day 11 and back to work tomorrow
All good here apart from lethargy
Take care
Xx
Pat

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hang on tight there Patrice.
I think the first few weeks are strange as we are used to feeling entirely different while under the influence of alcohol. I am only on day 22 and 'sort of 'starting to feel more in control? Less reactive ... more confident knowing I am not missing information because I had been drinking... all good feelings. Lots of good feeling ahead for us all I think.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Loamers and Moamers (G-man!!!),

So, hope everyone is doing well. I'm slowly coming out of Funk-Land. We had a great night last night. Went into town where there was an Arts Festival. Posted this in NN...

So last night, we went into the city for an Arts Festival. Yeah, I certainly spent some cash, bought MIL her Christmas present, as she's so difficult to buy for at last minute, but it was a truly lovely night. The weather was perfect, the company great, and just being in a beautiful city was perfect. My DH said to me as I was frantically taking pics of a city I've lived in for almost 50 years, "jvo, you act like you've never seen this or that before!" Nope, Mr. jvo, not in a way I could appreciate it like I do now.

Now, I did see some drunken people down near the river on their beautiful boats. But those people were young, in their early to mid twenties. Then we stopped in for some appetizers - beautiful restaurant. Lots of alcohol flowing. Beautiful plush seats, with people drinking their martinis real "pretty-like." But then I played the pretty-like thought out in my head and realized that it would end up really ugly for me. Something Byrdie said this morning resonated with me...

Moderation = Deprivation

We always equate being AF with deprivation, but when we stop and think about it, when we try to moderate an addiction, you're in the deprivation mode continuously. We need to continuously feed it and when we don't, we are depriving ourselves. I never thought of it that way. Now I will!!! And we don't have to blame ourselves for this anymore. I think NS said something about our genetics+environment can equal addiction if we're exposed to it. That's all it takes is exposure. Some people have the gene and some don't. Some people have the genes to be gorgeous, but that shouldn't stop the rest of us from being happy. We just mumble to ourselves, "bitch!" That makes us feel a bit better.

Ava, I WILL have 148 days when I go back to work. That's a lot of days. Gosh, I'm so glad you got laid! LOL!

Dot, hang in there. That's a tough thing to do, and I didn't know what Nar said, that that's one of the biggest stressors in life. I had no idea so I'm putting you on my prayer list. At the top.

Nar, LOL! Girl you make me laugh!!!! Your calculations...well, me and DH have been married since 1990 and had dated 9 years prior to that. Talk about a long-ass time. Well, my ass is much longer and wider now. Hope your BQ went well. And your night out with GF's. Let us know how you did. It's ok to feel a little out of sorts, as this will be new to us for a long, long time. We have to get used to it. We will.

Pav, I like that...ease into relaxing. Well, I guess I don't have to ease as much as you do. It comes naturally to this girl. I liked your three goals...perfect. OMG, what can I say about the "being wronged" fantasy, but yes, I had the same thing. And now I'm like, "wow, look at us. still going strong after all these years." But I still need to kick him in the ass from time to time. Like yesterday. DS got his license on Monday. Yesterday he and DH were pulling out of driveway (DS driving) and he pulled the front bumper off the car. OMG, it was like he totaled the SUV completely in DH's eyes. He screamed "OMG, it's gonna cost a couple thousand dollars!" I was livid with DH. DS was so upset and he made it thousand times worse because he loses it and doesn't think before he acts. Well, that upset me all day and I told DS that we have to find it in our hearts to forgive him even if he is a Jackass.

Frances, yes, coming out of my funk and so glad you joined us! Good luck at your church festivities today!

Moss, Giraffe, NS, Rox, SL, LB, Daisy, Patrice (hope you got better sleep last night), Jane, Eloise, have a super day. Acadia and Kailey, we miss you.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Eloise,
Trash your pm messages. I can't send any new ones.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS!!!!!!!

Congratulations Sister Loamer on 500 BIG ONES!!! So flippin proud of you!!!!!!!:l:h:yay::wd::applaud::banana:

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site



Think I've done it again, but hey, it's a huge thing NS!