Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Star, I am sorry for what you went though.
Keep on this AF site and keep posting. We are all in this together! I know you can do it, just keep coming back.
You have helped so many of us, now you can help yourself.
Hugs,

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you, Nar! You all so very sweet and thoughtful. One problem I have had is allowing time for myself. I put everyone else's needs before mine and neglect certain things I really need in order to keep myself thinking straight. I know I must put my sobriety above all else now. Thank you all for helping me

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Star sorry to hear about your relapse. Like Pav i keep thinking back to my nearly last time blind drunk. I was hearing voices, loud voices and I thought i would have to call an ambulance and go to the psych ward as well but I passed out. I remember waking the next day thinking WTF am i doing, thought it was a one off and kept drinking, not as much and then thought to myself I dont want to go through that again ever. Not my lowest point but another one to remember. I CANNOT drink and as Pav says its off the table for me now.

NS your words or wisdom are so true. I hated and loathed myself until i found the love and support on here from everyone who is going through the same struggles. What is the point i thought! The point is I am worth it, I have a horrible addiction but only I can change who and what i am with support. Today I am liking myself, emotionally I am all over the place trying to deal with life af but damn it feels good. I make it my mission daily to read and post and if i am having a bad day to post even more. This keeps the al beast at bay and my children keep me accountable. Yes we are all the same on MWO, we came here for a reason, to find who we are, to be af, to be happy, content and to stay alive till our "use by date".

Keep positive Star and stay here, we are a mad mad bunch of women with lots of love and compassion and you will find no judgement from us.

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you so much dear Ava! I know the love and support I am finding and will continue to find here at mwo will pull me through this horrible time. Right now I am feeling very low and can't see how I will get over this, but I do have faith that with hard work on my part and the help from everyone here, things will improve.
As the afternoon goes on, I feel more and more depressed about what happened, but I am taking it easy and staying out of everyone's way. As soon as I am emotionally able, I will do as NS suggested and do some journaling about all of this. Thanks again. Much love to all

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning in Aus land and cup of tea in hand and thank god i did something to fix my laptop so it works today. I think its use by date is nearly up and so now to start saving for another. The good thing is now i am not drinking i can save that money. Should be able to buy one tomorrow lol.

I read the thread Humble that you posted and my god it was such an eye opener. For me personally MODERATION is a load of crap (no offence to anyone that can) and shown in the posts. For the last 3 years i tried to moderate, worked a treat obviously!

Last night my neighbours played with their microphone and music again till 2am. Guess who got a kareoke machine? I just texted my daughter and said "makes me want to drink and pass out" but it doesnt, being tired can be fixed by a sleep, being hungover entails me drinking again to get rid of it.

Nar you are sounding positive girl and that is so good to see, keep going and hugs.

Two more sleeps till NYE and it is not stressing me as much as xmas did thinking of no AL. Well another cup of coffee and back to the marathon spring clean for me.

Hi Dream wherever you are and Pat come back and let us know how you are please.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, all:

Ava - I love your honesty - you crack me up, and give me stuff to think about at the same time.

Star - I used to beat myself up something awful, not only about drinking, but about everything - about every way in which I wasn't the perfect ________ (fill in the blank). A suggestion I got from a wise person (and I see NS gave a variation of this) is to talk to yourself like you would talk to your children (or one of us!). You wouldn't hate them if they made a mistake, or took a hard path in life. You would help them pick themselves up, heal, and learn how not to make that mistake again. Treat yourself with love and understanding - we are all human.

Take care, everyone. I am staying close to MWO during this season and will see you all frequently!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Starfish1;1604105 wrote: Thank you so much dear Ava! I know the love and support I am finding and will continue to find here at mwo will pull me through this horrible time. Right now I am feeling very low and can't see how I will get over this, but I do have faith that with hard work on my part and the help from everyone here, things will improve.
As the afternoon goes on, I feel more and more depressed about what happened, but I am taking it easy and staying out of everyone's way. As soon as I am emotionally able, I will do as NS suggested and do some journaling about all of this. Thanks again. Much love to all

Star we are definitely Ladies On A Mission though not sure i am a lady sometimes lol and i especially wasnt when i was drinking. The lows will go the longer you give up. I am grateful that my anxiety has lessened, my depression is better after starting to take my AD's again, the shakes are non existent, you name it, i had it and gone, gone gone. My gums used to be so swollen and sore and bleed but of course i had every excuse as to why, even thought a certain brand of wine had too many additives so changed brands.

I remember so many days after nights where i would want to crawl into a hole as i could not forget what i did and bits would come back that i did not even remember or others would say something about what happened and i could not remember. Give it a few days and you will start to feel better, just dont forget how low you were and how you never want to be there again. That thought seems to keep many of us sober.

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you pav and Ava! I will work on it. I am on antidepressants again too and I think if it weren't for that, I would feel even worse. I will get through this but I think I have finally learned my lesson. Not one. Not ever!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Star, maybe you should put that "not one, not ever" on your signature and the date just to remind you of what you are going through.

Boy am i procrastinating about cleaning today, much prefer to be on here but my daughter who i had an altercation with on boxing day is coming over and i want her to see what I have done to make changes to myself and my house so she realises that i am trying to change for the better.

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Cougars!

Just a quick fly by to share something No sugar posted in our toolbox awhile ago on understanding al addiction. Interesting reading if you've never come across this sort of info, or if you have.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ml#post1554027 (post # 299)

Take care of yourself Star. Good to see you back on track here. Hoping everyone's having a safe, sober and magical weekend.

P.S. Love the relapse thread. Thanks NS.

L8tr, Yo!

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1604051 wrote: For a little while, please just take our word for it that you are worth loving and caring for. Treat yourself like you would have treated one of your daughters when they were little and depended on you for everything. You are sick right now and need to heal - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. All of this will look different after you've been free of poison long enough and your head has cleared. Tell yourself the positive, affirming things you've told people on this board over and over. You are worthy of health and love and peace.

As much as possible, concentrate on the present and the future; what happened is over and the only way it can have served a good purpose is for it to be the springboard into your final AF life (just keep your document that tells the whole story for when you need it in the future).

Pretend you're talking to one of us when you talk to yourself, OK? We are all the same.

Love, NS

I agree Star. Please listen to this. :h

Beautiful post No sugar.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi ladies and G,
Doing well.. dh is doing better I guess...he offered to buy me wine at the store....he is still able to walk and feed himself....:bang

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks G! And yeah Dottie. I know what you mean about the DH! My husband is the one that actually sent me to the liquor store on Christmas Eve. I am not saying he forced me to drink the stuff but he sure made it a lot easier.
Ava! That's a great idea about changing my signature line. I am typing from my phone right now and it's too difficult to change my line using these small keys but tomorrow when I get back on my computer I will do it.

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Dottie, Star and y'all.

Thought you might enjoy this Ted talk from Glennon Melton. I reckon it's brilliant.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NHHPNMIK-fY[/video]]Lessons from the Mental Hospital: Glennon Doyle Melton at TEDxTraverseCity - YouTube

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Pretty LOAM's,
Just returned from a road trip to parents house. It's a five-hour drive, but I've been driving this for the past almost 30 years, I can do it with my eyes closed, but didn't think the other driver's on the road would appreciate that.

It was a nice visit. Just a lot of chit-chattin', eating, and relaxing. My Dad asked me if I was still not drinking, and I said "No. I won't poison my system anymore." He made a few comments about when we decide not to anymore, it's much easier. We only spoke briefly about this, as my sister who is also an alcoholic, my aunt also an alcoholic were also there, among a few drinkers that were there. So it wasn't like, "hey, let's all tell our stories about why we don't drink!." Well, we all know anyhow, that alcoholism runs in our family, but no one really was able to talk about it. There were lots of secrets, especially back in the day. I didn't have a hard time saying that I didn't drink anymore, even though a few people there hadn't known. Not shy about it, feeling a little liberated by it. I'm almost to a point where I think to myself, it really doesn't matter who knows I don't drink. If they love me, they'll be happy for me.

Lots of reading to do here! I'm glad you posted the relapse thread NS. Good one to copy and paste to my journal. I did read NiceLife's story. Having these stories at our fingertips is a great tool.

Star, I'm sorry you went through that blasted hell a few days ago, but I'm soooo glad you're here now. Like NS and Pav suggested, talk to yourself as you would your loved ones. You are a special child of God, and remember, He loves us no matter what mistakes we make. I won't get all spiritual on you...sorry slips out sometimes. But sweetie, we are here today, and we will be here tomorrow, and the day after and after and after.