Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kailey I understand your anxiety about the doctor. And not wanting to make the same mistakes. You know we all make mistakes in our lives. And have regrets. I am here to listen if you need a friend. And you do have a month before that drs. Visit. A month makes a big difference in how we feel.
Lifechange I am glad to see you back. This addiction is the pits. Please don't sto posting because you feel bad. That's when you need to post the most. And honestly that's why we are here. To help each other. And learn how the others deal with the tough stuff in their lives. I learn from each of you ladies, and when faces with a tough situation, I think about how you deal with things in your lives. It has helped me on numerous occasions. So please keep posting and don't give up.
J-vo I have been in your situation. Knowing when someone is sneaking. Yes our addictive behaviors make us VERY sensative to that behavior in others. I have never been wrong and I doubt you are either. It doesn't make it pleasant though, does it? And I have found being around people drinking a lot is irritating to me lately. I just think about how irritating I use to be. To watch people you care about destroy themselves with addiction is HARD, TOUGH, SUCKS, HURTS!! I know. And to just not be able to stop them by talking to them, offering them a hand, wishing, praying is all of the above. I understand. But I am so glad for you working and making your own life better. All we can really do in this situation is show how positive not drinking can be. That example really does have far reaching effects.
I have to get ready for work.
NS I plan to check out those links. Thanks for helping us so much.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Kailey, I can't really give too much advice but for me on day 20 it's putting one foot in front of the other.. I am one of those who has been trying to stop for years. This time I have been doing heaps of research, listening to the podcasts etc and like Lifechange says it is is daunting to know that this is a lifetime thing that requires vigilance...
But everyone here is having so much success and you can too
You too Lifechange !!

Hope everyone is having a good Mae
Xx
Pat

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good to see you, LC :l. I hope you stick around. No one expects you to be The Cheerleader but hopes that you'll be the real you. I'm glad you watched the video. The lifetime disease thing doesn't freak me out. If I don't do this one thing, I don't have active disease. It isn't "in remission" like a disease that might come back no matter what I do. It won't unless I choose to drink.

Kailey, you have a home at MWO and on this thread. Being "on a mission" doesn't mean there are no mistakes. Hopefully the support you'll receive will help you limit the drinking to last night. Let it go and get back to where you were.

Posting only when you're feeling good just doesn't work and there would be no point to any of this if that is all anyone did. However, getting used to posting regularly when you don't need help makes it easier and more natural to ask for help when you do. At least that is how it worked for me, Maybe if you'd been in the habit of checking in after work, Kailey, you would have done that last night and a response you got or even the effect of writing what you were considering would have helped you make a better choice.

Pav, I don't know about Soberistas. It now charges a fee and I think the situation at MWO indicates most people don't think this is worth $10/month.

It's great that you had that conversation with your friends last night. I talked to a MWO friend on the phone last night - verbalizing our stories can be such a relief. It's real and it happened but somehow speaking it aloud seems to make it less scary.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi LB, really enjoy your posts thanks
Also NS warm thanks to you for all the links, informing myself to the max about alcohol addiction is helping me hugely to apply the self care and reach out for help here and other places ..

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1672786 wrote: Maybe if you'd been in the habit of checking in after work, Kailey, you would have done that last night and a response you got or even the effect of writing what you were considering would have helped you make a better choice.

NS, you are 100% right. Checking in here not only in the morning (when I am always positive that things will go well) but in the evenings (when I struggle) will be the foundation of my plan to get and stay sober.

It may be a late checkin tonight, I have a conference on the other side of the state today, so many hours in the car and won't be home until late. That should help get me through today, anyway.

Okay, pity party is over! Im putting all my energy into not letting a slip happen again. My immediate goal is to use my appointment for bloodwork in a month as a motivator to do whatever I can to influence the results in a positive way.

Thanks, also, LB and Patrice. It feels good to know others have been there and found a way to get it right!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Great posts this morning! Welcome back LC. Glad you're posting Kailey. I'll reply more properly later. Just wanted to welcome back LC. See you girls in a bit.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Life, SO glad you are back! Hey, you know my first time at AA was in the year 2000. I have been trying to quit for years. It wasn't until I listened to Dr. Kelly on The Bubble Hour that it really clicked. I can't drink, it is not my fault but that is how my brain is.
A part of me will always think I can drink, and I have to somehow never give in to that. I find coming here very helpful. The other weekend I really thought I might drink with my friends so I posted here a few days before and really talked it out. By the time the get together happened I was able to say No.
I post here no matter what.
Good mood, bad mood, supportive, unsupportive, whatever. As long as we can help each other that is what makes a difference.

Kailey, same to you. So glad you are here. I know you can kick this thing. One day at a time, right! Eventually you will get there.

NS, I will join and pay that monthly fee. It is worth it. I tried before but couldn't figure it out. Hopefully I can figure it out this time.

Hope you feel even better tomorrow Jane. My hubby likes any sort of tool or gadget. He is a total engineer Mr. Fix it guy.

xo

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lifechange and Kailey, good to see you....staying accountable by posting and reading have been crucial for me..and Kailey, coming back no matter what....some day something might just 'click'!
We are having the best weather here so making the most of it....keeping up the exercise and feeling the first real peace in 2 years......time to smile again....

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

hello again Ladies,
such a lot of nice, thoughtful posts. I am relieved to have made the decision to join you all again and I am again hopeful after reading your words. It has been a very difficult day keeping my mind on the straight and narrow-- focussing on my purpose, reminding myself of what I promised and where I don't anymore want to be. It is in fact getting more and more difficult to come back each time I stray away. Each time I lie to myself with thoughts of keeping it under control. Each time I ignore new ways I'm learning to deal with life with my old ways.

NS, I understand what you're saying about this being a disease that isn't active as long doesn't take a drink. I guess what freaked me out is that no matter how long you don't drink, if for whatever reason you do pick up again you begin where you left off--basically. Or you come back to that point very quickly. And I guess after so many failed attempts I don't really know if I can stick with my plan. On the other hand, I know that when I do work hard and stick to it, I will feel more positive after just a few days. I will do as you suggested and post morning and evening and when I'm struggling. Thank you for posting all those links-- I read them all today plus...

Kailey, I look forward to hearing from you today after your road trip-- I was wondering, too, if it would be possible for you to break up the doctor's appts a bit? It does seem a bit overwhelming to have them all lined up like that-- :l to you-- I hope you'll also take NS's advice! It seems like we're in a similar boat right now.

LB, thank you. It means a lot to me to have your support. I know this is the place to let it all out, to ask for help-- and I'm finding that when I don't, when I feel ashamed or stupid there are usually already ulterior motives in my brain-- a set up. A feeling of, "what's the point?" This time I will work extra hard to try to be aware of how I'm feeling on a subtle physical level to see if it helps with clarity. And also just posting if I'm feeling confused without thinking so much about it.

Jane, your post came just at the right time. I have to hear these things over and over and over again and you write in such a clear, straightforward, easy to understand way that I can't help but get it! I am determined to have a Rambo like vigilance and I'm glad you reminded me that I need to have that the first 3 months. I don't think I've had the real determination it takes to quit since last September. Then I was so convinced and nothing could stop me-- and since then I think I've been comparing how I feel each time I quit to how I felt then-- dangerous. Of course it can never be the same thing twice, can it? That isn't part of the law of nature--So I think I have to accept things as they are NOW and get on with it.

Nar, I have been so happy to see you making such progress-- and as you said, coming here to work it all out ahead of time. I am definitely going to listen to some podcasts from Dr. Kelly-- the same Kelly Jane mentioned, right? I have read some articles on the bubble hour but not yet listened to a podcast.

Daisy, you too-- I am so happy of you and proud of you for doing the work and sticking with your plan. Changing what needs to be changed. I am also determined to exercise each and every day--even if it just means a brisk walk. I am usually a hard core exerciser and I think I've let myself down by saying, "oh, don't want to over train/hurt myself/etc.", but I would probably be smarter right now to do less more often.

J-vo and Patrice- hugshugshugshugs

Thank you all for welcoming me back to the Loamers. You are such a special group of Ladies-- you each crossed my mind more than once as I was meditating and had to practice accepting and then gently pushing you away. I even had images, though I only know what a couple of you look like. I have a great amount of love for you and am very grateful to know you.

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Here I am, checking in, sober as a judge! (Well, my dad was a judge and he definitely wasn't sober, but that's another story!)

Lots of driving today, but the meeting was worth it, so I didn't really mind. I appreciate the suggestions to space my medical appointments out. I am so guilty of either doing things 100% or not at all that I think slowing down would be a great strategy. I'll focus on the blood work for now, which I really would love to get out of the way.

I'm very happy to be on track again. Yesterday just seems like a little blip. A blip I won't do again!

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LC - yeah!!!! Glad I checked in today:l:l

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow. This thread is making a huge comeback and it feels awesome! So glad to hear from everyone. No matter where you are on this journey, how you feel at the moment (whether you're in cheerleading mode or in need of being cheered on, supported, encouraged) it can happen right here. When you go away, know always that you can come back without your tail between your legs, but your tail wagging and licking our faces, needing us.

So, since we're on the subject of posting when you're feeling like crap, here I go...I don't do well with change, no matter what kind of change it is. I guess my uneasiness comes when I have to hang out with family for an extended period of time. This week it was my parents/sister/BIL/Aunts/Uncles/cousins...In a week and half, it'll be John's family. To me, his family is a bit less stressful than mine. When his family does something stupid or says something I don't like, it's easier for me to dismiss, because we're not blood related. If my mother does something annoying, it makes me wanna scream, crawl under a rock and not come out. Deep breathing might work well in that situation.

And to me, I'm Faking it till I Make it. I'm not feeling it now. I'm not feeling all the good stuff of sober life. I'm on day 78, and to me, I feel like fuck it. I don't know why I feel that way, I just am. So what I"m gonna do after I post here, I'm going to listen to one of the bubble hour podcasts or finish the brain video with Elizabeth Vargas that I started last night. I'm going to push through this "blah" as it seems as though it's been more of a norm lately for me. I was wondering if it was all worth it today. I know it's worth it, but I'm not feeling the effects of that worthiness right now. I need to pick myself up, or let myself just ride through this wave of "blah."

So, LC, you talked about "tired of being that person who just can't get it right." Who the hell is right all the time anyhow? We don't have to worry about being right or wrong about anything right now. All we have to do is not drink. That's it. And post whether you feel like shit or are happy as shit. You also said you know you have the power within yourself, and you are right about that. I know that. Because we all have the power within ourselves. But we have to share that power with each other daily, and when we do that, we become a strong, powerful unit.

Pav, that's cool you spoke to your good friends about this. Good friends will love you and be so happy for you as you're making healthier choices for yourself.

Nar, how's the mini pad? Are you getting used to it? Yep, ate like I lived in Cowtown again today. As long as I'm working out, I'm not feeling as guilty, but I do need to slow up a bit. One thing I'm glad about is that I"m actually able to breath better through my workouts. Last week, I had to stop every 3-5 minutes, but I feel that I"m going much longer. Progress!

Kailey, hang1on to the Loamer's Lifeline. I felt as though I were running out of chances myself. I felt a dull ache in my liver. I was looking and feeling like shit all day everyday. (Hmm...good reminder as to why I quit this shit!) I think going to the doc is a great starting point. And if that's gonna keep you from drinking to get good results, then that's a great way to start.

Patrice, you're days are building. Keep taking baby steps. They say it's worth it and I'm believing them! I've been trying to stop for years too. Look at my start date on MWO. After starting here, I went to AA, then I tried baclofen (drug), then I tried all the supps, therapy, back and forth on MWO. It wasn't until October, 2013 that I finally realized there was no moderating, ever! So I've been trying to quit for a really long time, and I'll bet we've all had lots of quits. We're doing this, though, now and together. We've learned from our other falls, we are continuing to learn just like you are with bubble hour and other research. We've got to keep our minds fresh with repetition of knowledge and new knowledge. Yes, we have to beat it into our freaking heads, and that's ok. I want to be brainwashed in a way.

Roxy, Jane, NS, Daisy, SL, Giraffe, Ava (Happy 200!!!!), Eloise, LB, have a great night.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow. This thread is making a huge comeback and it feels awesome! So glad to hear from everyone. No matter where you are on this journey, how you feel at the moment (whether you're in cheerleading mode or in need of being cheered on, supported, encouraged) it can happen right here. When you go away, know always that you can come back without your tail between your legs, but your tail wagging and licking our faces, needing us.

So, since we're on the subject of posting when you're feeling like crap, here I go...I don't do well with change, no matter what kind of change it is. I guess my uneasiness comes when I have to hang out with family for an extended period of time. This week it was my parents/sister/BIL/Aunts/Uncles/cousins...In a week and half, it'll be John's family. To me, his family is a bit less stressful than mine. When his family does something stupid or says something I don't like, it's easier for me to dismiss, because we're not blood related. If my mother does something annoying, it makes me wanna scream, crawl under a rock and not come out. Deep breathing might work well in that situation.

And to me, I'm Faking it till I Make it. I'm not feeling it now. I'm not feeling all the good stuff of sober life. I'm on day 78, and to me, I feel like fuck it. I don't know why I feel that way, I just am. So what I"m gonna do after I post here, I'm going to listen to one of the bubble hour podcasts or finish the brain video with Elizabeth Vargas that I started last night. I'm going to push through this "blah" as it seems as though it's been more of a norm lately for me. I was wondering if it was all worth it today. I know it's worth it, but I'm not feeling the effects of that worthiness right now. I need to pick myself up, or let myself just ride through this wave of "blah."

So, LC, you talked about "tired of being that person who just can't get it right." Who the hell is right all the time anyhow? We don't have to worry about being right or wrong about anything right now. All we have to do is not drink. That's it. And post whether you feel like shit or are happy as shit. You also said you know you have the power within yourself, and you are right about that. I know that. Because we all have the power within ourselves. But we have to share that power with each other daily, and when we do that, we become a strong, powerful unit.

Pav, that's cool you spoke to your good friends about this. Good friends will love you and be so happy for you as you're making healthier choices for yourself.

Nar, how's the mini pad? Are you getting used to it? Yep, ate like I lived in Cowtown again today. As long as I'm working out, I'm not feeling as guilty, but I do need to slow up a bit. One thing I'm glad about is that I"m actually able to breath better through my workouts. Last week, I had to stop every 3-5 minutes, but I feel that I"m going much longer. Progress!

Kailey, hang1on to the Loamer's Lifeline. I felt as though I were running out of chances myself. I felt a dull ache in my liver. I was looking and feeling like shit all day everyday. (Hmm...good reminder as to why I quit this shit!) I think going to the doc is a great starting point. And if that's gonna keep you from drinking to get good results, then that's a great way to start.

Patrice, you're days are building. Keep taking baby steps. They say it's worth it and I'm believing them! I've been trying to stop for years too. Look at my start date on MWO. After starting here, I went to AA, then I tried baclofen (drug), then I tried all the supps, therapy, back and forth on MWO. It wasn't until October, 2013 that I finally realized there was no moderating, ever! So I've been trying to quit for a really long time, and I'll bet we've all had lots of quits. We're doing this, though, now and together. We've learned from our other falls, we are continuing to learn just like you are with bubble hour and other research. We've got to keep our minds fresh with repetition of knowledge and new knowledge. Yes, we have to beat it into our freaking heads, and that's ok. I want to be brainwashed in a way.

Roxy, Jane, NS, Daisy, SL, Giraffe, Ava (Happy 200!!!!), Eloise, LB, have a great night.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow. This thread is making a huge comeback and it feels awesome! So glad to hear from everyone. No matter where you are on this journey, how you feel at the moment (whether you're in cheerleading mode or in need of being cheered on, supported, encouraged) it can happen right here. When you go away, know always that you can come back without your tail between your legs, but your tail wagging and licking our faces, needing us.

So, since we're on the subject of posting when you're feeling like crap, here I go...I don't do well with change, no matter what kind of change it is. I guess my uneasiness comes when I have to hang out with family for an extended period of time. This week it was my parents/sister/BIL/Aunts/Uncles/cousins...In a week and half, it'll be John's family. To me, his family is a bit less stressful than mine. When his family does something stupid or says something I don't like, it's easier for me to dismiss, because we're not blood related. If my mother does something annoying, it makes me wanna scream, crawl under a rock and not come out. Deep breathing might work well in that situation.

And to me, I'm Faking it till I Make it. I'm not feeling it now. I'm not feeling all the good stuff of sober life. I'm on day 78, and to me, I feel like fuck it. I don't know why I feel that way, I just am. So what I"m gonna do after I post here, I'm going to listen to one of the bubble hour podcasts or finish the brain video with Elizabeth Vargas that I started last night. I'm going to push through this "blah" as it seems as though it's been more of a norm lately for me. I was wondering if it was all worth it today. I know it's worth it, but I'm not feeling the effects of that worthiness right now. I need to pick myself up, or let myself just ride through this wave of "blah."

So, LC, you talked about "tired of being that person who just can't get it right." Who the hell is right all the time anyhow? We don't have to worry about being right or wrong about anything right now. All we have to do is not drink. That's it. And post whether you feel like shit or are happy as shit. You also said you know you have the power within yourself, and you are right about that. I know that. Because we all have the power within ourselves. But we have to share that power with each other daily, and when we do that, we become a strong, powerful unit.

Pav, that's cool you spoke to your good friends about this. Good friends will love you and be so happy for you as you're making healthier choices for yourself.

Nar, how's the mini pad? Are you getting used to it? Yep, ate like I lived in Cowtown again today. As long as I'm working out, I'm not feeling as guilty, but I do need to slow up a bit. One thing I'm glad about is that I"m actually able to breath better through my workouts. Last week, I had to stop every 3-5 minutes, but I feel that I"m going much longer. Progress!

Kailey, hang1on to the Loamer's Lifeline. I felt as though I were running out of chances myself. I felt a dull ache in my liver. I was looking and feeling like shit all day everyday. (Hmm...good reminder as to why I quit this shit!) I think going to the doc is a great starting point. And if that's gonna keep you from drinking to get good results, then that's a great way to start.

Patrice, you're days are building. Keep taking baby steps. They say it's worth it and I'm believing them! I've been trying to stop for years too. Look at my start date on MWO. After starting here, I went to AA, then I tried baclofen (drug), then I tried all the supps, therapy, back and forth on MWO. It wasn't until October, 2013 that I finally realized there was no moderating, ever! So I've been trying to quit for a really long time, and I'll bet we've all had lots of quits. We're doing this, though, now and together. We've learned from our other falls, we are continuing to learn just like you are with bubble hour and other research. We've got to keep our minds fresh with repetition of knowledge and new knowledge. Yes, we have to beat it into our freaking heads, and that's ok. I want to be brainwashed in a way.

Roxy, Jane, NS, Daisy, SL, Giraffe, Ava (Happy 200!!!!), Eloise, LB, have a great night.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow. This thread is making a huge comeback and it feels awesome! So glad to hear from everyone. No matter where you are on this journey, how you feel at the moment (whether you're in cheerleading mode or in need of being cheered on, supported, encouraged) it can happen right here. When you go away, know always that you can come back without your tail between your legs, but your tail wagging and licking our faces, needing us.

So, since we're on the subject of posting when you're feeling like crap, here I go...I don't do well with change, no matter what kind of change it is. I guess my uneasiness comes when I have to hang out with family for an extended period of time. This week it was my parents/sister/BIL/Aunts/Uncles/cousins...In a week and half, it'll be John's family. To me, his family is a bit less stressful than mine. When his family does something stupid or says something I don't like, it's easier for me to dismiss, because we're not blood related. If my mother does something annoying, it makes me wanna scream, crawl under a rock and not come out. Deep breathing might work well in that situation.

And to me, I'm Faking it till I Make it. I'm not feeling it now. I'm not feeling all the good stuff of sober life. I'm on day 78, and to me, I feel like fuck it. I don't know why I feel that way, I just am. So what I"m gonna do after I post here, I'm going to listen to one of the bubble hour podcasts or finish the brain video with Elizabeth Vargas that I started last night. I'm going to push through this "blah" as it seems as though it's been more of a norm lately for me. I was wondering if it was all worth it today. I know it's worth it, but I'm not feeling the effects of that worthiness right now. I need to pick myself up, or let myself just ride through this wave of "blah."

So, LC, you talked about "tired of being that person who just can't get it right." Who the hell is right all the time anyhow? We don't have to worry about being right or wrong about anything right now. All we have to do is not drink. That's it. And post whether you feel like shit or are happy as shit. You also said you know you have the power within yourself, and you are right about that. I know that. Because we all have the power within ourselves. But we have to share that power with each other daily, and when we do that, we become a strong, powerful unit.

Pav, that's cool you spoke to your good friends about this. Good friends will love you and be so happy for you as you're making healthier choices for yourself.

Nar, how's the mini pad? Are you getting used to it? Yep, ate like I lived in Cowtown again today. As long as I'm working out, I'm not feeling as guilty, but I do need to slow up a bit. One thing I'm glad about is that I"m actually able to breath better through my workouts. Last week, I had to stop every 3-5 minutes, but I feel that I"m going much longer. Progress!

Kailey, hang1on to the Loamer's Lifeline. I felt as though I were running out of chances myself. I felt a dull ache in my liver. I was looking and feeling like shit all day everyday. (Hmm...good reminder as to why I quit this shit!) I think going to the doc is a great starting point. And if that's gonna keep you from drinking to get good results, then that's a great way to start.

Patrice, you're days are building. Keep taking baby steps. They say it's worth it and I'm believing them! I've been trying to stop for years too. Look at my start date on MWO. After starting here, I went to AA, then I tried baclofen (drug), then I tried all the supps, therapy, back and forth on MWO. It wasn't until October, 2013 that I finally realized there was no moderating, ever! So I've been trying to quit for a really long time, and I'll bet we've all had lots of quits. We're doing this, though, now and together. We've learned from our other falls, we are continuing to learn just like you are with bubble hour and other research. We've got to keep our minds fresh with repetition of knowledge and new knowledge. Yes, we have to beat it into our freaking heads, and that's ok. I want to be brainwashed in a way.

Roxy, Jane, NS, Daisy, SL, Giraffe, Ava (Happy 200!!!!), Eloise, LB, have a great night.