Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,

Hope it's ok I jump in here as well - so much positive energy, support and humor in this group.

Ava - big congrats on 200 days. Your comment about that being 400 bottles you didn't drink made for quite the visual.

j-vo and Frances - One thought re: the blahs that piggybacks on NS's post - I worked with a naturopath to get through my acute withdrawal, and he recommended that I do things to help "jump start" my brain and encourage it to produce an array of neurotransmitters that help us feel well, balanced, calm, motivated, happy, etc. His suggestions included:

- exercise
- laughing hard/a lot/frequently
- spicy foods
- dark chocolate in small quantities
- complete proteins and omega-3 fatty acids
- other pleasurable things that stimulate "feel good" reactions in the brain, such as massages, hugs, pets, doing simple nice things for other people, being in nature

These aren't magic bullets by any means, but I definitely find I feel better on days when I do 2 or more of these things, especially exercise.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning, sorry I don't have time to read or post too much.
Hope everyone is well...a quick glance I saw Frances!! Yay, come back girl.

Life, that podcast with Dr. Kelly changed my life. (haha, life!) Thank you NS!


Ava, YAY!!! 200!!! Awesome! Yahoo!

xo

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

My aunt has always been into knitting, crocheting, any crafts, scrapbooking...so I asked her to teach me how to croquet last night. I got the stitch mastered, but now have to figure out how to round the corner and onto the next row. She tried showing me, but I'm a lefty and it was hard for her, so I"m gonna go online and try to figure it out. I also started a hook rug of a smiley face that i"ll take to school in the fall. Easy things to do while listening to the bubble hour!

NS, thanks for that reply. Those are the kinds of visuals I need to understand the complex brain. I'm hanging on no matter what!

Wag, glad you joined here. Hope you continue to post with us as we're a strong bunch-o-ladies and like I said yesterday, whether you're in the cheering mode or in need of encouragement, you'll find it here. Thanks for those tips on jump starting our neurotransmitters! I know exercise is helping me. That's at the top of my list. I started taking Omega 3's. Dark chocolate...no problem!!!!!!!

Ava, I loved your post today in "My Story" (your story). We get all the good and the bad of life, and are strong enough to handle the hard parts, and can really enjoy the good parts. Yep. That's kinda cool.

Frances, hang in there. I hope that you get to take a break with DH. I've also gotten back into reading. That's something that I've always loved to do. Stimulates something in the brain!

Kailey, keep logging in here! Please.

Have a great days ladies!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

frances;1673157 wrote: Hi all - I've stopped in here a couple of times before and everyone was so welcoming and then I didn't post anymore. Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed with keeping up and responding to everything like so many of you do.

wagmore;1673184 wrote:

Hope it's ok I jump in here as well - so much positive energy, support and humor in this group.

Wagmore and Frances,

It is so great to see you here! I think the more people who are on a mission here, the greater the odds of success for each of us. Social contagion is a real thing - so if you hand around in real life or cyberspace with people who are living the way you want to live, the more likely it is that you will succeed and pass on your success to others. If each win is a group win, the more people who are here, the more victories for everyone.

I hope you guys (and any lurkers) don't feel reluctant to post because you feel overwhelmed needing to respond to everyone. You don't have to do that. I usually use that multiquote button in the lower right as I read and then when I finally hit Reply, the posts I want to respond to are there. Some I edit and leave in parts (as above) but often I just delete them after being reminded of what I wanted to say.

I totally agree with you, Wag, that these are elements of good living:

- exercise
- laughing hard/a lot/frequently
- spicy foods
- dark chocolate in small quantities
- complete proteins and omega-3 fatty acids
- other pleasurable things that stimulate "feel good" reactions in the brain, such as massages, hugs, pets, doing simple nice things for other people, being in nature

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

So just on my second day and I'm having a terrible "witching hour". I went running which helped-- I feel this urge to drink as much as I can before my BF gets home in an hour and a half. Right now it feels like I want to do it because I'm not allowed to. I don't WANT to-- that I know. So Roxy, it helped to read your post about it being the al-- the "voice", not me. I can't hear enough of what works for others--because my brain is the master of conveniently forgetting. Wag, thanks for reposting that list for the jumpstart. My plan now is to cook some spicy food and watch a comedy. And then keep reading here. Jane, I was reading your thread about what to do instead of drink and it's awesome. Thank you for taking the time to do that. J-vo, this morning when I was listening to the Bubble Hour I was walking around the flat with the laptop, brushing my teeth, doing the dishes, etc. I was thinking I need to have a hobby where I sit still for hours at a time and listen to podcasts.
Off to cook--see you all in a bit.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LC, you can do this! Keep distracting yourself. This is what we have to do in the very beginning, so you're right on track. Can you brush your teeth, do the dishes, and listen to the bubble hour while standing on one foot? LOL. Keep going girl.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

at work, but saw this and thought of you all

How I Stay Stopped?|?Jowita Bydlowska

200 - very well done Ava!

Will check back and read the rest later:l

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Omw Jane - one look at that hunk and I've forgotten what it was I wanted to say!!! And on the beach, in summer, mmmmhhhh.


Someone mentioned a website on the "Addictive Brain" - I cannot seem to find the site. Could you please give the link again?

Thank you and a lovely evening to all.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane, I was just skimming through here and saw your picture. WHOA!!

I am going to get 200 days for sure!! It is worth it

Pool Boy beats AL any day!

[frances]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Now if that isn't incentive to get to 200 days I don't know what is! :H

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hunk O'rama for Ava's 200 days. She did earn him fair and square!!
J-vo, I brushed my teeth, did the dishes and hopped on one leg while listening to the Bubble Hour and it did the trick! That and the SPICY food.

Giraffe, this might be the one you mean The Craving Brain: The Neuroscience Of Uncontrollable Urges | The Kavli Foundation posted by NS a day or two ago. I found it very interesting and am in awe of Nora Volkow who is an amazing woman and one of the leaders in researching the effects of drugs in the brain.

SL, thanks for that link-- it looks to be a good book. I just ordered, "Lit".

I ended up watching the Family Stone which is a silly laugh out loud and a tear-jerker at the same time. I love Dianne Keaton. I think I'll watch one more before bed.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi loamers, thanks so much for the 200 days congrats, i am still thinking of those 400 bottles (402 if i was drinking today) and i am thinking its more than one of my old bottleshop stocks. i think i will go and take a picture on the weekend to remind me of what i gave up, for the better of course.

NS, one day at a time, never forget that saying. Trudge along and along and dont give in. You dont give into the children if they want something you dont want them to have so dont give into al. Think of al as a spoilt toddler wanting attention and you not giving in for "dear life". You are sounding so positive. I recommend watching "mom" it is a great sitcom about an alky mum and her mum. I watched the 22 eps in oh about two days.

Wag and Frances hello hello hello. It takes awhile to get to know these "nutters" but well worth it. We are a good bunch of nutters especially the Aussie ones, well the one, well me!

Jane that pool boy is in my bed right now, its way too cold to have him outside and working when he can be put to better use in my bed for a few months.

Jvo crotcheting is pretty technical. i used to crotchet but stopped and now knit. maybe try knitting as it doesnt go "around" lol. maybe we can all skype and i can give knitting lessons on a weekend. I could be the next martha stewart (?) of knitting. not bloody likely!

Well thursday here and a busy day at work, still wanting to kill a co worker but i dont fancy jail for some reason. he is just so bloody rude to patients and my village idiot of a boss says nothing. Going to the mans after work so that will be nice. This man thing is scary shit, not sure i am liking giving a part of me to someone else. not sure i am ready but one day at a time and i do like the company of a grown up.

Take care and have a great one ladies, as you know i would not be here today without you guys.
xxxx

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo;1673040 wrote:
So, since we're on the subject of posting when you're feeling like crap, here I go...I don't do well with change, no matter what kind of change it is....And to me, I'm Faking it till I Make it. I'm not feeling it now. I'm not feeling all the good stuff of sober life. I'm on day 78, and to me, I feel like fuck it. I don't know why I feel that way, I just am. ...I'm going to push through this "blah" as it seems as though it's been more of a norm lately for me. I was wondering if it was all worth it today. I know it's worth it, but I'm not feeling the effects of that worthiness right now. I need to pick myself up, or let myself just ride through this wave of "blah." ]

Hey, J. I'm late in writing about this but I've been in Internet Hell the last day or so (I don't even know how the post to Frances and Wags got through the muck ). We'll see if this gets out. (Maybe you don't even feel this way anymore, which would be great.)

When I read this, I thought about how AL masked everything for us --- it dulled the highs and the lows. We had the regrets and all that from drinking but in terms of experiencing normal human sadness and happiness, I at least, really didn't. My attention was distracted by figuring out all the logistics around daily drinking. I didn't have enough time left over to feel much or even let myself think too deeply. And if I did feel anything uncomfortable, I knew just how to take care of that.

Maybe sometimes the blahs have nothing to do with the fact that you used to drink or that you're not drinking now. Maybe this is one of the uncomfortable (but normal) moods you used to avoid by drinking. Maybe this is the stress of dealing with family issues plus hormonal issues plus it is hot and muggy out plus you've gone from your busy structured working days to vacation plus... plus... plus!

I guess what I'm trying to get around to is that you're not doing anything wrong just because you're not feeling all zippity doo dah about your 78 AF days. Maybe this is totally unrelated to drinking or not drinking. The one thing I think, though, is that if you were to say F-It and drink, you would feel much, much worse than you did when you wrote this post.

I was thinking that about you, too, LC, when you were struggling with the witching hours today. I know that feels awful but giving in and drinking after you've found the courage to come back (where you belong :l) and made the commitment to try again would be much worse than the discomfort of working your way through a craving. That can even end up giving you some pride.

Because of my internet mess, I've had a day that included all the tension and crying and F-bombs that only the cable guy can elicit :upset:. I HATE feeling the way I've felt all day. I don't think I've been this frustrated with something I can't control since I quit drinking. And guess what? All my temper tantrums didn't kill me - you really can survive repeatedly punching the same information into a phone, repeatedly being hung up on, having assurances not happen (I'm sure you've all been there) -- drug-free .

[MossRose]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava - big hugs and congrats on 200 days.

J-vo - HA! Another convert. I'm a fiber addict, and once you start, well, all that money you saved from not drinking will start going towards beautiful yarn. Just saying...

I'm a knitter, crocheter, spinner and weaver. There's nothing about fiber that I don't love. Something so tactile and relaxing about crocheting and knitting. It's like meditation to me. It helps when I'm feeling down and blah. I can't recommend it enough.

NS - so sorry you had a bad day. How frustrating!! Thanks for reaching out. Sorry I spilled my guts on that email. Just lots going on these days. And then I'm reminded that I have YOU as a friend. Thank God!! I am one lucky woman.

Hope everyone else is doing well. I've been quite busy lately and haven't had time to check in. Well, that's an excuse. But, I am well, sober, and engaged in life. Just struggling with a few troubles. But also grateful for many blessings.

love to all of you. xx, MR

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Everyone:

I missed checking in yesterday. I posted in the Newbies Nest, had trouble, and tried to come here but the site was taking FOR-EV-ER, so I bagged it and went to sleep.

Let me say WELCOME BACK LC!! I don?t know if you were following along while you were gone, but every once in a while I ended a post asking about you. You were one of the first people who welcomed me in the nest, and then welcomed me back after my 8 day attempt at moderating that ended in the Thanksgiving Massacre. I hope you do continue to post, good or bad day, happy or sad. We?re in this together, and as Jane said, a victory for one of us is a victory for us all. Stay close, Squirrel ☺ ! FYI, I download the podcasts on my phone and listen to them when hiking up steep hills. Exercise, meditation AND information all in one.

J-Vo ? Good for you for posting when you feel bad. Remember that our neurons can take a long time to heal, so you will actually WILL feel flat. I recommend the Bubble Hour on PAWS if you haven?t listened to it yet. Good for you for exercising anyway. My mom can drive me CRAZY, but I try to remember that I am not 16 (even though I can act like it in a heartbeat when she is around), and I can?t control what she thinks and does. It really does help.

Patrice ? One thing at a time. You are racking up the days ? maybe your elevator is finally at the ground floor??

Rox ? Your idea of looking at the situation from different angles is spot on. Poetic and very true.

Ava ? I congratulated you on another thread, but Fucking Yahoo, sister! 200 days is such a giant number, and you just seem to be getting stronger and stronger. I love hearing about your conversations with your kids ? you are such a great mom.

Hi, Kailey ? Glad you?re back, too. I wasn?t a wine drinker, so for me it would be bottles of vodka, beer, or whatever? Keep posting, too, especially during that witching hour.

Hi, Wag ? Great to have you here, the more the merrier. I love your list. When I was talking to my counselor about the quick relief I got from alcohol when anxious, she asked me what else made me feel that way. I thought about it and recalled that a hug from my husband, and exercise have the same effect. Therefore, those are necessary things. Thanks for the reminder about the hugs? Exercise is a MUST for me.

Nar ? The Bubble Hour, and John Kelly, have been very helpful to me, too. Hope that mini pad is treating you right.

Frances ? Hang tough. If you haven?t listened to that podcast, I suggest you do. It talks a lot about the blahs. I had them bad for a while ? I feel like I am coming out of it somewhat. What I have read, 7 ? 10 months can be expected. Good for you for posting here instead of drinking. Keep that up!
SL ? Thanks for the link. I?m going to check it out after I am done posting here. Good to see you. Hope all is well with you. What are the girls up to for the summer?

Jane ? Now THAT?s a sufficient pool boy for the Loamer retirement home. We might need a few of them? Love your new avatar, BTW.

Giraffe ? How are you? I love it when I see your long neck sticking in here.

Mossy ? Keep posting ? those who pull away can fall down that rabbit hole pretty quickly. I hope you are ok and your family is ok.

I am doing fine - still very busy with the end of work and planning a family reunion for later in the month. I like being busy, but it does keep me from hanging here much, which I also like.

So happy to see so many posts and to see you all posting. We can't always keep up with each one, but we're here for each other.

xo
Pav