Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'm breaking my post into two just in case someone has ADD and thinks, "shit, she posted to damn much for me to read it all!" So here's another, different post! Hehe. Sorry.

No need to reinvent the wheel here at MWO. There are so many helpful posts, resources with loads of information to keep us busy everyday. We must come here everyday. This is like our recovery supplement for the day. Get your daily dose. And sometimes we need a little extra. So take what you need. We can't OD on loving and caring people.

Star, wanted to say before my ADD kicked in, that you asked us not to risk it. YOU don't risk it. You know now what you never want to happen again. Ever. Not one, not ever.:l

Kradle, thank you! You know, when people say nice things about me, I just think, "that must be a typo. I'm sure she meant to type NS's name instead." Well, that's part of the alkie's brain. I need to give myself some TLC, as we all do. And I hope you're doing better. I haven't had the chance to read about your emotional situation in the One Step Thread, but my butt is here all night and I'll get there for sure. :h

Humble one, thank you for that repost. Wow, see how lucky we are to have such great resources! You're sounding quite strong, pretty lady.

Eloise, I have so many memoirs and recovery books. If you ever need any, I'd be happy to share. The Post Office is only a half mile down the road! I think that's a great thing to always have on hand. I'm always reading a recovery book. It keeps my head in the right place.

Pav, I liked your 'pink cloud." I've read that before and that's going into my archives. Also, when you said about "a relapse is conceived at 'why not just one?'" Or "I think I can have just one." Take it off the freakin' table!!!!!!!!! OHHH! Loved this..

.We need to live our days with the intention of sobriety. Not just "hope" it. We have to make it work.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

For the ADHDr's,

Ava, your brother had AL sickness. What made him do those bad things was not the real "him." It was the poison. I know I hate the thoughts of all the things I did when trashed. Some Al, especially vodka, made me mean. I know firsthand, what that can do, as most of us can probably identify with. I hope you've made peace with his memory and who he was without AL. Forgiveness relieves so much pain. And glad SIL isn't staying with you. Not that you would drink, but just better that way. I know I'm protecting my quit with all I've got this time. And thanks to all the other fails I've had, it makes it easier. I have a lot of history of AL fu**-ups and so many memories to choose from when I get that AL monster knocking on my door.

Dottie, G-man (thanks for the links!), Nar (sounding pretty), SL (know you're away), and Patrice (looking forward to your posts when you come back), have a good night!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:thanks:NS,
Thank you for the link to that thread. I'm going to copy and paste into my journal. Your words to Star were, as always, so eloquently written with lots of kindness and most important, direction. A direction in which to take, things to think about. That's what we need to do. Not just give that TLC, but think about how we can get to the next level emotionally, spiritually, physically. Yep. Thank you, Dear NS.:yougo::applaud:

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:applaud::yougo::wootottie Belle,
Congratulations on your 120 days! That's awesome!!!!!!!!!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Guitarista;1604165 wrote:
Just a quick fly by to share something No sugar posted in our toolbox awhile ago on understanding al addiction. Interesting reading if you've never come across this sort of info, or if you have.
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...ml#post1554027

P.S. Love the relapse thread. Thanks NS.

L8tr, Yo!

Hi, Mr. G.

For some reason I can't find that post in the Toolbox (the page numbers change depending on how many posts per page you have set). Here is the website for anyone who is interested:
Understanding Alcohol Addiction

I'm glad you like the relapse thread. I think it should be mandatory reading for anyone who is thinking about taking that first drink! Like j-vo was saying, we don't need to be reinventing the wheel here. We just need to open our hearts and minds and take in what is being freely offered by folks who have been there and want to spare us the pain.

It is hard for me to imagine that anyone with some amount of time AF could read those posts and still think they could control their drinking. We're all individuals but addictions have some features that are the same in just about everyone.

You didn't tell us you were wobbly last week, Mr. G.! Don't be a tough guy if it comes up again, ok? This is too risky of a business.

:l NS

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Dottie, way to go! Your emoticon made me laugh! I guess you and star have some of the same 'crap' going on with your hubbies. That sucks (because you really can't kill them).
J-Vo, sounds like a pretty good chat you had with your family. Wow, there is a lot of history there with AL. I am sure you can learn from by looking at what goes on with some of your family.
Avail- thanks for the well wishes, I hope things go well with your daughter. All you can do is your best right!?
Pav, love reading your posts, you have some great info. Along with NS and everyone else.
G- thanks for the Ted link, I am going to watch that now.

Its a sober night for me here in Calgary. F'n freezing out though, -18C. Welcome to Hell!

Hugs,

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Mr. G - you slayed me with that TED talk. I reckon it is brilliant, too. Did it ever hit a chord with me. I'm a sniveling mess over here. I am SO sensitive and have struggled my whole life not to be - it is those feelings I was successful at hiding with alcohol and that I have to sit with now. I will respond to everyone later - for now I have to collect myself and HIGHLY recommend that talk.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Eloise, I have so many memoirs and recovery books. If you ever need any, I'd be happy to share. The Post Office is only a half mile down the road! I think that's a great thing to always have on hand. I'm always reading a recovery book. It keeps my head in the right
[/COLOR wrote: [/INDENT]

Thank you, but I live in Europe. Wouldn't mind if you tell me the titles though! I will look for electronic versions on amazon!!

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Didn't sleep we'll at all last night.
Off to gym now. Very early Sunday morning.
I must be very careful today... Pms & little sleep is not a good combination.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow JVO 5 posts i'm impressed lol. Glad you are back and caught us up to date and you are up to date. Always something new to read on here from us gasbags or is that just me?

I was angry for years and really in the past year i have forgiven him, i think i was mad at him that al tore us apart as we were very close when younger but then he found al and it took hold of his life, like it had to mine. I love him as i always did and no i am not angry, i am sad that he did not accept any help and just kept killing himself with the bottle.

My daughter and husband came over today with their new pup, i have animals as grandchildren atm which is fine by me. I openly told her i was an alcoholic and that felt good, she did not comment either way. I told her my SIL was visiting and she asked what i was going to do. I said if she is insistent that i have just one drink then i will make an excuse not to go. I think she was proud of me for saying that. As she said "mum you have done 29 days why blow it now". Truer words have never been spoken.

Nar i am afraid to say that -18 you can shove that one, gees i would hibernate for winter for sure.

Dot, after all this time does not hubs finally realise that you are NOT drinking. You are a good woman for staying out of jail, keep up the good work on that one! Maybe you should have bought the bottle and hit him over the head with it, hold that thought also.

El day 10 good woman, keep going. Oh PMS and overtired, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde time i always find. I am sleeping 6 hours and that is it but it is the best 6 hours sleep. My plan is to get to a good 8 hours but that will come when the poison leaves my body. I had great plans of a sleep in with my time off but nope not happening. It will the night before i have to go back to work.

Today i unvelcroed my butt and started the never ending spring clean and then my daughters arrived so that was that. Both girls are impressed in what i am doing. I mentioned that i wanted to start knitting, clean the spare room, do the terrarium that has nothing in it, and they laughed. Laughed that i had so much more motivation, laughed that i was happier, laughed that i was actually participating in family conversations without a wine in my hand. I did feel an urge to have a glass (none in the house) as that is what i was used to doing when they visited but it passed and we had a coffee. I am really starting to love this af life and so is my family. I cannot ask for more than that.

Time for a cup of tea and up to series 4 of Dexter and remembering every single damn word and the storyline. Wow what an interesting concept watching something from start to finish and remembering it.

Mr G, you are so right, life is "magical" for me. I wish i could have a genie though to finish cleaning sigh.

Take care all and be strong. Hugs xx

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Dear Ladies and G-

I have just a second to post right now, but I just want to let you all know that your kind words helped me make it through a very rough and sleepless night last night. Through all the shame, guilt, and remorse that kept me awake, I tried to remember that you all advised me to be gentle and kind to myself. As you know, it is not easy, but just to realize that I should try to do that is at least a distraction from all of the negative thoughts I am having.
Physically, I am feeling better today and will try to get back into a routine, of sorts.
I will post again when I have more time, but just want to thank you all again. I hope to help you all more when I get better.
Not one, not ever!
xoxo Star

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Star, it is time for you to be a taker for a little while :l. It's a hard role to play when you haven't had practice but you'll be surprised at how good it can feel - much like the relief of no longer trying to appear perfect.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Loams,

So much going on.

J-vo, thanks for the long and multiple posts. I benefit from every one.

Ava, stay strong when your SIL comes around. One of mine used to be my favorite drinking buddy. Man, we could get hammered. No more! So sorry about your dear brother and the toll that has taken on you and your family. Prayers headed your way. I too was the functioning drinker; in fact, most of us were in the family. Took after our Dad. That made it easy for me to justify ruining my life since there were always people worse off than I was. Haha, about the 'ladies' designation, when my son was just a toddler, he used to adamantly correct offenders who would call me a lady. He'd say sternly, "She's NOT a lady, she's a woman." To him, ladies wore make up, dresses, and high heels, not me by a long shot. How cute he was.

NS thanks for the link to the relapse thread. It scared me. Enough to want stay sober for now and forever if I have my way.

Star, Narilly and all, I just imagine the gag reflex I would get when trying to drink fast to get drunk before husband came home. I imagine the crossed eyes, the stumbling, the bruises, the drunk texting, the whole terrible ball of crap. Everyday I imagine it. Not that I dwell on it, just let it flash in front of me long enough to firm my resolve, then move on to pleasant sober thoughts.

Pav, I think a lot of us are perfectionists and beat ourselves up over not only drinking but everything else we think we haven't nailed. I have long ago forgiven others, and now it's time that I forgive myself.

G, thanks for the link, will check it out later. NS, thank you so much for all your encouragingly wise posts.

Star and Dottie, your husbands sound like mine used to be. I just keep pounding it into the thin air if need be how I don't drink, that I'm not a drinker. Now he never suggests we have one with dinner or that I buy some, for anyone, let alone me, thank God.

Star, it's great that you made it through The night. Everyone is right here, we do care. Lots of xo and support in these first few rough days.

I need to clean my closet, which I think I mentioned days ago. Some things never change.

Guess what? I'll have 60 days on January 1! Something to celebrate.

[DreamThinkDo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Loams - brilliant, Humble. I always think of this thread as the Missionary Ladies, now there's something better to call you!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

HumbleRider;1604556 wrote:

NS thanks for the link to the relapse thread. It scared me. Enough to want stay sober for now and forever if I have my way.

Good morning, HR. You can have your way. In fact, last night I realized that it is our responsibility.

There has been a discussion of relapse on the 100 day thread. It occurred to me as I was reading those posts that with what I have learned here, if I choose to drink (and therefore relapse :upset, I will have made an informed choice to do so.

Previously, I did not let myself learn about addiction because I didn't want to face the truth. I can no longer hide behind deliberate ignorance and act like I don't know what is likely to happen to me if I drink.

So, I plan to do what it takes so that I never make the wrong choice. It is a bit daunting to know I have that power but how great to feel in control again.