Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

available;1674178 wrote:
Mum is booking flights for me to go to her place for four days at the end of July. I am pretty excited to be going and she wants it longer but i have to work so not to be. Funny how i was dreading the Thailand holiday with "dragon lady" and now i am excited to see her. Not even a thought of drinking or how i will not drink. I dont drink now so the option is not there. Take al out of the equation and i realise that my relationships with family are so much better. There are no positives to go back to drinking that i can think of.

That's great that your relationship with your mom has improved so much and that you're feeling so positive about your upcoming visit.

Your last sentence is powerful and sums it all up. I think this - that there are no positives to go back to - is key to keep remembering. When temptations pop up, they are often through a guise of something positive, some "benefit" we'll get from drinking. This is a wolf in sheep's clothing, and we must see it as such.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kailey;1674351 wrote: Good morning. My mind is in the right place this morning, but it usually is when I first wake up. I have only one plan this weekend - I won't drink. Easier said than done at this point in my recovery. A trigger I need to really be prepared for is spending the weekend watching my husband drink. We have such a long standing history of spending our weekends together gardening, barbecuing, and just generally relaxing, always with plenty of wine for me, rum for my husband.

He's supportive when I say I won't be drinking, but of course he knows I say that a lot and it doesn't happen, so it's really up to me today to make sure I make it happen. I'm really getting tired of spending so much time in the early days of sobriety, and I know there is only one way to get farther down the recovery road...put the time in, and don't take any steps backwards!

Thank you for all who are living examples of how it can be done!

Keep that mindset Kailey, and check in here if need be - we'll help you stay strong so you can accomplish your weekend plan of not drinking.

The first/early days of sobriety are hard for sure. I think of it kinda like trying to change the course of a big ship that has been moving in one direction for a long time. Turning that ship, often in a complete 180, takes a lot of leverage, energy, etc to overcome the inertia. Then, getting new momentum in the new direction also takes time and can feel sluggish at first.

MWO can helps us all to have bigger rudders and more powerful engines (see NS's posts about recovery density) so we can each chart a new life course, successfully make the necessary turns, and gain/maintain momentum in our new directions.

It does eventually get easier. Then we just have to watch out for icebergs and rogue waves that can knock us off course, and we have to resist the siren call of tropical ports that look attractive from a distance but are really mirages.

Stay strong, and keep us posted!

[Ginger999]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Busy day here for me so I just want to say something real quick to Wag.... Wag, every time I see your avatar, I just want to kiss it right on the nose! I love dogs. I know, nothing profound....just wanted you to know that your avatar makes me happy.

Off to spend time with great-nephew and then my elderly auntie. Hope all of you amazing women have a great AF day.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

It does get easier if you can just hang in there through the rough beginnings, Kailey. And then you'll never have to do this again. After it is easier, it is just plain easy. Finally it becomes a non-issue. You'll become someone who doesn't drink. That's what I was for the majority of my life (if you include childhood ) and it is great to be that person again.

Be on here as much as you need to this weekend! It won't be that way forever.

Happy longest day to those in the north half! You southerners can rejoice that after today, they start getting longer .

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi you lovely Ladies,
I am a bit late checking in today, due to anniversary obligations and such..
Also on the 21st of June, the Summer Solstice, we always have F?te de la Music-- all over the city, on every corner, people are playing music-- all types, every style. It's such a fun festival--though because we are having quite shitty weather, we've decided to come in and watch SOCCER. Ughhhhhh.... I do love it at the end when they rip off their shirts-Ok. Some of the games are pretty fun to watch. Tonight Germany is playing, another reason we have to stay in-- because we are always cheering for the opposing team.... could be cause for death if done in public.

Ginger, so good to have you here. I was away for awhile, trying to figure out things on my own. But I am so happy to be back with this wonderful, supportive group of girls.

Wag, love your sailing ship analogy. It is spot on. You have a way with metaphors, you do. I appreciate it very much.:h

SL, It's so nice to see you-- What's with the new bed? Did you treat yourself to something special?

Kailey, so good to see you checking in-- and talking about your worries. It's difficult when the one we are living with continues to drink, especially when a large part of our relationship has been based on drinking. My BF and I loved drinking together and I have been so afraid the whole time that if I didn't drink, we wouldn't have anything together. Well, ends up I got so crazy that the LAST thing he would do now is drink with me. I love what Wag wrote about changing direction.

Pav, LB, Pat, Nar, Ava, NS, :l:l

NS, I watched that Louis CK youtube thingy you posted and loved it-- the problem is, like I said, I ended up watching about 3-4 hours of stand up comedy, old SNL, interviews,
etc. Though it fit in well with the laughing out loud recommendations.

Eddie Murphy doing James Brown--Completely silly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAJnpaFRrlw[/video]]James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub Party - Saturday Night Live - YouTube

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kailey;1674351 wrote: I'm really getting tired of spending so much time in the early days of sobriety, and I know there is only one way to get farther down the recovery road...put the time in, and don't take any steps backwards!

Hi, again. I had another thought about this while I took a shower. For all of us who have made our way to MWO (including lurkers), the Carefree Drinking Ship has definitely sailed (thanks, Wag!)... We can't unlearn what we now know about ourselves and our relationship with alcohol. So if you give up this quit, you'll be back to MWO (or another form of treatment). It might not be the next day or week or month or even next year. It will depend on how long you can stand being torn apart by the internal conflict of not aligning your life with what you now know has to be done. Denial no longer works. You can't go back to the days of thinking you're a normal drinker or one that has too much once in awhile. You know the truth. Whether you've been AF for a day a week or almost 17 months , if you drink, it won't be in innocence, and you'll at some point be back to go through the worst part all over again. It's so much easier to just be done with it.

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1674397 wrote: It's so much easier to just be done with it.

Love this!

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Perfectly said, NS-- I love it, too..

What are you all up to this afternoon/evening?

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS - so true!

NoSugar;1674397 wrote: It's so much easier to just be done with it.

Had some mind games last night - Friday, both girls out, great day with eldest - why not celebrate - took a little while to work it thru in my brain - would really like to just be done with it...
LC - bed was a wee while ago, pondered on here and the Loamers talked me into it - and Nar, well with her office being the bed in a prior life:H has a wee fixation with my bed!
Just jesting Nar - thinking of buying the wood bit to go with it - I only have two bedside chests (keep my knickers etc in the "spare" one) - so thinking of getting some grown up furniture:H
Taking Daughter 1 to same place as I did for mother daughter day when the other was away - think I may get another print for my four month celebration - much better than drinking don't ya think:H Do love these new excuses to celebrate and the new way of celebrating so great!!
Will continue to lurk dear NS and pop in from day to day to say Hi - keep on marching!!

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Pav! and thanks for the reminder!!

Yeah - Day 70 Narilly!!!!! Yahoo!!:goodjob:

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

me again - just saw Daisy has 40 - just peachy my dear! I know how hard you have fought for this - well we have fought many times togther have we not :l:l - so I will have ice cream tonight for you!:goodjob:

Then its the end of icecream - diet will start....sounds like to old days of stopping drinking :H:H

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ginger999;1674362 wrote: Busy day here for me so I just want to say something real quick to Wag.... Wag, every time I see your avatar, I just want to kiss it right on the nose! I love dogs. I know, nothing profound....just wanted you to know that your avatar makes me happy.

Off to spend time with great-nephew and then my elderly auntie. Hope all of you amazing women have a great AF day.

Thanks Ginger It makes me happy too!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1674397 wrote: It's so much easier to just be done with it.
Yes, infinitely easier. It kind of reminds me of that quote or bumper sticker from people who love golfing: A bad day golfing is better than a good day at work. What I've decided is that a bad/hard/challenging day AF is better than any day drinking, trying to moderate, contemplating whether it's ok to have "just one" drink, etc. etc. etc. Whew! Those latter days are way more exhausting than just being DONE WITH IT.

scottish lass;1674413 wrote: ...why not celebrate...

Yes, why not celebrate? This comment really made me stop and ponder...

I think we cannot view being AF as not getting to celebrate (or other deprivation). Instead, it's just a matter of re-thinking what celebrating means or looks like. For many people, celebrating = drinking, or at least doing something where alcohol is part of the picture. This is the message promoted daily in ads, by our friends, etc. Why not celebrate by dancing, singing, treating ourselves to dessert or a massage or a hot tub soak. I sometimes celebrate by doing something nice for someone else, and it always feels good. Celebrating can come from within, alcohol not required. Easier said than done sometimes, but I believe this is a muscle or habit we can practice and develop.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Sorry for all the posts in a row, but I keep forgetting to add this:

WOOHOO Nar (70 days) and Daisy (40 days)!!!!!

:yay: :happy: :yougo:

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy, YAYYY!! for you for 40 days!:lilflower: you are doing such a great job, staying accountable, helping others with their struggles. I am so happy for your accomplishment..

Nar! 70 days is BIG! Perhaps not as fun as 69, but huge. Big fat :l to you!!

Wag, you are sounding awesome--so full of confidence and strength. Working it all out by talking it through and helping us (me) as you help yourself. I'm learning a lot here each and every day-

xoxo I am trying to hold out for the rest of the soccer match and then I am hitting the hay. happy saturday to you all and see you tomorrow.