Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site
hello Ladies,
I had a horrible time trying to sign on yesterday-- and I keep getting random popups as well as adds for cleaning programs--windows said that my computer is in danger of a virus and not well protected. Do you ladies know about buying programs to clean the computer? I am embarrassed to say I don't know if it's necessary or not.
A lot going on this weekend here. You all gave me so much to think about. Abstaining from drinking no matter what is thrown our way, fighting the urges with whatever tools we have, surrendering/accepting the fact that this is who we are and where we stand and, actually, it's exactly where we are supposed to be, letting go of the need to control others, or even help others, especially those who don't want/aren't ready to be helped, how much we are affecting our kids and loved ones with our drinking--and with our not drinking!. You are all so inspiring to me with your strength and determination and empathy.
My BF just left yesterday to work for 10 days. He is always hesitant to talk with me about my drinking because he's never sure how I will react, but before he left he dared to. He told me how hurtful it is/I am to him when I drink. He said that he wishes it could be like it used to be, that I could have a few drinks, have fun and that's it. I said that is probably the biggest reason I keep trying to moderate--I would like that, too, and I worry that if I really quit, forever, that he will really miss that "fun" side of me and of our relationship. I told him that I know for a fact that I can never drink again moderately, that even if I were to be able to handle it for a day or two I would be back in the throes of misery very soon. He doesn't need to drink, doesn't seem to care whether or not he does, WON'T drink with me anymore, anyway. I am the one that needs to get my head around missing that part of our relationship. Letting go of the fear. It was the situation of my parents and my dad did leave my mom for someone he could drink with. This "being left" is my biggest fear and the reason for many of the problems in our relationship (and all my past intimate relationships)--which I am slowly able to admit, though I've known it forever. Now I have to work on that, my fear, instead of blaming someone/something else.
I have a possessed cat running around the living room, meowing like a crazy.
Love to you all. I am so glad to be here in great company. xoxoxoxo
hello Ladies,
I had a horrible time trying to sign on yesterday-- and I keep getting random popups as well as adds for cleaning programs--windows said that my computer is in danger of a virus and not well protected. Do you ladies know about buying programs to clean the computer? I am embarrassed to say I don't know if it's necessary or not.
A lot going on this weekend here. You all gave me so much to think about. Abstaining from drinking no matter what is thrown our way, fighting the urges with whatever tools we have, surrendering/accepting the fact that this is who we are and where we stand and, actually, it's exactly where we are supposed to be, letting go of the need to control others, or even help others, especially those who don't want/aren't ready to be helped, how much we are affecting our kids and loved ones with our drinking--and with our not drinking!. You are all so inspiring to me with your strength and determination and empathy.
My BF just left yesterday to work for 10 days. He is always hesitant to talk with me about my drinking because he's never sure how I will react, but before he left he dared to. He told me how hurtful it is/I am to him when I drink. He said that he wishes it could be like it used to be, that I could have a few drinks, have fun and that's it. I said that is probably the biggest reason I keep trying to moderate--I would like that, too, and I worry that if I really quit, forever, that he will really miss that "fun" side of me and of our relationship. I told him that I know for a fact that I can never drink again moderately, that even if I were to be able to handle it for a day or two I would be back in the throes of misery very soon. He doesn't need to drink, doesn't seem to care whether or not he does, WON'T drink with me anymore, anyway. I am the one that needs to get my head around missing that part of our relationship. Letting go of the fear. It was the situation of my parents and my dad did leave my mom for someone he could drink with. This "being left" is my biggest fear and the reason for many of the problems in our relationship (and all my past intimate relationships)--which I am slowly able to admit, though I've known it forever. Now I have to work on that, my fear, instead of blaming someone/something else.
I have a possessed cat running around the living room, meowing like a crazy.
Love to you all. I am so glad to be here in great company. xoxoxoxo
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