Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo;1604203 wrote:
No need to reinvent the wheel here at MWO. There are so many helpful posts, resources with loads of information to keep us busy everyday. We must come here everyday. This is like our recovery supplement for the day. Get your daily dose. And sometimes we need a little extra. So take what you need. We can't OD on loving and caring people.

Oh, I loved this, J-Vo. MWO is one of my supplements that I MUST have. I know this is true, and it is cemented by reading the relapse thread. I'm glad you could find that NS (by the way, HOW did you find it? Is there a search function here?)

Eloise - those are two of my triggers, too. Hitting the gym is a great idea - maybe you could stop for some delicious, indulgent food on your way home to keep yourself full and occupied? I always go for something salty and savory.

Ava - I never commented on your story with your brother. That is a terrible thing for you and your family to go through. What a beast alcohol is. I sometimes wonder what gives some alcoholics the strength/determination/motivation to seek help while others can't seem to hold on to the rope no matter how many times it is handed to them? Your day with your daughters sounds delightful - it must have felt great to confide in them and they sound so supportive. Some time soon it will be Dec. 30 where you are - congratulations, and of course we want a speech!

Humble - 60 days on 1/1 is an amazing start to your new year. I do remember that I was the same quit day as you until I decided that I wanted to moderate (HAH). My New Year's present will be 30 days on NYE.

NS - Learning about addiction to face the truth has been key to me. I have taken that "are you an alcoholic" quiz many times and could always justify a "no" answer with - "a couple of times doesn't count." Reading about addiction while staring at myself in the mirror has opened my eyes to the denial I have been in. That is what is one of the keys about this site for me - people post their own stories and experiences which is very important, and they also post resources and links and ideas for pursuits outside of MWO that are important for sobriety.

I also do not like to take the mindset that relapse is inevitable - that would leave a door open for me. I will work on my sobriety and do all it takes to remain sober. I won't judge others for relapse at all, but if we believe it will happen no matter what we do, we are losing our control again.

Star - I'm glad you're feeling better. I was all about the Gatorade and vitamins for a couple of days. Forgiveness is such an important tool here.

DTD - thanks for the drop in. Have a cup of tea and stay a while.

Narilly - Honestly? How can humans live in that weather? How do you ever get out of your house?

OK, lovelies - I am off to enjoy my Sunday with my family. Stay strong - ward off that stinking thinking with exercise, mindfulness, and gratitude. Let's ring in the New Year with our GSR sisters, not brothers...

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello Loams, (I like that Humble, DTD)
Ladies on a Mission Site- perfect

J-Vo- love all the posts
NS- thank you for all the posts on relapse, they are so helpful. I am going out on New Years and I was thinking I would have a glass (so stupid to think that I know). Reading the relapse threads and coming here everyday has really helped me get my mid set to where it should be. I don't want to drink so why would I. What is the point of having one? Is that going to make my party better? I have one and then keep obsessing about the fact that I want another. Forget it!
Pav, have fun with your family today, thanks for the great posts. Wow, what a long way you have come. So proud of you sista!
Star- you are a Star, everyday sober your going to feel a bit better. Forgive yourself sweetie. No one is going to remember that night as much as you or feel bad about it like you do.
Eloise- have a great time at the gym. I think I will go for a walk myself. Weather here is going up to 0Celsius. Yes!
Its going to be a great sober day for me today in YYC (Calgary).
Big Hugs,

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello ladies,
Gloomy Sunday and cold here in Ohio. Feeling good about my progress and wanting all you who are struggling to feel the inner peace that not struggling every day brought me. I actually have days now when i dont think about AL....it is a miracle for sure...120 days , proud and humble..

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Dottie, that is awesome! So happy for you

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Huge congrats, Dottie! I am so proud of you. I have been to church, grocery shopping, out to the sushi bar and shopping with two of my girls- pretty good day, I would say! Hope everyone else is doing well.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Evening Loams!

Ava, hugs to you! I'm so glad you've found the forgiveness in yourself and for your brother. Wow, how that makes such a difference. Acceptance for what is, what was. And, I too, am so happy about your children's support. That has to mean so very much. And so worth it all. I say "so" so much...

I hope everyone's doing well today. As I read the posts, yes, you all do! Today I met high school girlfriends at a restaurant and here's my experience that I posted in my journal:

Wait...it'll be in my next post.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Today, I went to brunch with three high school girlfriends for our second annual Christmas brunch/gift exchange. It was at a lovely restaurant in town. Beautiful! And we spent about three hours laughing and reminiscing, as well as eating lots.

What I observed was not a surprise, but reaffirmed what I already knew. I am not a regular drinker. I did not drink of course, but the three girls, whom I used to party with lots in my early years drank one glass of momosa each. In the three hours we sat there, they each had only one. The waitress came to the table and announced all the types of drinks and gave us drink menus. Well, what I would have done was had at least three glasses of chardonnay because we were there for three hours. One each hour, that's if I was "moderating." Duh! I would have felt kind of stupid being the only one drinking, so maybe I would have had two glasses. Then I would have come home and made up for that one I didn't have that I should have in three hours, and had at least three more. No, my girlfriends are normal drinkers. They weren't looking to get drunk. I would have looked at that get-together as an opportunity to drink. No doubt in my mind. And that would have been my main concern. Instead, it was lovely seeing my pretty gals, and had a great time.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

And I had a very bad sleeping night last night, where I didn't sleep much. Last night, I had read so much on MWO. For hours, I read and read. So I went to bed with all of this fresh in my mind. I woke up several times thinking of posts, the different tools that people use, what works for one may not work for another, and how we're all different with the same goal.

One particular time I woke up, every mortifying drinking session went through my mind. I must have been up for hours thinking about the times where I got trashed and made a complete flippin' fool of myself, whether it was with co-workers, my son, my immediate family members, extended family members, hubby's immediate and extended family, just with DH, and on and on I could go. What a frightening few hours. And I wouldn't mind if it happened again, which I'm sure it will. I don't want to forget, not that I actually could...

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-Vo, that is scary having dreaming like that. I know, having all those times in your mind where you made a total fool of yourself is scary for sure.
Interesting your observation with your friends. I observed the same thing at Christmas. My family drank and then stopped. No one kept going back and having 'just one more' glass of wine. I would have been doing that if I had been drinking early in the day.
I just went to a neighborhood get together. Lots of wine and hard liquor and lots of mulled wine. I came in with a big glass all filled up with grapefruit sanpellegrino and soda. They thought it was a margarita! I said there was no alcohol in it and no one seemed to care. It was perfect. I drank that and ate a bunch of food. Then went home after about an hour. It was perfect.
Anyway, I just have to keep on track being AF and make sure I incorporate it into everything I do in my life.
AL is not an option.
Hugs,

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LOAM hello

Well for the first time since holidays started I had a sleep in. I was in shock to say the least as it is 10am now but much needed i must say.

NS I never realised when i gave up drinking to "take and be gentle on myself", i still thought and wanted to do it all but now know that was not possible with what was happening to my mind and body. I wanted to "prove" to everyone that now i wasn't drinking i was there for everyone, i was getting better. Not the case, I was here for only me as i needed to heal. I think this has been hard on my kids in that way as even though i did drink i was still functioning. I am a new person, a better person but it takes time and now i think i am a bit more selfish of my own needs than theirs and that is okay. I dont need to hide about my addiction to them anymore. As you say we have the "power" to say no.

Star good woman as humbles son would say that you have accomplished Day 1. The guilt and remorse and shame leave us but never forget them or else you will be back there again. It gets better and i found when i was tired which was a lot, i would nap as i knew i would be awake at some ungodly hour later on. You can do this lovely.

Humble i definitely wont drink when SIL comes down. She out of anyone should realise how much i drank but she doesnt realise how much she drinks or doesnt want to. Yes it is sad about my brother but life goes on. My mothers favourite saying now is "you will end up an alcoholic like your uncle" to my kids and i'm like "its not something you pick up at the shop", its a disease but is say nothing it's too hard. I will clean your closet if you finish cleaning my kitchen! Fair deal i think as i am over what i started but it will look great when finished.

Dream, hello lovely to see your lovely face again or your cats. My daughter and SIL bought their new puppy over yesterday, way too cute. With the animals my kids have we could start a zoo. I always think people with animals have a very caring side to their nature and I am glad my children do.

Pav i love waking to your posts both of us have a lot to say lol. I thought this morning, gees i write a lot but then I thought of who else would i share everything with or want to for that matter! So you all get to put up with my ramblings for a few more years at least. I did the same thing with the AA questions and like you denial is a funny thing. But now i know i am an alcoholic pure and simple.

Dot 120 days so proud of you. I started the same time as Dot and LC and that thought of moderation and attempting it is why i am on day 30, i was going to say ONLY but god damn i am proud. I too Dot am having days where i dont think of AL and its nice not to argue with my brain daily anymore.

Nar as you said what will that one glass do for us alkies. Absolutely bloody nothing, well it will, it will lead to us buying a bottle or two, hiding it, drinking it, waking up with a hangover, feeling guilt, shame and remorse and back to day 1. You know the drill, keep doing what you are doing best, not drinking. 0 degrees sounds like a heat wave for you today!

Jvo, great post about your lunch and normal is so not us. My mind was always on the next drink but thinking i didnt want to look like a wine glutton, i was planning which bottleshop i could stop at on the way home to have my fill. A fav was a bottlo with three bottles for $25, yes that would do me for a couple of days. Who was i fooling in a couple of days! Now its all about the food and what af drink to have and embrace and remember the company and good times. I think if i thought about everytime i embarrassed myself and others i would not sleep for weeks, i am just glad the ride is taken off the table for us.

Well 30 days today and as I said I am proud, f**in proud of myself. This quit has been the hardest as its been my wake up call big time. I wont forget the first Friday night i didnt drink and how good it felt and how much more determined I was to give al the arse. I wont forget how each day i wake up sober and grateful, i wont forget what al turned me into, a person that i am not, i wont forget what it did to my children seeing their mother a drunk. But that is all in the past and now i have many many more sober days to look forward to. If it was not for you LOAM I would not be here in this spot, celebrating my 30 days today and from the bottom of my heart I thank you guys. If i could give you all a big hug and a bunch of flowers it would be a small token of my appreciation for your listening to a lunatic at times, for reading my ramblings and for your kind words of wisdom each and every day. I too hope i have helped in some way on your journey also. Now enough of my teary thank you speech, i have a comment Humble that my son said to me one day while we are in the shower he was about 3 i think.

"mummy", yes Liam, "men have penis's and ladies have big china's".

Have a great day everyone, i know i will xxxx

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, You sound so good. Way to go!! 30 days Girl!

so funny what your son said. Kids are hilarious.

Have a great sober Sunday night.
XXX

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hahahahaha Ava!!!! Love, love, love it!!!!! Loud belly laugh on that one!!!!!!! Good one, Liam!!!!

[Rivergal]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Would love to join you amazing ladies!

I have loved reading your posts on this thread & would be honored to be a regular. You ladies crack me up & have me laughing so hard! Hahaha. How I can relate to the watching movies idea when I can now remember them, and to the partners who repeat themselves....hahaha. Love you all & thanks for having my back. Only wish we could be in a live chat room.
Peace & Happy New Year- have my party hat & sparkling cider ready to go. BTW, the Campral, Kudzu, & evening primrose oil is keeping me mellow & less irritable I think. I am only in the early stages of healing this addicted brain.
Peace out,
Rivergal

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi River and welcome welcome welcome. How long are you af free for now? God it sounds like "and how long have you had herpes" for lol. Its a great regular check in and accountable thread with support and love thrown in for good measure. Cant go wrong with that.

I cant get chat to work on here but maybe we could start a skype group????

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, just made me laugh again. "Well, nurse Ava, I've had the herpes for about 30 days!!! YES! Thank you for the herpes support. It feels great to be honest about my herpes..." And BTW, Ms. Ava, you sound so mentally strong! Your speech made me a little misty. Your being here is invaluable to us. Love you, Ava.

El, I have a list of those books somewhere in my journal, the earlier days. I'll take a look. Good for you gettin to the gym so early. I had a sleepless night myself. Hope tonight is better for both of us. Are you feeling better?

Star, you're sounding great today. Glad you got out to church and with your girls.

Humble, I guess we all have SIL drinking buddies. Mine's actually quite a drunk herself, but she'd never admit it. She's the only person that I'd be afraid to tell about my issues, as she's quite evil. She doesn't have many friends because she never learned how to be nice. She starts trouble with the family all the time. Glad I don't have to see her often, but that last times that I have, I saw what the beast is doing to her, because by the end of the night, she's sloshed. It used to be "we" were sloshed. The past two get-togethers were larger groups, so it was easier for her not to notice I wasn't drinking. Next saturday, it'll be Dh's immediate family, and much smaller. I was always the one that drank with her. I will have to make up an excuse - I plan to use "haven't been drinking because it triggers hot flashes." That was sweet, what your son would say...She's not a lady, she's a woman! Remember the song, "I'm Every Woman..." Ok, that's in my head now!

Hi Rivergal, glad you're here! And taking something to reduce irritability is a good thing. I take seredyn. I buy it online. A little expensive, helps with anxiety. Lots.

Pav, oh, the "are you a drunk?" quiz. I don't know how many I've taken, but lots. Yep, Family fun today. Enjoy.

Hi DTD! Hope you're well!

NS, it is great to feel in control. Sometimes I think the beast is still sitting on my shoulder, though. I hate to say I'm not confident, but it's true. Not all the time, but feelings and thoughts come and go, like, what if he gets me. I certainly would not go get him, so I guess I am in control. I just have to believe it. It takes time to get used to major changes. Something I've been doing for 30 years won't just disappear from my mind in 30 days. So early recovery means a lot of time reprograming ourselves and with time, it should become easier and more natural. We need to engage in different activities and live our lives so unlike we were. Of course it's not going to feel normal, or something we're used to doing. Time.

Nar, I bet Calgary is beautiful. And what a great idea to bring your own drink to neighbors. I'll keep that one tucked away.

Dottie, again, 120! You sound great. Inner peace, not struggling everyday. I don't feel as though I'm struggling, but just aware that I need to be many steps ahead of that beast.

To all you Loam's, have a great night.