Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you for your insight Jane. Yes I do think he's backed into a corner. I have been a bit mean lately too. Not cooking much. Not helping him with his laundry. I use to do those things from love not because I had to.
And Ava you are right. It's been about a month since the last binge and he is going through PAWs. This happens with addictions other then alcohol. I am praying thid time he makex it past this point. I am going to try and be a bit kinder. Enough about me.
NS :bday3: Thank you for your love and support.
Patrice I thought about you a lot today. One of my ladies is married to a man from Malaysia. They are going there in September. We had a long conversation about the climate. Now I know where you are and a little about how you live.
J-vo please don't pass out on that mat tomorrow. And inam excited about your vacation for you. Waiting to see those pics.
Jane I too have been feeling a bit out of it lately. But we really miss you when you aren't here you know. I have been stalking you on the gratitude thread.
Wag I too wanted to ask what started you drinking again. Thanks for sharing that with us. I just don't have a moderate gene in me. It seems everything is done overboard. I am working on that.
I think all of you ladies are kind and have so much to share. And give back. It's really sad but I have made the discovery that that is not the case with all people. There are mean, evil people in this world. And sometimes just plain selfish.
And NO I do not deserve to be treated badly. Thank you for that affirmative. As I was abused as a child I tend to think that I do deserve that. But not drinking has given me a different opinion on life. Just like you J-vo. My self confidence is growing. I may have gotten a little big for my britches there for awhile, a little humility beagle, I had to remind myself.
Whew what a journey sobriety is. Happy, overwhelming, scary, sometimes painful, and I am sure there is more. But definately WORTH EVERY STRUGGLE. Every day I wake up like a kid at christmas with that longed for present under the tree. All bright and shiny just waiting to be played with. Enjoy your sobriety ladies. That's what we are working for.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wags, that is quite a story. Amazing that you stayed sober through all of that and then drank when your dog died. I guess it was the only way you knew how to cope at the time. One more reason to have a group of people for support. Hopefully we can help each other when faced with situations that are painful and difficult to deal with.
That was a lot to go through and would have been hard on anyone.
Big hugs

Hey, I was listening to the Bubble Hour, Sober Firsts, the latest one. One of the ladies was saying she was sober for a long time and then started drinking after her dog died. This is more common than we know.

Jane, I hope you feel better soon. Talk to us when you can. We love you.

Pav, cross post?

Anyway, I am in bed so goodnight lovely Loamers.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB, I'm glad you don't post on a phone anymore. You have so much important stuff to say and now we get to hear it :l.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, Loamers. For awhile I hated birthdays because as each one passed, it was another one on which I hadn't stopped drinking even though I had sworn I would do so. Now I feel like it is weird that I'm as old as I am because in many ways I feel younger than I had for several years - more enthusiasm, interest in people and things, energy, spontaneity, just general health and outlook. I might even look younger in some ways - at least I smile and laugh more, which always helps .

Thanks again, NS

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS I agree. I feel younger then I have for a long time. Smiling does help.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB:l

NS, tone down the giddiness a bit, will ya!:H You were giddy as hell today!!!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you all for your comments on my story. I am seriously amazed (and kind of proud) that I stayed sober through a lot of shit. I wish I had never started drinking, but the fact that I didn't start sooner feels like a big accomplishment and gives me hope that I can be strong and resilient again. And now I've stopped again and am rebuilding my support network. You all are a huge part of that - really awesome women (and the occasional Moamer, from what I've seen).

Nar - I'll have to go check out that Bubble Hour you mentioned. It has always struck me as interesting as well that I stayed sober through so much and then drank after my dog died. I really think is was the cumulative effect of everything, losing my dog was like losing my best friend at that time, and it was just too much. Once I had that first drink, it was all over.

LB - Similar to what you said, I don't do "moderate" very well with anything. I work hard, play hard, love hard, hurt hard, etc. Unfortunately, I also drink hard. In some ways, that makes staying AF easier because I am completely clear that moderation isn't an option. I know there's no such thing as having one drink with dinner. This saves me a lot of hemming, hawing, bargaining, negotiating, etc. Not that I'm not tempted, it's just easier to stay AF when I have no illusions about "maybe just one drink or one day or one anything." I know one just opens the floodgates, so I keep the damn thing slammed shut as best as I can, and I come on here for extra oomph.

Well, there's more to catch up on but I am crazy tired. My paddling team is preparing for a race day this weekend and our practices have been brutal. I think every muscle in my body is toast from this evening's workout, including some muscles I didn't realize I was using! Gotta hit the hay.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Ladies:

BEAUTIFUL posts. I wish I could respond to them all but it is LATE and I just got back from the conference. Also, my laptop is about out of power and my power cord is far away...

Fuck him, LB, or at least get an Ava brick for now until he gets over the struggle (is he participating in a sober community?). Happy Birthday, NS (giddy looks good on you). I think you can, I think you can, Kailey. Wags - you've done it once, you can do it again. J-Vo - think about meditation - acknowledge the thought and let it float by. Nar - Bubble Hour ROCKS. Ava - I don't believe you're a bitch and I hope Maddison has a good day at the vet (and Mia comes 'round). Jane - Feel better soon, don't stray too far - complacency is a bad thing - and I like NS's idea of structure. SL - xoxoxo. Patrice, hope work was good - what did you decide to do with your son. LC, hope your computer issues get better soon - we miss you.

Phew. Probably missed someone - sorry if so, but the site is too slow to scroll back.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Ladies:

BEAUTIFUL posts. I wish I could respond to them all but it is LATE and I just got back from the conference. Also, my laptop is about out of power and my power cord is far away...

Fuck him, LB, or at least get an Ava brick for now until he gets over the struggle (is he participating in a sober community?). Happy Birthday, NS (giddy looks good on you). I think you can, I think you can, Kailey. Wags - you've done it once, you can do it again. J-Vo - think about meditation - acknowledge the thought and let it float by. Nar - Bubble Hour ROCKS. Ava - I don't believe you're a bitch and I hope Maddison has a good day at the vet (and Mia comes 'round). Jane - Feel better soon, don't stray too far - complacency is a bad thing - and I like NS's idea of structure. SL - xoxoxo. Patrice, hope work was good - what did you decide to do with your son. LC, hope your computer issues get better soon - we miss you.

Phew. Probably missed someone - sorry if so, but the site is too slow to scroll back.

xo
Pav

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi lovely Ladies,
as NS said, my computer had some sort of crazy thing going on--some weird site kept popping up when I clicked on here--finally "googled" it and was able to get rid a bunch of junk that had found it's way onto my computer. Who knew I was so technically inclined?:H

I have to agree with Pav, beautiful posts!! I wanted to respond to each and every one, as each and every one touched me.

NS, Happy belated birthday!! I didn't know. I can understand completely what you said about feeling a bit down at each B-day, because it was another year in which you hadn't become sober. Now you've done it! twice even!:balloon: That's as far as my posting pictures goes..

LB, your post made me uncomfortable, because the first thing that came to mind is how mean I am to my BF when I drink, or when I feel threatened, or in the first days/weeks of recovery. He said to me, "everyone thinks you are so calm y sees you as such a supportive, caring,loving person--you take everything out on me/us at home"-- it's true. I don't really understand why we treat the people we love the most so terribly. Theoretically, of course I understand, but it breaks my heart. After I've apologized, and have quit drinking AGAIN! he tells me that for him my good qualities outweigh the bad. But I know I'm walking a thin line. I hope you will find peace with eachother. You are my number one roll model of strength.

Kailey, I'm glad you didn't run away-- that is what I've done every time. And eventually I end up back here anyway. I was also a person, in the beginning, who didn't have a lot of patience for people who had slipped often. I had such an ego. Look at me now!! After 3 years at MWO and a million day 1's--I thank NS so much for saying it's part of the process. It allows me to be much easier on myself and to understand that I am on my way. We aren't failures unless we quit trying. It's frustrating and more difficult, I find, each time I f*** up. And I do wonder if I'll ever get it right.

J-vo, where did you find that picture of me?? Thank you for that. You are a superstar in my book. You have struggled and are one of the best examples of someone who has come here and shared the good and the bad--you've really worked, as one has to to become sober and you've let yourself be helped. Have fun at hot yoga. I hope you don't have to be behind to some guy in really short shorts. If so, don't look up during the forward bends!!

Jane, :l:l-- I loved the circle of our arms. I hope you'll be feeling better soon.

Ava, you rock. Great that you forewarned your boyfriend about the bitchiness. You gave him the heads up!! Hope the vet appt. goes well. :h to you and Maddie.

shoot. not finished and I have to run off to work.

Love to you all, SL, Nar, Pav, Giraffe, Roxy, Wag, pat, Daisy.

[frances]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning all just checking in to say hello and to send a hug to Jane - I hope you feel better soon Jane - I hate feeling out of sorts like you described. Me no likey either! Thinking of you. :l

LB hugs to you too, sounds like you are going through a particularly difficult time. :h

Same to everyone, struggling or not - I'm so glad to have you all here!

Frances

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LC I sent you a pm a few days ago, I guess you didn't get it. I don't know why they sometimes don't work

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB - Similar to what you said, I don't do "moderate" very well with anything. I work hard, play hard, love hard, hurt hard, etc. Unfortunately, I also drink hard. In some ways, that makes staying AF easier because I am completely clear that moderation isn't an option. I know there's no such thing as having one drink with dinner. This saves me a lot of hemming, hawing, bargaining, negotiating, etc. Not that I'm not tempted, it's just easier to stay AF when I have no illusions about "maybe just one drink or one day or one anything." I know one just opens the floodgates, so I keep the damn thing slammed shut as best as I can, and I come on here for extra oomph

.

Exactly Wags, I could not have said it better myself!

Wow, lots of activity here and it is great! We are doing so well. Lots of success here and I am proud to call myself a Loamer. I was thinking if I ever got a tattoo I would get "loamers" haha! On my butt of course! Kidding....

I do use it as my password on my computer and I think of y'all when I type it in.

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

hi All!

Roxy, sent you a PM--

Nar, Loamers on the butt! Right cheek, yeah?
I got 2 tattoos in my younger days and I am relieved that one is on my shoulder and one is around my wrist-grateful that i didn't have them done on any of the well known saggy areas!! The ass is definitely a no-no!!

I hope everyone is well tonight-- was reading in the NN and saw of your struggles, Daisy. How old are your daughters? Young adults, you said. Have you been able to talk to them about everything?

I'm in the middle of making dinner and an ice cream mix for our new machine-- peanut butter and chocolate 'cause it's just us girls. Hope it's as good as Haagen daz!

xoxoxo

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

How are you, Jane? You have been on my mind a lot today. I don't know what to say, but am sending love your way.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

wagmore;1675507 wrote:

LB - Similar to what you said, I don't do "moderate" very well with anything. I work hard, play hard, love hard, hurt hard, etc. Unfortunately, I also drink hard. In some ways, that makes staying AF easier because I am completely clear that moderation isn't an option. I know there's no such thing as having one drink with dinner. This saves me a lot of hemming, hawing, bargaining, negotiating, etc. Not that I'm not tempted, it's just easier to stay AF when I have no illusions about "maybe just one drink or one day or one anything." I know one just opens the floodgates, so I keep the damn thing slammed shut as best as I can, and I come on here for extra oomph.
.

That's funny how we can be extreme with everything. I'm like that, too. It's like a little is not ever enough with anything. I eat the same way, too. But the mindset you have is what it takes to be successful on this journey and stops the mental chatter in its tracks.

LC, I'm glad he can see through your weaknesses and focus on your strengths, because I surely feel those strengths here. And I'm a bitch to DH, too, and that's something I want to work on.

I went to hot yoga today! Yep, I just about died right on my mat. Wow, what a workout. Now i can see benefits of it and may buy a set of 10 sessions and go once a week or so. But an interesting thing is that you're breathing through your uncomfortable positions, and pushing yourself a bit harder while breathing. That takes a lot of focus, and I can see how practicing this provides benefits for all areas of one's life. I think we can apply that to our early sobriety days, breathing through those uncomfortable thoughts, cravings, and that makes us stronger. We'll be faced with pain or discomfort in our lives, so we can meditate through it and not medicate through it.

Ok, have to go girls, Have a great night.