Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Long had day today. Hava a good night Ladies.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey all, just popping in before bed - after a wobbly night last night all is back to normal.....spent today making retirement banners for 2 ladies at my cousin's workplace - all done....
Love doing things like this.....keeps me happy...
I haven't had a lot of cravings but when I do they hit hard.....I do allow myself the thought that I can have a drink the next day if I feel the same way....carries me through and of couse I feel so differently within a couple of hours.
A couple of times, this being one, I feel I need to go back to that day one mentality and regroup my thoughts......day 1 is where my determination is.....
Will read back here more tomorrow.....keep well everyone...

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi girls,
I need to get into yoga too!!
Daisy - good on you for using new tools and I, for one, am grateful that they work!

I went for the end of school dinner last night, it wasn't an easy night but I didn't drink. I only stayed for a couple of hours and didn't really enjoy it that much, mainly because there wasn't really enough food.. We had Thai tapas which wasn't really filling but everyone else was drinking so that was filling them up!!

But so happy that I didn't drink!
Have a great MAE
Xx

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good for you Patrice. I'm glad you decided to limit your time there. Sometimes we almost have to go but there are simple things we can do like arrive late, chat to the lighter drinkers, have a "fake" drink in hand so no one is being pushy, and leave early. Sucks when the food isn't that great, though. Especially now that I really care about food and I only used to care about the alcohol and what brand of vodka they were serving.

Daisy, you made it through a tough one. Stay with us dear lady. We need to talk these things through. But I know that craving you had last night. Same stinkin' one I had on Friday night. It's a bitch of a craving. I think you did the right thing by loading up on the ice cream. And your reward was waking up hangover-free today! Yippee!

Ava, how's Maddie doing?

Nar, you're doing so flippin fantastic. What's going on in your life? What are you son's plans since he just graduated. And how old is daughter?

LB was your day better than previous?

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Patrice and J-vo.....I am grand now but realise I have work to do.....reading here bigtime tomorrow!
What do you do to give yourself a booster? How do you arm yourself to be even stronger? Would love to hear your toughts.....anyone...
On nights out I tend to get a diet coke and sit with it.....don't feel I should get into rounds as I am not drinking, but then the drinkers sometimes continue to buy me more diet coke that I don't even want and I look bad for not getting a round......
Then the driving...as soon as they hear you are driving there is no end of people looking for a lift home....really puts me off! A couple of years ago while AF I had 2 different friends vomit in my car.......yuck! And waiting on a drunk person leaving is a pain in the arse....the talking never ends!
I want to go to a comedy night on Sunday at a local pub but I am holding back asking anyone because I know I would prefer to leave when I feel like it but if I go with a friend (they all drink) I will have to stay on and accomodate them until they are done......
See what you started Patrice! Haha...just venting.....
Oh, and congratulations Frances on 120 days!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy,
This is tough, because we don't want to engage in the same behaviors that our friends are still engaging in. So what to do...Def don't get in on the rounds. Why spend all that money when you aren't drinking.

I guess that's why they say sometimes our friends change when we quit drinking. I have friends from work that I used to drink with once in a while, but overall, I don't have that issue as we don't go out much and I was more of an at-home-drinker. I'm trying to incorporate other activities with girlfriends - last week I went biking with a gf and today went to hot yoga with another. These are girls I've drank with and both know that I'm not drinking now, but let's face it. They're not alkies, I love them, and I wanna hang out with them, so what a simple solution -engage in activities that aren't centered around alcohol.

If you feel comfortable with going to the comedy club and sipping on diet coke because the main focus is entertainment, then go for it. That's if you're confident in going and not feeling that deprivation. If you have the littlest, tiniest alcoholic voice, and you had a big one the other night, my opinion would be to stay home and wait until you are more confident.

I wouldn't wanna take home drunks, especially ones that are puking in the car. That's where I'd draw the line. Me not drinking anymore means I'm not going to associate myself with that atmosphere and the repercussions of others binge drinking. I can't even stand my own puke, I certainly wouldn't put up with someone elses. Why would we babysit adults and wait for them to tell us when they're ready for you to take them home. That's what cabs are for. I'm not that nice!

Daisy, all I'm saying is that think about this type of situation. You don't want to get caught up in that kind of environment, especially this early in your sobriety. I know you like the comedy thing, but maybe you can find something to rent on TV that is similar and watch with someone that's not going to be binge drinking. IT's so tricky this early on. Hugs xxxooo

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy - I think reading a bunch on here tomorrow will really help you reset your mind to that Day One attitude. When I was struggling over the weekend, I read a ton here - found threads I didn't even know existed! It really helped.

As for going to the comedy show with drinking friends, I agree with j-vo. Not only do you want to be careful about temptation, you might also want to rethink being around a bunch of people who are likely to get drunk. It sounds like you are already uncertain that you want to be in that position. I would say listen to your inner voice - there will be more comedy shows in the future and perhaps new AF friends to go with.


Patrice - Awesome job at the end of school dinner. It always feels like a win for the whole team when one of us gets through an event like that. You should definitely be proud and feel good about it!

Ava - Any updates about Maddie???

Jane - Glad to hear from you, and hope you have a great day in NYC tomorrow.

LB - Hope you're doing ok. Hugs :huggy

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Just an accountability check in and a big hello to all of you this morning as i run off to work.
Today my biggest goal is not to drink. My second biggest is to exercise.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Everyone:

Late again - don't worry, I'm saving up for a big waffle when this weekend is over.

Daisy - my suggestion is to say "I'll meet you there in my own car because I have to leave early" or something like that. In being sober, I really try to have an exit strategy, especially if I think it will be a heavy drinking night and I'm not into it. Most definitely no pukers in the care!

For the booster shot - EXERCISE. But you know that already. I listened to the Sober Toolbox Bubble Hour today (part 1), and they have many suggestions for reading that will help give you inspiration and a boost. They included Drink by Ann Dowsett Johnston (she was also on an episode), The Good House, Guts by Kristen Johnson, Best Kept Secret. They also recommend Anne Lamott and Brene Brown as well. They had many others but I didn't write them all down. Part 2 has other tools they use to keep sober. Finally, go read that thread that K9 bumped in Monthly Abstinence - What I HATE about alcohol - that will keep you busy.

OK - off to bed, a long day.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Everyone:

Late again - don't worry, I'm saving up for a big waffle when this weekend is over.

Daisy - my suggestion is to say "I'll meet you there in my own car because I have to leave early" or something like that. In being sober, I really try to have an exit strategy, especially if I think it will be a heavy drinking night and I'm not into it. Most definitely no pukers in the care!

For the booster shot - EXERCISE. But you know that already. I listened to the Sober Toolbox Bubble Hour today (part 1), and they have many suggestions for reading that will help give you inspiration and a boost. They included Drink by Ann Dowsett Johnston (she was also on an episode), The Good House, Guts by Kristen Johnson, Best Kept Secret. They also recommend Anne Lamott and Brene Brown as well. They had many others but I didn't write them all down. Part 2 has other tools they use to keep sober. Finally, go read that thread that K9 bumped in Monthly Abstinence - What I HATE about alcohol - that will keep you busy.

OK - off to bed, a long day.

xo
Pav

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wags: I did the same thing when my little mini dachshund was poisoned in the Caribbean. I had left her in the care of my (lazy) dad so I could go to graduate school in NY. He just had to watch her for 2 more months until Christmas break.
I was a mess. I wasn't even there with her when she passed away and her brother had did 14 months earlier. She was all alone... my dad was not loving her like she needed. She was depressed and then poisoned when out on a walk with my dad. Not on a lease I might add. As you might imagine I have not been able to forgive him either. He felt terrible naturally (as he should!!!!!)
I fell completely apart into a thousand pieces. I just couldn't cope. I had had the drink under control for more than a year. Everything went south.
I did graduate though. I still think of my little sausages everyday and miss them profoundly.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks everyone for the suggestions....time to get to work!
I actually find the pub situation easy - now if someone were to bring wine to my house, that would be worse. As far as lifts and roubds go, I will take your advice - have to be a bit stronger - I find it hard to say no.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

What do I do to give myself a determination boost? I call my in person support snd have a long talk. My in person support is my daughter. So I call her and confess I'm having drinking thoughts. Although she drinks she knows I CANNOT. So she is as determined as I am that I don't.
I am just working a little extra, and it's hard, physical labor. So yep I'm tired at the end of the day. No worries about fitting in exercise though. :H
Hope your Maddie is ok Ava. I have been thinking about you.
J-vo loved the not babysitting thing.
Jane have fun today. I have been a bit concerned about you.
I had a long tlak with hubby last night. He started going off with me, so I persisted until I got him to talk about his issue. He feels guilty about his daughter and not being able to help her. At least we had a talk and he FEELS better. It was exhausting getting him to open up. Why do men seem to bottle their feelings so tightly? And I am his support. I have tried to get him a community, but I can't force him, you know.
Eloise that tore my heart up.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Eloise - What happened to your pup is heartbreaking. I have a huge soft spot for animals and this would have caused me to fall apart too. Just reading your post made me cry. I'm so sorry for your loss and for what your pup went through.

LB - Glad to hear you had a talk with hubs. Although it sounds like it was challenging and draining, hopefully it also opened the door for further communication in the future.

Daisy - Sounds like you have hit the ground running with your Day One mentality - awesome. If you feel pretty solid about being in the pub, then I agree about the suggestion to meet people there and build in an "out" for yourself to leave early sans passengers.

LC - Excellent goals for today - you CAN achieve both of them!

Pav - Great reading suggestions. I'm gonna look into everything you mentioned - thanks!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy, I think it is a great idea (from Pav) to have an exit strategy. And ya, you can't be part of rounds drinking diet coke...that shite will kill ya!
I think, in time, you will make some new sober friends OR will start doing different things with your friends that don't include AL. That is 'sort of' happening in my life but it is a very slow process. It is tought to make new friends just like that but I think eventually it will evolve to that point.

Eloise- OMG!! I had two little weenies. Franky and Daizy and they were absoloutely the loves of my life! I mean, I so totally loved those dogs. I don't know what it is about daschunds but holey moley they are just so loveable. I have had probably 10 dogs in my life and the weenies are the ones I miss the most.

Your story was really sad. I can see how hard that would have been to deal with. But, you know, your dog may have been happier than you think. Maybe she seemed depressed to you but she really wasn't. I don't know, I mean, don't make yourself feel guilty over that. I feel guilty about a few things with my dogs and then I think that I can't change it so why feel bad about it. Just know that 99% of your dog's life was awesome and that her last two months may not have been optimal but way better than some dogs have it everyday.

Wags, my booster is exercise too. Pav's suggestions are always good.

xo