Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE Ladies,
Today and tomorrow we're getting ready for our vacation. Our flight is 7 a.m. Saturday morning. So lots to do! Of course, my IPad will be going with me, so I'll be checking in daily with you girls. There are plenty of fun activities to keep us busy and relax, so I know we'll have a great time.

LB, I didn't know you were having drinking thoughts, but I'm sure glad you called your person, your daughter to talk with her. You've been under lots of stress lately, so call me anytime, text, pm. You don't have to keep this all inside. Let it out and if daughter isn't there, we are. I'm glad you were able to get DH to verbalize his feelings to you. That has to be difficult for him.

Jane, have a great NYC day!

El, that's such a sad story of your mini d's. I would be devastated, too. Our four-legged friends are an extension of our family and lots of time provide more love than we can get from the humans in our lives.

Wag, I loved the Fourth of July plan you posted in NN. What a great idea!

Pav, you're always full of great tools and information. Thank you dear! Hope you get through the rest of your week. Can't wait for a waffle.

Daisy, day 1 for me too! Well, I'm gonna start on day 7. I felt like such crap on day 1 and never wanna be there again. It took me a full week to feel almost normal. I think that's a great strategy, though, to go back and put into place all the tools you were using from the start. Another great idea!

Pat, you made it through to the end! How long of a vacation do you have? What are your plans?

LC, hope your day goes well and you get those two things done!

Ava, I'm getting so much from your posts in NN. Thank you ma dear.

NS, are you partied out from your birthday?????

Have a great day ladies.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:thumbs::wd::yay::wave::dancin:Nar has 75 days!!!!!! You go girlie!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Just to add to the celebration (and take advantage of the opportunity to use some fun emoticons) ....

WOOHOO Nar (75 days) and Eloise (40 days)!!!!!

inkele: :danthin: :banana: :baaah:

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Congratulations Nar and Eloise! Job well done!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Way to go Narilly. My favorite numbers are the multiples of 25. (And of course, your upcoming 100 is an especially great one!)

Good to see you here, Frances. How are you doing? Your AF days must really be getting up there.

It looks to me like this thread should be Ladies who Love Dogs on a Mission. Do we have any cat-people here??? Hope your pup is doing well today, Ava, so you can relax a bit. Our dog is in that bliss phase of no longer being a demanding puppy but not yet struggling with the challenges of aging. I love this time of a dog's life.

Daisy, I'm parroting everyone else -- nothing is worth risking your quit at this early stage, especially in light of your experience of wanting to drink a couple nights ago. I think that after that happens, you have to be especially vigilant -- the seed has been planted. You sure don't want to help it grow by putting it in an environment with people who are drinking. After this is a solid-and-forever quit, navigating those challenges really isn't too hard at all. In my opinion, there's no reason to do that now and many reasons not to.

Hope you're all doing well! :h NS

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

hey loamers i have a few minutes before i need to get ready for work. maddy is looking better and a change in her epilepsy tab routine seems to be making a difference although i did have to buy a pill cutter as who the hell can break a half a pill into a quarter. next month she goes into hospital for her teeth and some other tests to see why her liver is playing up but thank god i have nearly paid off her last visit. worth every penny though.

Wag my dogs are my world, i have a shitzu (rupert or poppy she is known as) and she is a sweet thing but damn she is dumb. all her thoughts are on playing ball and that is about all she knows but as i am typing she is snuggling under the covers with me.

El so sorry about your baby, its hard enough when we lose an animal but not being there for me is unimagineable. As nar said maybe she was happy but we just dont know. the only child of mine i trust with maddision is my daughter as she loves her just as much as i do (she was her dog until she did not look after her - teenage years) and my mum would take her tomorrow but she lives too far away.

A funny thing happened yesterday, i had a difficult patient that comes in every three months and sighs and complains if she is not seen in 5 minutes, so i was rushed and a bit rude to her. she came up and asked me if i was ok and i said my dog was sick. she then told me she lost her bird of 10 years to an operation and then heart failure and was saying that friends etc did not get that she was so upset about her pets death. we actually talked for about an hour about how special they are and part of the family etc. When she left she hugged me and said i had made her feel better by understanding that it is losing a family member and she had ever right to grieve. damn i felt bad but then if felt good. to me, her bird deserved to be mourned also. being a secretary is hard work sometimes lol.

well off i go to work. taking the man to a sewing/knitting expo after work today, now this could be make or break stage ha ha but he offered and i am not going to say no. Will be back saturday as not posting on my iphone. too blind for that one.

love to everyone and jvo happy packing.
xxxx

Congrats to nar and el on your wonderful days, gees they are piling up for us all now and thats such a good thing. Daisy be strong and keep on here, dont give into al, you know you will regret it.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi girls,
Friday,yay and last day for 6 and a half weeks, also day 30 af.
Jvo - I'm going to Cambodia for a week and then maybe Langkawi for a week and in between I will just stay here...
Have a great MAE..
Xx
Patrice

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy, like Ava said, be strong! Maybe miss the comedy show and watch something hilarious on TV instead? Its always an option.

J-Vo, have fun on your trip. I wish I was going with you! Good you are taking your ipad and will be posting. Love the emoticons. You too Wags!

Ava, that is so nice how you chatted with that lady about her dead bird. I am sure it is just as painful as losing a dog. You are pretty brave to take your guy to a sewing/knitting expo, my guy would go into a coma I think. He has a hard time going to Costco and everyone Loves Costco! I go there just to feel good and squeeze that black Austrailian licorice.

Thanks for all the 75 days congratulations. It is nice to be here and I plan to get to a hundred in about 25 days or so (right NS). Things are going well for me right now. My daughter is picking classes to go to University and study Biological Sciences. Holy cow! She will be taking chemistry, biology, physics and math. (glad its not me!) She goes in September to Victoria which is a 1.5 hour flight from here so not too bad. My son is doing a gap year so we will see what he does. I think he is thinking of going into teaching like Auntie Pav and Auntie J-Vo.

Stampede starts here in about a week. It is a huge drink fest and so many people are drinking all the time. But Not Me! I will participate in non AL activities. My sister in law comes to town and square dances all week. It is a lot of fun square dancing and wearing my cowboy boots and hat etc. We get all geared up and wear our western wear to work.

Ya, its funny how drinking thoughts just pop into our brains. Once in awhile I think 'oh man, I want to have a glass of wine, I miss having a glass of wine' but then I put it out of my mind. I just tell myself that it is the 'damaged' part of my brain talking and I have to dismiss the thoughts. I think over time they will be easier to dismiss but I have to remain vigilant because I do not want them to win or push me into a situation where I cannot say no to drinking.

[frances]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE all - just checking in and doing my daily reading

Jane, hope NYC was fantastic and just what you needed!

Daisy - I don't think I could deal with going out with friends who wanted me to pay for rounds and then stick around until they were ready to go home...I say stay strong and do things the way you want to! As for arming to be stronger - hmmm, I don't know - I want to add exercise to my list...I haven't gotten past thinking about it yet. Thanks for the congrats on my count!

J-vo - I was primarily a drink at home person too. After kids our social life declined significantly. Of course socializing ALWAYS included drinking too, but since I hardly went out, I just mainly did it at home. I never wanted to go anywhere social if it didn't involve drinking. Now, I look forward to those the most! I think hanging out with people who don't drink is actually more fun for me...then I'm not thinking as much about myself not drinking. I was at a wedding reception last weekend and very happy to be sober but I have to admit I was a little jealous of everyone who ‘got’ to drink. I know I just need to get out of deprivation mode and into gratitude mode when that happens! No pity parties for me!

Pav - I am going to read through the what I HATE about alcohol thread thanks for mentioning it! And try to start exercising. I need to do that and stop just thinking about it! I need to Just Do IT

Wags and Eloise - so so sorry about your dogs. And Ava sorry that yours is not doing well. I can't imagine and I know I will be a mess when I have to lose mine.

LB - so nice that your daughter is there to support you! My kids are early teens - I haven't talked about my own problem with them. I have thought about having a serious conversation with them about the alcoholism in our families (both DH and mine). My parents were daily drinkers but never out of control. But we do have several great uncles, cousins, etc. who have had serious problems. So I want to tell them that it's really not worth the risk. My 14 year old daughter loves to smell beer and wine. It worries me! I have told her it worries me and that we have alcoholism in our family but I didn't talk about it any more than that. I’m not even sure I have the guts to tell them about my problem – isn’t that sad?

Nar and everyone else Hello there hope you are doing well! And congrats Nar on 75 days that is awesome and Patrice for 30!!!!

NoSugar thanks for saying hello and I used your mutiquote trick today…that helps!

J-vo - I hope you have a great vacation!!!!

Off to try to make something for dinner - I'm thinking of a spinach rice and cheese dish...can't really go wrong there - maybe throw some turkey sausage in. Not very summery but I've been in a weird comfort food mood lately. Made 'american goulash' the other day with macaroni, onions, ground beef and tomatoes...it hit the spot

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

patrice;1676164 wrote: Hi girls,
Friday,yay and last day for 6 and a half weeks, also day 30 af.
Jvo - I'm going to Cambodia for a week and then maybe Langkawi for a week and in between I will just stay here...
Have a great MAE..
Xx
Patrice

YAY Patrice!!!

30 Days is AWESOME and a major milestone - Congrats to you

:yay: :happy:

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar if you daughter goes to Victoria in September that is where i live and are you lying to me saying you live where you live when Victoria is only 1 1/2 hours from you. Dont you want to meet me? You can come to my Costco and squeeze my liquorice here.

Pat 30 days, congratulations lovely lady. So farking proud of you, knew you could come back eventually and get back to being af. You have shown great strength this time around girl and i know you will rock to those 60 days. big hugs.

Frances, i nearly died the other night when i seen on roll call that you had 12 days. i was like wtf happened to her other days, did i miss something and thank god i didnt miss a thing. My brother died 6 years ago or so from al and my 4 children always knew "uncle andrew" was an alcoholic. He stayed with us for awhile as i was trying to help him but we all know unless you want to help yourself it aint going to happen. I know they saw the signs in me and that is why they are so grateful for mwo in helping me stop drinking. My children know all of you guys and the support i have gotten off here. My nearly 21 year old is my worry but we talk openly about his drinking and after he turns 21 he is going to have a break. I know they like to party but i also know that he is genetically more likely to have a problem with al.

NS i have a cat called "molly" and she is white and loves to lay on clean washing. for years i have wanted her dead (not really) and she is not friendly and she is just a bitch but i love her. she is about 17 now, meows at me when i get home to feed her and meows when i wake up to feed her and probably meows at the boys during the day to feed her. no affection from her at all!

well i am at work and obviously dont want to work. crap week at work and driving so glad its friday. done my neck in driving so need to get some anti inflammatories. But its friday yeah!
xxx

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Patrice 30 days. Yeah.:wave:
Narilly that square dancing and wearing your western wear sounds really fun. I can just picture you square dancing in that puffy skirt. And the exercise is great too.
Ava I love that story about the bird. One of my clients has a bird. It's favorite thing tonsay is "What are you doing?" Oh it drives me crazy. But she loves that thing. As your lady loved hers. You are kind.
J-vo thank you. I wasn't having serious drinking thoughts, just a bit of well maybes. And when I have too many of those, I take it serious. Nip it in the bud.
Wwll in one way I consider myself lucky. I have no leftover friends from my drinking days. Not really. So any friends I have now just know me as sober. And I HAVE been making a few local friends lately in addition to my wonderful international jet setting friends.
Oh yeah, Nar we are going to a dude ranch over the 4th of July. It's a bed and breakfast that's close to the fireworks we are going to. Just a short stay this time, but now I know it's there, I plan on going on a longer trip later this summer.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, All:

I just bought the book The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beatty - it is 365 contemplations on co-dependency and sobriety. Imagine my giddy surprise when today's thought was titled "Surviving Slumps." What? Is Melody a secret loamer?? So, my dears, happy reading:

A slump can go on for days. We feel sluggish, unfocused, and sometimes overwhelmed with feelings we can't sort out. We may not understand what is going on with us. Even our attempts to practice recovery behaviors may not appear to work. We still don't feel emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as good as we would like.

In a slump, we may find ourselves reverting instinctively to old patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, even when we know better. We may find ourselves obsessing, even when we know that what we're doing is obsessing and that it doesn't work.

We may find ourselves looking frantically for other people to make us feel better, the whole time knowing our happiness and well being does not lay with others.

We may begin taking things personally that are not our issues, and reacting in ways we've learned all to well do not work.

We're in a slump. It won't last forever. These periods are normal, even necessary. These are the days to get through. These are the days to focus on recovery behaviors, whether or not the rewards occur immediately. These are sometimes the days to let ourselves be and love ourselves as much as we can.

We don't have to be ashamed, no matter how long we've been recovering. We don't have to unreasonably expect "more" from ourselves. We don't ever have to expect ourselves to live life perfectly.

Get through the slump. It will end. Sometimes, a slump can go on for days and then, in the course of an hour, we see ourselves pull out of it and feel better. Sometimes it can last a little longer.

Practice one recovery behavior in one small area, and begin to climb uphill. Soon, the slump will disappear. We can never judge where we will be tomorrow by where we are today.

Today, I will focus on practicing one recovery behavior on one of my issues, trusting that this practice will move me forward. I will remember that acceptance, gratitude, and detachment are a good place to begin.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

And now for my check in--

Today was my first day off for the summer - watched the soccer (sad/happy ending), did some things for the big family get-together (including the beer and wine - might have the siblings do that next time), and then went on a long hike with a good friend. All in all a lovely day.

But (to your wedding comment, Nar), I have to admit that I was triggered today. There are a lot of people on Facebook who I know who are traveling in Europe right now, and there are endless photos of delicious looking food with just the "right" glass of wine. Wine wasn't even my drink of choice, FFS, but dang if I don't go to feeling sorry for myself, mixed with a "well maybe in ten years when I can afford to go to Europe I'll have a glass of red with my fresh pasta." Of course that is just a fleeting thought, and I damn well know that I can't and won't have just a glass of red if/when I make it to Italy. Which brings me to the end of my drinking career that was so awful, and right back to feeling gratefully sober. Some days those thoughts come more often than others, and more and more days they don't come at all...

Well, I was going to write more, but my son just called for a ride home, so I'm off. If I have time later I will chat more, but if not, I'm off for the weekend again and will have a hard time posting (if we even have wifi where we're going). Happy SOBER weekend, and I'll try to not hit my sister with a brick (a.k.a. an Ava special).

BTW - Ava, you missed your calling as a counselor. Good thing you're where you are - where there are so many people who need your kindness and understanding. What happened to that course on counseling?

xo
Pav

[frances]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav great post about surviving slumps, thank you! I still feel like I am in a slump though the past few days have definitely been a little better.