Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks Roxanne, never even tought of that!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane - Congrats on 175 days! Love those multiples of 25, in addition to numbers that equal months, weeks, whatever - you know, every number is good come to think of it!

I know these last several days have been hard for you in many ways. I hope you do find some relief as you reach the end of taking the Avelox.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

daisy45;1677389 wrote: .
I have had 2 quits before when I got 67 and 82 days and I can't remember it being as tough.....but that's ok, because I feel the harder I have to fight for this then I will not give it away so easily.....does that make sense? Do I ever make sense?! I think that makes a lot of sense, Daisy. We all hit a point where we realize we have too much to lose. I think you reach that point earlier when you're aware that each quit is harder than the last. When I saw Jane post 175 days today, I thought, well, I'm sorry she's struggling in some areas right now but thank goodness she has so many days (yeah, Jane!!), there's just no way she's gonna cash them in.

patrice;1677302 wrote: Please give me some tips!Hey, Pat. I did a lot of visualization exercises before my first vacation AF -- pictured myself in situations I knew I would be in Not Drinking. I just kind of made up stories with me as the Sober Star. Then, when it came time, I played my part. It was much easier than you might expect. Also think about how proud you'll be when you succeed!

lifechange;1677352 wrote:
I am trying to learn how I do it but I keep sabotaging myself. I won't give up trying. As long as you truly want it (and I know you do) and are willing to keep trying, it is very likely that you will succeed. I agree with the person who said you need to get the AL out of the house. Don't make failure an easy option! Even if your BF drinks, perhaps he can make a sacrifice for you until you are securely AF. Another idea would be for you to commit to posting here or in the NN daily, no matter what - just report what happened and if it's needed, what you plan to change. Give yourself permission to have this be all about you for awhile. You are a 'giver' and last fall, wrote some of the most encouraging posts I ever read. But you don't have to be that LC right now. Let us help you for awhile :l.

available;1677365 wrote:
Well i am biting the bloody bullet and going to start yoga. I googled hot yoga and there is a place near me that had a special on so i spoke to Mia, my daughter, and she said yes ok.

Way to jump right in! I've not tried hot yoga but it sounds HARD! I'm liking yoga (finally) because I found a style that just feels good (Hatha) and I don't have to work so hard ! Let us know how you like it! It's nice you and Mia are going to do it together.

frances;1677381 wrote: OK I hadn't heard about this one and I am surprised! I may just have to read that...

narilly;1677300 wrote:
NS, that book sounds interesting. Th Big Fat Surprise. It's funny, they have been talking about adding butter to coffee on the news. I guess butter is back in style. I like butter and use it quite often myself. I like it because it's natural and tastes good.

wagmore;1677432 wrote: I just started reading Big Fat Surprise as well. It goes along with a small contingent of books that buck the trend in nutritional advice we've seen over the past few decades. Really good stuff so far!

I'll be interested in hearing what you think about it. I've spent the last 6 or so years unlearning my entire education (but I still don't put butter in my coffee !).

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi again, Ladies!
I really appreciate all the warm support and encouragement.
Daisy, I think you make a lot of sense. Along with being alone with the kids, the trigger you mentioned is my most difficult. I begin to feel better after a few days, a week and the hell I've been through is in the forgotten/pushed back. I'm absolutely flabbergasted, in the space I'm in now, that ANYTHING could ever get me to drink again, that I could for any reason make that choice. I am pissed at this point (finally, Jane!) but also very much afraid of how I will react the next time I am tempted--or begin to act without thinking. I have to read back in the Nest to see how you handled this last craving/urge. You are doing so well.
Jane, congrats on 175 days!

It went pretty well today with staying in the present moment. I pushed through and did a couple of errands I didn't really want to do but knew would be good for me as far as keeping busy.
I am having a hard time deciding what to do about the food as substitute situation--I know that sugar doesn't do me well and I tend to binge on food when not on al. Right now I am doing an anti-viral diet because of big problems I've had with cold sores-- and though it's not so restrictive, it does cut out a lot of the things I normally snack on. I know I have to just suck it up. But I guess it's similar to the problem with alcohol--I begin to feel better and forget how bad it was. What's with this short term/convenient memory?

NS, I will take up the suggestion to check in and write each day. That helped me a lot last time. I have started on the roll call again and am thinking about going to the Nest. I thought about it today, and read back a couple of weeks. I just know I can't keep up. But I could continue to read and post there every once in a while. I also want to post each day on the Gratitude thread. The gratitude has definitely failed me lately.

Love to all of you beautiful ladies.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

It is ok not to keep up and respond to absolutely everyone, LC. Respond to points that strike you, ask for help, whatever. You don't need to try to please everyone by mentioning their names. Over time, you'll probably respond to or question most people who are posting regularly but participation here shouldn't be a burden - it should be a relief! And our people-pleasing days need to be over .

I've occasionally felt "slighted" by someone on MWO and have to just deliberately point out to myself that this isn't all about me. And if the slight was intentional, I need to just let that person go anyway.

It sounds like you felt pretty dreadful a couple of days ago. Something I wish I had done and have since encouraged others to do is to write down in excrutiating detail exactly what happened, what you were thinking, how sick you felt, how you felt about yourself -- all of it in brutally honest detail. Then, promise yourself that you will always read it before you drink.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi girls,

Am guilty of not reading back but the wifi I bought for the week sucks and can only come to lobby and post from my phone. Just want to say 91 days and feeling strong. It's a beautiful resort and I'm handling seeing booze everywhere quite well. I'm not attending any pity parties just gratitude ones. Did yoga on beach this morning then beach aerobics. Very cool! At peace right now. Getting ready for dinner. You're all in my thoughts. Xxxooo

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello Lovely Loamers:

I'm baaaaaack.

I am exhausted after a lovely weekend with a giant group of family - all hilarious, irreverent, lovely people. I laughed a ton and most definitely stayed silly, even without the alcohol that they all had every night. At one point two days in one said "You're not drinking?!?" I think she was surprised because I had been so much fun nonetheless. She is definitely a big drinker and had a lot of questions for me, but it was all ok. They all said "that's great, you're so good." I kept saying "I'm NOT good" because the implication would be that I was adopting a holier than thou attitude, and I don't want to go there, either. They all drank too much but with one exception not too, too much, and all are "normal" as far as I can see. This was one event I was dreading when I first quit as I thought it would be nearly impossible to have as much fun as I always do with them, but it wasn't! Phew. I am exhausted, but not hungover or anxious. Double Phew.

I managed to skim back a bit. J-Vo - CONGRATULATIONS on your 90 days! Happy sober vacation to you, lovely. I hope you are enjoying the beauty, massages, swimming, etc., and not missing the booze too much. When I was pregnant I would sometimes order the fancy "mocktails" they usually serve at bars like that - delicious with none of the terrible effects of alcohol.

Jane - I hope you are feeling better! As someone who works with teens I am trained to take even mentions of suicide very seriously, especially if someone mentions the method. I hope you are right about the medicine, and I hope you are talking to your shrink as you mentioned. I don't mean to be an alarmist or make you feel bad for venting (that's why we're here for each other!), I just hope you're taking good care of yourself and remaining vigilant to thoughts like that. Hugs to you, and I hope you take alone time with NO guilt. Maybe you're an introvert - have you ever read the book Quiet? It is interesting to hear how introverts are discredited by some of our social norms - introverts need quiet to process and re-charge more than others. Maybe puppy eyes would respond to the science behind your needing to be alone?!

Ava - Glad you're getting rid of the knob and taking up Yoga. Have you read this ad for a Yoga mat on Craig's List? Very funny... You and your daughter will enjoy yoga, and if you don't, you should try another teacher. I've had to give it a rest for a while because of a shoulder and knee problem, but I'll be back.

LC - POST ANY TIME. That's why we're here. Collective gains mean that we're here along the entire path. I get wanting to escape from your kids - sometimes it can be stressful. There has been a huge increase in women with alcohol problems, and part of it may be the increasing demands on women to "balance" family and work. Very dang hard, if you ask me. Keep posting here, keep reading about this problem - knowledge is power.

NS - I never gave up cheese, butter or burgers during the "no fat" phase, so I am glad to see they are back in style. Thanks as usual for the edification.

Frances - I will check out that book, too. I have been a reading maniac this spring and look forward to more recommended books. I hope you're doing well.

Daisy - I get what you're saying. Some people write they don't know if they have another quit in them. Maybe the difficulty is saying the same thing to you and you're responding with strength of your own. Like martial arts - using your opponent's strength against him. Wax on, wax off...

Ginger - post, read, say hi, always welcome here.

Nar - what IS Canada Day? I have a good friend visiting her in-laws at a lake near Toronto, and the pictures of Canada are always lovely. So happy you made it through those nights without drinking. Your description of the deck party was vivid - it sounds like something I might have attended. Amazing how clear things become when we are not drinking.

LB - Are you on vacation now? Weren't you heading on another beach vacay with the doggies?

SL - Hi, neighbor. Hope you are doing well and that the girls on summer break are not driving you or each other crazy (my boys are OK so far, but I've kept them busy or I've been at work).

Wags and Patrice, hello to you, two, also. Sorry, I've run out of steam and memory...

Probably missing someone. My eyes are blurry after such a fun and active weekend. Managed a 5 mile hike on one day and a 12 miler on another, so I earned all of the delicious food we ate, and I feel rested and refreshed. I'll check in later.

xo
Pav

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo;1677591 wrote: Hi girls,

Am guilty of not reading back but the wifi I bought for the week sucks and can only come to lobby and post from my phone. Just want to say 91 days and feeling strong. It's a beautiful resort and I'm handling seeing booze everywhere quite well. I'm not attending any pity parties just gratitude ones. Did yoga on beach this morning then beach aerobics. Very cool! At peace right now. Getting ready for dinner. You're all in my thoughts. Xxxooo

Thanks for the update j-vo. You are doing awesome, you sound strong, and your vacation sounds really wonderful. Gratitude parties + yoga and aerobics on the beach = :yay:

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

just a quick check in as i am at work. Had a bit of a sleep in this morning, meaning i turned my iphone off as it would not slide to open and forgot to turn it back on. I did keep waking but thought "nope not waking really up till the alarm goes off". never did manage to go off so i was an hour late for work but i was not late because i was hungover, i was late because i slept in and what a great feeling that is.

Jane congratulations on your 175 days, its been great to be on this journey with you and my how we have changed and grown along the way. Sometimes i think its been a long journey but one well worth going on. Glad you are feeling a bit better.

Pav, i was getting worried about you girl, so glad you checked in and isnt it easier now to not be as stressed about social situations. I did read on the nest that Ican drank after 180 days and that shocked me but also gave me a wake up call that we can never ever be complacent on this journey to be af.

Wag, i think being single suits me so much better at the moment. I am learning to love myself so no room really for others. i am on a dating site, have been for years and never found anyone of real interest but that was in my drinking days. I may try the group meetings and see how they go as you are right they are more likely to be themselves. I have my dogs and children and that is more than enough.

Jvo glad you are having fun, shame about the wifi but at least you can pop in and just think of all the reading you will have to catch up on, i miss you.

NS i remember when i first came on here, well my last and final attempt at not drinking and someone told me there was a swearing thread i could post on. i was like mmmm wtf, got my guard up and i have still not forgotten that. oh thank god times have changed.

well today for me is 7 months exactly and its getting closer and closer to the year mark that i find it hard to believe. Hard to believe that i started on here so sad, lost, alone, anxious, depressed, drunk, defensive, angry, hurt and now 7 months later life is good. I drive to work and think "how the hell could i have done this daily with a hangover or still drunk", i try to remember what my life was like 7 months ago but it is blurred but i do know it was not good, it was very bad, i was at my lowest point. Now even if i cant remember exactly how i felt, i do remember that i never want to be in that spot again. Its a bit like childbirth, we forget until we go into labour again and then all the memories flood back. I wont be taking that first drink to remember what drinking was like and i dont want to.

well i had better do some work, mmm maybe not.

[Ginger999]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane, Glad you are feeling better. Great job on racking up the days!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow Pav 12 miles. I wonder if I could hike that far?
NS I find the visualization exercises helpful too. It helps me set in my mind how I am going to react to certain situations. And it was really helpful when I first stopped drinking. I has scripts ready and alternative drink choices firmly in my mind. Now its become just life. Thank God.
Jane I know you are going to feel better soon. No more deep water for you.
J-vo I'm so glad you are enjoying your vacation.
I'm just trying to keep up with hubby a little. He has a LOT of energy right now. And he's keeping very busy. His temper has evened out a bit. That's a relief.
It's wonderful to say I have no real drama right now. I am enjoying a little even patch.
LC you just keep coming here and telling us what's on your mind. It has really helped me through some tough times. I know many others who have had tonstart over a few timss and they made it. Of course you will.
I have been thinking about how lucky we are Ladies. We all have off switches and the courage to reach out for help finding them. There are people who aren't lucky in that they don't have the ability to accept help with their problems, so they don't find a way to hit that switch. Hope that makes sense.
Hi Ginger. I almost missed you.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

60 days for Wags!


CONGRATULATIONS, WAGS!

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND ARE GLAD YOU'RE DOING IT!

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning, Ladies!:sun:

I am happy to say that I had a good night's sleep and the sun is shining and it was so nice to log on here with a cup of coffee and read your posts.

Pav, you sound fantastic! You are fresh and relaxed and have added a lot to the foundation of your sobriety through the experience. I remember last year how surprised and pleased I was that I could thoroughly enjoy myself without al--even more so. Silly to the point of giggle attacks, like in childhood. And I am so much more confident with conversations/comments while sober. Funny how so many of us used to try and use al to build confidence. The Craig's list was hilarious!

Wag, Congratulations on 60 days! I love reading what you have to say--yesterday in the Nest I read your advice about taking 10 minutes to just feel your emotions, whatever they are and then moving on. Setting a timer is a great idea--10 minutes can easily turn into an hour!

Ava!!! Well done on 7 months!!! That is HUGE. :yougo: You are the proof in the pudding that it is possible to change the direction of our lives. You are so strong and your posts so inspiring. I have to say I'm glad you've got the man thing worked out for now--

NS, I am going to take the time today to write a journal of the past 6 months--or more like a timeline to see the reality of what I've been doing to myself and how it's affected my life and the lives of the people I love. Even the people I don't love. To be honest, it's something I've wanted to do for a long time, but haven't because 1. it's hard work, 2. I haven't wanted to completely face the reality. I will also write out some of the worst binges in great detail. A whole half of a year has gone by-- again a time of struggle and those damned GSR brothers. I think it's 3 years ago this month that I first signed on here. It's really time to give myself a fair chance.

Jane, glad you stopped those meds. Pretty scary the side effects that so many of these drugs have. What will you do about your physical symptoms? Or are they gone now? I'm glad you are beginning to feel better.

Hey, LB, so nice those little even patches. Thank you so much for your support always.

:l to Nar, Ginger, SL, Kailey, J-vo, Frances, Daisy, Patrice, Roxy, everyone else checking in here today. I agree with LB--I feel so fortunate to have you all watching my back. Thank you for not giving up on me.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1677670 wrote:
CONGRATULATIONS, WAGS!

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND ARE GLAD YOU'RE DOING IT!

Well done Wags!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

50 days of AF living, Daisy!
Keep doing what you're doing - it's working!!!