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    Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

    Kailey don't feel like you have nothing to contribute. Being able to reach back and give someone help achieve their goal is a big part of what keeps me going. Active here. It gives me interest. Sharing my experiences makes them a little more real. It keeps my quit strong. You are helping me by asking for help.
    Good to see you G-man. Glad you stopped by. Don't be a stranger.
    No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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      Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

      Having a little connection issue. Sorry.
      No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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        Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

        Hi, Ladies and Gentleman:

        Love the love here today.

        I do think that "that voice" is not as loud, but it is still there for sure. What is different for me now is that I don't hear that and suddenly feel sorry for myself - I can dismiss it much more easily. For NS it was 3.5 months, but for me it was much later. I would say that the end of my 6th month I noticed a shift. Part of it was going through my family reunion and having SO MUCH FUN - it was an event I was worried about since I quit in Dec. I also just feel good now because I am on summer break, so there IS that as well.

        I listened to the Bubble Hour today called "In recovery we find freedom." Obviously I thought of LB's re-frame of independence day. I can't recommend this episode enough! They DO talk about feeling sorry for oneself - both because we can't drink, and maybe some because we resent having to spend time on recovery. Someone on the show made an observation that stuck with me - we now have the freedom to make an active choice to look at circumstances a certain way - just as we have made an active choice to take the "road out of despair." We don't have to be Polyannas or pretend that we're happy all the time, but as sober people we have the choice to take a different perspective on things. I am not doing the conversation justice here, I recommend having a listen. I also posted another thing about it in the nest (the freedom from worrying about mental and physical health).

        I see that G has been by - I thought of you today because the guest on the freedom episode is a man who is a musician also. He seems to have a joie de vivre like you do - maybe you could have a listen. So great to have you stop by and to hear that your program is going well. We're all pulling for you, G, and we welcome you on this thread WHENEVER.

        Also good to see MR and Kailey here! Kailey - if we always posted when things were going great there would be no point in having this forum. A win for one is a win for all, but that doesn't mean that we all feel like we're winning all the time.

        You may all remember that I had a plan for one house chore, one good meal, and one exercise goal a week - so far so good. Painted a room today in preparation for a new couch coming on Tuesday. Just picking a color and painting was so much better than when I was drinking. I have given up on perfection - I didn't need to test eleven million colors or get anyone's advice, and the painting job didn't have to be perfect. It was all just good enough. That is what I feel the freedom from - my perfectionism.

        See, Kailey, I didn't answer everyone. I still do feel bad about it, but I know it will be ok.

        Happy Sober Sunday, everyone.

        xo
        Pav

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          Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

          Hi everyone!
          So much to talk about but I am too tired SO

          First of all- Way to Go Eloise!! 50 Big Ones! yahoo!! Proud of you!

          Kailey, keep coming back! Don't worry about answering anybody! We are tough broads, our feelings don't get hurt that easy. We just warn the best for you and each other.

          J-Vo, SL, yes I feel like we are sort of going through the same things too. Let's stick together and keep adding on our days!

          Pav, Jane had a nice colour blue you can use to paint. That is cool that you are sticking with your goal of doing one thing a week.

          Ava, have a great day at work tomorrow. What did that guy say when you got rid of him? Or is he still around?

          Hello G! Glad you got lucky and had a nice supper. Good luck in the program

          I am in bed, just changed my sheets.boy I love freshly washed sheets on my bed. So nice.

          Good night. This gal is gettin' up early for a Stampede breakfast! Yahoooo!
          Narilly

          "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
          "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

          AF April 12, 2014

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            Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

            Good morning Lovely Loamers,

            Nar, I LOVE freshly washed sheets-- we have the perfect weather for it now. I hang them out on the balcony and they are dry in an hour, crisp and smelling of summer. Ahhhh. Hope you have a nice sleep!

            Kailey, I am so happy to have you back. I know from very recent experience how hard it is to sign on when you're not feeling well. I think that has been one of my biggest obstacles in succeeding on this journey-- not wanting to bring everyone down, not knowing what to say, not feeling like I had anything to add. NS said to me recently, not to worry about anyone else for the moment. Just reply if something has touched you and you want to respond, otherwise use it to ask for help, to talk about problems/struggles/whatever, to be accountable to yourself. The truth is, I don't think our "downers" bring everyone else down. We feel like they do-- but as LB said, mostly it gives others a chance to reach out and help us, which in turn helps them, which in turn helps everyone. I have also been most successful when I've been a part of MWO-- so now I'm posting like Lunatic Linda! Some times I'm just talking to myself, but that's ok--it helps, too.

            Jane, love the colour blue--is the bottom picture a room in your house?

            Wishing you all a happy Monday. I'm going to take a bit of time to listen to the Bubble Hour--to our Freedom!

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              Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

              Hi y'all,

              Thanks for the good wishes everyone, it is very nice to read and much appreciated.

              Two takeaways from recent posts.

              1. Check out bubble hour freedom episode. (Thanks Pav).

              2. Wash me sheets.

              Have a great week everyone. There are no limits!

              G.

              'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

              Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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                Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                Damn i hate losing a post and here i was sniggling when you loamers did! Not sure sniggling is a word though.

                LC, well there is nothing wrong with lunatic linda. i found it was great to see what i thought written out for others to read instead of a journal which was just for me. Sharing is caring! Many a time i was writing to myself as no one else was on and god when they logged on they probably thought "bloody hell does she ever shut up". Answer was No, not if it helped me not drink. Have you watched the tv show "mom", it is a clanger, so funny. mum and daughter alkies and she has kids, ex's etc but does have some serious underlying bits to look at.

                Nar, i am so washing my sheets tomorrow before work. Hoping they will dry as it is supposed to be sunny tomorrow (info for Mr G) with wind also. Its so hard in winter to get a thing dry, looks like a chinese laundry at my house. Got rid of the man, he was a dweeb. i think i was going through a turning 50, must act my age, get a man, be normal, watch my f's and f's and i just realised i could not do that, i am me and i am happy single. he told me that he picked that i was a liar and bullshitter, i thought that was lovely, something to base a beautiful relationship on!. Oops sarcasm!

                Mr G how is the CBT going? I want to do yoga, have it organised with my daughter but my shoulder is playing up so going to drs to get it checked out and hopefully some free physio at work. i did happen to go for a lovely walk at lunch time though.

                LB reading your posts and sending you hugs, you sound relaxed and happy which is great. I hope work has slowed down a bit for you.

                well work is great, my village idiot boss is off for the week and the village idiot worker is not talking to me for some unknown reason. I so love my job!

                Daisy keep walking in our footsteps and that was such a lovely post you put up. It is a pleasure to have you with us and good on you for losing weight, i need to stop eating smarties and other bits of chocolate.
                AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                  Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                  Yo Ava,

                  CBT going good thanks. Another session tomorrow. It's basic stuff, but what i like is there is a structure to it and how you work it. I have a big workbook with exercises that we go through. It's good to keep going through the basics as we do, and there's another 4 weeks of it, well, probably another 1-2 CBT sessions per week left. It's about sitting with a craving or negative thought and managing it/reducing it before it becomes so stressful you're no longer thinking clearly. Yoga again friday. I reckon if you google free yoga/community yoga there's got to be some free or cheap classes around. It's got me interested.

                  That's a weird thing for that bloke to say. His loss!

                  Hope your working week vibe improves.

                  'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                  Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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                    Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                    Ava the village idiot thing is funny. Silence is underrated sometimes. Yes I am feeling relaxed and happy.
                    G-man it sounds ike a good program.
                    No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                      Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                      little beagle;1679886 wrote: Ava the village idiot thing is funny. Silence is underrated sometimes. Yes I am feeling relaxed and happy.
                      G-man it sounds ike a good program.
                      Yes it is LB. Get's a little tiring being in a classroom all week, but a good bunch of folks and a useful program. Financial education session was interesting today. Glad you're happy!

                      L8tr g8tr's.

                      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                      Comment


                        Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                        j-vo;1679747 wrote:
                        UnPickled | My story of self-managed recovery? from daily drinker to alcohol-free livingThanks for bringing that to our attention - I related to so much she wrote there. I read back a bit further and came across this, which also really resonated with me:

                        I have been reading about the ?transtheoretical model of behaviour change? (Transtheoretical model - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) and I can easily see how it correlates to my journey. In short, it identifies various stages of decision-making and behaviour changes as such:

                        Precontemplation (not ready) ? in my case, using wine as a daily antidote for stress and anxiety; enjoying the relief it brought; feeling very comfortable with my routine and experiencing no negative thoughts or consequences.

                        Contemplation (getting ready) ? I began to feel an acknowledgement and growing discomfort with the reality of my habits. I started to pay attention to the red flags (see below). I began watching Celebrity Rehab with intense focus (while drinking).

                        Preparation (ready) ? I got up the courage to assess my drinking patterns online (I used Rethinking Drinking - NIAAA) and received confirmation that I needed to make changes. I started trying to quit and failed each day. I took no steps to make myself accountable and did not reach out for help, but these initial unsuccessful efforts confirmed my worst fears. Not only could I not quit, but also not moderate or reduce. Throughout this stage, my intake instead steadily escalated and I began to realize where this was headed.

                        Action
                        (initiating change) ? for me, this was speaking honestly to a friend, starting this blog, and reaching out to the online community for help and support. I threw myself into the task at hand and little by little made it through each difficult day.

                        Maintenance
                        (supporting the change) ? I guess this is where I am at now ? you could call this ongoing recovery. This is a great place to be and many recovery advocates say the goal should be to engage in this phase forever.

                        Termination
                        (completion of change) ? remembering that the transtheoretical model of behaviour change is not about recovery specifically, there comes an end point where the change is complete and the new behaviours are effortless and normal. There are different schools of thought in the recovery community as to whether or not one can ever end the process. Some pathways teach that if you stop going to meetings and working their program you?ll either start drinking again or fall into the miserable life of a ?dry drunk?. Some pathways encourage striving for a point of supported closure on the change ? which does not mean it is possible to start drinking again normally but rather that you can go forward as a ?non-drinker? and be done with it. I don?t take a position on this ? at this point it doesn?t matter to me because I have a lot of work still to do and see myself in the maintenance phase for many years to come.
                        I can hardly remember the good old days of step 1 but I do know that steps 2 and 3 lasted for years. And like Unpickled, the end-days of step 3 were the worst of all - it seemed the harder I tried, the worse things got.

                        Anyone who even lurks on MWO has probably made it to step 3 and anyone who is posting sometimes but frustrated by starting over repeatedly is already on step 4! So even if you are feeling stuck and overwhelmed, you're probably well on your way to making the necessary changes. You are taking more positive action than you might think. Maybe just a few extra tools will be all you'll need.

                        Here is her list of red flags (all of which we've written or read on MWO, I think):

                        Unable to stop drinking daily

                        Unable to reduce or limit amount

                        Drinking alone

                        Shame about bottles in recycling bin

                        Hiding extra alcohol in cupboard

                        Continual concern about having enough alcohol on hand

                        Obsessive awareness of alcohol at every event ? planning when and how to get in the ?right? amount to get through the evening while still managing to drive sober to and from events, and appear ?normal? to the outside world

                        Becoming very agitated when unplanned changes disrupted my pattern ? specifically I recall a friend dropping by and my husband poured her a glass of wine. I began to panic knowing that it meant there would not be enough to get me through the evening. I secretly drank shots of scotch before bed to compensate. I felt guilty about resenting my friend for visiting unannounced.

                        Spending the last hour of work each day deciding if I would stick to my plan of quitting drinking or stop at a liquor store on the way home, all the while knowing I would certainly pick up more wine.

                        Rotating stores because I was embarrassed of buying wine every day, but never buying more too much at once because I was planning to quit ?tomorrow?.

                        Finding out that my drinking habits fell into the ?high risk? and ?heavy drinking? categories. I knew my drinking was only increasing, never declining, and I was running out of categories. Next stop: rock bottom. No thanks.

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                          Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                          Good morning (here). Thank you for all the kind posts. I didn't expect anything different, though, I know that the people on the forum are incredibly patient. When I think about it more, the reason I don't post when I have slipped up is partly because I don't want to bring people down, but also partly because I'm afraid I will read something that will stop me from drinking. WHAT?!?

                          Today is Day 3 for me. I feel great and have almost no concerns I will drink today. Which is good, because typically I really struggle to get three days in a row AF, but if I can do that I can usually get a streak going. I feel in my bones that this is no streak, it's my final quit, but I'm not going to get ahead of myself. I've felt that before and not been able to sustain it.

                          I just finished Furhman's book "Eat to Live" and am going to follow his eating suggestions for the next 6 weeks, and then we'll see. In a nutshell he recommends a pound of raw veggies, a pound of cooked veggie, one starch, a little bit of nuts, seeds or avocado for fat each day. No alcohol, caffeine, meat or processed foods.

                          His message is that eating this way is a natural way to return your body to optimal health. It reasonates with me, and seems like it will help reinforce for me that I don't drink. I've been almost paralyzed with fear about what I may have done to my healthy so I'm hoping this relieves some of that anxiety.

                          Anyway, it's good to be back. I will stick close.
                          You had the power all along, my dear.

                          Comment


                            Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                            MAE Ladies and G-man,

                            So, I've stuck to my summer goals (yea, Pav!) and my next big goal is to lose some lbs. I'm at a weight that isn't right for my height. 150 lbs for a 5'2" frame is not healthy. So I'm sharing my next goal with you all as I want to stay accountable!! Funny, I didn't gain any weight on vacation although I ate plenty, but I also exercised or did something physically challenging each day. But too much food will never end up in weight loss no matter how much you exercise...a wise woman once told me. I feel mentally ready to take on this challenge. So here we go!

                            NS, thanks for that "unpickled" post. I love reading her blog and other blogs now. There's so much out there and it's nice to hear stories from so many different personalities.

                            G, I've done CBT for my anxiety and it's helped greatly. Rewiring the brain is what it's all about. It takes time, but once you've got the method in place, you begin to progress. Glad it's going well for you.

                            Pav,
                            Glad you're sticking to your summer goals! I have done well, but now it's time to commit to another huge goal of eating the right amounts of the right foods.

                            Kailey, I'm on board with you as far as eating right. Let's do this!

                            Ava, darling...so true about the posting. It really helps me to get things off my chest, as small as that chest may be.

                            LB, I agree with Ava that you sound so at peace, friend. I'm happy for you. You better let her rip if you need to! Never keep it inside. We're always here for you.

                            To all the Loamers and Moamers, have a super-sober day. Love to you all.
                            Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                              Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                              Kaily, I applaud your decision to do that eating program. It's such a clensing diet. I'm vegan and I can attest to the changes in my body from eating clean. Lost 30lbs, no more high blood pressure meds, cholestoral back to normal, etc. I could go on and on. The last thing to clean up was my alcohol consumption. It took me 4 years to get to that final quit but I think I'm finally there and into 60+ days now. Your dietary changes will only help you! Like me, you may run into sugar cravings. I'd encourage you to fight them off. I didn't and I created a new struggle for myself that I'm dealing with now. I'm convinced that sugar is as bad as AL for my body. I know others here have diffent opinions and that's cool but for me sugar is a very bad thing. So you go girl!!! PM me if you want.

                              NS and J-vo, your insights are invaluable as always and thank you for the excerpts from Unpickled. I'm definitely going visit that blog.

                              Hope everyone has a great AF day. Off to walk the dog before the asphalt gets too hot for her tootsies!

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                                Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                                Ginger999;1679936 wrote: The last thing to clean up was my alcohol consumption. It took me 4 years to get to that final quit but I think I'm finally there and into 60+ days now.
                                Hey, Ginger, I fixed my diet before giving up drinking, also. What a contradictory way to live that was! (I stuck with the "red wine is good for you" BS, conveniently leaving out that the dose was supposed to be a max of 5 ounces/day ). I guess it is a testament to how powerful an addiction alcohol can be. It was so frustrating to me that I could make so many changes, some of which were sort of difficult but never overwhelming, but not that last one. Until I came here .

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