Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

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Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

El hello hello. this thread is called "ladies on a mission" so loam and we added the er for shits and giggles.

its just after 9pm here and cold and my shoulder is killing me so i took a valium and will be asleep before i know it.

Grumpy is ok if you dont drink. if you drank you would not only feel grumpy but ashamed and embarrassed and guilty and all the rest that goes with drinking. So take "grumpy" its much better to deal with.

Have a great day.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hahaa... yes, grumpy is better than drinking.
Okay, so I will be a happy grump then.
Chilly here too! Sleep well.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

and thanks for the loamers explanation!!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Eloise you are a loamer.
Well SD called last night. And came back to stay with us. Supposedly only temporarily because we are going to take her back to her home in a couple of weeks. I have seen so much evidence that we just can't ignore our addiction issues. All we do is run in a circle.
The list NS posted yesterday is what I was thinking about last night. Number 3 I do believe it was. Struggling to quit and not being able to quite get there. Not having any tools in our toolbox. Like trying to change your car battery with your bare hands. Not possible, at least for me. Having this place is my number one tool.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

wagmore;1680138 wrote: :huggy Eloise.

It's never fun to be in a funk, especially when you can't identify any real reason for it. Totally normal and human of course. Hang in there, be kind to yourself, and it will pass.

Yeah... a little better today. This too shall pass. Just feeling a little blue and a bit trapped.

[Ginger999]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good day Ladies and G. Crazy day for me yesterday. Took Mom who's not doing very well (82yrs) to doc, lots and lots of tests, the place I retired from called two times and wants me to come back and help them through fiscal year end (I've been gone two years) and I had company staying the night. When I drove in the driveway, I thought briefly how this type of frantic day would have sent me right to the bottle, but I walked in the door late and happy that I DON'T DRINK. Felt so good!

Keep racking them up you guys! El, glad you are a little less punky today and hopefully headache free. I had a tough time around the 40 day mark too. Each day/week seems to get better now.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Congrats to you on your 40 Cherokeer!

El, it's ok to have those range of emotions. Remember we numbed every emotion with poison? We had one emotion and it was called drunk. It's normal to have ups and downs, grumpy or happy.

Hi pretty Ava.

It's rainy in my neck of the woods. I'll check in later. Have a great day all!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ginger,
These are the kinds of things we love to hear! So great for you. Another Group Win for the Loamers!!!!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Cherokeer;1680114 wrote: Hello everyone, thought I would pop in and say hi. Hi
Great to see you here Chero (or is this you?) :H:

Congratulations on your 40 days and 40 nights of AF living. It's great to read about how much you're enjoying and appreciating your new life. It is especially impressive that you're succeeding when everyone around you is drinking quite a lot.

Kailey;1680161 wrote: Bottom line, I no longer find the happiness in a bottle of wine that used to be waiting there for me. There are so many negatives, and very few positives anymore...maybe just the first glass? Not worth trading my life for.Hey, Kailey. This is one thing I just don't get and I've asked people about before. Do you really enjoy that first glass - I mean, are you sitting around, relaxed and content, taking sips, conversing or perhaps listening to music, winding down from the day? By the time I was in "I've gotta quit this" mode, I was desperately gulping down the first glass and sometimes not bothering with a glass. It was not about enjoyment at all - it was putting out some kind of weird fire that was raging within me.

little beagle;1680178 wrote: ... Hubby and I both had a good laugh.
... Yes, yes I am, can't you tell? We both laughed.

LB, it is so wonderful to hear that you and the man are having good, normal fun together and laughing. You should be so proud of how all your efforts have helped you, him, and both of you as a couple.

scottish lass;1680189 wrote: I have 10 bottles in the garage that do not bother me at all (AMAZING), but just realized they have tried to deliver the last two and I have about 6 voicemails that I keep forgetting to call back......this would never happened a year ago!!!

That is awesome, SL. You are really getting your head in the right place .
If I were you, though, I'd collect your last 2 bottles and then get rid of them all. I've had a couple instances over the last number of months where I really don't think I would have taken a drink but I was glad that there was no wine in my house - just made it easier for me to make the right choice.

Ginger999;1680277 wrote: When I drove in the driveway, I thought briefly how this type of frantic day would have sent me right to the bottle, but I walked in the door late and happy that I DON'T DRINK. Felt so good!

Good for you, Ginger! It's amazing how much simpler life is as a non-drinker. Someone who has never gone through the planning and manipulation we did to ensure getting the fix probably can't imagine how amazing it feels to be able to do something as seemingly simple as drive a car at 8 p.m. It just makes me sick to think about all the time and energy I wasted controlling my environment all because an addiction was controlling me .

Hope you're all enjoying a great MAE - NS

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Goodness gracious, there's a lot going on here!!
I had a heck of a time getting on here this morning-- almost lost it waiting for a post to go through in the NN and then had to run off to work. We are also having crazy thunder storms and pouring down rain. It's warm though, so I love it.
Saw this and thought you all might enjoy it. Could be us in a few years if we start practising now!!

This Woman Just Broke a Marathon Record (P.S. She's 91 Years Old) | Women's Health Magazine

if not this, maybe we can do something else crazy!!!

El, I'm glad you're feeling better today-- and glad you came here to talk about it. When I feel down, I tend to panic. I don't know what to do with myself and I just want the feelings to go away. I'm trying to learn to deal with them, to just sit, if necessary, knowing they will pass at some point. Believing that this is also a normal part of life that every human has to live with. I haven't had to put it to the test since I last quit drinking--so you're helping me by sharing your experience. Did you just push through it or did you distract yourself?

Took me a while to figure out Farquad--:H Funny ladies here!!

Ginger, is it cool that they ask you to help with such things at your old job? Are you happy to do it to earn a bit of cash or is it a pain in the butt? It's great that you live close to your mother and are able to help her out. It's something I'm worried about, living so far away from my parents. I hope when the time comes, I will be able to head over and help them out, but I'm not sure it will really be possible.

SL, I have felt the same way at times-- but now, I am trying to write more for myself-- to clear things up in my head, to offer support if I can, but not expecting any response or acknowledgement. I keep reminding myself that this place is busy and everyone is in a different state of mind. I guess if I really need a response or help, I will try to ask directly for it. I read your posts carefully. I always like to hear what you have to say, even if I don't respond-- that goes for everyone, actually. Every word sinks in. :h

NS, your posts are some of those that help me the most to clarify what's going on. I love your straightforward, no bullshit, but empathetic posts. You walk the walk and it's obvious that you've been in our shoes... or at least in similar shoes.

Love to you all, J-vo, so glad you're back!, Nar, Cherokeer, great job on 40 days!!, Ava, LB, Daisy, Mr. G, Moss, Kailey, you're sounding strong! back on track!!, Wags, everyone checking in here today--

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi everyone,

It's great to see so many loamers doing well, propping each other up, etc.

On my end, things are going pretty well. I got past my trigger of loneliness last weekend and have been moving forward. My paddling team has another day of races this coming weekend, and about 50-60% of the team will be camping out together the nights before and after. I contemplated joining the camping fun, as it would be a way to get to know some team members better. However, I am concerned about the likelihood of a party atmosphere, and I don't feel strong enough with my quit to take any risks, so I'm going to skip that part of the weekend. Bums me out a bit but I think it's the best decision for me at this time.

I have to head out for work now but will check in again later and reply to more people directly.

Hugs to all! :huggy

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning to all you happy grumpy people Like J-Vo said, better that being drunk.
Whoa, it is busy around here!

Farquad, one of our favorites Life. It was Mike Meyers who came up with it actually and it took me going to Universal Studios to figure that one out!

Wags, probably good that you are skipping part of that weekend. Protect your quit, good idea.

NS, love the picture of Chero...who knew you were such a looker Chero! Way to go on the 40 days!

Back to work for this sober girl.
Talk to you soon.

Oh, I just want to thank everyone for the support before last weekend with the family. It really helped me not to drink. I LOVE my Loamers! So happy I didn't drink. It will be 90 days on Friday and Dr. Kelly says it takes about 90 days for the brain to get back to 'normal' like it was before drinking. If this is true I will be a total Rock Star on Friday. Haha!

Talk soon.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

lifechange;1680299 wrote:

El, I'm glad you're feeling better today-- and glad you came here to talk about it. When I feel down, I tend to panic. I don't know what to do with myself and I just want the feelings to go away. I'm trying to learn to deal with them, to just sit, if necessary, knowing they will pass at some point. Believing that this is also a normal part of life that every human has to live with. I haven't had to put it to the test since I last quit drinking--so you're helping me by sharing your experience. Did you just push through it or did you distract yourself?

-

I went for an extra walk after a morning workout.
I decided on that walk I was not going to bitch and moan anymore to my husband. We are still living in his bachelor pad after 2 years... no jobs for either of us here yet. Real estate is very expensive and I will never get a bank loan to be honest. They want you to have a contract for life. Good grief I do not want to work at the same place the rest of my life?!
So I feel like a bit of a corned rat in the apartment. So small. It makes me want to scream.

I just come to my studio where I have tons of light and space.
I also gave an art lesson this afternoon and it went very nicely.
And I wil be home alone for a while tonight, which also helps. At least I can clean.
That said, I am feeling better now.
Today would have definitely been a bottle of wine kind of evening. Tomorrow I give an English class and then have some other art related work, so it would suck to be hung over. Which I am not going to be.
Ah. I am not thinking about drinking now though. Not picturing it at all.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, GLOAMERS:

I think I hit some sort of turning point last night. I was out at a concert and honestly didn't want to drink. I didn't have a "why me" moment, no thoughts of "why couldn't I just have one." Very strange, and a night I honestly didn't really believe would come. These long termers always say it will come, so I played along, but REALLY? A night out at a concert venue and NO DESIRE to drink? It felt wonderful. During the slow songs I looked around to assess the drinking situation. Everyone standing near us (down front) was there the whole time - about three hours - with only that first drink in their hand. The rest of the time they were just listening to the music (or smoking weed, but there weren't too many of those, either). 7 months ago I would have had three drinks before even coming, and would have gone to the bar at least once (probably twice) during the show. Then I would have had to go to the bathroom, and most of my attention that night would have been on the booze, with the music being secondary. This time the music was all it was about. I drove home with no problems and had a great night's sleep. I really am truly amazed that this point came. So there you go, folks, it is not all bullshit. I won't get complacent, but I do feel a weight lifted last night for sure.

Nar - John Kelly says 90 days, but also that it can take much longer for the dopamine receptors to get back to normal. Just saying that because of the 100 day funk that overtook some of us. I hope that doesn't happen to you, but I want you to be prepared. You sound great - and I hope it is all sunshine and daisies!

Ava - Glad Farquad is gone - I imagine that the patience prefer it, too, as you can make them feel happy and comfortable as per your usual. BTW, how is Maddie?

SL - I DO remember that present. Amazing that they just sit there. I think I told you guys that I presented at a conference and my thank you gift was a bottle of wine. FFS! I didn't even drink much wine when I was drinking. Time to come up with a more creative gift...

Wags - that is a good decision to skip the camping. Check out Allan Kay's thread in the Just Starting Out section - it is about NOT "testing" yourself in early sobriety (or really in long term sobriety, either). Have fun at the race.

LC - I feel the same about your posts. And SL - I have felt that same way. WOW, Pav, that was an insightful post, only to find not one response to it. I just chalk it up to the fact that everyone is busy. If we had to answer them all we'd never do anything else. Sometimes I think being in CA is a disadvantage, too, because everyone is asleep when we post and then the next day starts...

Well done on 40 days, Chero - nice Bob Mackie getup.

Kailey - How are you doing today - days 3 and 4 can be hard because that old "I feel ok" thought can sneak in...

Hope you're feeling better, El.

OK, peeps, off to start my day. I DO love vacation! My house project for this week is to clean and make nice our TV/computer/music/lounging room. I painted and a new sofa is coming, but now it is time for a bookshelf and some more cleaning. Good thing the weather's not too great, so I don't feel bad about staying in.

Happy Sober Tuesday, all.

xo
Pav

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Eloise;1680322 wrote: I am not thinking about drinking now though. Not picturing it at all.

Good for you, El :l. I try to picture it like it really was, not the way it looks on TV, in magazines, on billboards... those photos lie to people like us.

This is more of what it was like for me: