Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Evening Ladies,
Star, so great to see you back. Now it's time to concentrate on you! Yes, it's all about you and don't you forget that. Make MWO and sobriety your priority and we'll be here for you. We aren't going anywhere. There were so many stressful things going on in your life, and to set the wheels in motion, I think you have to be able to make it all about yourself in the beginning. Maybe the middle and end too! I'm glad you're going to log on twice daily. A lot of girls here listen to The Bubble Hour, and it's easy to listen to and do something mindless at the same time. Or even exercise, garden, clean and listen. I just listened to the one about denial. Boy I was in denial for a very long time. It's a great podcast to listen to and relate to women just like us. Read lots, tell us how you're feeling lots, and take it one day at a time with you being top priority. In the beginning, I didn't worry about what was going into my mouth...let me rephrase that. In the beginning I didn't worry about what food I was putting in my mouth. I didn't care if it was loaded with calories, carbs, or sugar. I just ate when I wanted so that my stomach was full and I didn't have the "H" of HALT. When you're angry or lonely, connect with someone on here if there's no one to call that you're close with. When you're tired, nap! Keep those four things satisfied always in the beginning. So glad you're back!

SL, you're sounding like a complete rock star! Isn't it great waking up this way, day after day, happy, not yucky hungover? Your henna tattoo should read "ROCK STAR."

Nar, I'm still aware of who is drinking what all around me. I look, but it doesn't bother me much, I think like you now. Doing fun things like the races you went to and the game I went to last night are lots of fun now, aren't they? Before, I'd be worried about always having a beer on hand for these events. Now it's just plain fun. And Nar! 100 tomorrow!!!!! Woot! Woot! Big Partee'!!!!!!!

Have a great night everyone.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kailey;1684415 wrote:
Wags, I agree. "Happy" is taking on a new meaning for me. It's not quite as much of a high... I haven't broken out dancing with my husband on the back patio with music blaring while sober, and it was an almost nightly occurrence ... but I'm happier in a calmer, deeper way. More pleased with my life in general, happier with all my relationships, and definitely happier when I look into the future.

j-vo;1684457 wrote:
Kailey, the transition from drunken happy dancing to a more peaceful happy is a big change. But lately, I've wanted and felt that I could do some sober dancing. I'm doing it while on my treadmill where no one can see! It feels good. Glad you're being so productive on your day off.

Kailey and j-vo - Yes, this is exactly what I was talking about - a peaceful, calm, deep "happy" that I haven't felt in a very long time. So grateful for it! I'm not really dancing around about it, but singing in the car more, being nice to random people, etc. It's a good feeling that kind of perpetuates itself and seems to have its own energy.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

wagmore;1684641 wrote: Kailey and j-vo - Yes, this is exactly what I was talking about - a peaceful, calm, deep "happy" that I haven't felt in a very long time. So grateful for it! I'm not really dancing around about it, but singing in the car more, being nice to random people, etc. It's a good feeling that kind of perpetuates itself and seems to have its own energy.

I posted in the Newbies earlier....this is what I am seeing now!
I hear myself laughing and realise I never laughed so hard in a long time....it is a real heartfelt laugh that makes me feel good. And the good thing is the ripple effect.......I can see people looking at me and wondering maybe 'what is she on?', but they join in.
And, like you say Wag, just chatting and exchanging pleasantries just because.....It feels so good. I hid away from people for years and noone could have told me alcohol had anything to do with it, especially on sober days.....that poison lies in our systems so that it affects the drinking and non-drinking days of our lives.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

daisy45;1684643 wrote: I posted in the Newbies earlier....this is what I am seeing now!
I hear myself laughing and realise I never laughed so hard in a long time....it is a real heartfelt laugh that makes me feel good. And the good thing is the ripple effect.......I can see people looking at me and wondering maybe 'what is she on?', but they join in.
And, like you say Wag, just chatting and exchanging pleasantries just because.....It feels so good. I hid away from people for years and noone could have told me alcohol had anything to do with it, especially on sober days.....that poison lies in our systems so that it affects the drinking and non-drinking days of our lives.

Same thing with me re: laughing. I remember almost being startled by how good it felt the first time I really laughed after going through the hellish first few weeks of AF time. It struck me - I hadn't laughed so genuinely and wholeheartedly in a LONG time (years). So different than drunken laughter.

AF life is good for sure. Not always easy, but I figure (and others have said this) - a bad day AF is better than my best day drinking. I'm actually grateful, in a weird way, for my time spent drinking, as I think it really helps me appreciate the contrast - the small things - now in a way I might otherwise not have.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

wagmore;1684662 wrote: I'm actually grateful, in a weird way, for my time spent drinking, as I think it really helps me appreciate the contrast - the small things - now in a way I might otherwise not have.

That is the topic of the most recent post by the woman we read a week or so ago, Wags. One of her points is that compared to quitting drinking, many other challenges seem like a piece of cake!

I agree with you guys that it is just easier to be a nice person now and that comes right back at you 100-fold! I wouldn't even make eye contact with the grocery clerk when I was buying wine - now I usually chat with him or her and really enjoy the exchange. I also love seeing no wine in my grocery cart .

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wags, NS, I agree!
Life is much better being sober. Drinking was such a sham. I thought it was awesome, but it just made me sick and embarrassed.

I am putting on my clean sheets. Just bought new ones from Costco. They are Microfibre and 100% polyester. I hope they are good. I usually only buy cotton sheets with a high thread count. Does anybody know about Microfibre sheets? Anyway,they were $29.99 for King size, which is super cheap. I thought I would try them out.

I am so happy to be sober!

Have a great night everyone.
Xo

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Evening (for me), Ladies:

Star - Welcome back. We are here for you - whatever you plan or need, ask us. I read something about addiction that made sense to me - addicts use the language of shame on themselves, and that only makes it worse. You say that you're mad at yourself - but let's suppose someone you love messed up. You would let them know you were disappointed, but you would have compassion and would try to help them find a solution to the mistake. Maybe you can be kind to yourself - and that might help you support yourself better as you find your path to being without alcohol.

SL - I love seeing your avatar. I saw that you made 5 MONTHS but I couldn't post when I saw that thread (darn site) so I'll congratulate you here. Whoot! Great work, and you're sounding so strong.

Kailey - I think that even though your first instinct isn't to go dance with your husband on the back patio, I have found that sometimes things like that - things that require some social courage that alcohol used to give me - are MORE fun sober. I love dancing and hearing live music and was surprised to find that it is actually very much fun still. You might have to give yourself that extra push to get started, but once started, watch out! Happy SOBER Sunday.

Nar - I had Japanese food tonight, too. Yummy. I can't imagine a chuck wagon race. If you squeeze the Australian licorice, I'll eat it...

Wags - I understand that "grateful" part of the process of quitting alcohol. It has caused me to look at so many other things in my life. I am reading Augusten Burrough's memoir about quitting called Dry and just got to the part where his coworker is actually saying that she's jealous that he gets to spend so much time working on himself...

Way to go, Daisy! I love that uncontrollable laughter - it actually makes me feel buzzed because of all the goodness it unleashes. You're sounding strong.

J-Vo - Cool about the MLB game - baseball is BIG here, and I love going to games. They are a HUGE trigger for me - a cold beer at the park and all, but I've been to several this year and am starting to make new habits. Cool that he was on TV, and I'm glad it made Facebook. You sound great.

Ava? Oh, Ava? We need a gazette!

NS - Thanks for sharing that blog - it is an interesting question - who would we be without having been alcoholics? I'm not sure I'm at the thankful stage yet - I feel like I may have wasted opportunities that I am now discovering. But there is one thing for sure - I AM addicted to alcohol, and there is no going back. When I get regrets in my life my dad always says whatever happened made you who you are today, and that's pretty great. I feel like I'm finally getting that.

LB - Hope you're trip to NOLA (that's what we call it here) went well. Is your drive to Oklahoma today, too? Sounds like a difficult time, but I am glad you have a clear head to get through it.

Goodnight all, and anyone I missed. This Burroughs book is GOOD and I want to get back to it. I had another great beach day - the ocean here is FREEZING but it has been summer warm (up to 58F) so I spent a lot of time body surfing and playing in the water today. It feels so invigorating!

Happy start to your weeks,

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

x post again, Nar. I only buy cotton, too. Let me know how they are. Sleep tight!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav, these sheets are really Nice! It's amazing the new fabrics out there these days!

You sound pretty good yourself.mswimming in the ocean? Too fun! We are pretty landlocked here.

Goodnight

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Just can't get my posts to go through. Argh!!!

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,
I've been having a few probs getting on this site too!
Hope you are all doing well
Xx
Pat

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:woot::band2::rockband:
Nar...I believe it's a huge day for you my dear! Happy 100 days! Wow, Woot! and Rock Star! I'm so happy for you! You've work so hard to get hear, have silenced that voice many times, making right choices to continue on your journey. You're making it and happy while doing it!

Wags,
I bought the Eckart Tolle kindle version "The Power of Now." The reviews looked great. I haven't started yet, but I think it's time for some knew realizations and to continue this growth in my life. Thanks!

Pav,
I read "Dry" years ago and he's an excellent writer. I also read another one after that but can't remember what it was called. Enjoy. His story was sad but inspiring.

LB,
Safe travels! Hope you can check in at some point.

All the talk about laughing and just being is great. So true about being able to feel and see the contrast of the change in our lives so much more in recovery.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar, What a day for you! 100 days! You must feel fantastic! Enjoy those sheets tonight....love a clean, fresh bed......
Love your posts and you deserve every gift that sobriety holds in store for you.....go girl!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Narilly 100 days is huge. Congratulations. I saw Calgary on the weather map. The chuck wagon races sound fun.
Pav I remember how cold the northern California ocean water is. Very refreshing. Unlike our bathwater on the coast.
NS I thought about you yesterday. Remembering Viktor Frankl and how he said to live like you have already been there, done that.
I feel a bit bad about the way things with SD have gone. Could I have done things differently? Addiction is such a difficult thing. Fighting your own and helping someone else at the same time. I am still thinking this through. Maybe why I have been a bit quiet lately. Sitting with these complicated emotions.
LC thinking of you anf your family.:l
Ava you would meet up with someone at an interview like that, wouldn't you? I love your sense of balance. If not that job, another one.
Going to the French Quarter was difficult. The scene of so many past debaucheries. But doable and I am SO glad I woke up at 3 AM with no SGR. What a wonderful feeling. And a good night sleep will restore me. Instead of taking 2-3 days to get that anxiety calmed down and almost a week to sleep good again. WHEW. non of that. And back to work today. I am superwoman. My super power is not drinking.
catch up more later.
Sorry J-vo. Your wonderful game looked super fantastic. What a great experience.


Yeah it posted!!!! Lost 2 long posts 1last night, 1 early this morning.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

little beagle;1684807 wrote: My super power is not drinking.

It seems to me that you've done the best you can, LB. It probably is hard to believe that because you were unable to "fix" her. But you know deep down there is no way you can do that. She has to want to heal and do the necessary work. You've give her the best thing you could - a role model. :l NS