Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good to see you Humble. We've been thinking of you. Glad you are doing so well. Have a good time in Montana.
Jane I hope you are ok. I too wish my hubby could be a bit more supportive with my health concerns.
NS driving all those people through that storm sounds really scary. These kinds of things are just so much easier af.
Giraffe sounds like thecage thing is really important to your health system. I had a laugh over that one. The one on the wristband. Too funny.
Ava I'm glad you are having such a wonderful time with your mom. I went to see my Grandmother. Since I was raised in foster care, I haven't really known my family. And then with the drinking. It's so isolating.
I really feel like I am starting to connect to people. It's taken so long.
I had a bit of a tough trip out here. I know this is different for everybody, but I still have a tough time not drinking sometimes. We brought my sister some beer and so it was in the car as we drove across country. We had a flat tire and it took almost 3 hours to find a replacement tire. 3 dogs jumping around, getting hot in the extreme heat of southern Louisiana summer. Yeah a bit stressful and inwantee to pop one of those beers in the ice chest and drink it. Instead I took out my toolbox and tried different things. I persevered. And I am glad I did. It's just not worth it. I never regret not drinking.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

It does get easier as the days go on. tonight i was having a phone call with an old family friend and mum had her wine on the coffee table and i thought "mmm that would be nice to have while i am chatting". FFS where did that thought come from. I knew i would not act on it but those al thoughts never seem to be far away.

Lunch was really lovely today i must say but alas home time tomorrow and back to reality.

I had to get a new phone as mum managed to drop mine on tiles so i am still learning how to use it. will have to wait until i get home so my tech savvy son can find where my downloaded apps are.

glad everyone is doing well.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

x post LB but yep i can relate to those feelings but the thing is we dont act on them. we realise the consequences if we do and i know i dont want the life that i had when drinking.

You are sounding very happy and content LB, that is so good to see. xx I think we are starting to like ourselves and that makes life easier in general. Its a nice feeling isnt it?

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey Ava, that's why that WhatsApp I sent you earlier didn't go through!
What a great mid winter break you are having!
Xx
Pat

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

little beagle;1686774 wrote:
I had a bit of a tough trip out here. I know this is different for everybody, but I still have a tough time not drinking sometimes. We brought my sister some beer and so it was in the car as we drove across country. We had a flat tire and it took almost 3 hours to find a replacement tire. 3 dogs jumping around, getting hot in the extreme heat of southern Louisiana summer. Yeah a bit stressful and inwantee to pop one of those beers in the ice chest and drink it. Instead I took out my toolbox and tried different things. I persevered. And I am glad I did. It's just not worth it. I never regret not drinking.

Okay, little beagle,..... going to try and make you laugh now.
Ready?
When I read your post I understood beer to a bear.
I kept reading and thinking 'omg, three dogs and a bear in the car in the heat??? That sounds CraZy!!

omg, sometimes I scare myself!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pat u will need to whatsapp me as I don't have your number but now found the app. I'm a bit slow

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I did laugh Eloise. The bear would eat the dogs and a lot of the problem would be solved.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Yup LB! Silly... anything for a laugh!!

[rooniferd]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Loamers, no big news here, just checking in on Day 7 sober. It's a rainy/stormy day here in Raleigh so far, and I'm just piddling around the house cleaning up and stuff. I went to the farmer's market yesterday, so my fridge is full of healthy vegetables. I also bought myself a nice bouquet of sunflowers. I think it's important to treat myself well during this time of recovery. Recovery but also deep reflection about my life as a non-drinker. I'm taking Antabuse, so I have no choice not to drink, but the thoughts are still there.

Honestly, I don't know if I could even do this without the Antabuse.

I've had friends texting and calling all weekend. "Come to the deck. I've got wine!"...."Heading to the bar for a cold one. Join me!"...."Dude, we're at the tap room. Where are you??"....

I've been thinking a lot these last few days about how I can replace those friends/situations with healthy, non-drinking ones. I have some ideas. Like I mentioned before, I am thinking of getting sober as a gift - a new beginning - not a prison sentence or a misfortune. So many great things lie ahead, and that really excites me.

Hope you ladies all have a wonderful rest of the weekend!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Congratulations, Rooni
The more you perceive this as something you get to do, rather than have to do, the easier - and even more fun and interesting - it becomes. You're on the right track - just keep doing what you're doing !

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,
Back from a two-day family gathering to watch nephew play baseball. It was a nice gathering and great to see some extended family. It was bothersome in another way. My sister and her family, quite dysfunctional, and it really bothers me because I see my sister hurting so much. She craves positive attention, and she doesn't get it. She only gets emotionally beat on by her husband and her oldest son. It's really bothering me right now, as I've been crying a bit over it. I hate to see her hurting.

Giraffe, great to see you here! How was your trip to Germany?

LB, isn't it great that the journey in sobriety brings us new gifts all the time. It's like something nice is waiting on our doorstep for this new sober day. Now your connection with others is getting stronger. Sucks about the tire, and yes, we'll still have those fleeting thoughts that I beer would be quite nice. I don't know if that'll go away or not.

Ava, Al thoughts never seem far away. We have to be on our toes, girlie, and be aware all the time. i was thinking of what al triggers I have/had. Everything was an al trigger for me. Good or bad. I guess that's a good indication that I could never moderate.

Rooni, happy 7 days! Each day is a gift and I'm glad you're looking at it that way. The difficulties in the beginning will pay off greatly. Just remember, just this day.:goodjob:zwink:

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Everyone!

HUMBLE! So great to see you and so glad you are still sober. I was worried that you dropped off so quickly there had been a problem. So happy to see you doing well. We missed you!

Giraffe – great to see you here, too. Sorry about your surgery, and glad you are feeling better.

Patrice! Whoot! 60 days is great. I liked reading your post about what you learned about getting sober. It is NOT a quick road to instantly feeling good – that was a hard thing to figure out. Amazing stuff.

Roxy – Stealthy in your sobriety – 90 days! In AA (I know because of a book I just read) they give 90 day speeches. Anything to say?? Glad you’re here.

LB – Sorry about your craving. A cold beer in an ice chest on a hot and bothersome day would be a huge draw for me. I’m glad you brought your toolbox with you (☺) as you probably do everywhere. You do sound so strong and content.

J-Vo – I am sorry for your sister’s plight. It is hard to see family members not get what we think they deserve. My sister is dating someone who is NOT right for her, but she can’t see it. I’m glad you can be there for her from time to time.

Rooni – Way to go on 7 days! I hear you about the invitations. My advice is to continue with your plan that you told us – try to change your thinking from deprivation to gratitude. It sounds trite to say, but honestly, make a T chart of good things you gain from quitting drinking and good things you lose from quitting drinking. You will find that the first column is a lot more compelling.

NS – That drive sounds like a nightmare. I HATE driving in that stuff. The vanload of people are lucky you were there to drive them. Good for you for diving into the iPad!

Ava – Sounds like your visit was great. We of course want more goss about your meeting with Petrel. How did you recognize each other? As I asked in the Nest, did you bring your trainers? Heading for a 5K? Lucky you to meet an MWOer! I do remember your posts about your mother after your daughter’s wedding. It is so great to see you getting along, and having that important talk about your drinking. Given that your brother died of it, it must have scared her to no end to see you heading down that path. And I’m sure your being sober has given you more patience to deal with other aspects of her personality…

El – Hah – good laugh about a bear in the car with the pups. Hope you’re doing well.

Nar – What’s up with you? When does your daughter leave? Any more festivals in your plans?

Wags – Sorry about your coach and your woes. I have found that being sober has allowed me to have more confidence in situations like that, and to understand that I can only control my own behavior – not the behavior of others. Cultivate friendships with some of the other women, and never mind the coach, I say. I hope you’re feeling better.

Kailey – Early bed is necessary sometimes. Glad to see you staying the course.

LC – I hope you are looking forward to your trip to the lake with the girls. I love swimming, especially in lakes. Sounds delightful.

Star – Good on you for posting your struggles here – I hope you are feeling better. As they say, every craving you get through is building your sober muscles.

Daisy – Sounds like a great visit with the kids you fostered. I bet it feels great to see them doing well. Sorry about your family stuff…

Ginger – What’s new with you? Are those fires in your way?

Jane - Any news on your health? I guess it is the weekend. I hope you are feeling better!

OK – I think I got everyone this time! Phew.

I am back to work tomorrow. Not bad as I’ve had a wonderful time off, and I really like my job so I don’t mind going back to it (although I do wish it was about 80% since I do feel like it is too much sometimes)! You might be seeing less of me here, but not because I don’t love you all and want to hang out, but because I have less time. I am happy I made it through a summer vacation not drinking – happy to be facing tomorrow with a clear head and a lighter heart than I ever have.

Love you ladies (and gents).

Pav

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Rooni, 7 days! Great to get your first week in! I feel just like you do about the friends....Everyone I know drinks to excess! They would see how I drink as normal.
I have been thinking a lot recently about getting into situations where I will meet and socialise with sober people. I am more motivated to try new things where people I know tend to party a lot. I do swim, gym, and paint etc but these are not social activities.
Going to look into something more adventurous.....no idea what yet but need to add something....

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Humble - I wasn't around when you were here before, but nice to meet you!

Patrice and Roxy - 60 and 90 days are awesome accomplishments - way to go!

LB - I know you wouldn't really want the bear to eat the dogs! Just toss the bear - and the beer!

Rooni - I'm facing a similar text barrage this weekend. Friends are out partying on the water, having BBQs, etc. I consciously decided in advance to spend the weekend mostly on my own, catching up on work and hanging out with my pup, but that doesn't mean it has been easy. I miss being part of everything, and I really wish I could just join in and either not drink or just have a beer or two and leave it at that. Sigh. Strength and hugs to you.

J-Vo ? The situation with your sister sounds very difficult and sad - both for her and for you. I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. It can be really hard to watch things like this happening and to feel unable to do anything. As you know, you can really only help and fix yourself. Perhaps through modeling, you can show your sister that there are options available.

Ava - Really glad to hear you had such a nice lunch with Petrel and a great visit with your mom. Thoughts like you had about it being nice to just have a drink while chatting come in out of the blue, don't they? We will probably always have to be at least a bit vigilant, but you did a great job batting it to the side and moving on.

NS ? Driving in stormy conditions can be terrifying. Good job getting through it safely.

Pav - Thanks for your thoughts. I've come to the same conclusion about my coach, and am going to try not to spend any more energy fretting about it. I see her treating almost everyone else the same way, so I'm pretty sure there's nothing I'm doing to instigate things - I have to just let it go and let her own her own sh*t.

Star and LC - Thanks again for your support this weekend - helped me out a bunch. I hope you are both having good weekends as well.

El, Giraffe, Nar, Jane, Kailey, Daisy, Ginger, everyone ? Hope you're all doing well and having good AF weekends!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

daisy45;1686890 wrote: Rooni, 7 days! Great to get your first week in! I feel just like you do about the friends....Everyone I know drinks to excess! They would see how I drink as normal.
I have been thinking a lot recently about getting into situations where I will meet and socialise with sober people. I am more motivated to try new things where people I know tend to party a lot. I do swim, gym, and paint etc but these are not social activities.
Going to look into something more adventurous.....no idea what yet but need to add something....

Finding something adventurous sounds like a great plan Daisy. I think this is why joining my paddling team has been so helpful for me, in spite of the ups and downs with the coach and with the team's social emphasis on drinking. I'm sure you'll find something you love, and it might be something you never even considered before.

What you said about the people you know and drinking, this is similar to how I felt, and now the people I know see my *not drinking* as NOT normal. They think it's weird, stiff, boring, and way too reserved. Sigh... I think (I hope) I'm actually pretty interesting as a sober person, we probably all are, but I guess people who are drunk wouldn't see it that way.