Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Nar and J-Vo (and everyone):

I found this to be a great resource: The Bubble Hour: Relapse Prevention.

xo

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav I too am a counter and measurer by nature. Congratulations on that 8 months.
Ginger way to go. And you are contributing. You are showing us it can be done. 90 days is wonderful.
J-vo good for you. You have come a long way. You are so much better now. Actually looking forward to reducing medications. If that isn't recovery I'm not sure what is.

[Byrdlady]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

If this helps anyone from thinking she can moderate, I have never seen one person on this site practice successful longterm moderation. Never. Not one. If you really think about it, is drinking AL so important to you that you are willing to risk it ALL in order to play Russian Roulette with this demon? Al is like a rattlesnake, you may be able to poke it once or twice, but eventually it is going to latch onto you and not let go until it has sucked the life out of you. Remember WHY we came here, we wanted OUT. Dont play with dynamite....it will NOT work. Byrdie

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Now that's the J-vo we know and love!
Trouble getting on here today.....day 82 for me, last of my personal goals, so after today will be my longest AF time....and I reached my goal weight, so a good day!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav, my wingman, 8 months, way to go girl. I date/time calculate when i go to roll call or read back to when i posted. I just know those days are rolling by and am happy doing that. Every sober day is a good day.

J, garden variety, well i would love to be a sunflower but that is about all. They look pretty and you can eat their seeds so they are useful. You are everything plus more than what i said and i know some people try to beat you down and you stand up for yourself then eat yourself up about it but its time to spit those people out and go with your gut. You would never hurt a fly, just like us all but being sober makes us learn that we are good people who deserve to be treated like that and if it means telling it how it is then so be it. I know you will get there.

Well survived Tyes 21st, had to shower him after he vomited and towel him dry and dress him but thats what mothers are for. I was just laughing so hard and thanking god i was sober. it was a funny night. I did get told a few times i had to have a drink and tye said "no mum will only end up drinking more wine" and mia was saying "no mum doesnt drink" so they were my wingmen. Could not believe tye was capable of saying anything. I honestly could have had a drink and a few intense tugs were there but what would a few drinks too, i cant be normal.

Oh the mess is a joy to see and the stickiness of the tiles are something else. Tye is happily having a bath and feeling rather ill. We have talked about his drinking and decided that he would stop drinking but drink at parties etc. I can see an alcoholic in him but now the steps will be in place for him to accept this but at the end of the day only he can decide what is best for him but i will always be there.

Good on you Daisy for you milestones, it makes life feel pretty damn good doesnt it.

LB im always yelling, well not as much as before but my poor kids when they were little and yelling with a hangover, oh those were the days.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Way to go Pav, Ginger, Daisy on milestones...
Ava - you were always going to survive the party, good girl!
I drank last night. A whole bottle if wine, quickly as an alcoholic does sometimes. The trigger was extreme stress. I couldn't cope and wanted to get out of it as quickly as possible. I did and it felt horrible and here I am now on Sunday morning in damage control trying to sort out the mess I made last night with drunk texting.
I'm very disappointed in myself, I need to find a way of dealing with stressful events. I got used to dealing with day by day and week by week without wine but wow when something bad happens like it did yesterday I have no tools to deal with it...
I have no thoughts I can moderate, that's not in the picture and I'm not interested in it. I'm so proud of getting to 9 weeks without booze but sad I haven't figured out a way yet of the unexpected without booze.
I'm not giving up, I'm back on day 1 but have learnt heaps ... Just need to learn more..
Have a great Sunday!
Xx
Pat

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

You will get there Pat. Good to see it didnt achieve anything except remorse and guilt and made you feel horrible. I cant understand why we think we need al but i know i felt i needed it last night. I did have to hide a few times and i had shadow Mia with me also. I dont know what i would have done if i did not have their support so in that regard i am extremely lucky i have so much support with my children. We are our own worst enemies with al. Getting through it takes pure grit and determination oh and maybe a PM (please and thank you).

9 weeks is a huge chunk in being af so be proud of that. Drunk texting, i can thank god that those days are over and emailing and facebooking and drunk phone calls. Delete, delete and delete and move on, we cant change that one i am afraid except to apologise. I find with stress that one thing hits us and then a whole truckload follows and we just need to find a way to cope. Learning to be sober Pat is hard but doable and you will get it, just like J.

I am so god damn tired, tye has just come in for mummy cuddles and to watch a tv show in the comfort of my bed. Life is good.

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

daisy45;1689113 wrote: Now that's the J-vo we know and love!
Trouble getting on here today.....day 82 for me, last of my personal goals, so after today will be my longest AF time....and I reached my goal weight, so a good day!

Whoohoo! You must feel like a million bucks! Congratulations, Daisy!

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Today was really, really hard for a while. Weekends still are. Got through it though and the cravings have passed for the moment. My husband, who is normally very kind and thoughtful is throwing them back right in front of me. It's hard not to be annoyed with him, especially since he's starting to sound like an idiot!

[Ginger999]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pat, You still have those 9 weeks. No one can take that away from you. In fact I'd be willing to bet those 9 weeks are what made you get right back on that wagon. You are so close. You can do it. I know you can. Stupid triggers! Next time it happens can you come here before you open that bottle? Do you have a buddy here that you could have texted or called? For me, it's all about support.

Kaily, Sorry hubs is being a douche. Maybe it's time to sneak off for a nice bubble bath with some bubble hour?

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey Ginger and Ava and al..
Yes I have those 9 weeks and yes I could have come on MWO .. I was home alone not even at a party but I didn't want to because I didn't want to be talked out of getting drunk. Yes, I wanted to get drunk, not to have a wine with dinner or anything, I wanted to get drunk and forget my problems for that night. I did get drunk and I forgot my problems. And had that been the end of it then I could accept that.. Go for another long AF stint then maybe have if I felt like it have another bottle... BUT BUT BUT I've woken up this morning wanting more.. I opened the door, it's closed now but in the same way moderating thoughts went out the window a long time ago now the thought of just having a bottle every few months is out too..
My brain will never let me forget that I'm an alcoholic... This much I now know. I think most of you know this too
Anyway, I've sorted out the mess from last night, grovel led and apologized and onto my day... Thankfully that 9 weeks af means I'm not white knuckling or shaking or withdrawing, just tired and learning...
Thanks my pals, especially Linda
Xx
Patrice

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Haha that first line should read Ginger, Ava and All .. Not Al - bastard!!

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

patrice;1689150 wrote: And had that been the end of it then I could accept that.. Go for another long AF stint then maybe have if I felt like it have another bottle... BUT BUT BUT I've woken up this morning wanting more.. I opened the door, it's closed now but in the same way moderating thoughts went out the window a long time ago now the thought of just having a bottle every few months is out too..

I had the same revelation the other night as I thought my way through a craving. I realized that just like one drink is never enough, one night of drinking is not enough either. That's just the way I am.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kailey, thank you.. So spot on. Yes I'm the same , one night of drinking wasn't enough...

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ginger I'm glad you see this thing for what it really is. You know if I could just drink a little here and there, I would. But I can't do that either. When I see myself drink I ng, it's to get drunk. And wake up wanting more. And so on. So here I am.
Ava that sounds like a tough party. Glad you made it through in one piece. And you have Mia.