Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

post where you want to LC, wherever you feel comfortable.

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

That was a really good post, NS!
Another part of my problem is that I haven't had a solid plan. I have parts of a plan, but it isn't complete enough. Especially for my current critical time, which is around 3 weeks.
Do you remember if you were often reforming your plan during the first months?
How often do you think about it? I feel like I'm usually pretty diligent the first couple of weeks and then I start to slack--without really being aware of it.

Hi Nar!!
LB, I forgot to tell you how much I liked your long post in the Nest a few days ago.
I like that, Roxy. I'm looking where I want to go!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Great post NS.

And I'd like to add...I was feeling really down on myself for falling again. But just like everyone's program should be tailored to his or her needs, the rate at which we experience complete and full sobriety is going to be different. Do my kids at school master skills at the same rate? Now that would make my job really easy. There's a range of learners in my 8th grade and it's is very wide. Every child is not going to get it the same way or at the same time. Some kids need lots of adaptations and more time. It doesn't mean they're failures or won't make it to high school the next year. If I thought that way, and your child was failing, you wouldn't want me to be their teacher, would you? It means we (teacher/student) need to put more work in to this skill, to put more time into something, or take more time doing their homework with the support of a parent (if they even have that). I don't look at my needy kids and say they're a lost cause. They're never going to get it. I don't favor the kids that get A's. I work harder with the ones that need the help.

MWO is not a program that you get a grade in. We do in a way by the days, months and years we have in sobriety. The more time one is sober, the less of a chance of them falling. But if we didn't want to be here, we wouldn't. If we wanted to fail, and check out of life early, we wouldn't be here. I'd wanted to check out of life a few times. But I kept pushing through my challenges, getting the help of my doctors, working on CBT, one day at a time with depression and anxiety.

I'd earned all A's in college and you know what? That didn't freaking matter. That didn't matter because I still got a job. I was and still am a successful teacher. But I was always the last to leave a classroom when there was a test. It took me longer. I still got an A but it took me longer. I studied longer, too. Part of my perfectionism...yes. But I finished the test, I got the job because I kept pushing myself. Even when I got turned down for a position, I applied for another and another. I didn't just quit and say "Oh well, wasted four years of college because I got turned down." Oh, I know people like that. They give up. They get afraid and they give up. They stay in a job that's unsatisfying to them even though they know they should be elsewhere.

Another thing. If we were all born on the same day, would we all start to walk on the exact same day? Would we all begin to talk at the same exact time? Nope. Just because a baby at 10 months can begin to walk, doesn't make the one that falls or is wobbly until he's well past a year any less capable of being able to walk. That's seriously how young mothers perceive the development of their young babies and children. They compare them to other children of the same age. It makes them feel better I guess. Mine did this first so he/she's superior. That's the way we adults do it, too. We compare. That's so dangerous. To compare yourself to others. It's unhealthy. Should I compare myself to a beautiful, wealthy, famous model? WTF for? Would that make me feel better? No. Does that make sense to do that? No.

Yes, we have and need great role models. NS and Byrdie are great role models with different programs. Look to your role models and take what you can and what works for you and leave the rest. They're our rocks, and they feed us with great encouragement. But they need us too! I know they do. We need each other.

LC, Daisy, Moss, Pat, and whoever is having difficulty, come back. We're in this together. No one is judging anyone for not being perfect or having a perfect program. We'll get there. We'll stumble and wobble and hopefully won't fall with the help of each other. We don't expect to fall on our faces. That's why we're here.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

The most recent Bubble Hour is about the importance of service in recovery. Like anything else that is freely given, you end up getting as much or more in return. As you help others, you are organizing your thoughts and reaffirming your commitment. It can be a reciprocal, win-win situation.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LC i always picked chores that did not overwhelm me and ones i did not associate with drinking, which was practically everything. I just needed to feel that i wasnt lazy and i was actually doing something. Then i stayed on here, reading and reading. Our bodies are healing LC, my opinion with mine was to let it heal. Some times i cleaned like a maniac and that was when the white knuckling occurred and i had to do anything to keep my mind of drinking. After 8 months i am finally walking and i love it but i wasnt ready before. Each day is different not drinking, even now but thank god those thoughts of drinking are less and less. I can go anywhere and not want a drink but then be thrown in a situation (like tyes birthday party) where i associated greatly with drinking and that is where my "wingmen" came in. This weekend we are having a family dinner and thats fine, its not a situation that i associate with getting drunk and god i have my 4 support people there so no way would i dream of touching a drop. we will have a catch up though on my sobriety and how it has been going. They are realising that being sober and staying sober is not just to stop but takes hard work. I am lucky.

Roxy i could never look back riding a bike i would surely have fallen off but very very true. I do have memories pop up and i shudder but that is all they are memories. memories i have these days make me smile.

NS you are a treasure to me and a wealth of support, i would not be here without that gentle shove of yours to really stop drinking and pick a quit date and jump in. i am forever grateful for that PM a few day before i stopped.

TFIF is all i can say. Physio today for my shoulder which is so much better but im thinking in the future at some stage, months away that i may just join the gym. New Years seems fine.

[roxane]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

i would like to say that the look where youre going thing is factual. i was taught it when learning jumps on horses and riding round bends on my bike.

i meant it relation to people drinking made us look and then some followed where they looked.

how do people always seem to bump into the only obstacle around them in those videos?
because they were looking at them, really. theres probably a scientific formula for it.

hope that clears it up a bit. im not very good at explaining what i mean.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

It makes sense to me, Rox. I set my sights on Byrdie, Kuya, and FallenAngel when I joined MWO, listened to what they said, and asked a lot of questions. Other than a couple people who started at about the time I did and are no longer here, I really can't tell you who has come and gone. But I know where those 3 are - all continuing to live full, AF lives. And that's my goal.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

roxane;1693271 wrote: something i learned when riding horses and bikes is

look where you want to go, not where you dont.

little kids with their training wheels off for the first time nearly always seem to head for that bush or tree and hit it.

YES! This is exactly what I was talking about with "you get more of what you focus on." Focus on the positives, the freedom, the joys of AF life and that's the direction your life will go. Focus on the struggles or challenges, and you'll end up in the weeds.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1693299 wrote: It makes sense to me, Rox. I set my sights on Byrdie, Kuya, and FallenAngel when I joined MWO, listened to what they said, and asked a lot of questions. Other than a couple people who started at about the time I did and are no longer here, I really can't tell you who has come and gone. But I know where those 3 are - all continuing to live full, AF lives. And that's my goal.

NS - I did the same thing by setting my sights on YOU - partly because we seem to share lots of similar interests in nutrition, brain chemistry, etc.

Thanks for your lead!

[Rivergal]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi everyone. Survived the dentist. Novocain has worn off & I feel like I have been punched in the mouth. Only Day 4 for me, but not thinking of reaching for the JD to ease the discomfort. A couple of Motrin will do with a cold tonic & lime. No AL! Reading everyone's posts really help me- so many wise & intelligent women ( & men).
Wags, thanks for listing your "12 steps". Much of what I am doing- anything we can do to love ourselves emotionally, by forgiving & pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps & living an HONEST life ( I find it much easier to be loving & honest when I am not drinking AL ! )and physically by eating healthy, whole foods to nourish our bodies while avoiding poison. Trying to keep it simple....
Thanks for listening.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

G-man posted in his thread...the responsibility I have in life is...To Live and to Give. Love that. We can't live without being sober. And giving back to others is a big component in recovery. Bubble Hour that NS posted. Good talk. I think that's why people in recovery are so much more giving and loving, because they practice that service component daily and it becomes a natural part of everyday living. Serving others is important to that person you're giving to and the feel good stuff is inevitable for yourself.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Rivergal,
Glad you survived the dentist! And day four! Good for you!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

River, hope you feel better soon. I have so much trouble with my teeth so I totally get the whole dentist thing.
All of you helped me so much when I came back to MWO. I had been here many times before but when I found the Loamers that is when it really clicked. I am so thankful for this thread.

J-Vo, part of giving is supporting each other in this thread and helping them on their road to sobriety. You have helped me so much. Thank you.

Jane, along with NS! You are doing pretty darn good staying sober.

Off to bed for me. Good night.
Xo

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

River - Bummer about the dentist but great job not using Al to numb the pain. Hope you feel better soon!

j-vo - Love G-man's post that you shared - to live and to give. That about sums it up!

Ava - Great idea to have your "wingmen" along at parties or other events!


On my end, I'm about to head out of town for a weekend of paddling races. I think I mentioned before that my own team isn't competing, so I'm paddling with two other teams who needed a few additional people. I've been able to practice with both teams and have met some great people. One of the teams is a party-hearty team but the other seems much less that way. I'll be spending most of my time with that second team, and I'm really looking forward to the weekend.

I'll be off the grid for the next few days but will be thinking of you all and keeping you in my pocket as my own personal "wingwomen" I will not drink, no matter what.

Have a great weekend everyone and I'll catch up with you next week!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'm glad you ARE here with us LC.
Thanks NS. Helping others helps me tremendously. It's one of my tools.
Have a great time Wags.
You too Ginger.
J-vo enjoy this time with your hubby.
Roxy keeping the eye on the prize.
Sorry I don't have a lot to say tonight.