Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks guys.....
I worked really hard and as far as I can see, did do what was needed....reading, posting, exercising.....
I realise now that as those last couple of weeks when I got stressed out, that I 'still' had not accepted that I couldn't moderate....on convincing my girls on that first night that I would only drink at weekends, I, just like every other time, was drinking nightly.
Accepting that this is what 'my' particular problem is where I was kidding myself. I am not rolling round making a fool of myself every night, not drinking on waking, but, as soon as I drink, by not having the control to stop drinking on a nightly basis, I have my personal problem with drinking.
I spoke with my daughter last night........turns out she knows me better than I thought.....she knew I was going to drink before I did.....she knew that I would convince them it would be better this time.....
She spoke of how sad it is to see the difference in me once the drinking is back....how I look, being disinterested and not taking care of myself.
I realise I need to be more open with the children so that they can help me to help myself......they don't have the knowledge that I do about alcohol problems and by withholding that info I was actually controlling my situation in order that I could drink again......so I laid it bare and told her everything.......

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy, it's wonderful that you can talk to your daughters openly. I can't remember how old they are? Did you begin by talking to them or did they confront you? My eldest is almost 13 and though we haven't talked about it, I can see it in her eyes that she struggles with me. At some point I want to talk to her, to both the girls.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Mine are 18, 19, 21 and 23. I started by telling her how I started drinking, losing control, and finally have to accept that I will continue on the same path or quit. Told her I now know the mind games are over and asked her how it affected her.
She remembered that when they were all young that they got together and wrote me a letter begging me to stop......I never recieved it, or maybe chose to not remember? She told me she loved me and I was still a good mum......but she wants my sobriety for me....very tearful....I feel a little lighter today though....

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning!
Got up early this am with no hangover, of course!

I see Daisy you posted , yay! Good to hear from you.

Ava, so glad you did not drink.

Hey, I don't have time to catch up cause I am going to the market so I will catch up later.

Xo

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey... something fun, not related to not drinking, but related to happiness!
A happiness app....

The Happiness App - The New Yorker

I am going to start using it and see how it goes (and share with my darling husband naturally!).
:thumbs:

:shocked:

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Happy UnHungover Morning to you all:

I LOVE this post from Momastery: Give Me Gratitude or Give Me Debt. A great reminder of how to go through life.

Happy return, Daisy. So glad for your conversation with your daughter - it was a relief for me to tell anyone the truth, and I'm sure having your daughter on your side will be wonderful.

Hi, NS - yes, I'm feeling less blah. Starting back to work is a jolt to my system - even though I love my job all of a sudden I go from one thing at a time to a million things at a time. When I get home my body literally feels like it is buzzing - like I've been riding a bouncy bus all day long. That was the feeling that alcohol soothed so well. I no longer think of alcohol to calm the buzzing, I turn to exercise and mindfulness.

Off to a family birthday party. I'll be back later this afternoon.

xo
Pav

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS & J-vo, I am feeling a bit better, still really tired, thanks for asking.
I cannot express how surprised I am with my husband's selfish behavior. It is really quite amazing. Today he said something like 'you had your surgery and I am stressed from all the work here.' Hello, it is cancer for xyz sake. He can stop working, go to bed and not drink a bottle of wine until 3:30 AM, but I cannot choose not to have this skin cancer. He even said something like 'isn't this what your dad had?' Yeah, so? I think he is just worried and maybe scared and this is how he deals with his fears?

I don't know why he is being so mean, but I am happy he has gone to his mommie's by himself. I know it is a man thing, my dad still insists my mother doesn't have MS. I get so angry with him. I told dad I was still tired, he has been through this many times, and he said it is in my head. I just told him people react differently, we are not all the same (thank god). Story of my life, I have never had much compassion from my family. Or any really.
Leave it.
I am just going to leave all those negative emotions in the past and be happy to have a quiet even. ah, quiet! Nice scented candle burning, peace. I wish you all a peaceful evening too. And no running around tomorrow either.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Loamers - I do pop in from time to time, and read almost daily - so glad to see all keeping the mission!
Eloise - not wanting to stick my nose in, but your recovery does seem to be wearing you out - have you been able to speak to your doctor? It could be that you are low in iron or something? Or need a little extra boost - it could be the anesthetic that is having some lasting effects - I think maybe it is time for a check up?
LC - hi!!! I have a (very nearly) 16 year old and a 13 year old - both girls. They are aware I don't drink - I have not told them I am an alcoholic. There is such a lot of talk at their age at school, and I would love them to grow up with a healthy attitude about drinking. That being said they are pretty aware. When I order something when we are out - like AF beer, or even a pelligrino last time - my eldest checks the bottle and smiles. My youngest used to check my green dots on the calndar. When I ask them if they prefer I don't drink they heartily say yes. They are supportive, and in return I am able to talk with them about the problems of drinking - like drinking & driving, and the problems that could arise around sex and it feels good to be able to be role modelling fun without drink. My 16 year old is getting interested in alcohol - not drinking, but lots of questions and it feels good to be able to answer rationally. I have said that I drank too much, and did not like the effect on me or the way it made me feel, and they take that easily.
NS - I cannpt believe it was only a week ago that i was still on my holidays and you were just finsished - seems like months ago.
it is so good to see everyone here - I am coming up to 6 months and know that I owe so much of getting to this place to the support and friendships made here:l:l

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Scottish Lass- i return to have the stitches out next week. They said it might take as long as a month to feel better. I did have a bad reaction to the anestetic. I even have bruising on my legs, strange. I have a history of seizures and I think it brought on a petite maul seizure if you want to know the truth.
I am not bringing this up as when I take the medicine it makes everything worse. I havent had a seizure that I know of in years, since last week I mean. Just going to take it slow.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks for indulging me and that makes some sense. I understand about the meds - but a petit mal and the effects of anesthesia could definitely make you feel the way you are, and with the stress/worry on top. Be gentle and kind to yourself, try not to take in what others say that bothers you (yep, really easy said I know...) - listen to your body and let it heal :l. People really don't give the effects of anesthesia enough credit. My daughter needs her wisdom teeth out and i was asking so many questions - the surgeon eventually said you seem more concerned about the anesthesia than the teeth removal - well yeah!!!!!

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Yeah, I am trying to listen to my body. It is amazing how deep I sleep in the afternoon.
I am in a new marriage in a new country & we just moved. I only have my husband and unsupportive family in the US. So, normal I feel stressed pretty much all the time. I will get through this and am just grateful to be sober. I think otherwise I would really be in a dangerous place, I know it.

And they really dont say much about the anethetic before hand. They were a bit freaked out after though, but I didnt loose consciousness... Just could not say much for a while. Glad the worst is over.

Wisdom teeth are such a bad joke of nature. good luck with this. X

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

daisy45;1694127 wrote: Thanks guys.....
I worked really hard and as far as I can see, did do what was needed....reading, posting, exercising.....
I realise now that as those last couple of weeks when I got stressed out, that I 'still' had not accepted that I couldn't moderate....on convincing my girls on that first night that I would only drink at weekends, I, just like every other time, was drinking nightly.
Accepting that this is what 'my' particular problem is where I was kidding myself. I am not rolling round making a fool of myself every night, not drinking on waking, but, as soon as I drink, by not having the control to stop drinking on a nightly basis, I have my personal problem with drinking.
I spoke with my daughter last night........turns out she knows me better than I thought.....she knew I was going to drink before I did.....she knew that I would convince them it would be better this time.....
She spoke of how sad it is to see the difference in me once the drinking is back....how I look, being disinterested and not taking care of myself.
I realise I need to be more open with the children so that they can help me to help myself......they don't have the knowledge that I do about alcohol problems and by withholding that info I was actually controlling my situation in order that I could drink again......so I laid it bare and told her everything.......

Good on you Daisy. Us alcoholics can be sly and devious when it comes to al. i was a nightly drinker, not during the day unless out and then it would carry on at home. i have not even tried to convince my kids that i can moderate they know it would be bullshit and they dont tolerate bullshit in any form (bit like me) but i am totally honest with them about how i feel. When i do/did feel like a drink, when that first thought started they are the ones i told so they could squash it. They have their memories of when they were young and i drank, some are not nice and we talk about that. They remember telling me to 'stop drinking" and me not listening. i wish i did. The one aspect i do realise is that my children are not dumb or stupid and they deserve the best mother, i wish i had stopped drinking when they were younger, fuck i wish i never drank at all..........

[Rivergal]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Getting ready for pizza on the grill with my daughter, son in law & granddaughters. Walking the dogs, bath time, kids to bed, then Scrabble. Day 6 & feeling really tired. Board games always meant drinking. Not tonight. Happy sober weekend to all so you.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

River, way to go! Day 6 and no drinking tonight.

I bought some non AL pear cider from IKEA today and it is very good. It kinda tastes like there is AL in it but there is not. I am drinking it with my popcorn.

Ava, that's what I love about you, you just tell it like it is. I bet your kids appreciate that.

Daisy, we can't erase the past but can make a new future. We have all done things in the past and hurt people we love because of AL but it's in the past. We have to keep putting one foot ahead of the other and do the best we can now. Your kids love you, it's a great day not to drink. :l

El, SL, anesthesia scares the crap out of me too. I always have a million questions about it. El, please take care of yourself. I can't imagine how hard it is to be living in a new country with a new husband.:l

I am going to watch the Monuments Men now. I think it was you El that was watching it. I love Matt Damon, the hunk that he is!

J-Vo, hope your day is going well.

Thanks for the link Pav. Hope you had fun at the bday party.
Exercise is great although the class I did at lunch yesterday was all stairs, squats and lunges, I am having trouble moving. Holy crap! Before I would have used this for a great excuse to drink. Now I am just going to have a bath with Epsom Salts and read the book Pav was reding called Dry by Augusten Burroughs.

Talk to you soon!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy good for you. That talk with your daughter is important. I think having a family member help you, be a big part of yoir support is important.
El I hope you feel better:l. I'm sorry about the lack of support. And my hubby is very abrupt when he is concerned. Not the right reaction. But I have learned over the years what it means.
I use bill pay with my bank to pay some of my bills. Where you tell them who and how much and they pay the bill. I put in a new merchant, then the first payment. Neglected to verify the decimal. What was suppose to be a small payment of $17.06 well you guessed it. $1706.00. I will not have access to banking until at least Thursday. And on the day of my little celebration party. I was very grateful that I was able to deal with all the details with a clear head and come home, get ready for the party and still have fun.