Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi,

River - 6 days is wonderful. How is that BBQ pizza? Do you make your own crust.

LB- What a pain in the neck that is. Sorry! And Jane, I'm with you. I thought a lot of things would be totally different when I quit drinking - in particular the morning aches and pains, and forgetting things. Turns out sober brains aren't perfect - WTF?

SL - Great to see you pop in. Can't wait to have a big party on your six month anniversary. It is hard for me to believe that three weeks ago I was staying in my pajamas until 10am and hiking all day. I LOVE vacation! What you talk about with your girls sounds a bit like what I talk about with my boys (15 and 12). Actually, we don't talk much about my not drinking but we talk about alcohol and how it can affect people.

My older son went to meet a new friend at her house with another new friend, but I ended up picking them up at a coffee shop. He told me that everyone at the new friend's house was high and they didn't want to be around it so they left. Phew! I was a follower when I was his age, and pretty much joined in on whatever everyone was doing. In addition to avoiding the drugs, I was impressed that he had the strength and independence to just leave.

The birthday party was fun - parents had beer, but I had soda water. Went to a dinner party tonight - three couples total and one of the women got pretty drunk - made me SO happy to be getting the keys out to safely drive my family home, knowing I wouldn't be feeling like crap tomorrow.

Nar - I LOVE that feeling of working out until sore. I have to find a way to get that with a bum knee...


OK - Good night everyone.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi,

River - 6 days is wonderful. How is that BBQ pizza? Do you make your own crust.

LB- What a pain in the neck that is. Sorry! And Jane, I'm with you. I thought a lot of things would be totally different when I quit drinking - in particular the morning aches and pains, and forgetting things. Turns out sober brains aren't perfect - WTF?

SL - Great to see you pop in. Can't wait to have a big party on your six month anniversary. It is hard for me to believe that three weeks ago I was staying in my pajamas until 10am and hiking all day. I LOVE vacation! What you talk about with your girls sounds a bit like what I talk about with my boys (15 and 12). Actually, we don't talk much about my not drinking but we talk about alcohol and how it can affect people.

My older son went to meet a new friend at her house with another new friend, but I ended up picking them up at a coffee shop. He told me that everyone at the new friend's house was high and they didn't want to be around it so they left. Phew! I was a follower when I was his age, and pretty much joined in on whatever everyone was doing. In addition to avoiding the drugs, I was impressed that he had the strength and independence to just leave.

The birthday party was fun - parents had beer, but I had soda water. Went to a dinner party tonight - three couples total and one of the women got pretty drunk - made me SO happy to be getting the keys out to safely drive my family home, knowing I wouldn't be feeling like crap tomorrow.

Nar - I LOVE that feeling of working out until sore. I have to find a way to get that with a bum knee...


OK - Good night everyone.

xo
Pav

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

morning loamers... I think you guys are mostly still sleeping.
I slept quietly and having a good morning so far. You know, I think all this upset is really about my husband. I think he is provoking me and then I react negatively to him. I am really okay. This I find quite worrisome, how am I to deal with him? Ignore him? Empathize with his unhappiness? Trouble is his friends have already told me he is often without work, also unhappy in the Netherlands and talking about moving abroad. It makes no sense to move to a foreign country if you do not have work lined up. He just isn't making sense. Just thinking about all this gets me all stressed. You know we moved into my studio because he wanted to rent a big house (2200 euros per months plus heat, electric etc... probably around 3500 per months before we eat anything). He isn't working. I am working and earn pennies. Does this make sense?
Lordie. He is the one going up and down, not me. He has even suggested to give me money to leave him in case I feel trapped. Good grief we just got married. I don't care if he isn't working, I DO care about this doom and gloom point of view. I cannot stand it.

What do I do? Look for a job abroad and hope he thinks it is a good idea?
Well I already did that he and was like 'cute, but no... "

One more week and he starts a parttime job, he will have a routine then. I pray he will be better. There simply is nothing for me to even apply to for work. I can't speak Dutch well enough to work in the language. This isn't even acknowledged.

Mind you I do understand it is the first time in his life he is responsible for someone else. I get it. Not a good situation. It is also the 2nd time I depend on someone else for money, and the first time did not go well. Besides being a kid I mean. If I try to talk to my dad he makes a joke of it. "You two will figure it out" or " Are you two having trouble?' I am at a loss.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

morning loamers... I think you guys are mostly still sleeping.
I slept quietly and having a good morning so far. You know, I think all this upset is really about my husband. I think he is provoking me and then I react negatively to him. I am really okay. This I find quite worrisome, how am I to deal with him? Ignore him? Empathize with his unhappiness? Trouble is his friends have already told me he is often without work, also unhappy in the Netherlands and talking about moving abroad. It makes no sense to move to a foreign country if you do not have work lined up. He just isn't making sense. Just thinking about all this gets me all stressed. You know we moved into my studio because he wanted to rent a big house (2200 euros per months plus heat, electric etc... probably around 3500 per months before we eat anything). He isn't working. I am working and earn pennies. Does this make sense?
Lordie. He is the one going up and down, not me. He has even suggested to give me money to leave him in case I feel trapped. Good grief we just got married. I don't care if he isn't working, I DO care about this doom and gloom point of view. I cannot stand it.

What do I do? Look for a job abroad and hope he thinks it is a good idea?
Well I already did that he and was like 'cute, but no... "

One more week and he starts a parttime job, he will have a routine then. I pray he will be better. There simply is nothing for me to even apply to for work. I can't speak Dutch well enough to work in the language. This isn't even acknowledged.

Mind you I do understand it is the first time in his life he is responsible for someone else. I get it. Not a good situation. It is also the 2nd time I depend on someone else for money, and the first time did not go well. Besides being a kid I mean. If I try to talk to my dad he makes a joke of it. "You two will figure it out" or " Are you two having trouble?' I am at a loss.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

little trouble with the site, sorry for duplicate post.

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Ladies,
just a quick check in from me to keep myself accountable and wish you a relaxing Sunday. I hope everyone has a nice day--didn't yet have time to read back from last night-- busy day with my daughter, but will check back in this evening. Hugs to you all!

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

This is a very confusing, difficult time Eloise. I empathize. I too am an independent, do it myself person. Depending upon someone else is very frightening for me. Your hubby having work and a routine will help. And no spending money you do not have doesn't make sense. I too have that issue with my hubby. The credit companies just started giving him credit. I had to nip that in the bud. Quickly. I just take it day to day. It's really all I CAN do.
Jane I use to hide things from myself. Now I just misplace things. :H
Pav your son sounds like a young man who thinks for himself. Good for him. I'm glad he left. And called you. That has to be a great feeling. Glad you had a good party. And yes when someone else gets too buzzed I am so thankful it isn't me wondering the next day if I made a fool of myself, not even too sure exactly what it was I did.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

little beagle - well it isn't that he was planning to use credit, but spend from savings instead of thinking things through and waiting until he (we) is (are) working. Note: as soon as we moved into my art studio to live he starts whining that he cannot believe he is renting something. Well, I was using the space for free for 18 months for art, his cousin owns the house and we could have moved in and not paid anything. We have done the honorable thing and pay her rent to help to pay the bills for the house, logical. And I MUCH prefer to give it to his cousin instead of a random stranger. These are tough times, and he doesn't have much family. A bit more than me, but not much. We don't use credit cards, thank god. That gives me a little perspective, it could always be worse. I guess you have been married a long time? Doesn't make much difference though, now does it? Probably good I can't run away just now, well, I guess I could but that wouldn't solve anything either.
And, we are in a good position believe me, but all he can see is stormy skys. I think he is getting more and more depressed about not working.
i am just going to try and be patient.
And take a nap. When in doubt, take a nap!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning Loamers,

Last night was great. Had gf and her hubby over for dinner. And I made the dinner! The one speciality of mine is pasta with clam sauce and damn, it was good. Fresh pasta, fresh clams. Yummy. GF brought salad and dessert. It was a pleasant night.

Daisy and SL, that's so great to be able to talk to your kids about what's going on or even in a more general way, just the bad affects of alcohol. Our kids worry about us more than we thought, or more than I thought. DS is being much more pleasant with me after having some discussions. I know when he got mean with me he was very worried and upset about my drinking. Makes complete sense.

Nar, I read 'Dry' a long time ago. What a dysfunctional family! He's also another excellent author. I read another book he wrote but can't remember what it was called.

El, sorry for all the stuff going on with DH. I'm glad you've got some quiet time away from each other. Sometimes that's all it takes. Have you talked about the situation with him? Told him how you felt? I think with men, when they're feeling insecure, they express it in the exact way your DH has been doing. Self expression can be hard for them, especially if they've never really learned how to communicate that way. I know that's been a problem with me and DH. But I see how it's been a problem for him from based on his family's lack of effective communication. That's a tough one. Keep strong girlie and keep napping! Oh, great article on the Happiness App! Interesting and not surprising that those kinds of mental exercises work wonders.

Pav, another great article. So true how we always feel that if it doesn't look right, it must not be right. Going along with what others think is right is not necessarily right for us, especially in regards to alcohol. We need to do what's right for us and do what makes us feel right with this world. It's a load off one's mind when we can just be ourselves and not worry about so much stuff that doesn't even matter. I'm getting ready for that craziness to begin next week. Next Friday is my first official day back, but I'll be going in several times this week to get ready. Wish me luck! I just wanna be able to take it one day at a time at work and not bombard myself with everything and try not to be perfect. That's going to be a new concept for me.

Rivergal, glad you made it through last night and made it to day 7!!! We could pair our drinking with just about anything. Board games, cooking, cleaning, watching a movie, reading, working, eating, dancing...

LB, so true that we are going to run into stuff like you did, we'll make mistakes even with sober minds, but it's the way we can handle these problems now that makes all the difference. Glad you could still celebrate!

Have a great day.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kelly Clarkson - People Like Us

I saw this suggested as a good "Sober Anthem":https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yWbMz_aBlMU

It made me think of everyone here - sticking together :hug:.

[LostSoul33]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,
Hope you don't mind that I join the group. My mentor (and saving grace) NS suggested I pop in. Today is Day 9 for me and although I am feeling tired and a little foggy, I am so proud of myself for attending 4 drinking events this weekend without the desire to even have a sip of AL. I happily stuck to my Perrier and stevia (plant based natural sugar that I add to every drink to make it a tad more interesting) and had a great time! I did, however, manage to eat everything in sight but I think that's ok for now.
Anyhow, I look forward to getting to know each of you and plan on getting up to speed with what's been discussed. Heading to a yoga class then some grocery shopping and a 6pm AA meeting-- I am in the process of trying different ones to see if any are right for me. I am a relentless alcoholic and need all the tools I can get to get kick this disease once and for all.
Wishing everyone a fantastic Sunday. Thanks for having me! ))))

[LostSoul33]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Love this!!!

NoSugar;1694571 wrote: I saw this suggested as a good "Sober Anthem":https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yWbMz_aBlMU

It made me think of everyone here - sticking together :hug:.

Blasting this song and loving it!!!! Thanks for the boost NS. :wave:

Much needed and appreciated!!!!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Welcome LostSoul,
This is a great place to be. And you sound like you're keeping busy. Four drinking events is a lot of drinking events. Be careful of those and which you choose to attend. If the focus is just drinking, then I'd be careful and think about making other plans. It's easy to get swayed so early in the quit. But glad you're feeling so positive. Welcome to the Loamers!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Welcome lost soul! We are happy to have you here.

El, hang in there with your hubby. Maybe he is going through Pam's. I swear, men go through it too. My hubs gets pretty cranky sometimes. Drives me crazy. Hopefully it is just a phase.

J-Vo, supper sounded great, Yum! Glad you had a nice AF night.

Thanks NS for the link. You too Pav.

Rooni, hope you are doing well.

Hello Daisy and Pat.

Ava, have a great day at work. Hope your arm is good.

LB I have had hung over teenagers around my house this weekend. I keep aying and thinking that I am glad it's not me. It is hard to watch.

Anyway, bed time.
Xo

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1694571 wrote: I saw this suggested as a good "Sober Anthem":https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yWbMz_aBlMU

It made me think of everyone here - sticking together :hug:.

Playing it loud and proud!

Hiya Lost soul!

Day 20. My only way out is through, and.......................loving it.

Take it easy out there.


xpost. Yo Narilly!