Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[LostSoul33]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks j-vo. Drinking at these events was barely a central focus; however, my alcoholic mind would have thought otherwise. The reason why I am exposing myself to social environments where alcohol is involved is because the last time I quit I practically isolated and the minute I had to face the real world I wasn't in the least prepared. I agree with staying away from bars and heavy drinking friends though.
Btw the meeting was very interesting tonight and I think I met some sober acquaintances, I need more non drinkers in my life right now, if only we were all in the same city....

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Everyone:

Welcome, Lost Soul - NS is a good mentor to follow!

El - My sister read a book about depression being hidden in men. Any sign of that? I am sure being busy with work will raise his mood. What a lot you are going through!?

The Booze Free Brigade (a group on Yahoo, I think) have in-person meet ups in different regions. Maybe we could try that some time. One woman was describing trying to tell her husband that she was paying money to fly on a plane to meet a bunch of people she had never met...

Rock on, G. I like those numbers with 0 at the end.

NS - Too late to listen to that song for me today but I'll try it in the morning.

Had a BUSY weekend, which I was a bit stressed about, because it included a big birthday party for a good friend this afternoon/evening - SUNDAY! It actually turned out to be wonderful and I was very happy that I got out of the house. Having fun on Sunday can help get me out of the Sunday anxiety that I sometimes feel. Plus, this morning I was in a funky mood but I got myself out and exercising and that helped a lot, too.

Hi to the rest of you. Hope your weekends were smashing.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Everyone:

Welcome, Lost Soul - NS is a good mentor to follow!

El - My sister read a book about depression being hidden in men. Any sign of that? I am sure being busy with work will raise his mood. What a lot you are going through!?

The Booze Free Brigade (a group on Yahoo, I think) have in-person meet ups in different regions. Maybe we could try that some time. One woman was describing trying to tell her husband that she was paying money to fly on a plane to meet a bunch of people she had never met...

Rock on, G. I like those numbers with 0 at the end.

NS - Too late to listen to that song for me today but I'll try it in the morning.

Had a BUSY weekend, which I was a bit stressed about, because it included a big birthday party for a good friend this afternoon/evening - SUNDAY! It actually turned out to be wonderful and I was very happy that I got out of the house. Having fun on Sunday can help get me out of the Sunday anxiety that I sometimes feel. Plus, this morning I was in a funky mood but I got myself out and exercising and that helped a lot, too.

Hi to the rest of you. Hope your weekends were smashing.

xo
Pav

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning Lovely Ladies,
My girl wore me out yesterday! I was so tired, I dropped into bed around 10. Did manage to read posts ahead of time and the article you posted, Pav. Loved it!! I've got my perspectacles on this morning, and when I looked in the mirror, I actually saw someone I like and am beginning to believe in again (despite the grey hair and belly!, my two normal bitching points).
Pav, I just want to say that you are one of the people I admire so much and am following.. you are showing the way, continuing to accept the ups and downs of life, using found methods and finding new ones to deal with stress, the blues, anxiety. I also often have that Sunday anxiety (as do my girls when it's school time) even though Sunday should be a day of relaxation and rest. I know what you mean about going to work after a long break! Wishing you the best this week..

Rivergal, Congrats on getting that first week under your belt! Very well done..:goodjob: I am also sooo tired at the moment. Though after 9 hours of sleep last night, I'm feeling refreshed. At least until 3 or so!!

El, how are you doing today? You sure have a lot going on in your life-- not only moving to a new country with a new husband, but becoming sober and surgery. You are strength!!:l You're doing such an amazing job, Eloise. You can't be responsible for how your husband is acting, and it doesn't have anything to do with you--it's his stuff. I agree with what the others have said, and you can support him, but only as much as you can. I don't have any great advice, except that I think you should continue to take care of yourself. Like you said, you don't have a lot of support there, so you have to look out for yourself. You have almost 100 days sober, which is a great gift you've given yourself. Even though we are all far away, you have a group of people here who are your friends and care very much about you-- Let us know how you are..

Welcome Lost Soul! Great job getting into the double digits!! It's so nice to have another
Gloamer!

Mr G-man!! 20 days is awesome and so happy to hear you're loving the journey.. I feel the same right now. Early days, but I feel the acceptance upon me and life is good. Especially with these perspectacles I acquired last night!!

Daisy, how are you doing today? Thanks for sharing about your daughters. I know someday I will be able to talk to mine openly and I look forward to that.
As for now, I am leaning toward trying to show them an example through not drinking. I'm terrified for the day they are encountered with alcohol through friends or a party. I try not to think too much about it and am hopeful that they will be strong like Pav's son is showing himself to be, instead of falling prey to peer pressure. I'm terrified because I began ruining my life around the age of 13-- and I know I should try to worry too much in advance. But I do...
Like you said, SL, it would be nice, I guess, if they could view alcohol in a normal way. I just honestly don't know if it's possible. And my eldest, though she has such a strong mind, has OC tendencies. And the youngest, difficulties with showing/talking about emotions. OK all I can do is show by example, be open to conversation, I will definitely talk to them sometime in the near future about alcoholism and addiction in our family. I guess I'm waiting to be firm on my feet first. Ramble.

NS, I wasn't able to watch the video, because I'm out of area-- but will try to find it somewhere else. What were you up to over the weekend?

LB, funny-NOT!-with that darn decimal point. Would've scared me to death, as I'm always on the edge with money. Did you all have a nice celebration? I am always very much impressed with your ability to support and accept hubs and still be able to take care of yourself. I have often taken on my BF's actions/problems as a reflection of myself or something I've been doing/not doing. Come to think of it, I've done that with a lot of people. I'm working on letting people have their own stuff.. I can try to be there for them, support them, but everyone has to deal with their own. Most importantly, I have to deal with my problems, so that I can be a better person. If I can't help myself I can't even really begin to honestly help someone else.

Nar, you're sounding really good. Did you like Monuments Men? Speaking of Matt Damon, have you seen Good Will Hunting recently? I watched it again and loved it--such an amazing roll for Robin Williams and MD. How old are your kids? Does it freak you out to have hung over teenagers at home? Is there anything special you do, make breakfast, etc., or do you let them be?

Jvo, hope your week of getting ready for school goes well. Is it a bit exciting to meet a whole new group of kids? I'm excited for you this school year-- it will be full of the usual challenges, but you have sobriety on your side now!! I've been meaning to ask you if you have a mentor at the school? Or some teachers that you get together with to talk about problems/solutions. Must be, I guess.

Ava!! how are you holding up today! Hope Monday is treating you right, dear..
and Wags, how was the paddling weekend? Looking forward to hearing about it.

love to you all!!

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Xpost, Jane.
Damn, you have had a lot of major things going on this year. I understand what you're saying about just wanting to know what the heck is wrong with you. Having symptoms but no cause is so hard to deal with. A good friend of mine was diagnosed with lupus when we were 20-- when she knew what she was dealing with she was able to take the steps she needed to take to live with it. And she has a good life!! I hope your doctors help you to find out what's going on. I'm happy to hear your husband's health has improved so much. And like you said, it is human nature to be more affected by what we have going on inside our own bodies-- of course we can always empathize with others and their illnesses, addictions!, but until we're living it, can't really know what they're experiencing. :h to you, dear Jane! I really hope you get some answers soon. It will relieve a lot of stress to know what the heck it is you're dealing with.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh Jane, I am so sorry to hear about this. I have a friend/colleague with Lupus. Let's think positive, wait and see, perhaps the doctor will have some good news for you in the coming days. I will be sending you lots of white light and positive thoughts. My goodness, a bit too much I would say.

Lifechange: doing okay today so far. Hubby returned home in an improved state of mind. As J-vo said sometimes a little bit of quiet time is all it takes. Hard to say. If I didn't have this forum I hardly know where I would be. You ladies are really a life saver, literally.

Jane I am really just digesting your post. A fever for 3 years? How is it possible your GP was not alarmed?

I am going to get my day started and check back soon. Try and stay calm as best you can Jane and I will do the same.

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Aw Jane that is terrible - thinking of you and really admiring your for staying strong during such hard times!

Pavati, I like the BFB's idea of a meet-up - I'll be watching this space for developments!

Lifechange: My new favourite word is now perspectacles. Love it!

xox all Loamers

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning Ladies,
Enjoying one of my final quiet mornings with coffee and Loamers. Life will change drastically shortly, but like all of the other years, i feel much more calm about going into a new school year. I always have anxiety about it, but I'm going to take it one day at a time just like I am with recovery. It's true, recovery teaches you so much more than just not drinking.

LC, we are in teams at our middle school. We have 5 people per team, two teams per grade. We have three grades 6, 7, and 8. I'm grade 8 and I love my team! The teacher I had to work with last year was moved into emotional support, and I had many issues with her. They replaced her with a great learning support teacher whom I really like. The rest of my team is like family to me. We do lots of group hugs in between classes when we need them.

Jane, I'm sorry to hear about the possibility of lupus. My girlfriend who was here Saturday night has lupus. She's lived with it for years and she's doing great. I know it flares up from time to time and she can't go in the sun. But she's learned to make changes and she just does what she needs to do. I hope your news is good and it isn't that condition. Keep us informed.

G, glad to hear you're doing so well on day 20!

Doing more prep work today, then tomorrow will go into school to start setting up. Have a great sober day ladies.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Narilly anyone hungover around me just reaffirms how glad I am it's NOT ME.
Jane I too would think your Dr. would be concerned about running a fever for 3 years. You spend so much time and effort to feel better and yet you still feel shitty. I'm so sorry. I hope once and for all you can find out what is wrong.
LC money is always a big concern at my house. I just sometimes live day to day as I get paid daily. But if I was still drinking, this would have been devastating. I too think talking with your children is important. Letting them know what alcohol is and how it works. It'll give them some idea when they reach the age of making those important decisions. My daughter was not drinking for our little party and it was a very happy, nice atmosphere. I think she enjoys being around us now.
Perspectacles. I love that new word.
Enjoy your calm J-vo.
Mr. G. glad you are happy. You sound posative.
:welcome:Lost Soul. Glad you are here.
Eloise you are really being strong. I admire you. And I too think dogs add a huge something to our lives. I'm so glad for mine. I hope hubby can stay in a good frame of mind.
fun song NS. I'm going to listen again when I get home from crazy today to destress.

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi again, Ladies,

After a power nap and a yummy green salad with lots of stuff in it, I have the energy to think again.. I have been so friggin' tired in the afternoon around 330. Ughhh.. I hate being tired during the day!! Went to the library to pick up some more films (real oldies!) and am so looking forward to my big girl returning tomorrow from 2 weeks in Croatia. I spoke with her briefly today for the first time since she arrived there and she's been having an amazing time with her best friend.

El, I'm glad things are looking a bit up today and that hubs returned in a better frame of mind. I also agree with you and J-vo-- we all need some time on our own periodically. I tend to underestimate that for myself as well.

LB, glad to hear your daughter didn't drink at the party and that she is enjoying spending time with you all. I'm sure the atmosphere/energy at home must be much more relaxed and positive and open-- at least most of the time!! I also love perspectacles since reading it last night on the blog Pav posted. I'm going to get it into mainstream with my people here--especially at work..

J-vo, sounds like a great system you have with the work teams, though I must say your explanation was a bit like a word problem for me..(power nap didn't help that much!) 5 people per team, 2 teams for each grade..how many 8th grade classes do you have at your school? Love to hear about group hugs between classes. I hope my teachers were doing that, too.

Jane, :l
Giraffe, :l

All Gloamers to come :l

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi everyone!
I have no time to read or post really so I will check in later.

Say yes to NO hangovers (especially on Monday morning) Yay!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LostSoul33;1694594 wrote: I am a relentless alcoholic and need all the tools I can get to get kick this disease once and for all.
Wishing everyone a fantastic Sunday. Thanks for having me! ))))

Hey, LostSoul. I'm so glad you decided to post here. For me, commitment to a group -something bigger than myself - helps keep me from returning to the selfish, narrow little world I inhabited when I was drinking. I would hate to let myself down by drinking but it would be equally awful to have to come and post here that I drank. One solution to that, of course, would be to fade away from MWO but then I would be giving up all of these cyber-friendships that I value so much. Really, the only good solution I can think of is not to drink .

Sorry to hear that you might have lupus, Jane. Do you have the wolf mask on your face? Autoimmune conditions are such a pain in the *** (insert whichever body part happens to be affected!!). And they are becoming so much more common with all the junk we are exposed to in our food, air, water, --- sadly, it's a toxic world (so, no sense in making it worse by drinking poison, right???).

Pav, I passed on the Momastery link to several people - they all loved it. Glennon can be a bit overwrought sometimes but she nailed it in that post!

LC, I finally dealt with some partially completed projects and mending that was needed this weekend. Nothing took that long - so silly that I let it sit there and bug me for so long! I also did a couple creative projects that I really enjoyed.

It's great to read posts that sound like things are going pretty well! I hope anyone who is struggling knows they are welcome and URGED to come back and get the support that I think most of us need to free ourselves. Every once in awhile you see a post from someone who did it on their own here. I'm always amazed and impressed but wonder if perhaps it wouldn't have been easier on them if they'd opened themselves up and allowed fellow travelers in. All I know is that I wasn't able to do it alone and am so glad I finally got up the courage to ask for help.

xx, NS

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

You know J-vo even if you had a slip I still think you did great this summer.
You are back on track and better equipped to handle the stressors of a new school year. Congratulations! For sure this is going to be an easier year for you.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB,
That's so awesome that your daughter loves being around you guys now! That's wonderful and has to make you feel so good.:h

El, thanks for that comment. I've got a long way to go, but I'm getting there as you are too. No doubt. I'm never giving up, nor will I have anymore day 1's! So it's only up from here! I'm glad your hubby was more himself when he got back from his visit.

LC,
We have about 225 Eighth grade students. They're divided into the two teams of teachers. So I have five English classes and one drama class (that's new and I had to buy some books from amazon for guidance as I've never taught it). I hear we're getting a great group of kids again this year. The monsters will be coming up the following year!

So, we bought a new garbage can and couldn't place it under the sink where we normally had our other can. I was in the kitchen earlier cutting up veggies and doing some other things. I can't tell you how many times I opened the cabinet door where we had the old garbage can. I was getting so mad! Literally had to have done it 50 times and I still wasn't remembering. It's damn hard to change something you've been conditioned to do one way. So our AF lives are so new, and not that failing and drinking are ok, but learning new ways to go through your day, changing habits, incorporating new activities, focusing on the positives and gratitude, and so many other things is a huge challenge, but can be done, little by little. Change takes so much time until we can be completely comfortable with it. I'm not expecting to feel comfortable with everything all of the time. Maybe I was expecting to feel normal more quickly, but that's just plain stupid. But with time, we'll all condition ourselves to these new ways of living and someday, it'll become second nature to us. Yep, lots of work now! But it'll be worth it in the long run.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lol, J-Vo, I totally get the garbage can thing. Changing habits is the key and it sure can be tough. You sound like such a good teacher J, I hope you have a great year.

LilB, glad you had some nice time with your daughter. Money problems suck, I agree. Hope my hubby gets a job soon.

El, so glad your hubby is a bit better.i guess men have their moments too. You are doing so well though. I hope you are feeling better.

Pav, Sunday sounded Good, glad you relieved some anxiety. Meeting sometime sounds fab. I would love that! Maybe at a nice all inclusive in Mexico....OR New Orleans, I'm easy.....lol.

Jane, Crap! Freakin Lupus? No way, let's just hope it isn't that. Whatever it is though it would be good to finally find out so you can deal with it.


Lost, I hope you are doing ok. NS is a great support to all of us.

Life, that salad sounded yummy! I am dead tired too.

Hey Daisy hope you are good.

Ava, how was your Monday at work? No new job yet?

Goodnight ladies and G Bloke
+28c here and starting to cool down tomorrow....bummer.