Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks for the encouragement, Ladies..

How I was feeling this morning was 1000 times better than I would have felt with a hangover. Those are the kind of things I need to remember. I guess it happens with more time and experience.? I hope so. If I could remember to compare most of my uncomfortable emotions/physical stress and pain with my hangovers, it'd be so much easier. Why do I always forget? NS?

Eloise, I really understand what you're going through. I did a similar thing when I moved here to marry my husband, no job, no friends, no language, in October!--- it took a really long time for me to be ok here. I think it finally was beginning to work with people outside of the house that forced me to speak German, forced me to interact with people outside my comfort zone. I don't remember if you are living in a small town? And how long have you been there? I think you're doing an amazing job, continuing on with your art, becoming sober, working to stay positive. :l Why was it a mistake to go to the gym today?

Ava, had to laugh out loud at our emotions going up and down more than a bride's nightie! Damn, you've got some good ones under your sleeve.

Jenniech, good to see you back!! I hope you'll find this Loamer's thread your home!!:h

I have been doing what Wags, recommended on her list a couple of days ago.. I am trying to be very much aware of all of my little successes. Each night when I go to bed I say to myself, "you did it again! another day sober!' and if I start to get down on myself, I stop and say, "Yeah, but you aren't drinking!! And that's the most important thing you have to tackle." It actually does make me feel better. And today is my very last ever day 7 so I went out and bought a very nice body lotion that I have wanted for ages but didn't want to afford. I used the money I saved by not drinking.

[jenniech]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1695189 wrote: I just wrote to you in the NN, Jennie. I'm so glad to see you.

Don't hope - make the commitment! I know you are a committed person - look all you've accomplished professionally. This is tougher because of the nature of an addiction but I know you can do it - I've seen you do it!

I hope that other than this that things are going well for you. I think of you often.

Thanks NS!!!!!!
I have a question about sugar..... How does fruit fit into the concept of cutting sugar out of your diet?

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh, Gee, my second favorite topic .

Fruit obviously contains sugar (Fructose) but it has the benefit of also containing fiber, which will slow down absorption and so reduce the "sugar hit" you get.

Whether you consume much fruit when you're restricting your sugar intake depends on your metabolic situation and your goals.

For example, if you have high blood sugar problems or weight loss is your goal, it is best to only eat a bit of fruit as a treat and then, to eat the lower-sugar fruits such as berries.

Due to blood sugar issues, I generally eat a small serving of fruit about once per day - e.g. a small granny smith apple with nut butter on it at lunch or some frozen blueberries as "dessert" in the evening. One good thing is that when your only sugar intake is from fruit, after a few weeks, it starts tasting really sweet.

If you're not trying to lose weight and don't have metabolic problems (diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, memory problems, etc.), eating some fruit in its natural state should be fine. And if eating a piece of fruit keeps you from drinking fermented grapes , go for it!!

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey loamers, need to get my head out of my ass! I have a total lifestyle change starting tomorrow.....this would not have been possible without my sobriety and the only way to maintain and prosper is to be sober......
I have been reading a lot and am committing to getting to bed early.....
Reading through the toolbox, I feel that my biggest downfall was omitting to follow the principle of 'no matter what!'
By not drinking 'no matter what' and accepting this brings an instant release from having an 'out'....
So back to day 1, but that is ok because I know where I am heading and it looks a lot better than where I was.......
Sorry it has taken me a while .........

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I had the chance to talk to an MWO friend on the phone yesterday. She doesn't post much but is still trying to become comfortably AF. She said something that really struck me -- that she would feel so much better if someone could truly tell her that it wouldn't always be so hard and that she wouldn't wake up each day wishing she would be able to have a glass(es ) of wine later.

It made me think that maybe we don't say this enough: IT GETS EASIER AND EASIER UNTIL IT IS EASY AND AT SOME POINT IT IS NOT EVEN A STRUGGLE!

The thing is, it takes time and that time must be completely AF. So, yes, there is a period where everyday a drink sounds like a desirable thing and you have to do what it takes to get past it. But if you give yourself enough AF time, however long that is for you (and I think it is measured in at least months, not weeks or days), you will reach a point where there is no desire to drink and so there is no struggle. Frankly, I can't even remember what the big fuss was all about. A nondrinking life feels so normal and easy.

I'm aware that the occasional "pull" will come along now and again which is why I'm still here, continuing to do what brought me to this point and keeping the importance of sobriety foremost in my mind. But really, there is nothing negative about it, and if I hadn't formed such strong connections here that I don't want to lose, I might be tempted to drift away and just move on with my AF life.

But... I think that is where people get into trouble so I'm very grateful to all my cyber-friends that keep me coming back :hug:.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo - yes could be partly PAWS? Funny because I did a lot of reading on this site 2 weeks back when I was really freaking out about moving, husband, etc. And I keep telling myself 'just be patient' Step 1.

Lifechange: I may not be ready for the gym yet after my surgery. I was very dizzy and not doing a great job of keeping up. Good for you for buying yourself that nice body cream! That feels gooodddd!!

NS Yes! It definitely gets easier!!

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lifechange- you are in Germany?
You do totally get it. I know if I could find work outside the house it would help a lot.
Thanks for your kind encouraging words.
We are in The Hague and I find it not so great. Rather segregated to be honest and some places are really just yucky & dirty.
Where we live is nice, really, but ... Well I think you get it. I have studied so much Dutch now I just have to be forced to speak it. We are now living in a free standing villa about a mile from the sea. Very quiet all day and all night, a big relief as We were in a tiny studio apt for 2 years when we first arrived. It is 2 years September 8th we are here.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wags glad you had a great time with your rowing. I like the arrive late, leave early strategy. And see, someone else wasn't drinking and it was because of the cost. Very natural.
Jen good to see you.
Daisy you will get it.
Ava love the visuals of the brides nighty. I needed a laugh.
NS I fel I still need to be here, everyday. Yes the daily struggle goes away but the addictive voice whispers that maybe I wasn't that bad, I could control it now. Which is a LIE. So her I am and here I stay.
Lifechange glad you are feeling better today, that you are looking at things through your Perspectacles.
Eloise hope you feel less restless. You really are going through a lot. I know how overwhelming that can be. And your villa sounds nice. Be kind to yourself. And I love the way you are certain you will not drink.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

lifechange;1695229 wrote:

How I was feeling this morning was 1000 times better than I would have felt with a hangover. Those are the kind of things I need to remember. I guess it happens with more time and experience.? I hope so. If I could remember to compare most of my uncomfortable emotions/physical stress and pain with my hangovers, it'd be so much easier. Why do I always forget? NS?

.

That's why we're here together. To remind each other of these things!

Daisy, "no matter what we won't drink." Yep. Glad you're here.

LB and NS, I'm not going anywhere either.

Jane, hope you're feeling better.:l

Great day for me today. Nothing spectacular, just normal work, getting stuff ready for the year, making classroom pretty, and that's it. I loved the calmness I felt today. All day. What I did a lot today was mindfulness. That's my new word. Keeping my mind in the present vs. what happened in the past and what will happen in the future. We have this day promised to us, this moment, and that's it. That's why I'm liking the "one day at a time" even more. And I've noticed that since last year, I'm not obsessing over drinking or not drinking. Yea, only 9 days in, but I think that all of my sober time has given me more than I thought. My mind is freed up to think of what's going on around me and not what I did or will do. It's a good thing. Now, talk to me in a couple weeks after the kiddos have gotten comfortable in class and I might be saying something different. No promises!

Have a great night.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi girls!
I am in bed and exhausted from work today so I will say goodnight.

I skimmed through the posts, you gals sound good. I have my nighty on Ava...I think it's gonna just stay down tonight

Big hugs

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

J-vo I like that mindfulness. I have been just naturally doing that more lately.
My purse was stoled from my car at work this evening. Yep, the door was unlocked. I was starting to load up and just didn't come back out right away. I guess that's what happened.
So a trip to one of my favorite government offices tomorrow. The motor vehicle department for a new drivers licenses. Yeah!!!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, all:

Jeez Louise, LB - if it isn't one thing it's another. Good thing you're sober to deal with it all...

I'm with Nar - very, very tired. My little one barfed all night so I didn't get much sleep. Good thing I was sober so I could be there for him!

NO MATTER WHAT. That's the ticket. Take care of yourselves and don't drink, no matter what.

I honestly didn't believe it could be possible, but I go to parties that I think I couldn't possibly have attended without pining for alcohol all night and I DON'T pine for alcohol. I take an extra deep breath at the beginning, and jump in with both feet, and then I don't miss it AT ALL. I am not bullshitting you. I really don't. It is truly unbelievable for me. But it is true.

OK - off to bed. Strength to you all!

xo
Pav

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I missed a few days of reading while I was at my paddling races, and now I feel like I can't catch up with how everyone is doing. I'll try to read back and get it all straight. This eve I'm exhausted like Nar and Pav - gotta hit the hay.

LB - sorry to hear about your purse getting stolen - that stinks!

Daisy - yes, the "no matter what" part has been the key for me and might be just the thing you need to add to your plan in order to ensure this is your last quit

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning, Ladies!
After a strong cup of coffee, I'm feeling less foggy. Man, that drives me crazy, the foggyheadedness! But, 1000 times better than feeling hungover! Last night I picked up my daughter from the airport with my ex and out little one. It was sooo good to see her after 2 weeks. I was afraid she may have changed so much that I wouldn't recognize her. Silly, I know, but this is such a huge time of change for her (almost 13) and she's been struggling the past year or so, knowing that her "childhood" is coming to an end. Wanting to experience this and that before she becomes a teenager. She is transitioning wonderfully and it was so nice to see her and the friend she's been with the past 2 weeks so close, whispering on the tram on the way home. They had a loooong hug saying goodbye-- they've been together 24/7 and had so many new experiences. The little one (almost 10) was like a puppy upon seeing her sister again, wagging her tail and jumping up and down.:h

J-vo, I bet your classroom looks great-- I think that would be my favourite part of being a teacher--getting the classroom ready for the new year. Which book is the first your class will be reading this year? I can't remember/imagine what kids that age are reading. The calmness sounds wonderful. The sober time you had is definitely still with you--for me, one day at a time is also the best way to go. I have little goals in the near future, but because I don't plan on EVER drinking again, there isn't a lot of sense in having longer term goals.

NS, I believe you are right! And I will continue to trust in what you say and just work on getting a very good amount of time AF before I start looking for miracles! I'm kidding--but I think it's been a problem of mine, that I want/expect too much too soon and when it doesn't happen, I think, "what's the point anyway?". I want instant gratification. I forget that in the beginning it really can be doing whatever has to be done not to drink--even though I have some sober experience. Byrdie posted about it in the Nest yesterday and it's DEF my experience that when I decide to drink, I set myself up for a hell of a time getting back in the game. I'm finally back for the long haul!!

LB, That SUCKS! I, too, am very happy that you're sober to deal with it--but what a terrible feeling to have some steal your purse out of your car. I've luckily only had my wallet stolen once-- made me feel awful to have someone running around with my personal belongings. Normally they just dump it though. In my case there was no money to be had so there!! Thank you so much for the encouragement all the time. It is greatly appreciated..

El, I just looked up the Hague and it sure is beautiful, with obviously so much history. Your villa sounds wonderful. Just the word villa... I googled how far is Berlin from the Hague.. and the answer was funny. 6 hours and 30 minutes. In current traffic (at 8am) 7 hours and 7 minutes. I guess people probably do drive it..Maybe someday we really could have a visit!! I hope you are continuing to heal well. Did the doctors say how long it would take to be a bit "back to normal"?

Daisy, sending you strength!!!! You KNOW what you have to do, as you've done it recently. Jump back in full force and don't look back. Follow what NS is saying! and J-vo, just living in this day. No worries about yesterday or tomorrow. Don't let this turn into a relapse that goes on for months or years! How are you doing today?:h

Hi Pav!! Hi Wags!! Hi Nar!! Hope you're all sleeping soundly. I have also been dead as doorknob each and every evening. It's turning to Autumn much too early for my liking, though I won't bitch too much-- we've had a gorgeous summer.
How are you doing, Jane?
When is Ginger getting back from her trip?
Hi Giraffe! Hi Ava!
How are you holding up, Pat?
:l to everyone checking in and stopping by today..

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Lifechange I was leaving my daughter off last night...heading to Ibiza with a load of friends for a week.....it's always good to get them back safe and sound.
Well today I started my childminding venture with my daughter. Very busy day ahead! Hoping this will help with sleep.
No matter what! No drinking no matter what!