Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Samstone]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1697067 wrote: Hi, Sam

I tried to find you on there but couldn't get your name to come up. I'm there under the same name with the same avatar. J-vo, Giraffe, and Little Beagle are there, too. I think I have 44 more visits before I have to pay. Maybe you can find us and be a Sobermister .

Thanks NS, when I tried find you, it won't let me search members without joining by paying. Thinking of joining for 3 months.
Sam

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I had ventured to soberistas too - but couldn't find my way around, and then had hope this place would last - I am also open to sharing emails with you all - please pm me if you are interested - I know I need the connection. I may look for Nelz fb group too...I have a couple friends from here that I both email and have fb - I do behave I promise!

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LC and AVA you are both doing very well...we each come to this in our own time...I think..

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Dot and yes i am happy with one year in december and i am loving this sober life though it certainly has its ups and downs but drinking was so down.

not sure about sobersistas, hoping this stays afloat i suppose.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you for your post Life. I had -actually am having such a fn craving right now. I actually went to my cabinet where I used to drink wine to see if there was any wine there! Thank goodness there isn't. FFS why can't I drink??? Aargh!
I have to get through tonight and I will be ok.

I haven't had too many problems with this site. I will go to Soberists if I have to. NS has my email.i just have to get my butt into gear and go on Soberistas. I will do that.

Love you Gloamers.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar they are strange when those cravings appear but it gets easier. i have had a few pop into my head this week but out they pop again. al in the house but i know i cant travel that road as i have too much to lose and i have lost enough over the years to not go there again. Being and keeping sober is still hard work some days but thats life.

I just sent a friend request to Nelz on his fb page where a lot of mwoers appear to be going.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LC, glad you got through those cravings.

LB,:l That really sucks and I'm sending love your way.

Nar, you will get through these cravings. Read the toolbox and keep your mind focused on the bad things al will do to you. Your saturday will be lovely!

Went back to work today. Just inserivce and for Monday and Tuesday as well. Kids come Wednesday. Lots of 'testing data' discussions. Our schools didn't meet the expected growth levels. It's really frustrating to have to have that as a main focus almost always. After work, we went to lease a new car. Got a Honda Accord. Didn't bring it home yet as they didn't have the red color I wanted. Never had red. Or it's a bit more crimson. Anyhow, tomorrow is DS's first double header. Let the games begin!

Tired and sober. Goodnight.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar - I got hit by a massive craving this evening as well. Wow, it was the biggest one I think I've felt, or maybe I'm just conveniently forgetting. I hope yours passed quickly, and I'm so glad you didn't have any AL in the house!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey, Wags. As I wrote to Nar earlier, a craving will make you uncomfortable for awhile but giving in and drinking will make you feel terrible, and terrible about yourself, for a long, long time. Just do whatever it takes to get past it - with posting here a great step. :h

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I totally agree with you NS, and there's no way I'd give up my quit that easily. I actually did try to post on here, not necessarily to get a response (although that would have been great), but simply to write out my thoughts and make them public. Buuuuuuuttt.... I couldn't log in

Fortunately, I was able to pinpoint what I was doing that was triggering me (I was on FB chatting with some friends who are big drinkers who were talking about their plans for the eve) and so I stopped that immediately. I got off FB and played with my dog for a bit, then something else distracted me, and suddenly I noticed the craving/urge was gone.

I think I'm going to write out a list on a piece of flip chart paper or something else big like that and hang it on my wall for a while. On the list I'm going to put my tools or strategies for urge surfing. I have several and I know them, but in the heat of the moment it's harder to remember them all.

On a different note, many of you were around when I was griping about my outrigger canoe paddling coach (the diva) a few weeks ago. Well, I recently met a different coach and we totally hit it off. I feel a much stronger connection there, and the overall fit is much better, so I'm going to pursue things with the other team. It feels like a really good decision - makes me smile just to think about it.

I really need to do a better job about not keeping people in my life who are toxic. I'm working on it and have made strides, but this needs to be an on-going goal and a target for skill development. Just some self-insights.

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning, Gloamers,
it felt so good to wake up this morning with a clear head and a clear conscience. Last night I was reading a link someone posted about the Kindling Effect The Kindling Effect of Addiction | -- scary, but I think it's exactly what I've done to myself by repeatedly relapsing. It helps to have things in perspective in my rational mind.

Wags, I like your idea of hanging up a sheet with your tools for urge surfing-- and when you couldn't sign on here, did you write it all down on a sheet of paper? I know that being able to connect here really helps me--not because I expect a response (though of course it does help if someone connects and is able to offer support) but because I know that I'm writing to people who understand and who have been/are in my shoes, I don't feel quite as crazy and alone in my "problem". It's great to hear that you've found another coach with whom you connect better. Will you be able to spend more time with her instead of the other--is it within your control? It's sure not easy to deal with the toxic people in our lives, but it's so important to find good ways to do it/or to get rid of them!. I feel fortunate that I don't really have any in my life right now.

Nar, thank god you didn't have any al in the house. I would like to think that at some point I could deal with having it around--but I know that is a LONG time coming. It sounds like your DH is supportive in also not having any around..? Do you know what triggered the craving? Or did it come out of nowhere? Man, I hate addiction right now. I love all of you, though. :h

Ava, you managed to crack me up again with that post. Always wanting what we can't have-- ain't that the truth?! Don't give up on your 99 year old millionaire! He's sure to walk into your life sometime soon!! Funny lady.. He'd probably live to be the oldest person in the world and you'd be stuck playing checkers with him for the next 20 years.... Better, you meet some awesome guy who sweeps you off your feet with his love and sense of humour!! You're such an awesome woman, Linda, and such a great friend and source of support!!!:l

J-vo, glad the first back to school/inservice day was ok. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to constantly have all the testing data crap at the back of your neck. I understand the testing to a point, but it can definitely interfere with the joy of teaching and learning -- take the joy out of learning and it seems you have kids who can memorize well for taking tests and that's about it.?? The crimson accord sounds like a dream!!

Not much on for us this weekend. Just out to buy some shoes (why did we wait until the last day of summer break??) , maybe to the farmers market and out to lunch. I am looking forward to a quiet, calm weekend-- I was paid back 1000 times last night by staying true to my path and being fully present for the girls. I have to remember how good it feels to be free of the shame, guilt, remorse that I feel after each and every time I decide to drink. I have to bottle up the calm, the acceptance, the everything is ok feeling I have right in this moment!!

Wishing you ALL a relaxing, stress-free, easy Saturday..

[Rivergal]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Just shy of 2 weeks & had such an urge to hit the liquor store on the way home from work. I work with some extremely passive-aggressive people. Pisses me off. I take pride in my honesty except
When it comes to my drinking. God, I just want to be healthy...I go green every chance I get, recycle, eat paleo, organic grass fed beef, raise my own rabbits & chickens- why am I obsessed with AL????? I dream of the feeling of JD heating up my throat & stomach and how relaxed it makes me feel...and then everything becomes unpredictable- I usually become very energetic and happy which makes me drink more and then the demons come out which make me very self-centered, want to retreat, and tell everyone to leave me alone or to go fuck themselves...
Wow, thanks to you all & this forum, I realize how sick I really am and the only way to get better is to simply NOT TAKE THAT FIRST drink. Strong coffee with coconut milk ( and not JD!) it is.
Peace out. Oh yeah, I really appreciate all of you.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I lived with the same internal conflict for a long time, RG. It is worth pushing through - it will make you feel "whole" again. :l

[Rivergal]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

lifechange;1696801 wrote: Hi GLoamers!.

I also had problems finding you all this morning, so here I am at almost 7pm. Late, but not absent. Today has been another doozy of a day and I actually felt quite depressed this afternoon. The strength and insanity of the cravings got me down after 4 hours of fighting it. I swear to god, I had to do everything in my sane power not to drink-- and that made me sad. I guess it should make me happy/grateful that I successfully pulled through. But I woke up in the middle of the night, panicked at how easy it would be for me to fall back into HELL! So right now I'm riding on blind faith, just trying to get the AF time under my belt. Of course, I am working on gratitude, finding new ways to deal with stress and sadness. Today when I wanted to drink (there was open wine that we were cooking with at work-- I finally emptied the leftover 1/3 of a bottle down the drain) I kept playing it through. I was thinking that what I wanted was an altered state of mind. A calm and peaceful feeling. And I know that I've felt that from meditation-- Pinecone wrote a nice post in the NN about getting that back after being off the alcohol for awhile. That what he was searching for in the alcohol (and got for maybe half an hour) he found after he quit. I believe this, as I've felt it before.

Jane, I liked the thread you linked me to--urge surfing.. It was very time appropriate, too, as yesterday was my day 9. Thank you for that!

Thank you all for your support yesterday-- it did make a world of difference to know you are all on my side. That we're a team, that I would be there for any and all of you, struggling or not. Today when I was contemplating drinking or pouring out the wine I thought of Wags, and LB and Pav, and NS and Ava, and SL, and Jane, and Giraffe, and El, and Nar, and J-vo, and Daisy and G-man and Byrdie and I thought of how I wanted to come home and still be with you all on my LAST day 10 ever. It just frustrates me that it's so hard at times, even though I know what I want.:upset: I feel like I have the door CLOSED to discussion, but then I did contemplate drinking the fucking wine. Why bother with one glass? I thought of how disappointed it would make the girls to smell alcohol on my breath. Of how exhausted I would be physically and mentally. How I wouldn't want to cook all the gorgeous veggies I got from my friend who has an organic farm, how I would continue on in the evening and then again tomorrow, because I can NEVER just stop. ok. Now I'm feeling better that I actually did stop. I accomplished the one thing I HAD to accomplish today and now I think the craving is gone.

So, a selfish post today.. I read everything from yesterday and am thinking of you all as you go through your days-- Have to run out with the girls to rent a film--slumber party tonight. xoxoxoxo

Thank you Life...I am on Day 13 & you described exactly what I have been feeling so beautifully! Urge surfing link really got me reflecting...thanks Jane. Heading to the Farmer's Market with DH & dogs. No AL today. BTW, you women are addicting! Got to get my ass up & moving!

[Rivergal]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1697252 wrote: I lived with the same internal conflict for a long time, RG. It is worth pushing through - it will make you feel "whole" again. :l

Thanks NS. It means so much knowing that my cyber chicks have my back!