Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

wags that is great. Self awareness is something that has taken me decades to even start to look deep.

I am sunburned and cranky from being out in 93 degree heat all afternoon. Just took a cool shower and I feel so much better. I will NOT do the yard sale this time of year ever again....October looks good to me. It will be much cooler by then...

I hope this site can survive but Soberistas looks really interesting. Lots of information to read and groups to check out. Plan B for sure.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

wrote this in the other thread I visit - and I apologize for repeating myself here - but i did like this quote
"One of my new vices is one of those coffees from those fancy places....well Starbucks isn't so fancy, but they do cost - but it is my treat....anyhoos, I don't watch Oprah and really don't know much about her - but today's quote on my expensive coffee was appropriate (I did something that I try not to as part of my staying the course plan and ended up shopping after noon on a weekend and the wines looked way too interesting today) - "The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want" - that worked well for me today, and I think I will keep that one on my board....I left the wine for others to purchase I am glad to say..."

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

:wd: SL

I think soberistas looks great, too, Dottie.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

t really a pretty picture.

I do use a lot of mental imagery as a tool. The mental image of me drinking is a deterrent. I don't imagine it from my point of view but from the other side. Not really a pretty picture.
wags I know that rush of emotion coming back. It happened around 4 months to me. And I still have emotions I just have to sit with. I went out and mowed part of the L awn last night after a truly frustrating week. Hubby is behind in the lawncare and it's really grown up. That definately took some pep out of my step. About half way through the section I marked off I felt the tension melt away along with the sweat pouring down my body. Whew. What a relief.
But we have become so use to drinking away emotions that this is a like learning a new skill.
Definately doable, it just takes practice. I am reminded of NS learning to cross the left over the right in yoga or J-vo relearning where her new garbage can is.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

little beagle;1697527 wrote: I do use a lot of mental imagery as a tool. The mental image of me drinking is a deterrent. I don't imagine it from my point of view but from the other side. Not really a pretty picture.
wags I know that rush of emotion coming back. It happened around 4 months to me. And I still have emotions I just have to sit with. I went out and mowed part of the L awn last night after a truly frustrating week. Hubby is behind in the lawncare and it's really grown up. That definately took some pep out of my step. About half way through the section I marked off I felt the tension melt away along with the sweat pouring down my body. Whew. What a relief.
But we have become so use to drinking away emotions that this is a like learning a new skill.
Definately doable, it just takes practice. I am reminded of NS learning to cross the left over the right in yoga or J-vo relearning where her new garbage can is.

Thanks LB - your post really reached me. I'm about a week shy of 4 months myself and am a bit caught off guard by the rush of feelings. I wonder if this is a common stage of brain healing or something. Dealing with (or just being with) certain emotions is definitely like learning a new skill.

I'm glad the physical exertion of mowing the lawn helped your tension melt away. Always a good feeling.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well, I think I've made it over the hump for today - just need to last another hour or so and then I'm going to try to sleep early. Tomorrow is a new AF day and I'm ready for it.

Thanks to all who have reached out and helped me, especially today. I might need more tomorrow but hope I'll be feeling strong again.

:huggy to all of you Gloamers

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

AF today for me too. I went to a concert and was able to really enjoy it sober. I am so glad I didn't drink!

Reading your posts, LB, Dottie,J-Vo, How hot it is where you are. Well, it was cold tonight and an outdoor concert. 10C which is about 50F, I had my gloves and warm jacket on. Amazing the different weather we all have.

Well, just want to say I am glad I know you Loamers and that you kept me sober this weekend. My AL brain didn't like you but too bad! Having a group to stay accountable to really works. I know I would have drank without you all.
So happy, I am going to sleep now as sober as can be.
Goodnight.
Xx

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wags, I am with you and we will get through this struggle. Going to bed early is a great idea.
Exercise sure helps, I totally agree.
Talk soon.

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good Morning, Ladies!
Bums me out a bit that I'm in a different time zone than most of you-- Great posts last night (actually my middle of the night!)

Wags, I am so glad that you had the epiphany and could more clearly see the cause of your cravings/urges to drink. I'm at a different stage than you, beginning all over again, but what you wrote makes a lot of sense to me, too. Yesterday, I couldn't figure out exactly why I was feeling so uncomfortable, anxious, out of control, but I could see that I was looking for instant relief. Sometimes it's soooo hard to fight through them-- looks like you were at it for a good couple+ hours. Around 4 months is when I was thinking I had it all under wraps and didn't have my guard up and thought I could have "a" drink. It seems like that can be a difficult time for a lot of people. I am SO happy that you are on your toes, looking into what is going on behind the scenes. I will be following your example this time around!!

Nar, glad you are also feeling better, out of danger for the moment. I also had a laugh about you wishing you didn't know the Loamers so that you could drink in peace. Thank god that isn't the case! I know that lying to myself and then having myself to deal with has always been the most difficult and painful scenario. Good to hear that your DH doesn't drink much and supports you in your sobriety. You are having mighty cold weather for August! I'll stop complaining about our 20?C here!!

Rivergal, How are you today? Please stop by and give a shout--

LB, I really appreciated your insight yesterday-- loved poking out the eye of the monster. Great visuals! And what you said about having used alcohol for such a long time as a way to tame emotions, wash them away-- learning new ways is SUCH a challenge, but I believe you that it's doable. In fact, I am already beginning to see it within myself as I go through the pain of abstaining.

SL, love that!! "the only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"-- not always easy, but in the end so worthwhile, so fulfilling. I remember how much you struggled in the beginning. Unsure as to whether or not you could have 30 consecutive days AF-- and look at you now, celebrating 6 months. I'm happy for you, SL.

Jealous of Dottie and J-vo-- not the getting sunburned part, but being in a warm enough climate where it's possible!

I woke up at 230am from a nightmare, which seems kindof ridiculous now, but which threw me for a loop. I was somewhere with the man who lives next door (we are friends with him and his wife and toddler) and I had decided to drink a glass of red wine (you were all in my thoughts, but I decided I would start over tomorrow and just not say anything--erasing the ONE day of drinking)-- I remember that the neighbour and I had kissed but couldn't remember what else had happened (though I could see in his eyes it was more) because I'd blacked out. We had been away for the night together and I was so afraid to come home, because I had betrayed and lied to my BF, something that I have never/would never do to him in real life. It was awful, so sad. There was nothing I could do to take back my actions. I woke up, had a drink of water, thanked god that I hadn't actually done anything wrong, grateful then, once again to see the craziness that occurs when I drink. Different, but not less crazy.
Looking at the blue skies today, I am hopeful that the voices will leave me alone this afternoon! But if not, I am ready.

Thinking of all of you and wishing you happy, "easy" Sunday!!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB, I still haven't remembered the garbage can location, although DH is getting it. He's in the kitchen more than I am, so understandable. But it's so deep in my memory just like other behaviors are and yes, it's going to take a great deal of conscious awareness to make those changes in my brain.

Nar, glad you know us and glad you had a great time last night sober. I certainly know what it's like standing for hours in the cold. DS's night baseball games, fall baseball games. Chilled to the bone! Keep being aware of the strong cravings and do what you did this weekend. You got through them. You're a rock star!

Wags, is this part of PAWS? That's why a community of support is necessary always. Just like Nar, you got through the cravings and I'm inspired by both of you.

LC, what a nightmare! I had one myself. I had a dream my extended family went away and five of us contracted Ebola virus. Their bodies were getting worse, red, and looked terrible, but then they got through the worst of it and we all went home. Scary. Lots of crying in the dream.

Have a great day ladies.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

El,
I see tomorrow is your big 100! Woot!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

The alternative MWO that Nursie set up is awesome - just like this but updated:
Login Required | Forum

[Rivergal]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Rivergal, How are you today? Please stop by and give a shout--
Hey cyber chicks & LC, I am doing okay...feeling still very tired & frustrated with work. Trying to stay positive...home life is great, just wish I could spend more time there....thought transferring to a rural hospital in the mountains would be as appealing as the large, dynamic, awesome med center in San Fran- boy was I wrong...very small anesthesia department now requiring tons of on-call. Anyway, the life I am leading...Funny, I always wanted to be a Park ranger/wildlife conservationist. Went for the $$$$ instead. Not as important to me now, so planning on retiring early w/I 5 years and enjoying our developing homestead on the New River Gorge....sobriety is essential...my DH is far from being an enabler. Zero tolerance- which is a good thing for me. So crazy how. Every small relapse becomes sooo much more dangerous & risky....it is like I keep challenging myself to AL....I want to defeat him....Only way is to surrender, give up the battle, and never consider him again.
Happy sober Sunday- heading into hospital now.
Love you gals, and guys!

NS- how do we get to alternative MWO? Is this site really going away? I am not having any technical problems...did I miss an
important message?

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

How's it going over there, NS?
How long has it been up? I haven't yet registered. I am always so skeptical of new internet sites/forums/anything I have to sign my name to.
Are lots of MWO'ers already over there?

J-vo, SCARY!!! I'm glad you all made it through... Amazing how realistic the dreams can be! Jane, I don't know how I'd deal with them more than once in a blue moon--I do notice that when I'm not drinking that my dreams are much more vivid and I can remember them more clearly.. go figure!
El, so looking forward to celebrating 100 days with you tomorrow! I guess it's been a long 10 days.? Will you have a small celebration for yourself? I hope so..it's quite a nice milestone.

:l:l to you all

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Xpost RG! Good to see you and hear you are well.. wishing you a good day at work!!