Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

oh LittleBeagle, bless you and all that strength you have.
I am certain you are right about what your husband is up to. I give you a lot of credit for taking the high road. Bless you, you are in my thoughts and I am hoping for the best for you. You are doing the right thing for yourself. x

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thinking of you and hubby LB. Let's hope he pulls it together quickly. Up to him as we know. I hope you're both safe. :l

G

[Ginger999]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB, Thinking of you this morning and sending your tons of AF energy. Hang on tight. Your AFness will pull you through this difficult time with hubs.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey Lil B, you are one strong woman. Hopefully he gets it together. As we know, it is hard when we are in the depths of despair with AL. I am sure you are a beacon of light for him. Keep yourself safe as G says.

At work today with my mental boss. Came in early and am leaving early. I never would have come in so early when I was drinking! I was here at 6:20am and feeling great. Walked 1/2 to get to work and it is a beautiful day here too. Yipee for me!
Anyway, I'll be leaving here at 2:30. Oh yeah.

Ava, I wish I could sit outside and have coffee with you. mmmm...coffee and liquorice? Naw, lets have chocolate instead!

xo

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB - Very difficult situation with your husband. I hope he is able to bounce back onto the wagon. In the meantime, continue to stay strong and protect your quit!

Nar - Sounds like a great start to your day - enjoy!

El - You could definitely be feeling the cumulative effects of cancer treatment plus your recent move. Be kind to yourself - it will pass.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE everyone,

Feeling a bit tired this morning, partly due to back pain. It isn't horrible but it's discouraging, and I'm really hoping it won't keep me from paddling this weekend. We're having a big event that I've been looking forward to all summer. I'm going to go regardless of how my back feels, and hopefully by being careful I'll be able to participate.

I'm thinking ahead to Sun eve after the event ends, as there will be a big party with lots of drinking. I need to strengthen my resolve and prepare my excuses in advance. It might turn out that I don't need a lot of excuses, but better to be safe than caught off-guard.

The sad part is, as I'm sitting here I kind of want to drink at the party. I think I'm tired of the energy it takes to remain AF, and my brain is telling me I've earned a day off from that battle. This is where counting days will help me - even though drinking on one day in 4 months seems like very little (to my AL brain), the idea of resetting my day counter to Day 1 is discouraging. I'd much rather see Monday be my Day 130 instead of a new Day 1.

Hugs to all

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh no Wags, you do not want to start counting from day 1. That would be a huge bummer.

It is good you have 2 days to psychologically prepare yourself. Be careful as you will be tired by the time the party starts. Maybe decide when you are going to exit? & make sure you eat.

Am enjoying Apple TV just now. It is really quite fun ... Very cool podcasts. I do plan to take it easy this week-end. My hd will go to his mother alone and I will stay home and rest. Yesterday was such a StuPid day. Omg, embarrassing. I do need to put it in neutral and take it easy. I have lost my private sanctuary by deciding to live at my studio and need to sort that out. I know, a bit spoilt.

LB- any news? It is already early evening here, so still morning by you. I am hoping for the best!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

wagmore;1702208 wrote: the idea of resetting my day counter to Day 1 is discouraging. I'd much rather see Monday be my Day 130 instead of a new Day 1.

So glad you're dealing with all this now, Wags, instead of during or worse, regrettfully after, the event.

Resetting your day counter to #1 would be so discouraging but of even more consequence is that you'd be starting over on much of the brain healing which requires uninterrupted time AF (The Bubble Hour: Special Guest, Dr. John Kelly: Changing the Stigma of Addiction Through Science). Further, there is no way to be sure it would be a one-off and wouldn't lead you right back to where you were. Please don't take the chance :l.

I hope your back improves quickly. If you take any meds for it, those would be a good reason (for you, and as an excuse!) not to drink.

On Monday, you'll be even stronger in your quit when you make it past this challenge and check in on day 130. I'm looking forward to it!!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wags, DON'T DRINK!!! I know you are having those thoughts and they are tough to fight through but you HAVE TO DO IT! Don't start over. It really sucks. I bought some L Glutamine after my really strong cravings a few weeks ago and that really helped me. Please come back and post here if you are having trouble.

El, Apple TV does sound like fun. I am going to watch TV this weekend too. I totally get how it would suck to lose your private sanctuary. Enjoy your alone time while hubby visits his mom.

xo

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB,
I'm so sorry about your husband falling off. I feel your frustration. Have you been able to talk to your daughter or anyone about it? Call me if you need an ear. Hugs and strength to you. I hope that Hubs can get into NA or some kind of support group. He needs to learn the skills and build his toolbox so that white knuckling doesn't have to go on daily for him. I know sometimes we get cravings, but we're learning how to deal with them more and becoming stronger each time we resist or find ways to be grateful. Still not easy sometimes, but I think that's what's missing and Hubs needs that.:l

Wags, it does take energy to remain AF at times. But think of the energy that is sucked out of us when we do drink. And with our disease, it's not just the energy of a one-day hangover. It continues on and on until we've hit rock bottom again. Please consider opting out of the party until you can get your mind in better place. With our Al brains, there are no "days off." Days off become months, then years of life lost. :l

Jane, I hope you're doing better. I have a student who has an eating disorder and we need to remember to send her to certain people throughout the day to watch her eat. She leaves my class to go to a teacher she had last year to eat 9 almonds. She may be hospitalized for it. She's such a beautiful girl. She lost her dad a few years ago to cancer. This age group is super fragile!

Ava, you sound strong. Hoping your shoulder shapes up! I love it that you're having a mother/daughter slumber party. Enjoy bingo!

Nar, I have a library of memoirs. I love memoirs as they're so inspiring. Hope you straightened out that Dink!

LC, how are you?

Dottie, how did the class on volunteering go? I'd love to volunteer. Maybe in a few years when son goes off to college and we don't have sports activities.

El, I make an ass out of myself just about a dozen times a day. But you know what? I don't care anymore. That's me. I'm enough.

Work has been great. I'm loving my job more than any other time in my career. It's the feeling good about myself that is key. When I'm taking care of myself, I can take care of business. I did have a drink dream last night, and I was looking for it but couldn't find it. That tells me that I'm still subconsciously thinking of it and I need to be on top of my game. Need to remember to observe gratitude daily. Going to the HS football game tonight. Parents are coming in for the weekend and dad is taking DS to an NFL game on Sunday.

Have a great weekend all.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Class was great. I will go back next week. It is 6 weeks so I should learn a lot.
Off to a meeting tonight. Our train club board meets once a quarter and they asked me to be a board member so now I need to go to all the meetings...but it is interesting.

LB I hope he has answered his phone so u know he is ok..really hard thing for you.
Wags don't start over. It is NOT worth it...stay the course and think about how good you will feel.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

He checked in. I have been telling him much of the same things i would tell any one else here.
Wags as an observer of someone trying to moderate, have just one day of drinking it doesn't happen. Hubby tried to moderate. He always does. Here he is in physical pain, can't face himself or me, hating life. Just not doing it is easier. I've seen him do this probably 60 times in 4 years. It doesn't get better, only worse. Each time he does more and spends more and hurts himself worse. There is just no up side to it. Trust me.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Dottie i want to volunteer with the CAAWS. you are inspiring me to take that plunge. Capital Area Animal Welfare Society.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Go for it LB. We also volunteer at an animal refuge. We adopted 2 dogs from them so feel a connection. We just to events and I plan to help them re-organize their thrift shop. You will enjoy giving back....GO FOR IT!!!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Eloise, NS, Nar, j-vo, DB, LB - Thanks so much for your adamant replies and support. I think it helped a bit to just write my post and share my feelings, but it sure helped a lot more to see all of you jump right in and remind me of all the reasons I should NOT drink. Of course, you're all right, and I knew that already, but it seriously helps to have such a unified chorus of voices to counteract that pesky AL voice. Thank you :h

NS - I'll go back and check out that bubble hour again - I've worked really hard to help my brain heal from Al and also years of pain meds (a long time ago - really screwed me up and left my neurotransmitters messed up). Speaking of which, I'm not taking anything for my back pain - just ice, deep tissue massage, myofascial release, and some PT exercises. My back is feeling quite a bit better, but I'll still be careful this weekend.