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    Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

    [QUOTE=narilly;1702355]Wags,yes, Dr Kelly's talk on TheBubble Hour is really good to listen to especially when you are feeling the urge to try and moderate. NS has the best info!

    How do you view The Bubble Hour?

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      Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

      [QUOTE=j-vo

      I woke up thinking about complacency. That's one thing that we must not become, as it can become a slippery slope once too much of that is the case. Last week when I had lots going on, I almost felt like I was becoming complacent about my sobriety. I know, at times, we'll have a busier schedule than ohers, but i know that I need to think about my sobriety daily in some form or way. I don't want to slip into i can moderate mode ever again, or even just get such a crazy craving that I say f-it.

      Have a good day.
      Wow jvo, I realize we are on the same number of sober days, but to be on the exact same thought process is wild!!! Thank you for sharing it so beautifully.

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        Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

        I made peanut butter criss cross cookies LC
        Which I put directly in the freezer, then I have them on hard for the kids and I dont risk eating them all. It was an okay recipe, but not the best. I couldnt find my favorite recipe.

        Good idea about the screen dividers. We actually put some up last night, but not for where I paint.
        Its a great Idea, i found nice and inexpensive screens to hang at Ikea.

        How is LB? Let me read a bit further back, I hope I am going to find some good news.

        Quiet here tonight, hd gone to his mom. A very strange sky here tonight. Its almost 8pm and still really light out!
        (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

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          Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

          Hysterical Jane- DoorToHell- yup, that about aums it up!
          (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

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            Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

            Sums it up !
            (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

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              Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

              I'm feeling better. Slept late. Daughter came to be with me awhile this afternoon.
              Hubby finally came home. And we are talking. Getting ready to eat dinner together.
              I was talking to my daughter about how I have never regretted NOT drinking. She laughed and said she never thought of it that way.
              LC I'm sorry you had to hurt the little ones feelings, but you did the best thing. Sometimes we have to do what FEELS selfish. It isn't. Its self preservation.
              You go Dottie. 5 K. I'm impressed.
              Jane I love that picture of complacency.
              J-vo you are awesome.
              No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                Hi, all:

                Weird, stressful day yesterday and I wanted a drink when I got home - out of the farking blue. Had a drinking dream (I'll tell you about it later) and feel out of sorts today. I'm at a family gathering and struggling a bit. I'm not going to drink but thought I'd check in to get away for a minute and touch base with my supporters. Blech. I haven't felt like this in a while.

                xo
                Pav

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                  Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                  Pav - It's surprising when those thoughts come out of the blue isn't it? DON'T DRINK - there are no positives to this decision, only negatives. Ride it out, you know it will pass. Distract yourself, eat something good, remind yourself of all the reasons you love being AF.

                  :huggy
                  Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

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                    Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                    Oh Pav and here i was thinking i was sailing along and thinking today on my drive home from Kieras how damn grateful i am that i dont drink. Be strong and as we know those feelings will go but i hate now that hey can linger around for a few days. Its not that we want to drink its just we still get those thoughts. I know you wont let your quit buddy down, god i would need counselling if you did that one! Do not forget the massacre!

                    I had a wonderful time with Kiera and her hubs. We did the bingo, wow an eye opener for sure. Is all done by computers now and so gone are the days of a person pulling the ball out and saying "legs 11". Today we went for a 6k walk and had a coffee while her dog was at obedience school. These are the times i am grateful i dont drink. It has take me awhile to feel the gratitude of no drinking, i never quite got that but now i do.

                    LB so glad that hubs is ok and i do hope it all works out. I do know that i told Liam when he had his crack addiction that if he didnt help himself this time then i could not do it for him again and again and again. He had a wonderful counsellor and after the initial consult where Liam proceeded to tell me the counsellor would be "talking out his arse", the formed a very special bond. It was hard for him to open up but i was the best thing he did to help in beating his addiction.

                    Well i have housework to do, if i can walk that is. Hugs to all and i will be on later. it is a beautiful day in melbourne, the sun is shining and life doesnt get any better than what it is now. i am totally grateful.
                    AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                      Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                      Hi,

                      All good here. I get in funky moods sometimes, but I had an incident at work that got me agitated beyond how I should have reacted. In my dream I decided that I wanted a drink but didn't want to get drunk so I put a half of a shot in a large glass and filled it full with mixer. I drank about a quarter of it and got that nice, warm, syrupy feeling for about 15 seconds before being unbelievably pissed off that I had done that. WTF!? I was so flabergasted. I made all of these bargains with myself about how I would come on here as usual and pretend it didn't happen. I COULDN'T possibly be back at day 1. No one would know. And then the guilt set in. I knew I would know, and wouldn't be able to lie. I'll just email NoSugar and tell her - that's what I'll do... But no way she would let me not be honest here. Fortunately I woke up about then. I haven't had a drinking dream in a long time - I wonder where that came from.

                      The family party was fun - I actually like my family. I still felt out of sorts and didn't laugh as much as I usually do. My sister brought a bottle of wine from a small vineyard and after the whole story of watching the owner put the label on it herself, had a glass with her friend. I had to pass the glass to my mom and back, and really just wanted a taste. I didn't want the alcohol, but we all know where that would lead. Of course, being normies, they left the half bottle they didn't drink behind. Who does THAT?

                      LB - Glad your daughter is there for you. Hope your dh uses this as a chance to get the help he needs.

                      LC - You definitely did the right thing. That sounds very manipulative of their dad. You set a good example for your kids of how to make and hold boundaries that are important. They may be disappointed this weekend, but they learned a valuable life lesson.

                      Thanks for the support, Jane, Ava and Wags. No way I would drink - I would have to come do counseling with you, Ava.

                      J-Vo - Complacency is not our friend. That's why I keep coming here, even when I am not sure how it helps (of course, I want to check in with you all, too).

                      Missing some loamers. Hope you check in soon.

                      xo
                      Pav

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                        Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                        Way to go Pav! It's wierd, some days are hard with family, for really no reason. I love my family too but every once in awhile I feel out of sorts with them.
                        Proud of you Wags!

                        Ava, it is beautiful here too. I have been cleaning my house and my moms. It was a good day for sure.

                        Lil B, glad your hubby is home and your talking each other.

                        Jane, I love your Avatar.

                        Goodnight
                        Narilly

                        "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
                        "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

                        AF April 12, 2014

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                          Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                          Hey loamers. Back....again! But this time I feel more ready.
                          I feel I have accepted that I am never going to be a normal drinker and nor do I want to be.
                          I have opened up to people this week and told them I have a problem with drinking and need to stop.
                          It will be a month tomorrow since I took that first drink after 88 days sober.
                          But that is ok.....there was still doubt. I am walking into this quit with no doubt whatsoever.......
                          IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                          Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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                            Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                            Pav - great job at the family gathering!

                            Daisy - glad you're back. You sound much more resolute in your last post. Use that strong stance and flex your AF muscles - you can do this!

                            LB and LC
                            - :l to both of you

                            Ava
                            - glad you had such a nice time with your daughter


                            I'm off for my second day of paddling races. Tonight is the big post-race event in the beer garden. I've heard a few people mentioning that they have to work early tomorrow, and I might just use that as my excuse for not drinking.

                            If there's on thing I've learned from paddling this summer (and how it has helped me stay sober), it's that I am much stronger about not drinking when I have something later in the day or the next day that would somehow be compromised by drinking now. For example, no way would I have even thought about drinking last night because I have to race today and I want to do well.

                            I hope to someday reach a point where simply living a fantastic AF life will be enough incentive, but right now I think it will help me to make sure I always have something "tomorrow" when I start feeling tempted. Maybe I'll start paddling every day!

                            Have a great MAE everyone, and send me strength for this eve!

                            :h Wags
                            Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

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                              Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                              Pav, how nice that your subconscious is working so hard to keep you on track! Those drinking dreams are such great motivators even though they often leave us feeling really unsettled - almost as weird as the disconnect between knowing that you won't drink while bombarding yourself with reasons why you need to, could, and should. I hate ambivalence like that and for so long didn't make myself experience it. I just drank. Talk about taking the easy way out. I'm sorry you've had a troubled weekend but as long as you know deep inside that drinking isn't an option for you, you'll be ok. I wrote last week about feeling like you've described. I felt like I was outside myself, observing, and thinking about what I'd sure like to do if I wasn't me. The more clinically and objectively you can look at it, the less upsetting and uncomfortable it is, I think.

                              LB, I'm so glad your husband is home. I hope he can use this bad experience to really commit to the life you both deserve.

                              Daisy, it sounds like you've taken steps to make it different this time. That's great! There's no point in repeating the same experiment over and over without changing something. You've come back quickly each time recently rather than disappearing for quite awhile. I think that is a signal that you are truly ready. I hope we hear from you often so we can know that you're doing well.

                              Wags, having something to look forward to each day sounds like not only a great tool for getting sober but for living! It doesn't always gave to be a big event like a race. Anticipating a quiet day of reading and walking your dog without the burdens of headache and regret can be enough. Hope your race goes well today and that you enjoy the whole event.

                              Ava, I've seen your posts here and in other threads. It sounds like the Gratitude Fairy bit you ! I think that appreciating all
                              the changes in my life from the least little thing like not having to figure out how to dispose of empties to the greatest of again loving and respecting myself has been my single most powerful tool and one I continue to use all day, every day. Other people write that they never even think about drinking after awhile. Maybe someday that will be true for me but for now, it occurs to me many times every day how grateful I am to be free.

                              Jane, are you still feeling pretty good? I hope so!

                              Nar, I hope things at work settle down this week. I guess if you have the motivation to clean two
                              houses, you're doing pretty well!

                              LC, it's great you didn't allow yourself to be manipulated! You might have felt selfish with your decision but I bet in the long run, you did what was best for everyone. I know that my resentment is obvious when I feel coerced - and that can ruin things for everyone.

                              Hope you're having a nice weekend with your family, J-vo, and not letting any of their behaviors or comments stress you out or make you doubt that you're a strong, confident, independent, capable, sober woman!

                              :h

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                                Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                                Thank you NoSugar.....I have 'come out' to people and admitted I have a drinking problem. I feel a lot lighter for doing that. Today I feel excited and happy that I have made the decision. I feel confident today and am looking forward to getting back to feeling good.
                                I kept coming back and saying day one then drinking again by the evening. Looking back, each time I wrote it down I did not feel confident that I would carry it through....just hoped I could. This feels different.
                                IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                                Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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