Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Jane, Maybe you could start a new thread: How to do sh*t on New MWO ! You could explain how to fix avatars and post pictures, Fly could explain the code for signature links (that I still can't do right!) and how to multi-quote ... It could be the most useful thread on the site!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I would think under Introduction and General Discussion. It might help someone not try to reinvent the wheel here! (Not under Dis 'n Dat where it would be lost forever :H).

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

A quick hello loamers. Welcome back Jvo, great to have you back on board and Daisy too.

Well Nar we are having a lovely 26 degree day today so a dress it is. i am looking forward to summer but i dont like the 40 degree days.
Running late for work as per usual. Everyone is off work as the kiddies have 2 weeks school holidays so it is nice and peaceful, mind you being off work sick last week i have enough work to last me for the next fortnight.
Had mia over last night, she went to visit her father so had to get the goss from that one, he is still busily smoking his pot, drinking his beer and not working. Lucky him i say!
well better get my arse into gear.
Pav we are heading up to 300 days soon, where has the bloody time gone. I still think it is someone else doing this and its getting pretty easy now. Moods are settling down but hey that could change tomorrow.

[Byrdlady]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Simple as that, huh?
WTH?????

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Girls, and thanks for the welcome back.

I'm sure some of you wandered why I wanted to try Soberistas, and Pav, you asked if I hoped to get something from them that I didn't have here. Well, honestly, I didn't think this site was going very well. There had been lots of problems with it for the past several months, so when I started visiting soberistas, I saw a wealth of information including articles, blogs, videos that caught my eye. But what I didn't foresee was the absence of what we have here. The interaction daily with a close-knit of girls who care about one another. I thought I could keep loading myself up with information, but the truth is, recovery isn't all about information overload. It's about connections with people you care about, know so well, and can support and receive the support. The replies on that site are very slow. The action is a fraction of what I need in my recovery. I need daily feedback, need to give love and support here, so I've learned a great lesson, and one I thought I knew already...what's important are people, not things. Not articles, videos, and other stuff that we can easily go on any site and share the information here. It's carrying each other through our days, supporting each other through those moments. That's what I didn't get, and that's what I need.

NS, great article "The Masks of Addiction." "Authenticity...escaping the ghosts of the past and living and loving as simply and honestly as possible. Recovery is a process of rebuilding the self, one piece at a time, one moment at a time."

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Greetings Loamers,

Why aren't my bars full and lit up?!

Good to see you back J-vo. Beaut day here. Feeling somewhat settled and energised these days.

Have a bewdy out there. G

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I would love to know what the bars mean, Mr. G! I had all sorts of speculations about them when only AVA had them but now that I do, too, I really don't know... It's great to hear that you're feeling good!

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I am very frustrated with fumbling my way around this site. I have posted my issues but have not had any response.
I have to log back in when I change tabs and it always takes me to the same place.
OK enough complaining.
j-vo glad u are back with us. I agree that we need the 1-1 support and that is why I keep coming back every day.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

That must be so frustrating, DB - and you know your way around a computer! I hope everything functions correctly for you after the next update.

Well, J-vo I hear you want articles ... Just read these tonight - they are dense but fascinating articles about the biogenic (vs. psychogenic) model of addiction:
http://www.lakesidemilam.com/alcohol...sm-revolution/
http://www.lakesidemilam.com/alcohol...sm-revolution/

This is the part that initially got my attention:


"Briefly, the psychogenic model is based on the nearly universal belief that alcoholism is a symptom or consequence of an underlying character defect, a self-destructive response to psychological and social problems, a learned behavior. The biogenic model recognizes that alcoholism is a primary addictive response to alcohol in a biologically susceptible drinker, regardless of character and personality, or of cultural or psychosocial influences.

Overshadowed by the multitude of researchers who were busy confirming that the psychogenic paradigm is devoid of any legitimate data base, many others were quietly compiling a massive amount of empirical evidence that alcoholism is a primary, biogenic disorder. As all longitudinal studies have verified, all of the psychopathology of alcoholism, as alcoholism, is of neuropsychological origin. However, this fact is disguised because alcoholism is never diagnosed until after character and personality are distorted and normal emotions are neurologically augmented to abnormal levels of chronic anguish, fear, resentment, guilt, and depression. It is these distortions that clinically identify alcoholism, not the original character and personality. The earlier effects of trauma or abuse, or of being raised in a dysfunctional alcoholic family, are complications—but not contributing causes—of alcoholism."

http://www.amazon.com/Under-Influenc...mm_kin_title_0
http://www.amazon.com/Ending-Drug-Ad...+Milam%2C+Ph.D.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS, thanks for the great links, as Usual! You are a wealth of information.

J-Vo, it's all about 'the connection' I know that really helps me. I feel a very strong connection to you girls and that helps me stay sober. It's all about the Love and we love you J-Vo.

HeyJane, your post made me smile. The one about my struggle with staying AF when having a get together. Lol!
Hey, did you Google 'The Hundred Foot Journey'? Watch the movie with your hubby, it is awesome. It is Indian and French, about cooking.

Dottie, hang in there with the site. Growing pains I guess.

Ava, it is 26 here right now at 8pm, that never happens. Usually it cools off at night.pretty crazy eh?

Pav, Yes, Gratitude. Got it!

Xx

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, all:

Jane, what a lovely description of Narilly. I think a perfect job for you would be a writer/commenter of some sort. You REALLY get things and can put them in a way no one else can. There are a million "how to" videos on YouTube with digital directions like you list above. Find something that is complicated, put together a little video with your humor and blunt descriptions and voila! Insta job - do at home - creative. Oh wait. The pay. Well, back to the drawing board...Or the brawing doard. I have figured out how to change my avatar, but I click on the pic I want (my flowers back) and it doesn't upload. Will try again.

J-Vo - Makes sense. Thanks for answering what I realize now could have been a pretty personal question. I'm glad you're back.

NS - Another great source for information. The question is - now what? What do we do with that information? It can help me get over my shame of "letting" this happen to me, but can that information change minds? How far did you have to dig for it?

Daisy - I saw you poke your head in here. Sit tight, and get back on that horse. We're here for you!

Good to see you G, and super glad to hear you doing well. If those bars were posi-meters you would definitely have a full set.

Ava - 300 IS sneaking up on us. And then on to 365. I can't believe this is me, either. I saw Molly got 1,000 days - don't forget Aug. 2016...

I had a very sweet evening with my kids and was taken by how nice it is to be present for them - even putting wart medicine on my little one's (1,000) warts was gratifying. A unique bonding experience.

Hope you are all super fantastic.

xo
Pav

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;n2513955 wrote:

The biogenic model recognizes that alcoholism is a primary addictive response to alcohol in a biologically susceptible drinker, regardless of character and personality, or of cultural or psychosocial influences.

.

Yep.

Yes Jane, that was me with the mudcake!

NS and Ava will be off the charts with their meter ratings any day now!

Wishing all a safe, sober and magical week.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'm going to co a quick check in.
I agree J-vo. The support we get here is exceptional.
NS i sent that article to my hubby. The masks. Reminds me of Mardi Gras. Laugh now, cry later.
I woke up late.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi everyone,

Sorry for my absence on here, and thanks to everyone who reached out to me. I haven't been drinking - I've just been having a hard time getting onto this new site. I think it's finally working better and thanks to NS I found this thread again (thanks!).

Things have been good on my end. I actually met someone and have been seeing them regularly, and I think this might be someone I spend the rest of my life with. It's way too soon to tell, but things are awesome and there is a lot of promise, so I've been really happy lately. I couldn't and wouldn't have met this person if I hadn't stopped drinking.

I'll read back and catch up with everyone.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pavati;n2513998 wrote: The question is - now what? What do we do with that information? It can help me get over my shame of "letting" this happen to me, but can that information change minds? How far did you have to dig for it?

Well, I think 'now what' depends on who you are.

If, like me (and it sounds like you are ) you're a person who was almost incapacitated by guilt and regret because you caused this or at a minimum allowed it to happen, it might help you give up the pointless self-flagellation and find the strength to start taking the necessary steps to get free.

If you've spent a great deal of time, like I have, trying to figure out what was "wrong" with yourself that made you susceptible to this and have ended up doubting your recollections of your childhood experiences and the parenting you received and have tried to figure out which elements of your personality contributed to this, this information is reassuring in that it explains how people of all backgrounds and personality types can become addicted - addiction does not select or discriminate on the basis of background or psychology, but on the basis of biology.

If you're a person who has stopped drinking but deep down believe you are doomed to fail because of "co-existing pathologies", it might help you understand that those often develop subsequent to addiction, and generally resolve after the person has healed.

If you are a person who had mental health issues prior to the development of an addiction, it might enable you to quit blaming everything on your drinking and obtain medication and/or therapy for those issues.

If you can't understand why your siblings or spouse or friends can drink a lot but do not suffer from the compulsions and other consequences you do, this explains why the dose is not the issue as much of the physiological responses of the drinker.

If you can't understand why you aren't feeling better sooner, this explains how long it really can take to heal.

If you are an alcoholic and you think you can learn to moderate your drinking, this explains why you cannot - and why anyone who can drink moderately (or even heavily but with total control of the situation) is, by definition, not an alcoholic.

If you are someone who loves an alcoholic, it would give you hope that the person you used to know can resurface -- that that is the real person.

I you're someone who tries to help alcoholics, it would give you confidence that your efforts are worth it.