Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Dottie :l
My hubby feels genuine regret. This might possibly be a breakthrough. I think honest regret can change our lives. It wasnt until i was so regretful and sick of my actions that i was ready to change.
Have a good visit J-vo.
I'm sorry i haven't been contributing much lately, but I am here and getting so much out of everyone else's posts.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi ladies, glad yor dad is ok Pav.

NS, the smell of old wine making you gag. Gross, I remember that smell. I remember Counting the bottles in the morning and trying to justify the number of them. Feeling like shit until supper time or even the next day. Having purple lips and mouth from the wine and my face being bloated.
I just realized that the right side of my face was always a little bloated when I drank. I thought it was just normal, I hurt it in a car accident over 30 years ago. It hasn't been bloated since April, which I just realized! How cool is that? I thought it was just normally bloated because of the accident.

That stuff is poison, we all know it.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

narilly;n2514794 wrote:
Having purple lips and mouth from the wine and my face being bloated.
That stuff is poison, we all know it.

I used to be embarrassed when I would go to the dentist with my permanently stained tongue. I always emphasized how much coffee I drank...
That's great that the puffiness is gone! Who knows what else we were doing to ourselves by regularly consuming high doses of a poison?? It all seems so crazy now.


Hi, LB! So glad your husband might be finding his way out.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, All:

NS - I never acknowledged your "what to do with the information" post. THANKS so much for taking the time to write that. I get how individuals can use it, I just wonder about recovery advocacy - how can we, who have a lot at stake, convince others that we're not evil, weak people? And there I go again, worrying about what people think about me. But understanding addiction will also help us treat it. I have not seen the whole Anonymous People doco, but I have read a lot about it and listened to the director interviewed on the Bubble Hour - I think that's their point. Not everyone needs to go wave a flag about recovery, but the more of us who are "out," the more understanding we will get from others. Jane, you watched it recently, as I recall.

Thanks for the love for my dad. He's ok now, although I didn't get to talk to him.

Dinner with great friends. One of them has a dad who is a prescription drug addict who just relapsed on Friday. She is very sad about it because although he doesn't have a choice about whether or not to be an addict, she believes he doesn't work hard enough to stay sober. Our conversation was a good reminder to me that staying sober is a lifetime's work. Not nothing, but a hell of a lot easier than a lifetime working to stay alive and drunk at the same time.

Nar - My memory is that horrible anxiety I felt after the Thanksgiving massacre. I can conjure that feeling by walking up around the block and sitting on a spot where I sat that day, so afraid and lonely, or by reading my journal. Brings me right back.

Dot - I hope all of your tests are ok - that must be a lot of stress. I hope you're feeling ok.

Lb - Let's hope this time your hubs gets it. He's so lucky to have you!

Rivergal, I agree.

ANYONE READING AND CONSIDERING POSTING - POST AWAY. We are on a serious mission to get and stay sober!

xo
Pav

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

hey loamers, god it is not easy finding any threads these days, puts one off posting in the mornings before work atm. by the time i find something its time to get going.

Dot i hope you are okay, good thing you gave up drinking when you did, i remember how sick you were then and giving up was your only real option (al that is).

Today was botox day at work and a patient came in and said how great i looked and how clear my eyes were and had i had any "work done" on myself. All i can say is i must have looked bad while drinking but i see this patient every three months so as time goes on i must be looking better and better. Even Mia said the other day i even looked happy and healthy.

I also had coffee with my friend who has cancer and told him i was an alcoholic. I had told him i drank too much previously but we were having a "deep and meaningful" about life the universe and everything so i told him. He told me i was a wonderful and strong person. I told him he was too. He has become a very very dear friend and i cant imagine what he deals with daily in whether he will live or die. We were talking about the prejudice about people not drinking and he has not drank since 1999, he said he just didnt like it, wasnt an alky but he even said he gets shit put on him oh and he is gay and has hiv so he has had all barrels of shit thrown on him. He teaches me to appreciate each and every day and to make the most of it and to be humble to others. No one really knows what each of us goes through and until we get to know that person until then we just assume. Oh he also said if i had a penis he would marry me! Now thats love. ha ha. (oh i tried to be serious)

Well time for dinner, no walking today, way too cold. Going to snuggle in bed and thank god when i wake up tomorrow it will be friday.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi everyone....haven't disappeared. Still reading and keeping up........

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning ladies,
Beautiful cool morning here. I love fall..hate winter...
Doc is later today. I have my binder full of info for him to look at. He can see some of the records on line but not all of them are there.
I am worried since my mom had heart issues. But I am fairly healthy otherwise so I will hope for the best....
Back later.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

little beagle;n2514777 wrote: Dottie :l
My hubby feels genuine regret. This might possibly be a breakthrough. I think honest regret can change our lives. It wasnt until i was so regretful and sick of my actions that i was ready to change.
Have a good visit J-vo.
I'm sorry i haven't been contributing much lately, but I am here and getting so much out of everyone else's posts.

oh, great news LB! I will be praying this is the turning point he needs.
Best to you both. x

[Ginger999]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;n2513955 wrote: That must be so frustrating, DB - and you know your way around a computer! I hope everything functions correctly for you after the next update.

Well, J-vo I hear you want articles ... Just read these tonight - they are dense but fascinating articles about the biogenic (vs. psychogenic) model of addiction:
http://www.lakesidemilam.com/alcohol...sm-revolution/
http://www.lakesidemilam.com/alcohol...sm-revolution/

This is the part that initially got my attention:


"Briefly, the psychogenic model is based on the nearly universal belief that alcoholism is a symptom or consequence of an underlying character defect, a self-destructive response to psychological and social problems, a learned behavior. The biogenic model recognizes that alcoholism is a primary addictive response to alcohol in a biologically susceptible drinker, regardless of character and personality, or of cultural or psychosocial influences.

Overshadowed by the multitude of researchers who were busy confirming that the psychogenic paradigm is devoid of any legitimate data base, many others were quietly compiling a massive amount of empirical evidence that alcoholism is a primary, biogenic disorder. As all longitudinal studies have verified, all of the psychopathology of alcoholism, as alcoholism, is of neuropsychological origin. However, this fact is disguised because alcoholism is never diagnosed until after character and personality are distorted and normal emotions are neurologically augmented to abnormal levels of chronic anguish, fear, resentment, guilt, and depression. It is these distortions that clinically identify alcoholism, not the original character and personality. The earlier effects of trauma or abuse, or of being raised in a dysfunctional alcoholic family, are complications—but not contributing causes—of alcoholism."

http://www.amazon.com/Under-Influenc...mm_kin_title_0
http://www.amazon.com/Ending-Drug-Ad...+Milam%2C+Ph.D.

NS, maybe you should create a thread and add all your great resources there for a central repository of links we can go back to or have you all ready done that?

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I agree Ginger. Having all these wonderful links in one spot.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks, Ginger, but no, I've not been all that organized about my "education". I've just posted things that I found interesting at the time.

Pav, I have not been brave enough to be open about all of this although deep down, I don't think the societal (and medical community's) view will change until that becomes the norm for all of us. Anne Lamott had a fabulous post yesterday about the gifts of being open and honest: https://www.facebook.com/AnneLamott.
Is your dad still doing ok?

J-vo, Please don't let those weird family dynamics get to you! That was then, this is now . Have FUN!

DB, I hope your doctor's appointment went well and that you, LB, are seeing even more progress today on the homefront!

Ava, I bet you brighten up your friend's life when you spend time with him. Your brand of humor is probably a big relief when so many people are probably so careful and worried about what they say around him.

Hey, Daisy, El, and RiverGal - those were quick stops! How are you doing?

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Are you awake, AVA? Happy day 300! xx - NS

Sorry you aren't having a good one, Jane. xx to you, too!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE all,

Still hanging in there and happy on my end. Not liking this new site so much but it'll probably just take time to adjust. Seems like everyone is doing pretty well aside from some temptations and some folks not feeling well. Hugs to all of you,

AVA - 300 days today??? That's awesome! It'll be a year before you know it.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Loamers,
Looks as though the site will be down from the 29th of Sept until Friday the 3rd. Make plans to have contact in place! I have phone numbers and emails, so please do the same.

NS, my family visit was great last night. Sis and mom drank wine as usual, but it was just fun laughing and enjoying the conversation without. I'm more interesting when I'm not drinking as I can think of good punch lines really quick...well, sometimes!

LB, I'm glad you're seeing progress in your hubby. I hope he considers outside support. We all need it.

Nar, It is a great feeling of not having that bloated face and belly, isn't it! I hate the smell of alcohol on other people's breath. I can smell it from across the room sometimes.

NS, we need to keep remembering everyday that alcohol is a poison that causes us to be ill.

Pav, I watched the Anonymous People as well. I don't know if people understanding and accepting alcoholsim as a disease will happen any time soon. We're still learning about it and trying to accept that it's not all of our fault. Trying to convince ourselves is first. But how important is it that others know? People close to me know I don't drink anymore. And that's all that matters to me right now. But to get the world to understand, well, more people like on that doco will come out but people with no al problems don't watch that stuff. Just like I don't watch things on obseity or diabetis. We can proably bet that there will always be judgment of some sort as it's human nature, but we have to stay strong. And yes, it takes a lifetime of work, but the payment for it is worth it. Peace, happiness just to name a few.

Ava, Happy 300!!! How awesome! you have my phone number and can skype if you're feeling it next week when the site is down. Let me know. I miss you. Anyhow, the talk with your friend sounds lovely. Everyone is fighting their own battle and we need to be kind to all. We don't know what they're going through. But gifts of sobriety are being able to live each day. My sister, who loves celebrating her birthday, usually starts celebraing early and continues on for a month - not necessarily with alcohol, but that's usually included somewhere. She asked me when I was going to start celebrating my 50th. It's not until February, but I told her I celebrate every single day now.

Dottie hope your appt went well.

Hi Daisy, El, Jane, and Wags!

I'm pooped. Long day, and lots of work I had to bring home. Almost my bedtime and still stuff to do. I could never have been so productive while drinking. Never. AND I realized that probably for the last 10 years, I'd already had a sick day in September. That ain't happening this year! Love to you all.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Here's a thread not to miss: https://www.mywayout.org/community/fo...de#post2515077

Glad you're doing well, Wags!