Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[giraffe1234]

Hi everyone
Back home after a series of trips and holidays - nicely fattened up and totally relaxed. Mozambique was lovely, the wedding was beautiful, and the Cape winelands scenery stunning.
Tomorrow (Sunday) is going to be a series of another kind: Heaps upon heaps of laundry to be done.
Monday it's back to work; nose to the grindstone.
Hope you are all doing well, it is really nice to check in again!
xxx

[narilly]

Giraffe,the wedding sounds so exotic! I can't imagine being in Mozambique ornThe Cape, pretty cool.

Got up early this morning. I love saying that because I have spent years being hungover on Saturday. Ifirst I went for a long walk with my hubby and doggie then went to the market and bought a big a turkey which is brining now. I made beets and stuffing and now I'm going to relax, maybe watch baseball with hubby. It is so nice to feel good!

Lil B, thinking about you.

NS, time to ramp up this thread!

Has anyone heard from Rooni?

Talk soon.
Xx

[available]

Morning loamers

Jvo the no anxiety is a fantastic feeling though yesterday i was feeling anxious and also the day before. Not sure why but i took a xanax which i have not taken in months and after a few hours i had settled down. Maybe it was my dream about going to Siberia and i left my passport at home, not that i want to ever go to Siberia but liam and mia went without me. I just figured i was not going to let it get full blown and i know the signs just not the reason this time.

Great to have you back Giraffe, i just think of how great your boobs must have looked lol. Glad you had a lovely time and are back though. I see its nearly a year coming up for you.

Nar arent mornings the best now? I have kid bodies through the house as it was liams birthday. I remember that if i was drinking, i would have drank way too much as a great excuse to drink in front of people and be funny and amusing (not) and woken up feeling like death. So many positives to this non drinking life.

Its going to be 30 degrees today so will go for a walk this afternoon, well maybe soon if i get motivated but highly unlikely. I am just going to enjoy the day.

[little beagle]

Ava is the Siberia you has the dream about the same one I am thinking of? With all the snow? That right there would give me days of anxiety. Not so big on that much cold.
Narilly that reminds me of you. Have a great Thanksgiving. I love brining the turkey.
we hung Halloween lights and my daughter went to the Halloween Ball tonight. I was invited, but declined this year. I will be going to the parade though. Yes we have parades for every occasion down here.
Giraffe love your Avatar. And I'm glad you had such a nice trip. Sounds memorable.

[narilly]

Crap, I just lost a long post!
Ava, no worries, I have a big coat and boots if you ever want to go to Siberia.
J-Vo, I think we all struggle with unrealistic expectations. It's good for us to realize it for sure.

Lil, ya brining Turkey, it is good.
I spent the day cooking with my son yesterday. We made beets, stuffing and brined the turkey. It was so fun. I love that kid. He is turning into quite a smart young man. He seems to be keeping his drinking under control, cross my fingers anyway, he is a way better drinker than I was at that age. I drank way more and was really stupid about it at that age.
A lot of it had to do with the guy I was seeing. He was a total alcoholic.
This guy is my Facebook friend now and he is just a mess. He is diabetic and has gone through many relationships, has a son he doesn't know, and he is just frickin wierd. I honestly think he has brain damage from all the years of drinking. His posts are full of spelling mistakes and basically ramblings about how he does his best and he has been done wrong by others, blah blah blah.
Omg, I am so glad I didn't hurt myself like that.
Anyway, love you Gloamers.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

[giraffe1234]

Nar, I really like your signature line: "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"
Something I want to be reminded of daily.

We don't have Thanksgiving in SA - it's a tradition I've only seen in movies and shows, and I find it quite interesting. It certainly seems like a good family get-together with lots of tasty food!

[little beagle]

So many times I have been grateful I don't drink this weekend. That I can appreciate the magic of ordinary days.

[Pavati]

Hi, Ladies:

This is something I thought of today - when someone says "I've got this! I've seen the light!" I start to worry. I think that is why I love coming to this thread - everyone is so open and honest that this staying sober shit is a fight! It is not always, and not all consuming, but we need to remember that this is a journey with no end. When a long time sober person drinks again it throws me into deep contemplation and reminds me that I DON'T want to drink.

Giraffe - your adventures sound wonderful. I'm not a fan of US Thanksgiving because of the forced family nature of it, and I'm not a huge turkey fan, but I do love getting together with my family for great food and laughter. I bristle at the idea of the "tradition" of the "holiday season" here, which is why it is truly a miracle that I quit drinking on Dec. 2.

I have to go get myself to bed now. Hope you all have great weeks back at work.

Pav

[narilly]

Goodnight everyone. We had a great meal today and lots of leftovers for the week. Tomorrow is a holiday so I am sleeping in!
I didn't drink today, I felt the pull but resisted. I just don't go there. 'its OFF the table' right Pav?

Giraffe, I guess it's a North American thing. I think of it as a time to give thanks for all we have and a great time to hang out with family. The holiday is a bonus.
So glad I didn't drink today. I kept thinking that if I drink, one won't be enough and I don't want to struggle trying not to drink more after having one. I never win that struggle,. The thought of being drunk scares me. The only way to have the life I want is not to drink.

Goodnight.

[j-vo]

Hi Ladies,
Yes, I agree, Pav, that this journey will never end and we need to walk this path forever. If not, we don't get to live the life we want.

Ava, anxiety will visit from time to time, but not like it used to. Just like we have memories of the stuff we did. We'll remember them, and can't will them out of our minds - well maybe we can, but these are just moments, thoughts, and some things that we have to sit with that are uncomfortable.

LB, are the doggies marching in the parade? Yes, Magic of Ordinary Days. A great things.

Nar, glad you didn't stay with that man! And glad you enjoyed cooking with your son. Nothing cooler than that.

Giraffe, welcome back! Sounds like you had a beautiful vacation! Any issues with wanting to drink?

I think I made the wrong choice of cutting my anti-depressant in half six weeks ago. I've been feeling really down, and that kind of down that I can't shake. So I'm going to go back on what I was on. I really thought I was ready to cut it in half, but I guess I"m not at this time. : (
Have a great night.

[little beagle]

J-vo I saw where they were talking about taking things slowly and letting them happen naturally. I still have anxiety and I recently had to start a mild antidepressant. It's so much better then feeling down all the time.
No the doggies don't get to march in this parade. But they can go to it.
Pav I have enjoyed your posts. You sound strong.
Narilly I am so glad you didn't take that drink. We all go through times when we feel weak. I have a tattoo across my mind's eye. No matter what. And yes watching someone struggle first hand is a big deterrent.

So many people just don't know what we go through. Don't understand that soul destroying drive to drink or do drugs. The true nature of addiction. But they give advice and pass judgement. Some pass judgement on me for staying with my hubby. I have even been accused of having an addiction to the drama and pain of the situation. Sigh. No I don't believe that. But I do understand being in the grips of it. It's so hard to shake loose. Once we do get free, staying free is SO much easier then trying to do it again.
Please be strong. Use your emergency plan. Do whatever it takes. It's hell being held hostage by addiction. It'sfreedom to be sober.

[NoSugar]

If the person who suggested you were addicted to the drama had read your posts here, LB, s/he would never have dared to say such a thing. You have expressed nothing but love and compassion for your husband in the face of your anger at and frustration with addiction. You have not been receiving any "brain rewards" from the situation - other than whatever reward comes from knowing you are trying to figure out and do the best thing.

I hope you get your AD dose figured out quickly, J-Vo, and I'm sorry you've been feeling down.

Nar, did you go to an AA meeting? If so, how did you like it?

I read a blog post this evening by a woman who had been AF since March, 2013. She decided to drink a bottle of wine to satisfy her curiosity and "get it over with". I don't think addiction arises because we are morally weak or of flawed character but once we have been AF long enough to heal our brains and think clearly, I do feel there is a responsibility to consistently choose not to drink. I no longer have the "excuse" of not knowing the ultimate consequences of my consuming alcohol. And once we know, it is our responsibility to set things in place so we can make the right choice. Let's keep doing that.

[available]

LB i never knew why or understood why my brother could not just give up al and have a life until i became what he was. I lost him to al and his addiction. i felt i could not help him if he did not help himself so i walked away (but this was after many many years of al abuse). I had to, i had a husband and 4 young children. Do i regret that decision? I certainly do, i didnt before but i certainly do now that i know how he must have felt, what he must have been going through daily, the fights internally, the depression, anxiety, shame, regret and the loss. He was in the depths of alcoholism very badly and had decided to go to rehab and after a short week in there his body started to shut down and he died a month later. Do normal people understand addiction, no, not at all. Only an addict understands another, the rest are ignorant to what we go through and live with. The good thing is we dont listen to them, we pretend to and look interested and do what we know is best. I do know that my brother were he alive would be proud of me today and would have said "good on you sis, you are beating this fucking drug".

Jvo if the drugs help take them. its much better to be happy than sad. I know i went off my ad's way too early when i stopped drinking.

Well i am at work and not wanting to work. went to see robert (cancer friend) who is in hospital to get his pain under control. Well he was off his face on something that i told him i wanted too. we had such a great hour, today we laughed and talked about our childhood, the time went way too quick. he hopefully goes home on thursday and back to hospital in 12 days for his op. Its great to see him laugh.

[narilly]

J-Vo, I didn't go to AA but I think I will next week. I was too busy cooking turkey for the 14 people that came over. It was fun. Hey, take your full dose. If your not ready your not ready. In time you will be ready.

NS, why would that lady do that? Did she dring the bottle and then just stop? That would be the beginning of a run for me.

Ava, you are at work? I today is a holiday here and tomorrow I don't work because of an electrical fire downtown. (First time that has happened). Anyway, I am happy I get another day off. Yes!!
Your friend Robert must love seeing you, it's so good to laugh when you are sick.

[Pavati]

Hi,

Yes, Nar, OFF THE TABLE. Weird to me that people in my life keep offering...

NS - That complacency thing is a pain - you just want it to be OVER! It is like my knee in a way - if I take care of it and do what I'm supposed to do, it feels a lot better. Then I stop taking care of it and it starts hurting again. Why can't I just keep taking care of it when it feels good? Fortunately, I do have the memory of last winter to fall back on when I think I got this handled, and I also have the memory of a year trying to "moderate" to understand how I DON'T have this handled. And thankfully I am logical and I believe in science, so all of this reading to understand addiction also helps me make the rational decision to not drink. I feel so lucky that I found MWO and was able to quit before it got to terrible, but I can see that I was headed in a terrible direction.

J-Vo - TTFP if it makes you feel better. I think that depression is another one of those illnesses where people start to feel better and they think they don't need medication any more - does that happen to you?

LB - Hah! Bring whoever said that to me, and I'll take care of them. I might just have a brick myself...

Ava - Robert is lucky to have you - sounds like a fun visit.

Giraffe - Did your girls look fabu?? Forgot about that...

Jane? Wags? Ginger? Star? LC? So many we're still missing. Come say hi.

xo
Pav