Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Pavati]

And Nar, that sounds scary. Hope all is well.

xo

[j-vo]

Yeah, I'm full of great ideas although when it comes to implementing them, not too good. Follow thru with any project , goal, or sobriety has been my downfall. I always have these f
Great goals, and I'm good for some time, then fail...all of them. Well, most. It seems as im crawling through life when I could be moving at a much brisker pace,

I've got to get priorities in order And for me it looks as though I need to see a specialist. Yep. Something I've been avoiding. So Im going to be looking for one. I not only need face to face but need special head care if u know what I mean.

Goodnight

[little beagle]

J-vo you are a special lady.
Pav I try to exercise, but after work I ng all day, well I just don't always follow through.
I will admit I have been feeling a bit down lately, but I am allowing myself a bit of time to feel down. Lately I notice if I don't try and fight the blues or the times I get mad, instead I tell myself just go ahead and feel blue, or angry, or crazy, these times pass a lot quicker and I have a better sense of humor about the whole situation.
I read a very funnt travel book recently. Kevin and I in India. It was hilarious. Reading something frivolous at night right before bed is my luxury.

[narilly]

Pav, I am watching the game too. It is so exciting! I will hope for the Giants because they are your team.
I don't work until Monday now,it is hard to exercise when I am out of my routine. Maybe tomorrow I will go swimming.

At least I am not drinking,.

Xo

[narilly]

J-Vo, the specialist might be very helpful, you never know. Let us know how it goes. We are here for you too.
Xo

[Eloise]

Hey guys!
I feel like I am so disconnected from everyone.
Just starting to try to catch up. I worked the past two weeks as a temp at a school and I will continue for at least one more week. Its has been great but very hectic as I have my art program too. I cannot say how great it is to have a routine outside of the house.
Feels great actually.
No exercise for me either though as I head to work around 7:30.
I will be grateful when the job ends to have my personal time back.

Jvo- I think it is great that you continue your search of self discovery and understanding. It is awesome and puts you in the Above average category in my book... Kudos!

[NoSugar]

It's hard to tell if the lack of energy on MWO is because people are not doing well or if people are struggling because of the lack of energy here. Whichever way it is going, it isn't good. People we care about are choosing to drink. Just like there are group wins, these are group losses.

Because one person drinks does not mean anyone else is destined to fail... that it is just a matter of time... that relapses are inevitable... They absolutely do not have to happen.

But making sure that they don't takes time, energy, commitment and in my opinion, support. Some people who need it aren't asking for it. Some people who are doing well and have the time and energy to give it, myself included, aren't doing as much as they can. I know I've been affected by the lack of involvement all over MWO - there isn't much to respond to and it is hard to think of things worth posting about unless there is a conversation going on.

Today I have something to write about because I'm angry. I'm angry at what addiction does to good-hearted, loving people who would never intentionally hurt their families, friends, or themselves were it not for the compulsions that a drug can cause. I'm angry that some people backed away from MWO during the site change and have not really come back - to help or be helped. Mostly I guess I'm just really frustrated. I know a forum such as this can work and it is hard to see it now not functioning as well as it can.

Things go in cycles and we're probably just in one of the less active phases. If we wait it out and put forth some effort, the energy will probably come back. I just hope that no one else loses focus and chooses to drink in the meantime.

---------------------

X-post, El. It is great to see you! xx NS

[roxane]

i do find myself ending up on one thread and i dont do it intentionally, i know i should post where i can. so here i am. posting.

one thing to say, i dont feel i am the sort to be able to help people. i can suggest/support/direct occasionally but really dont feel i can do any more than that. it would feel like the blind leading the blind and i dont want that responsibility so early. for some, it helps to help. im more than happy to help by being helped!

[jane27]

Hi Loamers,

I've had a very busy couple of days. Trouble shooting/educating myself about mold/dust, air flow, air purification, humidification & de-humidification has felt like 8 minute dating + political round table discussion. Today the entire basement got treated for mold with spray, and they used a special vacuum to flow air outside as they were working. Next week the ducts are being cleaned, and I need to have some sheet rock put up where it had to be torn down. After that I'll need to address de-humidification & possibly look at air purifiers. After THAT I may dip into addressing dust mites. I've been very productive and feel good about that but have had a handful of fleeting fantasies tinged with nostalgic memory about wanting to get fucked up. Not good. That means I need to come back to posting regularly and so that is what I will do. Today is MIL's birthday so we'll be celebrating it at dinner both tonight and tomorrow night. Hubs brother cant make it tonight which is why we are doing a double. Thanks for listening. I look forward to getting back into a routine and I need to back read catch up as well. Wishing everyone a great weekend. xo J

[Pavati]

i do find myself ending up on one thread and i dont do it intentionally, i know i should post where i can. so here i am. posting.

one thing to say, i dont feel i am the sort to be able to help people. i can suggest/support/direct occasionally but really dont feel i can do any more than that. it would feel like the blind leading the blind and i dont want that responsibility so early. for some, it helps to help. im more than happy to help by being helped!

Roxy! You have a lot of time sober - you can help just by being here. New people logging in want to know how you made it this far, what you did, how you feel, what you think. That is the beauty of the community. Ava has helped me this entire way, and although she might think she is queen, she is only one day ahead of me, so she was helping me with one day sober. You are insightful as well, and have a lot to add. You don't have to write a book each time - that's what saved me, realizing that I don't have to respond to every person on every thread.

NS and Molly - thanks for posting that. It is frustrating to see people pull away and then drink, and then feel bad about it. There is someone who is struggling now who showed signs of mental relapse months ago, but did not appreciate it when called on the behavior. I am not trying to shame anyone, but to say that by posting here, we need to be open to feedback - you're saying this, what does it mean? Posting things that aren't even about alcohol can be helpful as well.

Anyway - I hope this is a short trend and not long-term. I hope people come back, firm up their plans, and stay sober. There is so much information about "high bottom," which I think is very relevant to many here - most of us still have homes, jobs and the like. Even my Thanksgiving Massacre was fairly mild and people I was with all weekend have no idea what I went through. Point being, there is SO MUCH INFORMATION out there about how to get and stay sober, and after worrying about it for so long, I can attest to the fact that while difficult in spots, being sober through everything is SO much better than being buzzed through everything.

I'm off to dinner and some live music - I feel like getting in my PJs and going to bed, but I know once I am out I will be happy.

Hope we hear from more of you. Thanks for dropping by, Molly and Rox.

Pav

[available]

Hi Loamers
A bit of quiet time now. Bad bad week for me emotionally but at no time did i want to drink. This is what time does with al, the more distance the easier it is.

My friend with cancer, lets call him Robert shall we, and thats his name lol has been in hospital the past week in a massive amount of pain. The finally transferred him to the oncology ward and found a shadow on his liver. he was very scared and so was i just quietly, they still have not said what it is at this stage. he is due to have his prostate, bowel and bladder out in ten days to give him quality of life. his boyfriend is avoiding robert like the plague and that leaves him very hurt and upset and scared. I have been spending my lunch hours with him and going to visit before work now. Im scared too but its amazing how one can smile when needed. The weather has been crap so have not walked but i did drag my arse out today and feel so much better. If i could cure Roberts cancer by drinking i would be drunk right now but it wont help so i wont drink. instead i will do his washing and cook some silverside that i bought when i stopped for a coffee during my walk.

Oh i was given a bottle of wine at work this week by a patient who told me how nice it was and blah blah blah, like he was advertising the virtues of drinking. i thanked him and bought it home and its in the cupboard. i figured if it was so nice someone can have it for xmas. i did wish it was a bottle of coke zero though.

Well i am thinking of going to pick up mia and do something, i dont want to stay home today. too much to think about and no motivation to do.

stay strong guys and keep on here. Pav and i are coming up for a year soon and its a bit exciting i must say. I never thought i could do it and i do know that my life is so so so much better sober. I still cant figure out how i managed to drive to work everyday hungover.

xxx

[peppersnow]

NS, your post was really insightful and well done, and much appreciated. I'm someone who has been doing well, and who should be doing more to help others than I am. I did get used to being away from the site - so guilty, there. But I also noticed warning signs with my comfort in not checking in as regularly.

I haven't made the Julia Childs pot roast recipe since I quit drinking, as it requires 3 bottles of a good red wine: 3 cups to go into the braising liquid, and 2 bottles plus 1 cup for me to drink while cooking. I made it earlier this week at my daughter's request, but had huge trepidation about it. I only bought the 1 bottle, but dang, there was 1 cup left in the bottle and I wanted it SO bad!! That was the worst craving I've had in many months. I did just plug it up and stick it back up into the cupboard for my husband, but I knew that was a bad sign. And I forgot to post on my 200th day. That was a major red flag.

So here I am committed to being a better MWO member not just for others, but for myself. I can't remember who said this, but I still love the quote: "I am 100% certain that I cannot do this alone." For me, being away or not checking in is the same as being alone because I don't have anyone else in my life who understands besides all of you.

I hope everyone has a great weekend - the energy is lacking, but I believe it will come back. Thank you for your eloquent post, NS. :love:

[peppersnow]

And Ava - am thinking of you and your friend, Robert. Your post choked me up -- He's so lucky to have you in his life...I can't imagine how hard it must be with his boyfriend having cut out. You are his angel!

[Dottie Belle]

Hi all,
Guess this is our new/old home. I will try to post more often.
Going to folks house tomorrow to tidy up for open house on Sunday...this is so dam hard for me....I grew up there and have so many memories but I need to sell now so if something were to happen to me dh's kids wouldn't just give it away....so hard....I know dh would respect it but if I keep it and rent again and we are both gone I dont hold much hope for either of his kids....need to keep my fingers crossed..and need you ALL to help too...
Off to bed..

[abcowboy]

Hi Loamers (hopefully still Gloamers)

NS - Your post about needing and giving support rings so true! If we give up on one another, it won't be long before we give up on ourselves...just another excuse and AL wins again!

Roxane - it matters not how many threads you post on, what matters is that you post! Seeking and giving support comes in so many ways!

To all the rest unmentioned, if you'll have me, I would enjoy being a regular here, I won't always have great words of wisdom to share, nor will I have all the answers to the problems we face, but I will have open ears, a compassionate heart, strong arms to hug when it is needed most, and a shoulder to cry on if that's what you need. But most importantly, I will have an open mind, to accept everyone for who they are, and the battle they fight! We are in this together! An as so many have said, this is a journey that is impossible to do on your own!

Thursday night, Bubba(my wife) and I travelled 2 hours to attend an AA open birthday meeting for my Uncle, who is a great inspiration to me, and an example to all of us as to what can be accomplished just one day at a time! To be honest, I have been attending my home group's weekly meetings for just about a year, but this was my first meeting outside of my group! It was like the first time I walked up the steps to my very first meeting, scared, nervous, etc. As I sat through the meeting and listened to the people talk, and what my Uncle had to say, more and more I realized how similar we all are, the problems we face! And how the solution seems so simple, yet is the hardest thing I've ever had to do! Learning to step back and let God (my HP) help and guide me through situations that I have no control over, learn to let the anger slide, deal with it in a positive manner, but most of all, accept myself for who and what I am, not using or needing AL to turn me into someone who I think I want to be. Go through life now one day at a time, and by helping others, I really am helping myself! So, thank you all for showing me the better way! I'll try posting a pic of his birthday cake, you may need to click on it to enlarge it so that you can read it....

At my age, I'll never see my 50th sober birthday, but I told my Uncle Ross that I'd die trying!!