Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nar, I always drank when my husband was late too, had to get those last gulps in. I planned my drinking day during his work hours so that I wouldn't be bombed when he got home. Now I do what you are doing, settle in with tea and a show. Feels so much better.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Eloise, is that Allen Carr's book, Easy Way to Stop Drinking? Do you like this book? Did you find it helpful? I am thinking of getting it, let me know!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Humble, crazy the things our husband's make us do! It's not our fault! Lol
Ya, I had my tea and did not go to the bottle. Hopefully it gets easier and easier as we create new habits.
Thanks babe!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well i had the visit with SIL and her friend, who i do like but she has a drinking problem that everyone hides under the carpet. SIL kept looking at me funny to start off with and finally after about an hour and half she asked if i was giving up drinking for good and do i go on the AA site? My daughter was here and said yes mum has a site she goes on. I just told her i dont want to drink anymore and that is my choice and went on about this site and the lovely people i have met on here. She did mention that there really werent that many people that had a drinking problem and i was like "really" want to check this site out I am on. I think she kind of got it, she did say she was proud of me when she left and was this a permanent thing and i said yes it was. Her friend said i looked really good and asked if it was hard. Well guess my reply guys? I asked my daughter if she thought i lectured and she said no, i said all the right things and she was proud of me for handling the situation the way i did. So Yes Pav another story for one and all ha ha.

SL i will come and clean no problems, my SIL even said how clean the house was. Gees i have a lot to be proud of these days.

Bored, well i cant say i get bored. I have a few missions i want to complete with the house and i watch a lot of tv now and i will let you in on a secret.... i play farmville 2 on fb. addicted to that, a grown woman that i am. I just dont think about al anymore, its not a positive thought to have and when i talked about it today it was like a distant relative. There but really not in my life.

Nar, yes i will always stalk you and anyone else including me who thinks about a drink. I would be devastated if any of us poured al down our throats. If one does it we may as well all do it together!.

Well thats about my adventure today, i am sure i will have more stories later on but nap time for me now.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Pav

I read that column in the NYT yesterday and then dinked around on the controlled drinking website mentioned. I wouldn't suggest that anyone do that unless you are fully committed to your sobriety --- You will find reasons to justify having a drink if you are looking for them. All I could see was the need for a heck of a lot of time and effort to do a program that is full of pitfalls with very few benefits. Like you said, what would be the point of a single drink? To me it would be at best an irritant and at worst, my undoing.


It sounds like the weather is acting up everywhere! Stay as comfortable as you can wherever you are and have a great weekend - NS

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava - great report! You should be so proud :l.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, way to go with your SIL. You may have helped her, you never know. Your daughter is so proud of you, how good is that? What a great example you are making for her.

I did not drink tonight. Going to bed early on Friday. Yay!

[Icanwithoutacan]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Nice job Ava!

I would like to chime in and say I am just furious with my husband lately and ask is this normal for early sobriety? I think I drank away my feelings before .... Although he says all I ever had was feelings .... Bc I'm so emotional .... Welcome hypotheses

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ican, same here. Now that I am sober, he is starting to tick me off at times I would just ignore before. It's the little things that are irritating me now. I feel bad about it, but he is annoying me to no end. Is this normal, everyone?

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, all:

Ican and Humble - My husband has been so amazing and supportive of me through this that I feel guilty, but he DOES annoy me. I notice things that I probably just didn't pay attention to before. He definitely annoys me more when he's drinking and I'm not.

I talked to my therapist about this a little, and her advice (or what we came up with together) is a)remember the serenity prayer - think about what I have control over and what you don't, and b) don't make any judgements on my life until I am sober for a much longer time. AL was a big player in our lives and now that it's out of the way there is bound to be some reshuffling of other things in our lives as they settle to fill in the gaps that were left.

For one he was getting annoyed at how much time I spend behind the computer at night. I sat down with him and explained what this site was and what I got out of it and now he is much better. I am a firm believer in honesty and communication (even though with my non-confrontational husband the conversations all are started by me).

Ava - glad it went well with SiL. You sound so strong!

Glad to resisted Nar and SL - I wouldn't want Ava to come get me either! That's one thing I can always count on to keep me sober.

NS - Yes, I was afraid to go to that website. Decided I needed much more time before I feel safe looking at sites like that.

All - happy Saturday tomorrow. Hope you have great sober days.

xo

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Besides not even noticing some irritating behaviors of my husband and others close to me when drinking, I also felt so guilty about my own behavior, I didn't fell justified criticizing or complaining. No matter what they did, I considered what I was doing much worse.

Now I speak up about what bugs me but not much does that anymore. One thing this last year has taught me is to let things that don't really matter go. And most don't. A gift of this fall and recovery has been that I am much more tolerant and less judgmental than I used to be. I also no longer feel like people have to behave in a certain way so everything is what I consider "perfect". It is amazing how good you can feel about other people just as they are when you feel good about yourself. None of us ever will be perfect.

But, yes, the fact that DH never comes to get the (awesomely delicious and perfectly prepared :H) food when I say that dinner is ready pisses me off just about every day!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava,

I just read your entry in your journal thread. You are a strong and amazing woman. Meeting people like you makes me feel so much less ashamed about what I let happen.

It is hard to know I am something that society judges as inferior, weak, flawed, etc. but the more of you I have to opportunity to get to know and realize are funny, happy, strong, emotional, angry, bored, determined, smart, goofy people, the more I believe (not just think in an intellectual sort of way) that I am not just those things - all of us are marvelous but imperfect humans who thankfully now are doing the best we can to be the best we can be.

:l NS

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav and NS, thanks for the words of wisdom about annoying dh's. Which as someone pointed out, could mean something other than 'dear husband' )). I do realize a lot of it is me getting irritated about nothing really, and as he has been very supportive, I need to change my attitude, fast. Pav, love the Horchata song. And I was saying the same over at the nest, that if I can't drink to get drunk, and I can't, then why would I want alcohol in my system? Doesn't make any sense. Like I said over there, it doesn't taste that good; in fact, it's pretty awful.

Ava, Frank used to act like a Rottweiler as well. Now that dh is grooming him, he doesn't have an excuse to go nuts on us. Good luck with the blood test, I haven't had the nerve to do that. Yes, of course, Phil should have married you. What was he possibly thinking of? Boz Scaggs did the same thing to me, and I've never been able to get over it. Your visit with SIL sounded great. You sound like you were so comfortable dealing with the discussion.

Nar, I used to love walking to work in the cold and snow when I lived in PA. I miss that daily bracing walk to and from school. Your exercise plans spur me on to do something besides walk the dogs.

I checked out that method as well. Not for me. I can't moderate and I know it, which doesn't make me weak or inferior. The knowledge just makes me stronger. NS you are right, we are marvelously flawed, yet marvelous nonetheless.

J-vo, FFS! SL, K9, Dottie, L Clem and all, hope you are well.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE Lovely Loamers,

I'd like to comment on the "bored" issue. When people say they drink because they're bored, I see that as one of two things. First of all, bored can really mean what all people get from time to time. They need to find a hobby, something they're passionate about, something to do. If it's that type of boredom, then in the toolbox, there are so many awesome ideas to keep yourself busy. Second, I think we might refer to boredom as this dinner or evening is boring without alcohol. For me, any and all activities that were with alcohol were fun, and anything that didn't include alcohol was boring to me. I had fallen victim to Al that far, in that I didn't know how to have fun without him. Didn't know how to appreciate the presence of things, places, people without Alcohol. The thing is, I never did appreciate those I was with, what we did because all I ever appreciated and cared about was alcohol. And although it's all new, and each situation I can really learn to appreciate my environment and the people in it, it still feels strange to me. I've been doing the other "thing" for so long. My mind believed that Al made everything right. Now, I can see clearly, and really soak in all the aspects of the sober life. And it's a real eye-opener for me. Especially now that i can see with both eyes open, literally! So, not having that buzz during a dinner out with friends may be different now. And strange. But if I'm real with myself, that buzz ultimately turned into being completely sloshed. I don't want that anymore. Nope. I need to see and appreciate all the things God has given me in this life, now. And I'm so grateful that I can. And super blessed to be doing it with you chicks!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I've never known a Boz Scaggs fan other than my husband and me, HR! I think I listened to nothing but Silk Degrees after my freshman year of college (maybe a bit of Hall and Oates ). He toured last year as part of The Dukes of September - my one and only chance I've had to see him live :h:h:h.