Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Pavati]

Jane, far better your ass is here instead of keeping a barstool warm! And Ava and Pav's birthdays are top secret, I know them, but if I told you, then I'd have to kill you! :hahaha: But if you really want to know..... I do enjoy fresh out of the oven cinnamon buns....

Funny you should mention cinnamon buns - I was just thinking about what I would do to celebrate my year sober (still more than a month away - believe me, you'll know). There is a GREAT bakery near me that makes the best cinnamon rolls in the world - slightly crispy if that makes sense, not too sweet, buttery - delicious. I quit eating wheat a while back (mostly for weight reasons - knocks off huge categories of food), and I haven't had one of those cinnamon rolls in a while. I had put that on my mental list. The fates dictate that it is so.

WHOOT, Narilly! So happy to celebrate your 200 days. You're amazing, uplifting, funny and strong. Sorry about your son - these kids are tough - especially when we know what we've been through.

Very cool that you're meeting Rahul, Jane. Have a great time. I DO hope you come back to us, too. Good luck on your mammogram. Here are some treats for you -
mammogram.jpg

I'm off to bed. Very excited to have nothing planned this weekend - it is supposed to rain here, so I don't have to attend the usual neighborhood trick or treating party! My kids are old enough that they want to go alone... Sad and happy at the same time.

Good night. More this weekend!

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Mmmmm,look at those chocolates.yum!

Tired so will talk later.

Xo from sober me

[daisy45]

Popping in to say a quick hello....will get reading back and reconnecting soon....going to get myself together in Newbies. Have a lovely day all!

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

The gloamers are quiet this weekend. Hope everyone is ok, and out and enjoying the sober autumn.

Welcome back Daisy - settle in close, post away - we're here for you!

I wrote a bit about this in the nest, but I am getting into the teenager drinking and going out phase. So far he has "had three sips" at a party, and still seems in that phase where he has to tell me everything, so I got to hear about the weed and alcohol at his party. It makes me sad that teenagers think that booze is necessary for fun. He seems ok to not drink for now, but he basically told me that he will soon. My biggest message is about prescription pills - there is an epidemic of abuse, and that leads to addiction much quicker than alcohol. He told me he has no interest in that, or in weed, but then he stopped, leaving me to believe that he has interest in drinking. So I'm trying to balance parenting and setting limits, and being too permissive. I don't have any problem being firm, but too firm and I could drive him away from the honest talks we have. The HUGE upside in all this is that I am SOBER and can deal with all of this SOBER! I picked him up from the party on Halloween (I would have had to have DH do that a year ago), and could carry on this conversation when he was ready to have it.

I hope you are all ok. Much love to my gloamers.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Hello Gloamers.

That's a tough one J-Vo, my son always said he would not drink or smoke pot. He does both now and he is 18. Actually I don't think he has smoked pot since summer but he drinks and sometimes a lot, I am pretty certain he will have a problem with it honestly. I talk to him about it and so does my hubby. Hopefully he will figure it out and do what he has to do so it doesn't effect his success in life. AND he stays safe, that is a big one.

Pretty scary about prescription abuse. I am sure it goes on here too.

No hangover here today. Yay!!
Xo

[NoSugar]

Hey, Gloamers, what have y'all been up to?

I spent yesterday being Bitch of the Universe for no apparent reason. Hung out on the verge of tears all day, avoided people, was cool and aloof to my husband, and really, just reveled in my misery. Have no idea why but sure was happy to wake up feeling normal today. Even in the midst of it, I was aware of how much worse the day would have been a couple years ago when I would have tried to drown how I was feeling and with it being Saturday, could have figured out how to start that business pretty early. So then I would have ruined both days of my weekend because I would have awakened on Sunday feeling awful and spent the day recovering. I always find this day challenging anyway - I know I'll get kind of down later today when it is dusk at only 5 p.m.

So, Jane, how was your meeting with Rahul? Kind of amazing that the opportunity came up to connect with someone who is normally so, so far away! I had the chance to Skype with an MWO buddy the other day, which was great, but to meet in person would be even better. I hope you do decide to reconnect here. It's not like I have tons of experience but I have noticed people with a pretty good amount of AF time drift away, post sporadically, say they're coming back but then never really do until they return to start over again. I imagine/hope some of them left to life happy AF lives but if you're having any doubts, which it sounds like you may be, I really encourage you to think about how you have gotten as far as you have and whether what you're doing now is enough to sustain it. You're almost to 300 days - way to much to squander, I think.

It's great to see you back on MWO, Daisy. You mentioned in the NN that the effects of drinking have been pretty scary a couple of times. I hope you can really listen to what your body is trying to tell you - don't let the choice to stop drinking be taken away from you because you're lying in a hospital bed or worse. Free choice is one of the most important things we have. Like Pav's avatar says, you already have the power, even if it doesn't feel that way sometimes.

Pav, keeping those lines of communication open is the best thing you can do. One thing you might want to try to impress on him is that no matter what, he can always call you for a ride home from any situation he finds himself in. Assure him that he won't be grounded or the car taken away (or whatever punishment would be used) if he makes the right choice to safely leave. Promise (and mean it) that even if he is drunk, calling you is the right thing to do and he won't be in tons of trouble or anything like that. Of course there will be a conversation the next day but after finding himself in a situation that was more than he could handle, he'll probably be ready to have it.

One other thing I did was encourage my kids to use me as the scapegoat if that enabled them to dodge an uncomfortable situation --- " I can't go there because my totally clueless, overprotective mom will... --- whatever they wanted to say was fine with me. And if they were worried about going somewhere or doing something, odds are pretty good I wouldn't have wanted them doing it either!

When I was growing up my dad said one time that if I ever decided to take drugs to let him know because he respected my opinion and if I had decided it was a good thing to do, he would want to try it, too. Talk about a clever deterrent!! I wasn't interested in drugs (or alcohol then), anyway, but I must say his words came back to me every time the opportunity arose. I wish I had kept that deal when much later in adulthood I decided that drinking wine was a good thing to do. I'm pretty sure things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.

Hope it's been a good weekend for all, NS

xpost Narilly: I was so long-winded, you posted while I was typing. Glad to hear you sober and happy about it :hug:!

[Ginger999]

Has anyone talked to Wagmore? I haven't seen her around. Just wondering....

[daisy45]

Thanks for the welcome back! It has been very quiet here over the weekend......
For me, a good day as I got through Halloween and a weekend!

[Pavati]

Wowzers - so much quiet here on the Gloamer thread. NS was the waffler??

Jane, I want to hear about Rahul, too.

LB - Where are you?

I've seen some of you in the Nest - maybe we're all returning home?

My thought for today - I am so happy to be sober and have more energy than I used to. My allergies have stunk, I wake up with headaches, my joints creak, my feet hurt, and yet I haven't felt better in a while.

I am bracing for the "holidays," not my favorite time of year. I am looking forward to a sober Thanksgiving (for once), and then we are going out of town for Christmas break. I am excited to be getting away from the expectations of having both of our families in the area - we just get to hang out with the four of us.

Hope you all come back and check in soon!

xo
Pav

[abcowboy]

Hi to all the GLoamers out there! I agree with Pav, very quiet across the boards, hopefully that is a good thing. I think it's like me, things are going pretty good, life is feeling better as I get through each day. Not much to say, but here everyday to post and read. That's when I need to really watch, when things seem to be going too good! When I'm not going through the struggles that others are having, then it's my turn to offer support in any way I can. Reading on the NN sometimes makes me sad, I read the struggles and want to reach out, grab them by the hand, and say, just follow me, the road is long, it has it's curves, it's not always smooth sailing! There will be mountains and bridges to cross, traffic jams to sit through, and any journey doesn't seem as long if you have someone to share it with!

That's what we are all doing here, sharing our journey, showing others the easier roads to take, how to avoid the detours and stay on a steady course! Have a great day my friends, remember, stay out of the ditches eh!

[NoSugar]

Wowzers - so much quiet here on the Gloamer thread. NS was the waffler??

Hi to all the GLoamers out there! I agree with Pav, very quiet across the boards, hopefully that is a good thing. I think it's like me, things are going pretty good, life is feeling better as I get through each day. Not much to say, but here everyday to post and read....That's what we are all doing here, sharing our journey, showing others the easier roads to take, how to avoid the detours and stay on a steady course! Have a great day my friends, remember, stay out of the ditches eh!

You know there's something up when I'm the waffler, Pav :wink:! I'm just not usually very chatty, I guess, so who knows up was up with that long post about this, that, and the other thing.

Regarding the (lack of) activity on this thread, I think that most of us who have been posting fairly regularly are pretty committed to our "mission" and like ABCowboy says, we don't have all that much to say and don't need the day-to-day (minute-to-minute!) support anymore.

Others such as J-vo and Daisy are in the best place they can be - the warm, supportive, and active Newbies Nest.

Some formerly active posters hopefully are off living happy AF lives - Wags, Giraffe, LifeChange, and HumbleRider come to mind. Others, like SL, Roxane, El, and DB (and some of the lovely dropper-inners) are active on MWO but post more regularly elsewhere (where we can see that they are doing just fine :smile.

I looked at the list of people who have posted on this thread fairly regularly in the past and wonder how some of them are doing:

Pat
Star
Kailey
Acadia
MaryLou
RiverGal
Running4Life

Have any of you been in touch with any of them? Or perhaps I've missed their posts. I hope they also are just fine and have found support from someplace other than MWO.

You also wrote this, Pav:

I've seen some of you in the Nest - maybe we're all returning home?

I've been in the NN more often lately, perhaps partly because of how quiet it is here. For me, the benefits of MWO come from staying relatively on-topic. I'm not glad there are people in the NN who are struggling but those truly are the people who help me and to whom I hope I can offer some assistance or hope. Seeing what they are going through is the daily reminder of what I never want to go back to. (If any of you haven't been in the NN lately, I'd recommend reading Resolve's posts of the last couple days - they are beautiful and heart-breaking reminders or, if you're struggling - motivators). Also, typing my thoughts on the topic for others to read helps me integrate in a way (sort of like you do in yoga with certain poses) - kind of align my emotions and limbic brain with my rational brain that set forth my arguments about why not drinking is a dang good idea. I think that is what I need to stay out of that ditch ABC referred to. Maybe some new people will join this thread or some of our absent friends will return and our mission will be re-invigorated. In any case, we all need to do whatever is necessary to stay on it! I don't know that we'll ever get to say "Mission Accomplished" but "Mission in Progress" will do. xx, NS

[scottish lass]

Hi - I am here and alive & well! I do stop in to read, and I am sorry that I don't post more often as this is a great group. The thread used to move way too fast for me to keep up with it, but maybe if it is slowing a bit I can keep up with everyone.
I am doing pretty good - had a really tough couple weeks, but coming through it. Managed not to drink, and even the pulls were not in earnest - more a desire to make everything go away and be able to hide.
I have also managed to run a 5K - who would have guessed! Definately not me, and my mother was sure I would not do it! My knees held up Pav, just can't do gym routinues it appears. As it helped to get me going on weight loss and remove some stubborn lb's that were sticking around, I have to work out how to keep it up now my 8 week training course is done.
Good to see you checking in Daisy. Hi to NS, Pav, ABcowboy and Narilly - and to everyone else! (I said hi today to Ginger on one of our other haunts, so not ignoring her :happy2

[little beagle]

I'm here. We are having a bit of an issue. My PaPa (FIL) is very ill. Years of al abuse and just plain unhealthy living will eventually catch up with you.

[Pavati]

Hi,

Excellent analysis as usual, NoSugar.

SL - Great to see you here. No guilt about checking in, just glad it is all ok. Amazing that you ran a 5K. I actually tried to run a bit this weekend - got about 2 miles running. I thought I was in shape from hiking, but apparently there are some different muscle groups in play. I'll have to see how my knee holds up. Hope you find a way to keep up the workout.

LB - Sorry about your PaPa.

I have to recommend a podcast - Serial - to anyone looking for diversion. It is so captivating that I listen while exercising and I forget what I am doing. Start with episode 1 and see if you can stop...

Night all.

xo
Pav

[jane27]

Hi Gloamers,

NS, your post was a real treat. Really enjoy hearing you think & express things.

Rahul and I did not end up connecting unfortunately. My mammogram appointment ended up taking 4 hours and it screwed up our plans to meet. Everything with the mammo is ok thankfully. I have been super busy and productive. Getting the mold treated and the ducts cleaned seems to have had a positive effect on the health issues. The fever of unknown origin issue has improved greatly....temp is lower and Im reaching for the thermometer less. The biggest casualty now is a mild obsession with the basement, and I've got my eye on the fact that I'm in push mode. Pushing to get things done like there is a deadline hanging over my head. I know it's partially financial anxiety.

I need you guys to stay sober. It's tatooed on my psyche, and NS I appreciate your reminding me the importance of staying connected. I cringe at the mere thought of going back to the way things were.

I have been weathering some wistful drinking cravings. They scare me and I believe it has to be connected with posting less frequently. I agree with the fact that I've come way too far to throw it all away.

Lil, I'm thinking of you and your family. I'm so glad Mr B has joined our posse.

Very glad to be sober. Love to all