Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Guitarista]

Hey Loamers near and not so far,

Geez Ava, sounds a tough time for you, your family and friend at the moment, and waiting for medical results is stressful in itself. Glad you can at least vent a bit here. My thoughts are wth you my friend.

My thoughts are with you and your family too LB. Take care of yourselves.

Crikey Jane! I love the big machinery and red trucks, but i also know they come at a price. Glad to see you're getting the mould sorted.

Yo Pavi, i think you will see/feel a relapse coming well before it does. Even though any final decision to drink maybe a snap/fast one, in my case after 2.5 years sober in april 2011, i recall it brewing months beforehand. Why? How? Well, for me it was because i stopped growing in the area(s) of my life that made me most truly happy (making music). I didn't follow my real path, which i'd identified years ago. I was also taking on too much in a great new job, but my work/life balance was way out of whack. i.e. too much working for others, and not making time for myself and my pursuits. I suppose i was fortunate in knowing my path through life at an early age, as wide and broad as that path is. These days, i know a little better and have constructed as many bill paying activities as i can to fit and suit me and to tie in with my life purpose and personal mission statement. Now i'm starting to waffle.....

Take care all. G

[little beagle]

I like waffles.
I am going with hubby tomorrow. We decided that it was best. I know I would be angry and resentful if I didn't.
Jane, wow. That was something else. Cool equipment.

[Pavati]

Hi,

Jane - holy s*(t that is more terrifying to me than the mice in Daisy's cupboard. I wonder what my ducts are like... We live on the North side of a hill, so our apt. doesn't get a lot of sun and can seem cold and damp.

Daisy - On your iPad, go to the App Store and download the free podcast app (purple). Then through the app, search for "The Bubble Hour," "Serial," or whatever you want. You can do the same on a smart phone and it is more portable. You can stream or download the podcasts - I download them so I can take them anywhere.

NS - Sorry you're down - you don't often mention that, so it does seem like a big deal. I BELIEVE that you would stalk me if I was straying - I believe all of you gloamers would.

G - Thanks for the advice. I have to remember to remain vigilant in looking for signs of relapse, and I DO hope you all call me on it. I appreciate hearing your experience.

Ava - Sorry about your mom - you are certainly going through a lot in your life right now. Thank goodness you are so secure in your sobriety, and thank goodness your mom and Robert have you there - all there - for them.

LB - You, too. As always, you are such a great support for your family.

I had a dream two nights ago - a double whammy. A wedding (still something I have yet to do sober), in a whisky bar (yes, a former pleasure of mine). I actually was NOT drinking, but managing it all was tough. I felt in deprivation mode. I guess it was a good reminder to me to keep focusing on gratitude.

Off to bed. SHIT - So Happy It's Thursday.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Goodnight beveryone, I will read back tomorrow.

Xo

[jane27]

Ava, Just read what you posted about your Mom. Life is so weird. Right when it seems like we're getting our lives sorted out , the shit hits the fan. Maybe that's why God pushed us to get our shit together in the first place. I don't know. You'd think we'd be rewarded by smooth sailing at a minimum...but it doesn't seem to work that way. All my love to you.

Gnight Gloamers. X

[abcowboy]

MAE GLoamers! Just a quick check in, all is well in my corner of the world! It's Friday, but I know I'm going to have a great weekend because it's going to be AF!

I'm not sure if this is the time or place but...

You_Rock_Emoticon.gifCongrats on 10 months Jane!!You_Rock_Emoticon.gif

Let's all enjoy our day and weekend my friends, be productive, helpful, grateful, and above all, AF!!

[little beagle]

I'm just going to do a quick check in. We are here at PaPa's house. He is coming home from the hospital tomorrow. He has decided to do home hospice. He has late stage liver cancer. Most likely from drinking. We are all very sad. But I am so glad to not be drinking.
We don't have a lot of internet here.

[Pavati]

Hugs to you, LB.

I am feeling a tad lonely tonight. Don't really know why. I feel like I should have a close friend in my town, but I don't. My close friends all live in surrounding towns, and have lives that revolve around their kids in those towns (as I do here), so I don't have that "drop over for a chat" type of friend that I can call on a Sat. night.

I'm going to get in bed and read and try to get some sleep.

Hope all is well.
Pav

[narilly]

Pav, I wish I could drop over. At least you can snuggle up to a good book.

I am in bed now and it is after midnight so I am going to sleep.

Goodnight.
Xo

[Pavati]

Hi, All. Just posted this on the 100 day thread - thought I'd share here as well...
__________________________

I slept 9.5 hours last night, so I guess I had the L. and the T.

NoSugar - I think you're right. The holiday season always brings out anxiety for me - I am pulled to do so many "obligations" and there is so much family "tradition" that I get tense and resentful. I am heading into practically a week long celebration of a family member's big birthday, and then straight into Thanksgiving.

It has been a tradition in my life to get "overserved" :egad: on Thanksgiving, so I have zero apprehension about going through one sober - I am looking forward to it. But this time of year is conjuring memories of last year at this time which was not good for me. I need to focus on all that is so much better in my life and not dwell on the past. Yesterday I saw a picture I took on my last drinking day, and my reaction was actually physical - my heart started beating faster. I don't want to throw it away - it seems a good reminder of where I don't want to be.

Anyway - we made plans for my family of four to be away (like out of the country) for Christmas, so we won't have to do all the things here. I am very excited for that trip, and will focus on looking forward to that.

Thanks so much for your support and for being here for me!

xo
Pav

[little beagle]

Holiday time is a bit stressful Pav. Hope you are feeling better today.

[narilly]

That's a good reminder Pav. Seeing pictures of me drunk always kinda turn my stomach.

I have the day off today and tomorrow., yay!!

Have a great sober Monday.

[NoSugar]

The Christmas holiday season usually isn't stressful for me but this year it is going to be and there's no way to prevent or fix the situation. This will probably be a good test of the commitment I made almost 2 years ago.

[peppersnow]

Pav, good for you for getting away for the holidays! I wish my four-some could do the same. I'm excited for you - what a wonderful vacation memory that will be for you sober. I also worry about relapse blindsiding me when I hear stories about long-timers falling, but I figure we're directing and starring in our own movies. And if we don't like the direction it's heading, we alone have the power to edit the screenplay and change up the other actors, the scenery, and how we play our own starring role.

NS - sorry about your pending holiday stress. Maybe it's good that you can plan ahead for it, though. Are there any alterations in your plans that you can make? The irony is that holidays are supposed to be the "most...most...wonderful time of the year," according to Bing. It's unfair that for so many women (and I'm sure men) the season is something we dread, due to the responsibility of making it wonderful for everyone else except ourselves.

Byrd - seriously? You're bringing the whole entire meal, it sounds like! Doesn't anyone else know how to cook a turkey? I'll be thinking of you on T-day.

I had to go get labs done today - and as I was signing in I felt a bit giddy, just in comparison to my past feelings of dread every time I had to see my dr. or get labs done. I was always waiting for bad news, afraid my al consumption would show up, or just thinking, "Why the hell am I wasting my time" because I knew I was killing myself anyway. Having routine labs done now (assuming there's no other concern) is kind of exciting. Which is something a normal person would think is weird or wouldn't understand, but I'm sure you all do.

About photos -- I totally relate to you all who hate seeing old pictures. Seeing any pictures of myself at all prior to my quit date makes me feel like there are rocks in my stomach, because I know that in every one of them I had Al in my system. All the vacation pictures, school concerts, b-days, shoveling snow, cooking, at work - there's not a single picture that represents me sober and I hate all of them. Now I kind of like having my picture taken. Which is something else that only all of you could understand.

Take care, all, and for those of us in the U.S., keep warm during the Arctic Blast -- I heard a weather person call it a "Bombogenesis". I have no idea how that compares to a "Polar Vortex"! Either way, winter is here and I'm not ready!

[NoSugar]

I also worry about relapse blindsiding me when I hear stories about long-timers falling, but I figure we're directing and starring in our own movies. And if we don't like the direction it's heading, we alone have the power to edit the screenplay and change up the other actors, the scenery, and how we play our own starring role.

What a great way to express this, Pepper! I guess that's why I'm alert but not afraid. I'm once again the Director!