Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[abcowboy]

You_Rock_Emoticon.gif Congrats on 8 months peppersnow! You_Rock_Emoticon.gif

[scottish lass]

Congrats Pepper!
Pav, I really think about the what now, way too much. I also have thoughts about just at weddings - I haven't gone to a wedding in years so not sure why that one lurks around:love: NS - I do feel I need to get stronger in the AL is poison, I do still continue with the romanticizing of the dang stuff - I do have bad associations with drink, but I also have good ones and those keep popping up in my memory...
AVA - checking that you ensure self care as you help Robert - sounds like tough days ahead, well you know that you can only help him if you ensure you help yourself..

[NoSugar]

I do feel I need to get stronger in the AL is poison, I do still continue with the romanticizing of the dang stuff - I do have bad associations with drink, but I also have good ones and those keep popping up in my memory...

Hey, SL, what is it about those good memories that wouldn't have been possible if you hadn't been drinking? (I'm not saying that drinking might not have made some of them easier --- but I suspect they still could have happened, just like they can happen now). I think a drink or 2 (but not more!!) made me a little friskier and less inhibited but a person can just decide to loosen up, too (and remember everything that happens... I hated trying to figure out exactly what went on the next morning, wondering if I should be a little cocky or embarrassed...). Nights out drinking with my girlfriends were more fun when I participated b/c it wasn't so obvious to me how the conversations degenerate over the course of the evening. I still can enjoy those events now, but in a different way. It takes more effort on my part, and more patience, but the relationships are worth it. And in the morning when I wake up feeling fine (not having consumed more after I got home!), whatever effort I had to put forth the night before is just fine! The other night we went out to a restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol and probably laughed harder (for no logical reason - just because...:smile than we have in years. It's the people that matter. Some things are different without alcohol but in almost all ways, so much better.

There's no way to romanticize these:

Here are 12 conditions linked to chronic heavy drinking.
Anemia
Heavy drinking can cause the number of oxygen-carrying red blood cells to be abnormally low. This condition, known as anemia, can trigger a host of symptoms, including fatigue, shortness of breath, and lightheadedness.
Cancer
"Habitual drinking increases the risk of cancer," says Jurgen Rehm, PhD, chairman of the University of Toronto's department of addiction policy and a senior scientist at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, also in Toronto. Scientists believe the increased risk comes when the body converts alcohol into acetaldehyde, a potent carcinogen. Cancer sites linked to alcohol use include the mouth, pharynx (throat), larynx (voice box), esophagus, liver, breast, and colorectal region. Cancer risk rises even higher in heavy drinkers who also use tobacco.
Cardiovascular disease
Heavy drinking, especially bingeing, makes platelets more likely to clump together into blood clots, which can lead to heart attack or stroke. In a landmark study published in 2005, Harvard researchers found that binge drinking doubled the risk of death among people who initially survived a heart attack.
Heavy drinking can also cause cardiomyopathy, a potentially deadly condition in which the heart muscle weakens and eventually fails, as well as heart rhythm abnormalities such as atrial and ventricular fibrillation. Atrial fibrillation, in which the heart's upper chambers (atria) twitch chaotically rather than constrict rhythmically, can cause blood clots that can trigger a stroke. Ventricular fibrillation causes chaotic twitching in the heart's main pumping chambers (ventricles). It causes rapid loss of consciousness and, in the absence of immediate treatment, sudden death.
Cirrhosis
Alcohol is toxic to liver cells, and many heavy drinkers develop cirrhosis, a sometimes-lethal condition in which the liver is so heavily scarred that it is unable to function. But it's hard to predict which drinkers will develop cirrhosis. "Some people who drink huge amounts never get cirrhosis, and some who don't drink very much do get it," Saitz says. For some unknown reason, women seem to be especially vulnerable.
Dementia
As people age, their brains shrink, on average, at a rate of about 1.9% per decade. That's considered normal. But heavy drinking speeds the shrinkage of certain key regions in the brain, resulting in memory loss and other symptoms of dementia.
Heavy drinking can also lead to subtle but potentially debilitating deficits in the ability to plan, make judgments, solve problems, and perform other aspects of "executive function," which are "the higher-order abilities that allow us to maximize our function as human beings," Garbutt says.In addition to the "nonspecific" dementia that stems from brain atrophy, heavy drinking can cause nutritional deficiencies so severe that they trigger other forms of dementia.
Depression
It's long been known that heavy drinking often goes hand in hand with depression, but there has been debate about which came first -- the drinking or the depression. One theory is that depressed people turned to alcohol in an attempt to "self-medicate" to ease their emotional pain. But a large study from New Zealand showed that it was probably the other way around -- that is, heavy drinking led to depression.
Research has also shown that depression improves when heavy drinkers go on the wagon, Saitz says.
Seizures
Heavy drinking can cause epilepsy and can trigger seizures even in people who don't have epilepsy. It can also interfere with the action of the medications used to treat convulsions.
Gout
A painful condition, gout is caused by the formation of uric acid crystals in the joints. Although some cases are largely hereditary, alcohol and other dietary factors seem to play a role. Alcohol also seems to aggravate existing cases of gout.
High blood pressure
Alcohol can disrupt the sympathetic nervous system, which, amongother things, controls the constriction and dilation of blood vessels inresponse to stress, temperature, exertion, etc. Heavy drinking -- andbingeing, in particular -- can cause blood pressure to rise. Over time, thiseffect can become chronic. High blood pressure can lead to many otherhealth problems, including kidney disease, heart disease, and stroke.
Infectious disease
Heavy drinking suppresses the immune system, providing a toehold forinfections, including tuberculosis, pneumonia, HIV/AIDS, and othersexually transmitted diseases (including some that cause infertility).People who drink heavily also are more likely to engage in risky sex."Heavy drinking is associated with a three-fold increase in the risk ofcontracting a sexually transmitted disease," Rehmn says.
Nerve damage
Heavy drinking can cause a form of nerve damage known as alcoholicneuropathy, which can produce a painful pins-and-needles feeling ornumbness in the extremities as well as muscle weakness, incontinence,constipation, erectile dysfunction, and other problems. Alcoholicneuropathy may arise because alcohol is toxic to nerve cells, or becausenutritional deficiencies attributable to heavy drinking compromisenerve function.
Pancreatitis
In addition to causing stomach irritation (gastritis), drinking can inflamethe pancreas. Chronic pancreatitis interferes with the digestive process,causing severe abdominal pain and persistent diarrhea --and "it's notfixable," Saitz says. Some cases of chronic pancreatitis are triggered bygallstones, but up to 60% stem from alcohol consumption.

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/a...heavy-drinking

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[scottish lass]

Yes, I get that NS - but I actually love the taste of wine, I really enjoyed wine tasting and learning/discovering. I live right by Napa and in wine country and really enjoy all that that brings. I have not found a drink that has that sort of enjoyment for me. If I could just have a glass every now and then, I would be very happy. I also came from whisky country and grew up with the Scottish whisky industry, and loved a wee dram. These things I miss as I do not drink - and the good memories from those occasions would not be the same at all. If I could drink rarely I would be very content - however, I cannot and I get that too, so have decided to abstain. I have made a choice, but for me, there is some loss that is not replaceable. I am content with this path, but I do grieve a little and just acknowledge that there is a bit of "poor me"...

[Guitarista]

Yes, I get that NS - but I actually love the taste of wine, I really enjoyed wine tasting and learning/discovering. I live right by Napa and in wine country and really enjoy all that that brings. I have not found a drink that has that sort of enjoyment for me. If I could just have a glass every now and then, I would be very happy. I also came from whisky country and grew up with the Scottish whisky industry, and loved a wee dram. These things I miss as I do not drink - and the good memories from those occasions would not be the same at all. If I could drink rarely I would be very content - however, I cannot and I get that too, so have decided to abstain. I have made a choice, but for me, there is some loss that is not replaceable. I am content with this path, but I do grieve a little and just acknowledge that there is a bit of "poor me"...

Yo Gloamers!

SL, I think it's a positive thing that you express openly to yourself your past and current relationship/feelings around AL. It's a classic for many of us to believe we are missing out on a treat when we stop boozing. For me, well......i love drinking and the feeling it gives me in the first hour or so. No doubt, it feels great. However, then comes the "bill"....the "cheque/check" that must be paid. The ferryman is always there, waiting for payment, and my payment is a session that began nicely enough, that soon enough went downhill into a depressing spiral of sadness and regret, that i carried with me for the whole of the next day, and often for days later. Soon enough i have gone from a well intentioned 'social' glass or 3, to searching desperately later that evening for an after hours grog shop to get booze to take home and finish the job. The only quick fix tomorrow for the depression being another drink, and so re-starting the vicious damaging cycle of self abuse.

I can continue to stick to this cycle, and drink more not less as the years pass, or i can choose to live happy and healthy, and learn my newest life saving lesson. The lesson being......'G man, if you decide to keep booze in your life and try to regulate it, you know it doesn't work. Why? Because for some reason, a part of you loves to get numb and turn your back on all responsibility and society. In fact Gman, part of you loves this idea so much, you are willing to make it a 24/7 lifestyle. So Gman, what do you want to do? Which path do you want to take?"

For me, this is my choice. I know my boozing ways, and i now have undeniable evidence of my negative, self destructive relationship with AL. And that's ok. It's a relief to at least understand a little of what's going on with me and AL. I know enough to understand that when i drink my quality of life plummets, and my dreams are on hold and begin to die.

So what do i want for my life? I just have to learn how to remember every day to be grateful, gracious, and proud of my decision to re-invent myself and live to my full potential. Boozing is a big fat lie and myth for us folk. We are different to normal drinkers. We know it, and science knows it and backs this up. We don't need booze to have fun, or to enhance any experience. Sure, It will enhance some experiences for a short time, maybe 1 hour max, but then we are back on the road to destroying that moment, experience, relationship, as we without a shadow of a doubt, keep on drinking to excess, causing massive damage that we may not return from.

A small sacrifice for all the magic and treasure this world has waiting for us. Just wipe away a bit of the surface dust and dirt and you'll see your name clearly on your precious buried treasure.

No poison or myths for this fella today.

Have a bewdy y'all. Take it easy. G

[NoSugar]

Mr. G., I've tried to figure out which part of your post to quote but each part reinforces the rest - you absolutely captured what I think so many of us have experienced. I hope you'll consider putting that in the toolbox for the benefit of current and future MWOers.

You described my situation well before I quit drinking for good. There was a period of time when I did get a good hour or so out of the whole business each evening before things fell apart later that night. By the end, though, there wasn't a day, an hour, or a minute when drinking made me feel better - it only made me feel less awful. The internal battle, the desperation, and the need that I felt in the back of my throat and chest as I waited for it to be "late enough" to gulp my first drink was a far cry from the fancy meal enhanced by a carefully chosen glass of wine or the celebratory toast at a wedding. It was more like being offered water after hours and hours of dehydration. If felt necessary to live.

I imagine that when I first started to drink it must have been pleasant because I continued to do it but frankly, I don't remember the role of alcohol in those days well at all. I don't think I really thought about it much one way or another until after the addiction had begun and I realized that a pattern had developed. I do remember that good hour, though, and I'm sorry, SL, if I was dismissive about your feelings. I guess it was such a small percentage of the total time that drinking wrecked my life, it's pretty easy for me to set aside. I'd encourage you to try to do that, too, because until you do, I'm afraid the door has been left open for "just one". xx, NS

[Byrdlady]

Interesting topic!
Whenever I find myself romancing the STONE, I bitch-slap myself and force myself to remember how it REALLY was.....I was drinking in desperate gulps from a hidden bottle in my closet.... or sneaking it from a hairspray bottle in my purse in the stall of the lady's room. There was nothing romantic about the way I drank. You are so right NS, if you leave that door cracked at all, AL will muscle its way back in and rob you of everything you accomplished . Once a pickle, never a cucumber. B.

[Samstone]

Byrdy

"Once a pickle, never a cucumber. B." love it!!

[scottish lass]

NS - did not feel you were being dismissive. I also did not mean to be controversial.
This is just how I feel, nothing more, nothing less.
When I did drink responsibly, I really enjoyed it and there were many times that occurred. When I over did it, and that also happened many times I was very aware of the potential for problems that I was opening myself to. It worked out that I could not control my drinking, therefore it had to stop - but, yes I do wish it was different - and yes, I realize that I do have a door cracked, which is why I still struggle - and why I still sign in here daily.
Sorry if this discussion ruffled feathers - not my intention - I appreciate being able to discuss my feelings.....

[Guitarista]

Yep SL, it sure is a hard one when the door is still a little open. This is me too. I do know that for me, the more AF time under my belt, the less i think about or romanticise booze. My thinking is that i need to continue to get it into my head that whilst drinking was fun on occassion, the last few years it was not. It was hell and very worrying to me what was behind (for me) the self abuse. I know i will gain more control over my thinking and impulses the more i focus on my dreams and live them daily.

Getting to a place of peace and greater wisdom/clarity within myself is my priority, so i'm stronger and better able to defend myself and take care of myself. This is all easy to say, but i really want to have a crack and see what i can do before i cark it. lol.

[Byrdlady]

SL, I think it is great to know what others do when those thoughts pop up! Its important to talk about it! Its a great topic and I am glad it came up! My techniques work for me, but others play it thru and that works better for them.
Thank you for putting it out there for diacussion! B

[scottish lass]

So true G

This is all easy to say, but i really want to have a crack and see what i can do before i cark it. lol.

- enjoying what I have achieved so far, wonder what else we can all get up to - read today that 58 was the age a survey found people were most content with their lives - take these words with a lot of tongue in cheek, but this one feels that it could be a good one for me....my life is definitely on an upswing

[Guitarista]

Great stuff SL. I really feel and believe my life is just beginning. Chapter 2 for another 30 years at least. :llama:

[Pavati]

Thanks for this discussion, y'all.

Interesting, SL, that idea of the door being open. I didn't think it was for me - the queen of "taking it off the table," but when I had that rambling thought of "maybe when the kids are gone" it was proven to me that the door is still there, and most definitely someone (AL, m'fer) is trying to push it open. So far I am able to close it with relative ease, which is why I posted here right away - I want to keep that ability by exercising it with regularity!

I, too, have great memories of alcohol, and I don't think they are lies. I think that there are situations that were made better with alcohol - or at least made different. But part of that was the habit I had developed. I realize that small talk at a party was much easier with alcohol, as was de-stressing after work (how QUICK a cocktail works for that). However, each time I do those things without alcohol, I do realize that I can and have learned how to do them without alcohol - I find new ways of doing them. Each time it gets easier and easier. I think that if I could drink from time to time - a nice whisky after a meal, a beer on a boat - that I would.

But I do know that is in the cards for me. I still get sad from time to time about that, but mostly I am absolutely OK with it. I had a meeting with a boy with diabetes and his mother. He said the same thing - I'm fine with it, it is all good, but every once in a while I think - really? again? I have to test my blood. I reckon that will happen forever, but less and less. And I know that is why being part of this group is so important to me.

Ava- My thoughts are with you and Robert tonight. I hope the surgery is going well, and I am glad you could be there for him. xoxoxoxo

Pav

[narilly]

Interesting discussion everyone.
Isn't that why we are here? AL is like gambling, those great memories keep us coming back. Its like winning $2 at the slots and then losing $20. Just keep putting the money in because the $2 was so exciting.
I have some great memories with AL and so many more terrible ones. The great ones kept making me reach for that glass.

Its Monday and this girl does NOT have a hangover. Very happy about that.

Voldemort...lol, that was good.
SL, thanks for bringing that up.

Talk to you soon.