Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[scottish lass]

Quick check in - Hi dear Gloamers, and so happy for where I am this year! Thankful for MWO and the relationships I have made here, the support I have received to be 280 days AF. and pretty much a whole year free...

[Pavati]

Hi,

Today I am worried about my kid.

My younger son has impulse control issues, as well as a lower self-esteem, and a false bravado that barely hides a very sensitive core. I know that when he first tastes alcohol, he is going to love it. He will love the release and escape it gives him, as well as the confidence. He already shows a keen interest in alcohol. He is 12, so there is time yet - I help him exercise, cook with him, he has tried meditation. He already escapes with food. He is a compulsive eater and no matter how healthy I cook for him, when we're not looking or not with him, he makes terrible choices about what and how much he puts into his body. I know that part of it is being a 12-year-old, but I know many 12-year-olds who are not as impulsive.

OK, thanks for listening.

I am on the couch with a stupid family football game injury. Grrr, I hate not knowing my body as it ages! I am in the best shape I've been in since college, but I keep getting hurt because I don't stretch and warm up properly. I might try a swim later.

Hope you all have wonderful weekends.

xo
Pav

[little beagle]

We had a great, relaxing, family day yesterday.
One of the best Thanksgivings ever.
Hope your injury heals quickly Pav.
Narilly that wind chill sounds brutal.

[jane27]

Hi gang, hope everyone had a peaceful Thanksgiving. I've been feeling sick for the last few days. I think I burned out after working double time to get all of our home issues resolved. I began to write about the challenge of holding memories of a great love affair along with a skull and bones in one hand. It sure is weird. One doesn't fade the other, and like many of you have said, I don't want to forget all the times that drinking made life feel bigger and brighter whether it was real or not. That being said, I think the only way to safely hang on to those memories is to do exactly what we do here- keep our sober muscles fit with regular exercise. I wonder if I'll ever stop being surprised by how addictive and powerful AL turned out to be. I still shake my head over the whole thing. I do walk around fearing anything that could compromise what I've achieved, and it's stressful, but I know me better than anyone else, and it's a much safer bet than taking anything for granted. That might not make sense. I've held off posting because I feel like I keep tripping over my own thoughts and that feels like doing double Dutch jump rope on one foot.

In other news hubs is totally caught up in Black Friday shopping and it's upsetting. Nothing bank breaking, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable and bad (as if I'm perfect- NOT). The kids come back today and the house looks like Animal House. I'd love a couple of days to not have to show up for anyone. Not going to happen.

Thinking of you all with love.

Ps I'm becoming sugars biatch again. Got to real that shit in.

[jane27]

[QUOTE=Pavati;1579699]Hi,

Today I am worried about my kid.

My younger son has impulse control issues, as well as a lower self-esteem, and a false bravado that barely hides a very sensitive core. I know that when he first tastes alcohol, he is going to love it. He will love the release and escape it gives him, as well as the confidence. He already shows a keen interest in alcohol. He is 12, so there is time yet -


Pav, this is so beautifully written.

[NoSugar]

How nice to see that people had a good, AF holiday :smile:.

I just wrote in the Nest how I was feeling like it would be "interesting" to have a glass of wine. I think my limbic brain is trying to use the phrasing of my rational brain to fool me as to whose doing the talking!! So, the rest of that bottle got dumped and I chugged a S. Pelligrino. I'm really aware that that part of my brain is AWAKE, though, so I'm going to be hyper-alert for awhile...

Good to see you back, Jane. I'm not into Black Friday (or Gray Thursday or Cyber Monday or...) shopping, either. Mostly, I like making things but when that won't work, I'd rather go out when things are a little calmer. Some people are really energized by all of it, though, so maybe it is as good for them as it is bad for us (kind of an extrovert vs introvert kind of thing).

Pav, how great that you're recognizing potential problems before they're realized - hopefully enabling you to help your boy through some rough stuff. It is pretty common for people who get the "hit" from sugar/sugar-producing carbs to get an even better one from alcohol, myself included. There are all sorts of theories about why that is, some of which seem to fit what I've experienced but who knows what the mechanism is. Is that the kind of food your son is drawn to? My situation right now of having thoughts of drinking may stem from the fact that I've consumed more sweet foods yesterday and today than I've had in ages -- and compared to "normal" eating, I really haven't had all that much. But for me, alcohol and sweets each can trigger the other so as of this minute, I'm back to NoSugar mode :wink:.

[available]

Hi loamers (g)

Pav, my Tye has those issues as well and thought drinking made him more sociable and a people person and "in". Well he had a real drinking problem that i could see, well actually i couldnt for years as i had the real drinking problem but since i have been sober we have talked a lot and "he is what he is, beautiful inside and out". i wish i had been sober years ago to help him find his way. You on the other hand are and thats totally admirable dear Pav. He will get there with a mum like you by his side. He is lucky.

I posted in the nn so wont rehash, just looking forward to getting over the stupid season. mum is threatening to come down before xmas. Really! i love her to death but at the moment i dont think i have much more of myself to share around. It is one month till i go to hers but i know i cant stop her once she decides. oh well whats one more person to share the love with! I always think of the song from Life of Brian (not avicci!), "Always look on the bright side of life". Yep thats what i have to do!

Housework day today and the boys are both as excited and happy for me about my year anniversary as i am. Xmas will be coming early in this house.

Glad everyone is going well. If i dont get my arse into gear it will seize up. Off for a walk soon and sit in the sun and have a coffee and watch the world go by.

Take care lovelies
xx

[jane27]

Grateful for each of you. You guys give me so much it's hard to imagine what life looked like from the outside before I met all of you. Arid as the desert I think.

[scottish lass]

Dear Pav - funny you are having these thoughts - well not funny at all, but it is weird that we are thinking some similar things. I was driving today with a huge smile on my face and thinking how good I felt - that git me to thinking why and of course it came back to drinking...we spent the day at a Christmas Fair and alcohol was everywhere - not alcohol all the time, though there were drinks, but the jewelry had wine glasses, the wall hangings with clever sayings had wine or drinking, the ornaments had wine purposes, the seasoning places had mulled wine spices, the clothing had wine sayings/glasses on it - it was everywhere!!! The entertainers were speaking of drinking, the fudge had alcohol flavoring...well you get the picture - and both girls were interested. They are both intrigued by alcohol, talking about being exposed to it at school, wondering what it will be like - they used to focus on the negatives, but the allure seems to be calling to them just now - and it is worrying...
We used to talk about a reformed smoker, I am not sure if reformed drinkers are the same - I do not want to give then and over the top reaction, but i am also worried - there is a lot of drinking in my family, and I would so love the girls to learn from my lessons - but I am not sure that that will work - I think I will need to be the voice of reason, and support - gentle guidance and help, and then hope, hope, hope that they will not fall the way that I did....
My youngest has a very sweet tooth and hides her habit from me too - I worry the most about her as well.
It does scare and worry me.....but I do believe that they will drink, and I will let them with my blessing so hopefully they can talk to me about it and get some direction....

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Just had to report in on the fateful happening today...

My aforementioned son and I got into the car to come home from a game and out of the BLUE as we're driving he asks, "mom, how long have you been not drinking?" He's never asked me about it before. I said, "almost a year." Then it was silent for a while and I said, "why do you ask." He said, "I want to use you as a role model." What?! I have no idea where that came from, but it was as if he had read what I wrote earlier. What a perfect coincidence to happen to me today.

Ava - I love that movie and that song. Tye has a great mom, too. So glad you could be there for him, too. I am SO with you - waiting for "the season" to be over. I am not a fan of this time of the year. Well, let me try to be less Scrooge-like. I love the winter, the lights, and skiiing. I hate that at a time of year when I want to be hibernating, I am forced into millions of events with millions of people. Let's have a big dinner in February. April. Not pack them all into one month.

Jane - I love your double dutch posts. I miss them when you're away. That'll help keep those sober muscles fit...

NS - Remarkable to me that you had a thought like that. I'm glad you posted about it in the nest. I guess it gave me comfort in my early days to hear that the nest mums were real alkies, too, not just rah rah supporters.

LB - Wonderful that you had such a great Thanksgiving. You deserve it.

R4L - I saw your post in the nest - are you still checking in here? Post away, lady, we miss you.

J-Vo - I hope you are ok and that you come report that you are ok. We miss you, too. There are a lot of gloamers who we miss. I hope you all come back. This sober life is not always easy, but it IS pretty damn great.

My DH asked me how I wanted to celebrate my year sober. I really don't know! I want to be with my family, but I still haven't been really real with my kids, so I don't want to make a big public deal about it. I wish I could meet up with you all for a walk on the beach (you could watch from the deck, Ava), a lot of laughs, and some delicious food. We could even stay savory for you, NS.

Thanks to you all.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

I really want to walk on the beach with you Pav. You have done so well and I am proud of you.
That is so cool that your son wants to use you as a role model. Yes!

SL, it's tough when our kids start growing up and get interested in drinking booze. My daughter seems to be fine with it and drinks responsibly as far as I know. My son worries me though. It's hard to watch sometimes and we can only say so much before they tune us out.
The Christmas fair sounded like fun. It's funny, all that AL oriented stuff used to be neat to look at or buy. Now I feel a little judgemental about it and am glad I don't drink.

Goodnight Gloamers!

[Pavati]

Night, Gloamers.

Hope you're all enjoying a great weekend.

I hear you about "it's EVERYWHERE," SL. Everywhere.

Happy Sober Saturday!
Pav

[NoSugar]

Wow, Pav, talk about a peak parenting moment. That must have made you feel good! It is also a great point of reference for future conversations on the subject.

My curiosity or whatever in the heck it was about having one drink (I even toyed with the idea with just touching it to my tongue -- now how rewarding would that have been??) has passed. Maybe I wanted to prove to myself that I don't like it anymore? Who knows... I will say the smell when I poured it out was awful - hard to imagine that I used to be so desperate to drink it.

Well, I got the balloon for the upcoming 36 hour GLoamer party :smile::

[narilly]

NS, I will make a cake to match the balloon. We are going to have a blast!

Ava, Congratulations!!! One year!!!
You are so strong in your sobriety and have helped me SO much and I totally admire you my Aussie friend.
Xxxx
Mariane

[available]

NS love the badge, im wearing it with pride. Liquorice Nar, liquorice!