Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[abcowboy]

Well today I accomplished my mission! I had to go out to the new church/hall/school that I'm working on and one of the painting ladies had her car stuck in the snow, a bit of shovelling, a bit of pushing, and she was out. She asked how much, I said it's on the house! She was so thankful and grateful, and so was I, it made my day!

[available]

Well i bought a magazine of a vendor off the street which helps him as he is homeless or pretty much so and gave him a $4 tip. An italian woman wanted to buy two smokes off me and i gave her two smokes and wished her a happy xmas. She gave me a cuddle back. Small things but its a good feeling to make others happy.

[scottish lass]

Saw that Rooni signed into roll call on day 4 - hopefully she will feel like joining back here too - this is a great support for like minded folk.
Well done for accomplishing ABC's mission - I am enjoying teaching the girls how a smile and a kind gesture brightens up the day, but most especially the day of who gives....they have been practicing it recently and becoming more unconscious about it, but to see their faces when it works is wonderful.

[little beagle]

Congratulations Pav. You are a wonderful support here. One year is AWESOME!!
Here's to NO MORE day 1's for any of us.
Ginger it's called Anxiety Relief: Learn in sleep Program. Amazon digital music for $.99. There's one for depression too.

[Pavati]

Hi, Lovely Gloamers!

I don't have a lot left in me - a HARD day and I felt like a bitch here at the end. Too much going on in my family, and not enough of it about ME! Hee. It was just another Tuesday as it turns out, and as I am so zip lipped about everything, I can't stand up on my desk at work and yell ONE YEAR SOBER! Ah, well, I've yelled it here enough.

This thread saved me in the early days, and continues to save me now. We are on a mission to make our lives better, and to make every win a group win. I can't wait to celebrate milestones with you all, and I hope others join us as they can.

THANKS THANKS THANKS--

xo
Pav

PS - No cinnamon roll and no ice cream. Too much of all that crap last week. I DID get some delicious fresh crab and made a great Caesar salad.

[available]

Hi loamers

Quick check in to see if Pav enjoyed her day. It feels like a sense of relief for me now that i can just keep going with this af life. Boy i am grateful that i am now at a year.

Robert messaged me to ask if i could drop in before work yesterday and of course i could. It appears that they did a liver biopsy when they did his op and they told him he has cancer in his liver. How the fark can a day start so good and in an hour feel as the world as dropped out of your life. What can i do but be there for him. At lunch time i told him we cant focus on that aspect we have to just focus on him getting over his op and deal with the other later. The good news is he had his first real shower and is up and walking. We will take this day by day and we will keep positive. I have to, but its so damn sad and heartbreaking.

I had to vent as nearly time to put on that happy face and visit before work. He told me yesterday he would not be where he is without my help and support, that keeps me going each day. He is a dear friend.

have a great one
xxx

[jane27]

Ava, what bummer news The time you guys are spending together these days is precious. I'm glad that the situation has allowed for it, and I imagine that somehow you guys have had some good, long, dark laughs. Inappropriate humor can be a great ally when reality is shit. Love to you. Xxxx

[narilly]

Pav, I love Caesar Salad too. We WILL continue saving each other my friend.

Ava, Sorry about Robert. Enjoy your time together. You never know. My husband was told he had cancer in his liver and then the spots got smaller and smaller. They are not sure what happened but for now he is clear and has been for 3 years. Life can be crazy.
I'm not saying Robert is the same but it might not be as bad as you think. Crossing my fingers.

xo

[Eloise]

Very sorry Ava about Robert. Life isnt fair ��

[little beagle]

Ava I'm sorry about Robert. I'm glad he has you.
Pav I think that crab ceasar salad sounds wonderful.

[jane27]

Nar, holy guacamole. That must have been such an upsetting time. I'm glad that today is a different story. Xo

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Ava - Being there for a friend who is so sick is the greatest gift you can give. I can't imagine how much relief Robert must feel when you arrive, and how grateful he is to have you there. That doesn't make it any easier for you necessarily.

Some friends (!) gave me a book for my sober anniversary - Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace by Anne Lamott. I just read a bit last night, but I was struck by this passage about the grief she felt when her very good friend died of cancer:

"Don't get me wrong: grief sucks, it really does. Unfortunately, through, avoiding it robs us of life, of the now, of a sense of living spirit. Mostly I have tried to avoid it by staying very busy, working too hard, achieving as much as possible. You can often avoid the pain by trying to fix other people; shopping helps in a pinch, as does romantic obsession. Martyrdom can't be beat. While too much exercise works for many people, it doesn't for me, although I have found that a stack of magazines can be numbing and mood altering. The bad news is that whatever you use to keep the pain at bay robs you of the flecks and nuggets of gold that feeling grief will give you. A fixation can keep you nicely defined and give you the illusion that your life has not fallen apart. But since your life may indeed have fallen apart, the illusion won't hold up forever, and if you are lucky and brave, you will want to bear disillusion. You begin to cry and writhe and yell and then to keep on crying; and finally, grief ends up giving you the two best gifts: softness and illumination."

I know you are not grieving for Robert yet, but I know that all of us (gloamers and humans) deal with grief in our lives. We may have to face it in new ways now without our crutch of alcohol.

OK. Stay strong, friends. The only way out is through.

xo
Pav

[available]

Thanks Pav that is so true and thanks for sharing it. I just sobbed last night and i never sob, i needed to get the pain out to keep on going another day. I know he will die, i just dont know when. I need to be strong as he does but i also know i need to look after me. Today i had lunch with another patient who lives in another State but visits every three months so that was lovely and i popped in to see Robert to make sure he was fine and took him some cake that was for my 1 year anniversary and he loved it. Today we are positive, tomorrow who knows but i feel better for letting my emotions out. I spent too long surpressing them and looking like i was coping, not now, it is about me also.

Thanks El and Nar for your thoughts. Roberts cancer is terminal we just hope he has years left and can have quality of life.

Jane we are always laughing. He has things at the end of his legs. I said to him "would they happen to be called feet". Its the silly things that we laugh at. mind you it hurts for him to laugh.

love you all, you keep me going!

[NoSugar]

A good cry works wonders, Ava. When you really sob (not just tear up at a movie or something), you actually get rid of some toxic stuff - so don't hold back! You are being such a wonderful friend to Robert. All of us should hope to have a friend like you in our lives (hopefully on the same side of the world !).

I love Anne LaMott, Pav. I sometimes feel like she is me on steroids - all my anxieties and insecurities exaggerated! (Maybe she actually isn't quite as over the top as she seems and presents the extreme to make her points, which she does so effectively). This part of her quote has been on my mind one way or the other ever since I heard Brene Brown's talk in which she said we can't selectively numb our emotions:

The bad news is that whatever you use to keep the pain at bay robs you of the flecks and nuggets of gold that feeling grief will give you.

I thought it was pretty great not to feel anxiety, dread, fear, and lonliness but the cost was too high - no excitement, anticipation, passion, or joy.

Thanks for the group wins, Ava and Pav. I'm so happy and proud for both of you. xx, NS

[scottish lass]

Just a quick check in - woke up on wrong side of the bed today and I don't like me today. Have laid into both girls - probably not a bad thing, they need a wake up, but hate how it makes me feel.
Need to have a toxic cry NS and get rid of the yucky stuff - there was a article the other day with the microscopic view of different tears and the make up of happy vs sad vs angry have some significant differences.
Hope I can shake this off soon - blah!