Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Hope you feel better as the day goes on, SL :hug:. Maybe you're so used to having sun you're having acute SAD with the rain you're finally having! I bet everyone is relieved to have at least a little break in the drought.

As I look back at it now, it seems so crazy -- drinking wine on a day like you're describing probably made me feel relatively better (for a little while) but I did it even on generally "good" days, ultimately making me feel worse. It was just lose-lose all around.

[little beagle]

Sorry I haven't had a lot to say lately. This is my busy time with work. And I AM TIRED.
Grieving is tough. It's like the pain comes in waves. You're fine, working along and then it hits you. But I think it's one of the times we know we're alive. When we rea
ly FEEL instead of just going through the motions day to day.
Ava I'm glad you can laugh and cry. That the horrible numbness of alcohol is gone from your life.

[Pavati]

Good night, all.

Ava - glad you got in a good cry. I am so sorry for Robert, and for you, but I am honestly so happy for him that you can be there for him.

SL - Sorry your day sucked. One point when I actually disagree with Byrdie is that I HAVE had two bad days in a row. But not a lot more. Keep posting here and TAKE CARE. We're here for you.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

And I didn't mean to ignore everyone else.

I said it in the nest, but CONGRATULATIONS ELOISE on 200 days. Whoot!

LB - I love your description of grief and how glad you are to not be numb. NS, you, too.

Nar - You sound good these days. How is your son doing?

Hope everyone is great.

Pav

[DreamThinkDo]

Late to the party - but El, I'm doing my happy inkele: dance for on your 200 days!

[jane27]

Pav, That is so beautiful, and so true. In the same vein is this quote which I found today on Good Reads.

“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human- in not having to be just happy or just sad- in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time.”
― C. JoyBell C.

SL- I attribute those days to a handful of things happening at one- hormonal haywire, shitty weather, a handful of negative situation pin pricks. Its so uncomfortable. I hope it passes for you soon. I agree with Pav, in that I have had more than one bad day in a row. In the old days that would be a launching pad for heavy drinking, over eating, under sleeping, over spending and other quick fix highs which never failed to stretch what could have been a handful of bad days into 2-3 weeks of rotten. Hang in there. Exercise, sleep, and posting will all help you move through it.

Ava, Sounds to me like your are handling the painfulness of your situation thoughtfully. Spending time with a loved one in the weeks/months before they die is profound and surreal. I think its extremely organic & healthy that you are feeling it in bits at a time and sharing the experience with him. I hope that the memories of your teamwork together in these tough times will serve in the future to warm your heart and comfort you- that it wasn't an abrupt goodbye. You are evolving through it together and is beautiful that you have that closeness. When I think about dieing over a period of time, I think the most important thing is to feel loved and connected. For the dieing person not to have to feel so alone in facing whatever the next phase after life is. To share the experience with a loved one so as to feel safe and connected to the life that was while feeling loved and supported on the unknown path that lies ahead.

Lil, Grieving is a doozy. In the past year I lost 2 of the dogs, the woman who took care of me until I was 9, and my friends Mom who I was very close to. Sobriety being a brand new thing during all of this- I was amazed at the way the emotions welled up, lingered, vanished, crept back in, covered me like a gray gauze cape. It felt totally out of control and there wasn't a pattern that could be expected. What I learned about it is that its a roller coaster ride, and the way the emotions rise up, or bury and hide- it has a really ghostly quality. I found it helpful to give it a nod like to say, I know your there (the grief). I know I didnt do anything wrong and that this is natural and that everything will be OK as long as I'm honest and open to what is going on. You just have to have faith. Its scary having this thing (grief) that seems to operate as a totally separate being with its own invisible ink agenda. If only we knew that we'd feel sad on Tuesday, angry on Wednesday, lonely on Thursday, OK on Friday- but it couldn't be father than that. (for me anyway)


Eloise, Tradition around here dictates a special acknowledgment at the 200 days milestone. For your remarkable achievement, you have earned a diamond necklace and a pool boy. First things first:



and ofcourse the bling


So happy to be on this journey with you. Your huge achievement is empowering to all of your fellow Gloamers. xoxo

[jane27]

[scottish lass]

Hi all - agreed too Pav and Jane, there can be a few cruddy days in a row - and yep Jane, likely a whole pile of things just feeling overwhelming. Little self centered on here - so sorry.
Ava - hang in and look after you too - not easy, but it is a must!
El - very well done!! 200 was a nice milestone...

[narilly]

The only way out is through

Another one for my Pavarati quotes. I love that one!
My son is Great! He has a job at a burger joint and makes great tips, he isn't smoking dope, has been going to martial arts classes and will be going to Uni in the Fall. So basically, he is just fine. thanks for asking

Nice colourful post Jane. Great quote you posted by Howard Zinn.

SL, some days are like that. Hang in there, we gotta have some crap days to enjoy the good ones. We can go out for ice cream and hot fudge later and that will make you feel better.

Eloise, Congratulations!!! 200 Days is amazingly awesome! Enjoy your day Girl.
I am glad you are here. Maybe rub a daschund's belly, that's a good way to celebrate! I have the beautiful picture you made by my fireplace and I LOVE it!

Talk to you beautiful Gloamers later.
btw I am having some drinking thoughts so I may be posting more than usual, sometimes they are so strong wtf!! Gotta get rid of them.

[jane27]

Nar, Me too. I'm not tempted or in a frenzy but it feels like pure seduction.

[NoSugar]

This is a pretty dry (pun intended :wink presentation of why no one should consume alcohol. Maybe it will kill the romance:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uyHb4XsqABQ

[scottish lass]

Just read a really sad news report of a teacher driving to school and hit two houses, three times over the limit - she had problems for a while and did not seem to be getting any help - there for the grace of God....
NS - good viewing...

[scottish lass]

kept watching and this one got to me...you probably have seen it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqtZjpI1oVQ

[NoSugar]

I haven't seen that one - thanks! I will watch it. I heard her interviewed on the Diane Rehme show about a year ago and thought her story and ideas were very interesting.

That is so sad about the teacher. Alcohol causes so dang many problems - even for people who may not be addicted.

[scottish lass]

Hi all - going to have a good weekend here - by hook or by crook!
It was suggested my mood swing maybe in response to the moon cycle - I did a little search back and found out my last teary, sad, grumpy spell was a few days before the full moon too - this makes sense to me, and I am going to pay attention to this. I was happy to feel this could be the case - I can prepare and be ready, and that will work. It was the waking up and completely unexpected and without reason that made me feel so unsettled. If this is whats happening, I feel that I can handle it - so have a sense of settledness with my mood today and able to make the most of the day..
One girl at a sleep over tonight, so able to have a 1:1 night tonight, and that is a big treat for me! Hope everyone else is having a good weekend...