Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[roxane]

welcome back j-vo.

[abcowboy]

j-vo

[narilly]

J-Vo, in my mind you were always here:heartbeat:

So glad you are back.

Best shows very good ones anyway)- besides breaking bad, house of cards, game of thrones:
1. The Bridge
2. The Fall
3. The Killing
4. Luther

Yay!! So glad you are back J-Vo!

[j-vo]

House of Cards is next for me.

[narilly]

House of Cards is awesome.

It's interesting, in so many of these shows there is someone with an addiction. People who are alcoholics, drug addicts, sex addicts. House of cards has some AL themes,breaking Bad, Orange is the New Black, there are so many people in this world with an AL problems. It's so ridiculous that this drug is so readily available in our society. It's all about the money.

How sad is that?

[scottish lass]

J-vo :yay::hug::yay::sohappy:

Really glad to see you back here, and very well done on a week - great start to a new beginning!

[little beagle]

Hi J-vo. You have been constantly in my thoughts. I have really missed you. I have been trying to rest a bit after the holidays. It's a really exhausting time for me.
I'm ready to get back into it though.

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone!

J-Vo - I am so happy to see you back. I just read your thread. Sounds awful, but we're here for you as always.

We got back and are still groggy and jet lagged - nevertheless it is back to work for me tomorrow. Maybe I should hold of on any big meetings or projects for a day or two...

I am happy to get back to "normal," as well. I will write more when I am not so out of it. I really missed you all. A couple of tugs from AL on vacation - especially the pre-airplane shot, the post swim in the ocean beer and the post hot/humid trek through the city beer. I thought of those briefly, but never really entertained drinking at all. On my last night I went to sleep thinking of getting back in regular contact here, and dang if I didn't have a drinking dream! I just "decided" to drink one night - someone handed me a glass and instead of handing it back, I accepted it. I just casually kept drinking. Then it was the next morning, and while I hadn't done anything totally stupid, I couldn't remember the end of the evening, and I had a TERRIBLE hangover. I also had to contemplate that I had to start at day 1 again, and I had to admit what happened here. I was SO HAPPY when I woke up and realized it was a dream.

Happy New Year, Gloamers. Let's make this a great one.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Pav, so nice to see you back. Your trip sounded awesome. I really want to travel there sometime. Your dream sounded terrible, thank goodness it was only a dream.
I'm back at work tomorrow too. Happy to be working. Oil prices are going down and lots of people are losing their jobs here. It's a bit scary. Hopefully we see a rebound soon.

Lil B, I bet you are ready to get back at it. You work so hard.

Goodnight sweet Gloamers.

[NoSugar]

Nar, I hadn't thought about how the plummeting oil prices actually are bad for some people - it just seems like such a relief not to pay so much at the pump! Thanks for giving us your perspective.

Welcome back, Pav! You definitely were missed :hug:. Sorry if remembering us gave you a drinking dream but I guess that's part of how we keep one another accountable. I can't imagine giving up the friendships I've made here but I also can't imagine telling you I drank. So the only possible course of action is not to drink :smile:.

Well, a ton of work awaits so I'd better get busy. xx, NS

[narilly]

NS, that's the beauty of this group. It keeps us accountable. I have said this before but there have been a few times where I wished I didn't know you guys because I wanted to drink and couldn't. The thought of coming here and fessing up got in the way of my drinking. I remember thinking "frick, I shouldn't have started talking to these people, if I want to have a drink its not their business"
Like you said, the only possible course of action was not to drink.

talk soon,

[little beagle]

Pav good to see you back.

[scottish lass]

Welcome back Pav - hope today is not too hectic for you??? Be good to ease in, but as first day back after a break that is probably not likely!

[j-vo]

Thank you, Ladies, for the warm welcome back. It does feel good to be back, but my circumstances feel less than good. The pain I've caused my family, especially my son, are really waying me down. I feel angry right now, filled with remorse and guilt and I hope it gets better. Went back to work today after xmas break and that normalcy felt a bit good, although it was tiring. 14 year olds never get tired and hormones just get crazier. I got a few laughs out of them which made me feel a bit better. Sorry to be a downer, but I must leave with telling you that I'm grateful for all of you here. I'm so glad that I have support of people that know me and that helps so much.

[little beagle]

Glad you are back into your routine J-vo. I always take comfort in my routine.

I have been struggling lately. Hubby has had a serious relapse and I feel terrible. It hurts so much watching someone hurt themselves like this.
I have struggled with him. Day to day it just feels as though he is giving up. Now some may think I should just leave him. Let him really face this alone. And I too have thought this, fought with my daughter over it, berated myself for being a fool thinking there is any hope. BUT I know how scared and alone he feels. How truly difficult this is. I just cannot bring myself to do it. I guess when I've had enough it will finally be enough. Wayching someone's true self lothing and pain is tearing me up.
I am trying to separate out self pity from fear of the situation. Yes being in this situation can bring on some real poor me's. I want to go on vacation. To own my own home, to have my daughter stop looking at my in that judgemental, pitying way she does. To have FRIENDS. REAL FRIENDS come over to our house. But mostly, more then anything else in this whole, entire universe I want him to stop hurting. To heal. To not worry about getting a phone call or knock on the door telling me he's badly hurt or dead.
I am not sure anymore if what I have to say is even relevant. If it's helping anyone in any way. All I can say is that. I. Don't. Drink. I don't want to. The thought makes me sick to my stomache. It makes me cringe in helpless embarrassment.
If I can help someone, please let me. I am here. And I am so TIRED of feeling ineffective.