Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Jane, what a great post. Yes, I agree. I need to do less. Great quote and I will take that advice as I know deep down that I need to do exactly that. Less. And take care of me first.

LC, so glad to see you back. I just came back as well, and I don't ever want to have to go through what I did not long ago. I still am feeling the effects of a fall (literally) and it doesn't feel good. But it's a reminder of where I don't want to be ever again. Like you, my early days are easier to get through, as the desire is strong to be AF and the horrors of what al does to me and to those I love is so fresh. I need to carry those memories with me as I get further along, and remind myself that the reason I drink is that I'm an alcoholic and nothing more. Whatever the reasons for drinking don't seem to matter right now. Those reasons will need to be dealt with when I'm stronger and ready to deal with them. My focus needs to be on not drinking, one day at a time.

[jane27]

Hi Patrice,

My advice would be to post regularly and supplement that with a journal. When you've become accustomed to using alcohol to manage, modify, bury or enhance feelings....going without can range from feeling like you're standing in the middle of a busy highway at rush hour, to feeling sad, mad, raw, numb, thrilled, anxious, elated.It takes some time for it to straighten itself out. Talking is the best thing. It clears out the pipes!

[narilly]

The aesop to this fable (point of this story), is in line with the expression, 'fight fire with fire' . The only thing abrasive enough to clean one of these damn shells was one of the damn shells.

Jane, I guess this means that only Alkies can help Alkies. What a great story!

Patrice, maybe it would help to get a hobby that did not involve drinking? A reading club, knitting club, scrapbooking, swimming, whatever you are interested in. Going to AA once a week might be really helpful too. Keep coming back here!

Life Life Life!!! So glad to see you back here

DTD, you too!

Hey, J-Vo, one day at a time. That's the way to do it. NS had some good words to say (as usual) above your post.

Pav....I think we cross posted last night. It is funny, we both post around the same time at night and are both exhausted from work. Our posts are always similar and end with something like "gotta go to sleep now" or "I am tired so going to sleep".

Anyway, gotta get to work. Busy day ahead.
Thank you for being here and helping me to stay sober. Sober Strong and Free! Oh Yeah!

[lifechange]

I remember feeling weird about how much I was online the first few months -- like that was something else that was "wrong" with me -- that I was developing an alternative addiction, that I was too dependent on people I didn't really even know, etc. etc. That voice was judging and criticizing me even as I attempted to get myself out of the mess I was in. My advice to you is to try not to second-guess yourself.

NS, this is definitely part of my problem after the first couple of weeks. I feel like I should be further along, able to get it on my own--I've constantly critisized myself. I have to remember that nothing is more important than my sobriety--taking the long view is something new for me.

J-vo, I am also trying to keep horrors of drinking fresh in my mind. And like you I'm going to take each day it comes for awhile, just focussing on the positive aspects being sober. I feel very grateful at the moment for all of the little things..my daughter calling after school and being able to talk to me for 15 minutes about whether or not she should change the position of her bed, not being completely annoyed at the cat for meowing incessantly this morning at 7, the fresh, cold air outside.. and for the bigger things like coming back to you all. I'm so grateful for all of you here.

Hi Nar!!:hug:

[scottish lass]

LC - yeah!!

just a quick fly by - read this this morning - i did like the timeline outlined here....

http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/need-stop-bad-habit-need-66-days/784244/?utm_source=huffingtonpost.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook

[lifechange]

Hi SL!:happy2:

I'm signing off for today--going to try and read a BOOK for a bit in bed instead of my usual computer/video time to see if it helps me to wind down.
Wishing you all a good one and so looking forward to being here again tomorrow!

[narilly]

Life, every night I take a bath and then brush my teeth etc. I try and meditate in the tub for a few minutes just to calm my mind down. (Oprah does it!)
Then I go to bed, post on MWO, read and then zzzzz. I sleep really good but I have never had trouble sleeping.

[j-vo]

Great article SL. 66 days for habits. I have lots of bad ones that could be replaced with good ones.

LC, having your daughter talk on the phone to you for 15 minutes is awesome. Treasure each minute. I was happy my son who has been hurt by me badly, allowed me to make him eggs this morning. I love to do that for him, and I'm so glad that he's slowly allowing me back in his life albeit in little ways, but it's big to me.

So a day off for me due to the cold weather. Wasn't bad as it was quiet and I enjoyed the peace. Son had school, so it was a "me" day. I went to the chiropractor and I took a lot of adjustment. Lots. I'm glad I got out of the house to care for myself.

LC and Patrice, we've come back to open arms, and I'm so grateful for that. We can do this. Alcohol does nothing good for us. It never did. It was only an illusion, and then denial. Let's make this our year to heal. :heartbeat:

[abcowboy]

Howdy gloamers! Wow, nice to see all the new faces! It takes a few pages of reading back to get caught up, then by the time I start a post, I can't remember all the names of everyone lol

It must be the start of the new year, the site has usually over 100 users online, and today we set a new record high! Hopefully the "guests" will find enough valuable info and support that they join and start a journey along with all of us!

I remember way back when I first joined, I made up my own signature line and lately I've been thinking about it quite a bit, "remember where you came from, just don't let it get in the way of where you're headed..." So I've been thinking about the progress I've made, not just in sobriety, but in recovery as well! A kinder, gentler, more patient man is emerging and I'm really getting to like him! And I think that is very important for all of us, we need to start liking and loving ourselves first, then the rest will fall into place!

Have a great MAE everyone, and remember...our mission...we DON'T drink, not now, not ever!

[little beagle]

Cowboy I too see a much better person emerging. It's hard work, but so worth it.
Patrice and J-vo this is how I looked at this. I knew that it takes about 2 years to heal from drinking, maybe longer and maybe not completely. So I am patient. I mean, it took me probably 25 years to do this damage, to develope the habits I have/had. 2 years really isn't that long in comparison. And I have really come a long way.

[narilly]

LilB, I am glad you are feeling good. You have been kickin AL's butt for sure.

Cowboy, that is cool that you are seeing yourself becoming a 'better' person. I feel like that too. I am much more present now because I have to Actually Feel my life instead of numb it.

I have tomorrow off so I'm going to the market and taking my mom to buy groceries. When it's this cold she can't go out by herself because it's too icy and kind of dangerous for her to drive. The joys of living in a cold climate I guess.

Well I'm off to bed Gloamers. I will see you in my dreams.
Xo

[Pavati]

Hi Gloamers!

Glad to see Patrice and LC back in the fold. We missed you! I have a lot more to say but this week is kicking my butt - I've been very busy and tired. I concur with the advice you've gotten, and I hope you stick around.

Cowboy - Love your new tagline, too.

Jane! Excellent post - fighting fire with fire. Your shells are beautiful.

Good night (you, too, Nar).

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Goodnight Pav xo

[patrice]

Hi all,
Thanks for all the suggestions.. I know this is a long haul but I'm in for it. I counted up my Af time in 2014 and I had in total about 5 months sober.. Better than the year before but not good enough..
I agree that coming here every day is essential but I do find it sometimes hard becUse you guys are all asleep when I'm awake!.
Narilly- a hobby is a good idea, but please no knitting!! I live in the tropics so wool isnt popular!
I need to find something to do with my hands though, for sure because I'm a pretty prolific smoker too and will be trying to knock that on the head soon..

I'm very grateful to you all for your words of wisdom, encouragement but mostly empathy, it means a lot and I feel less alone despite living in a different continent to all of you here..In Malaysia it's so difficult to find someone to talk to about this, drinking problems are rare here, especially for women. My friend in the UK sent me a phone number of AA here so I rang them a while ago but the one AA group that was here disbanded a year ago because there were only 2 members.. 2 men in their 70's..haha, not for me. I haven't told any of my work colleagues about my problem so basically this group is the only support I have...
Thank you
Xx

[lifechange]

MAE Gloamers,

Hi Patrice! it can be difficult with the time differences, can't it? I agree that it would help a lot to have someone around to call when the going gets rough. I'm in Berlin and we have some good AA meetings in English, but only during the times I have to work-- and though I have some numbers of people to call I don't trust myself to because I'm not doing the AA "work"-- which although it seems the way to succeed at being sober for many, I haven't been able to get into it.
I liked Nar's idea of scrapbooking-- and I'm looking into getting into photography and learning spanish and doing more yoga. When we think about it, usually we can come up with lots of things we love or could learn to love to do-- amazing how easily those things are forgotten in the throes of addiction. Each time I stop drinking I can remember everything I still want to learn, I become excited about life--God, how I want to just get on with life.
I want to give myself the chance to emerge! I love how you said that Cowboy..and you, LB. Your patience inspires me. I would like to learn to be so patient with myself and this process.

off to work...