Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[treetops]

Hi Patrice and other here.
Its Friday evening in NZ - still very light and sunny though. I know what you mean Patrice about AA not being available where you live. Have you thought about enlisting the support of a counsellor (one who specializes in addictions or at least understands them) if the going gets tough? Even just for a few sessions? Sometimes there are expatriates in places like where you are - who offer such services. Of course it will cost. I think just talking stuff out through and presenting and considering options can help - and it gives you a focus to work with. Just an idea and you can tell me to jump in the sea (and its warm enough to do that tonight!).
Anyway I really sympathize with your predicament and understand how hard it can be to come up with hobbies that will be doable for where you live and interesting enough to absorb you. Besides I imagine with work (and your take home work) and the child - you get pretty tired and want to relax.
Any plans for the weekend?

[patrice]

Thanks TT,
I have been to a counsellor before about my alcohol intake and at the time it helped a lot.. I have checked it out here but there are no Expat therapists here.. I'm getting into meditation which will help I think..
Yes hobbies are tricky here because of the incessant humidity is so exhausting but Im going to look into learning something, maybe an online course and take up the guitar again
Thanks so much for your support mate... Btw, those mini meat pies were superb
Xx

[Eloise]

Great post Jane! I am right there with you regarding what you say about fear.
I am definitely scared to even think about drinking again and where it might take me, and if I could ever return again? Not worth the risk, this was waaaayyyy to hard to want to repeat!

[j-vo]

Morning and Brrrrr! We had another two hour delay because of the cold and snow. It's actually quite beautiful looking out my classroom windows as the whole wall is windows. Wow, I just noticed that!

I'm waiting for the kids to come in and they're going to be wound up as they were off yesterday because of the cold, and it's friday and snowing again. It'll be a crazy day for sure, but I'm grateful for it and my job right this minute. No promises for later.

LB, wow, you are inspiring me and you make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you for showing us that patience will pay off. I love you dear lady.

Patrice, I hope that you can find other support. If not, we are here for you. I need this site more than ever now, and I feel the support reaching me in so many good ways.

Will not be online later as we have an away basketball game this evening. Love to you all, and I will not ever drink again.

[narilly]

Morning!! It is -26C here right now so instead of a walk I am going to vacuum. Do I live the life or what?
At least I am not hungover and thank you Gloamers for that.

Let's go for another sober weekend everyone. I think it's a going to be a great weekend. I have today off and am really looking forward to the next few sober days.

Sober and free that is me! Ok, my little rhyme might not match Cowboy's poems but it's all I've got

[jane27]

Morning Gloamers,

It sure is cold over here!

Found a crack in the sewer pipe last night when I went downstairs to the basement to check things out. Plumber is on the way to check it out. Glad I caught it while its still just a drop hanging from a rusty pipe.

Jvo, I'm so glad to hear you talking- that your here. I didn't know what to say when you went away. I knew how I have felt when I was in a similar place and nothing anyone said made me feel better.

Lil, I stumbled upon a place that looks to be within driving distance of you and takes dogs. I know you love the Emerald Coast as much as me so I thought I would pass this along. I loved the article (and the Boston Terrier pics)

http://beachblissliving.com/travel-story-cape-san-blas-florida/

Wishing everyone a bewdie! xoxo

[scottish lass]

Morning all - Patrice, I took a very long, twisting road to where I am today - and my salvation was that I kept getting better. I was able to observe more and more green dots on my calendar and was progressing - it was not always the way others felt was right, but it was the right way for me and it seems to have worked. So yes, look back, see where you have come and promise yourself to keep on moving forward. Until recently I had the previous years af days per month in my signature line and could see that I was getting there. In 2014 I had 6 days where I drank in Jan and 1 in feb and then it stuck! You can do this too....the long road may not be the worst one....

[NoSugar]

Morning all - Patrice, I took a very long, twisting road to where I am today - and my salvation was that I kept getting better. I was able to observe more and more green dots on my calendar and was progressing - it was not always the way others felt was right, but it was the right way for me and it seems to have worked. So yes, look back, see where you have come and promise yourself to keep on moving forward. Until recently I had the previous years af days per month in my signature line and could see that I was getting there. In 2014 I had 6 days where I drank in Jan and 1 in feb and then it stuck! You can do this too....the long road may not be the worst one....

There's probably the rare bird who doesn't go through something like you did, SL. I did, anyway - but it was before I joined MWO. I had little codes I'd put on my Google calendar that marked if/how much I drank. Green dots on a 3D calendar might have gotten my attention better!! I'd have another 6 months behind me if not for some bad days among many good ones (before then, there were a few good days among many bad ones). It was often a frustrating, disappointing time and at the time I joined MWO, I was feeling really desperate, but as I look back at it now, I realize how much I learned that is good to know. Most of my "bad" days during those 6 months were b/c I'd convinced myself I could just drink 1 glass of red wine, or that if I drank white wine it wouldn't be a problem because I don't really like it, that if I bought gross cheap wine, one glass would be all I would want, etc. etc. etc. Most of us probably have to learn those lessons on our own one way or the other.

[Eloise]

Heya folks!! Friday night here... wild times in the Villa!
Posting, working, feeling cold (sorry, I need to shut up on that topic- way colder in the Americas).

How is J-vo doing??? Been thinking about you girl. :llama: (love that Lama!)
I hope you are slowly feeling better, happy to see you posting in the roll call.
Seems all is in order and quiet here... off to bed. Happy week-end folks!

[narilly]

Had a busy day today. I went for lunch with my girlfriend and she asked me if I would ever drink again and if I could just have one glass of wine.
I told her No, I said one glass isn't enough because as soon as I feel the buzz I want more.
She said she drank for the taste and not the buzz. I said 'the taste'? I don't care about that, just the buzz.
She said she could see how that would be a problem. I was surprised that someone would drink for the taste. Lol, that's an alkie for ya.

Goodnight!

[Pavati]

Hi, all

SL and NS and everyone - I had a twisting road, but I can honestly say I never tried to quit before coming to MWO. I SHOULD have tried, but I was in such denial that I thought I could control it. HAH. I thought I would be the one who googled alcoholism and yet could go back to moderating. So thankful that is all over.

I have a bit of anxiety today - not sure where it comes from. Definitely need some exercise and perhaps some more sleep. Off on a long hike tomorrow -that should help. I look at my calendar for the next couple of weeks, though, and it is FULL. I think I should be hibernating, animalistically speaking (that's a word, right?), not doing a million things. On the other hand, I like each of the million things I am doing very much, so I'll turn this rant right around and say I am grateful to have so many friends and interests that my life is FULL. Did I say full? Sorry for the rambling - long week.

My dad gave DH a bottle of bourbon for his birthday. I told dad he appreciated it and my dad looked at me and said, "but you can't have any, can you?" I said, no, its better for everyone if I don't. He made a sad face and said something like "that's too bad." It made me sad that he couldn't just be happy for me to be not drinking, and it also made me sad that I can't have a snort of good bourbon with my dad. I can do other things, though, and I have appreciated the sober time I have had with him this year, even if he can't.

Alrighty - Off to bed. LC and Patrice - how are you doing? I live on the west coast of the US, so I also have a bit of an alone posting problem. Nar and I cross paths because she stays up too late , but other than that I think I am posting alone a lot of the time. Gives me something to look forward to.

Good night, all.

xo
Pav

[available]

I get what you say Pav that others feel we are deprived as we dont drink. I was talking to a guy and he asked why i dont drink and i told him i was a recovering alcoholic and he said oh we have to go for coffee then. I said i can go to a pub, that is fine and since then he has not contacted me. His loss not mine. Maybe he likes his al too much and feels intimidated. I was talking to Robert about this the other day and he said he does not tell people he has HIV as they back away from him and think they will catch it, bit like my alcoholism. I cant get enough cuddles or kisses off Robert, i know enough that i wont "catch" HIV off a gay man by kissing his forehead or cuddling him.

Nar i dont remember drinking for the taste either! I used to get impatient when people i was with sniffed the aroma. I was like "who cares what it smells like" just drink it!

Tye and i are just back from food shopping, we have all decided that we need to change our diet and eat better. Its lovely to spend some time with him and i am just amazed he likes food shopping. At the moment he is making home made pizzas while i get over my first week back at work.

I need to get back into exercise again, soon, soon!

Take care everyone. xx

[treetops]

Evening ladies. Fun conversation here. I get amused when people who dont know my past think I have led a sheltered life and that I don't know what its like to get trashed. I sometimes mention that I have drunk more than enough for more than one person's lifetime. Thats nothing to be proud of but its sad that people equate sobriety with being boring or having led a sheltered life. Holding a glass of wine in one's hand does not make the person fascinating or sexy!

[available]

Its funny isnt it Tree how people assume if you dont drink you are as boring as watching flies walk up walls. To me there is nothing more boring than watching people drink but i would not say that to anyone as it is their choice. Someone said to me today that they found it hard to understand how i became an alcoholic as i seemed such strong a person. Like you I have drunk enough to last me a lifetime and probably 100 other people.

[lifechange]

Hi GLoamers,
Saturday morning and up at 6!! Damn. I really wanted to sleep in but couldn't, so here I am. Managed a whole 10 minutes of yoga before doing anything else. The first habit I want to implement in the next 66 days. (thanks for the link, SL!). Byrdie posted a link in the toolbox regarding loopholes we "fall" into that steer us away from our good habits and living the way we want to live. I do ALL of the 11, but the one I have the most trouble with is, "tomorrow". Anything! I can put off until tomorrow I put off until tomorrow. Doesn't really matter if it's yoga or quitting drinking or going out to dinner with friends, or something I have to do for work.. I love the feeling of living in the moment and accomplishing a goal I've set for myself but FEAR gets in the way. I don't want to be trapped in fear anymore! So I'm going to push through!!
Pav, I read your 1 year post in the Toolbox as well and related to it so much. Thank you for sharing a part of your story. You clearly relate the insanity of addiction and I love your honesty about how you felt when you first came to MWO. I really had to laugh out loud because I was also going to be the ONE who did what everyone else couldn't! This is a huge part of the acceptance, isn't it? I'm sorry to hear about your Dad--I've got the same relationship with mine. One of the biggies we loved to do together was drink wine and brandy--and he still loves it way too much. He doesn't pressure me but he definitely feels sorry for me. In his opinion I'm missing a huge part of life. I'm going to visit in 66 days! and will have to have a plan made of steel for that one. I'm thinking I'll probably own up to the entirety of my reality ahead of time or on the first day I arrive. I think the only way he can accept (and possibly support) my not drinking is if he knows the hell I've put myself through the past few years. I hope you have a really good sleep and wake up feeling refreshed!

Nar, you cracked me up with the vacuum cleaning! I don't think I'd be going out in that cold weather either. Do you at least have snow? Here's it's 12°C, storming, pouring rain and thunderstorms as if we're in September! I have to say I'm quite worried about our Mother Earth. We should have -3° and snow up to our knees at this time of the year.
Great that you can have such open conversations with your girlfriend. I also find it difficult to believe that people drink just for the taste! I have loved the taste of wine and beer but aside from the really good bottle of wine, I'm sure it was mostly because of the association with the buzz! And the ability I had to blank out my life while under it's influence.
NS, I read the article again that you posted in the Toolbox about "giving up" alcohol. I'm going to post in this morning in the Nest because I think it's essential to changing the way we think about recovery. So well written. There were so many good posts to read in the Toolbox! I'd forgotten..
a good day to SL, Eloise, Jvo, Patrice! what are you up to today??, Jane..