Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[lifechange]

Hi Ava and Treetops!
In this moment I also can't think of anything more boring or counter productive to life than drinking. I'm proud to be in your company. If only for 3 days, I've been building up to this for quite some time!!

[patrice]

Hi girls and guys,
I'm not sure how to quote yet, is it that button on the bottom?
Tree and Ava - it's amazing how some people perceive non drinkers.. I was actually one of those people a long time ago when a friend had stopped drinking and I remember saying why? Can't you just have one drink? We were in our early thirties then and I really could not understand it!! Fast forward 20 years and wow now I understand it and realise she was a very clever woman..
Pav - you sound so together!!
Narilly- I had an epiphany last night when I went to a friend's place and she pulled out a huge bottle of Baileys and said ' drink'?..... Grrr , it was only day 2 and I was tempted but I used my new technique of thinking.. She's a moderate drinker, a normal drinker who sips rather than gulps and very slowly. I knew if I had one I would be finished way before her and would have to wait until she finished before the next one, and then after the next one I would want a third and then horror of horror I would have to go home to a booze free house...3 baileys wouldn't have been enough for me and I had visions of myself shamefully asking her for another drink.. So I sipped lavender tea, yay!
SL - yes I remember your posts a couple of years ago when you were struggling and look at you know! I'm following that path
Hope you're all having a great sleep
X
Pat

[patrice]

Hi LC
X

[available]

Great work Pat on not drinking. I remember when i first went out socially and i just kept staring at everyones wine glass. i am sure i was salivating watching people drink. Now its like "yeah whatever".

LC i could never understand why people didnt drink, i thought they were from another planet and yes fast forward all those years and now i get it. Mind you i did not understand why my brother could not give up al until i ended up being an alcoholic myself. Luckily i have stopped but al killed him in the end.

[lifechange]

Pat, SUPER job on thinking it through to the end and then staying true to yourself. I have to say, I am really proud of you because that is exactly what we have to be able to do. To be brutally honest with ourselves, not for one moment thinking, "Oh a Bailey's might be nice". We KNOW full well that we will only be satisfied when we've had the whole bottle or whatever it takes to knock ourselves out. And then we have to deal with all the shit at the end. I'm following your lead, just 7 hours behind!:thumbsup:

Ava, I also couldn't understand my Mom until I realised I'm mostly the same. I'm so sorry for your brother. So many tragedies come of drinking.

[narilly]

Morning. I will come back and post. Wow, there have been some great posts while I was sleeping. Ava, Pat, Life, El, I will come back and do a proper post.

No hangover on a Saturday morning! Can't beat that.

[j-vo]

MAE Gloamers,
I lost a post as I tried to copy and cut too late. Damn.

Pav, it's not only hard with just friends understanding about not drinking, but close family as well. We don't want the pity, but it's a natural response to what everyone deems 'normal.' That word 'normal' is a mystery to me now. Anyhow, my Dad doesn't drink anymore for the same reasons as us. And he had pancreatitus from drinking. No rock bottoms for him either. But he hasn't drunk in a little more than two years. It feels good that he can understand me and my sister, as my sister has the same difficulties as me and dad.

Patrice - great for you to turn say no to AL. It would have set you back as you know you would have gone home and thought about it and craved it. But you didn't. And you can do this again and again.

Before I lost my post, I was saying I'm going to start a list of all of the bad things alcohol has done to me. I'm going to start with the present and work my way back and list as many bad circumstances and feelings as I can in my journal. When my time builds up, I forget how awful things got, how every time I drink it turns out badly. So with this info right at my fingertips, I can refer back to it and face al for what it really is to me. The devil. Anyhow, I wished I hadn't lost my post as i said some other things and now I can't remember it all. Have a great weekend, Gloaomers.

[peppersnow]

Hi folks - I just caught up on your great posts, and the ones about the reactions of others really resonated. It's sad to run into people you care about who almost seem to grieve that we're not drinking anymore, but coming from your father or mother would hurt. I'm sorry you experienced that. I think my mom might have been a bit sad about that over the holiday, but she hid it pretty well if she was. I have a good friend whose husband has been sober for several years, but she likes her wine, and while she hasn't said anything I know she misses hanging out with me over wine. We do other stuff. I get it, I guess...I remember meeting people who don't drink and mentally crossing them off of my "might be fun to hang out with" list.

We came back from our "beach" vacation. It was only about 42 degrees on the last day, and after a long sauna, I braved swimming in the ocean with my girls who'd been swimming every day regardless of temperature. Now that's something I never would have done when I was drinking -- too much work. People in winter coats, hats and gloves were taking pics of us - but being from northern MN, anything above 20 degrees felt balmy. I also zip-lined with my family, which is another thing I NEVER would have done a year ago. First, I was so out-of-shape I don't know if I could have climbed all those stairs, especially after having had a few drinks beforehand, which I know I would have done. Second, well, I just would have preferred to hang out alone and drink rather than not drink. Because when I was sober I hated myself. Ouch. Isn't is amazing how incredibly lonely a person can feel even when they are with the people they love most in the world? That's what having and hiding an addiction does to a person. OMG that sucked...I get this tight feeling in my chest just thinking about it.

Kids were watching home movies last night from a few years ago and I had this anxiety anytime I showed up on screen because I thought I might be slurring or something. I stayed for one of them --- didn't see anything quite that bad. My speech was fine but I could tell by my face and eyes that I was drinking and could see the vodka bottle on the counter. The sad thing is that I bet I had a little bit of alcohol in my system for pretty much every home movie we have from the past 6 years. (just got the shivers)

Ish, ish, ish I'm SOoooooo done with that life.

[narilly]

Way to go Pepper! I am so glad you aren't drinking (we) aren't drinking. I know what your saying about home movies, I look at old pictures of myself and I can see it in my eyes. It makes me cringe.
Pat, it's good you played that to the end. Your friend likes the taste and you LOVE the buzz . I know exactly what you are talking about. We all do. Right Life

J-Vo, it sure is in your family. It's a good thing you are on your way to quit.

Ava, eventually you will find a smart man who likes you for you are and doesn't care about AL. I think anyone that cares about AL that much is good for us to stay away from anyway. I know that before I quit there was no way I could be with someone who didn't drink. My how that has changed.
People who don't drink are Cool! Oh yeah!

Nice to see everyone here.
Xo

[scottish lass]

Busy thread - like the old days!!
I have been busy - got a good walk in while girls were riding this morning - "borrowed" two dogs to make it fun, both girls for their eye check up, and here it is 5pm!!! I am beat!
Will need to read back and catch up....

[little beagle]

Great posts today.

[narilly]

SL, nice you got a walk in today. My podiatrist said I have plantar fasciitis and can't walk to work for the next two weeks. Bummer! I guess I am getting old. Anyway, I will take care of it and then hopefully it will be ok

It's snowing like crazy here and is cold but it's beautiful and I am glad to be sober to enjoy it.

[patrice]

Hi all,
Pepper- wow I'm impressed with your hardiness.. I won't go in the water unless it's at least 25 degrees
Sounds so cold where you all are ( except Ava).. I can't get my head around the temperatures being mentioned, you must all have great central heating right?. I did grow up in the cold but we had no central heating and Mum used to insist on open windows... 'Fresh air' she said.. aneathetised me forever! I'm planning to return to a more seasonal climate, can't wait to wear boots and cool scarves!
I too have to start exercise... Today I'm going to transform what is now my apparatus for hanging bags back to its intended use... A cross trainer machine
Jvo - great idea to write all that stuff down
It's Sunday and feelin' good
Xx
Pat

[lifechange]

Hi Gloamers!!
Pat, very funny about your cross trainer/bag rack! Exercise is essential to my state of mind-- but I'm having a hard time getting back into it after having done nothing the past 2 and a half weeks. I told myself I would get myself into the gym this morning at 9! How'd the roast turn out yesterday?

Nar, I'm jealous of the snow!! We had 2 days of snow 2 weeks ago and thank goodness the girls took advantage of it and went sledding--'cause who knows if we'll have any more this year!

Jvo, it's the same for me--that with time I tend to forget all of the terrible things alcohol has brought to my life. I made a list and was very ashamed to admit to some of the things I'd previously lied about. But I forced myself to live up to everything. I want to hang it on the bathroom mirror so that I don't conveniently forget but I don't want anyone else in my family to know all of the details.

Pepper, sounds like you had a great vacation-- it reminds me of one year when I went with the girls to SoCA in December and they went swimming as everyone else walking along the beach stared as if they were loonies. Great that you dared to go in, too! What is zip lining?Where were you visiting?

Hi to SL, LB, and everyone here today.. I'm fairly sure I'll be here a lot today..

[satz123]

Hi all,
Pepper- wow I'm impressed with your hardiness.. I won't go in the water unless it's at least 25 degrees
Sounds so cold where you all are ( except Ava).. I can't get my head around the temperatures being mentioned, you must all have great central heating right?. I did grow up in the cold but we had no central heating and Mum used to insist on open windows... 'Fresh air' she said.. aneathetised me forever! I'm planning to return to a more seasonal climate, can't wait to wear boots and cool scarves!
I too have to start exercise... Today I'm going to transform what is now my apparatus for hanging bags back to its intended use... A cross trainer machine
Jvo - great idea to write all that stuff down
It's Sunday and feelin' good
Xx
Pat

Hi Pat
That cross trainer is in my spare bedroom-with all the bags hanging from it :haha:

off to read back on this great thread.....