Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Dottie Belle]

NS great post.
I struggle with the NEVER AGAIN aspect. I can never have wine again??? I know logically that this is the course I must take but it so hard to grasp sometimes. That I am not like other folks and cant enjoy it...
Off to the gym....back to read more later.

[peppersnow]

Jvo, Nar, I've now finished the Fall.. I loved it .. Going on to series 2 of The Killing now . I'm enjoying lazing on the sofa watching good stuff .. Mmm in the past I would watch and fall asleep. Yuk
Hope all is well in your worlds'.
Xx
Pat

Pat, not to ruin your sofa time or anything....but I watched all of The Killing until the end of the series, and OMG I never in my life despised a lead female character so much, ever! Toward the end of the series of I was praying for her to be killed off, she drove me that crazy. But the series itself is otherwise good, I think. And I loved the male lead's character (he's a recovering addict, BTW)

Happy viewing!

[NoSugar]

I struggle with the NEVER AGAIN aspect. I can never have wine again??? I know logically that this is the course I must take but it so hard to grasp sometimes. That I am not like other folks and cant enjoy it.

Hey, DB
I think Pav has mentioned this episode of The Bubblehour. It is an interview with one of the original co-hosts and is really interesting. One thing she said struck me in light of this conversation -- she did not accept that she could never drink again until several months after she stopped drinking. Part of that is just giving your brain time to heal so it can look at things rationally but part of it is that feelings can follow actions sometimes. Acting cheerful can sometimes make a person feel a little more upbeat. And like I said before, if you compare your AF life to your drinking life, there's just no question as to what is better.

And aside from all of that, if you look at alcohol for what it truly is - an addictive poison - it becomes easier to imagine not drinking it!

Have a good weekend, NS

Also, J-vo, she credits her therapist with being the key for her :smile:!

[Dottie Belle]

NS all valid points for sure!!

[scottish lass]

Just saying hi - I am reading daily - getting my infusion for sure. I am sorry I am not taking time to post, but life is a bit overwhelming just now - I am here and I appreciate you all, and I will be back with a bit more to say one day (still will not be very prolific) - thank you to those of you who keep the vitamins and minerals in our infusion bag :applouse:
TGIF.....

[peppersnow]

NS great post.
I struggle with the NEVER AGAIN aspect. I can never have wine again??? I know logically that this is the course I must take but it so hard to grasp sometimes. That I am not like other folks and cant enjoy it...
Off to the gym....back to read more later.

Truthfully, the thing I struggle with is "I can never have that awesome buzz I crave again???" Wine, vodka, gin, doesn't matter a hill of beans to me what the vehicle is. That primitive part of my brain, I know, still wants that buzz back. It's hunkered down, hiding out in the bushes....sulking somewhere deep inside of me while the more evolved part of my brain celebrates the freedom of sobriety. And it lays in wait for that moment when I'm weak, hungry, and very highly emotional, and it jumps out of the bushes and starts screaming its demands at me. The last time was a few weeks ago in that airport (Thank you all for supporting me through that!).

I have completely accepted that I can't ever drink again. But if we're doing true confessions (well, I will anyway), there is this thought that pops into my head occasionally about how, if I live to be 80, on that day I will go out to the store, buy a big bottle of vodka and a carton of cigarettes and smoke and drink as much as my primitive brain wants.

Isn't that stupid??! What in the world would I do that for? The answer is the buzz. That's it. I'd be throwing the rest of my life away for a sensation that I'm addicted to. If I'm fortunate enough to live to be 80, I would hope that I have a few reasons to want to remember the rest of my days clearly and still be living sober.

Happy Friday, everyone. I'm alone tonight and kind of excited about it. Making a taco salad for myself, then watching Orange is the new Black until I get the phonecall to pick up my daughter and her friend at the mall. Which a year ago I'd never volunteer to do because I'd be drunk. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

:yay:

[narilly]

Hi Gloamers,
Pepper, I used to have those same thoughts but I don't really anymore. Not very often anyway. I know, it seems so stupid to think that way. Ya, I'm going to get drunk after I turn 80. I can't even imagine what my hangover would be like!
Orange is the New Black was really good. I have to watch the last 2 seasons of the killing still. I am intrigued now from your comment. I know the lead female was a piece of work.

Hi Dottie, SL, NS, J-Vo, Pav, Daisy, Ava, Cowboy, everyone.

Goodnight

[Pavati]

Hi, Gloamers:

Hah. I used to have that - sit on my porch and drink and smoke when I'm 80 dream. I do sometimes crave that first warm buzz, but I REALLY never want to be out of control or drunk ever again, and REALLY never want a hangover again! I used to say that if I could have the hangover first, I wouldn't drink as much because I would never put up with feeling that bad just for a drink. Now I can consider that last doozy of a hangover the pre-hangover. No way on Earth I'd want to g back there.

I was stuck for a long time on the first step of acceptance but once I got that, for me step 2 was relatively easy. There's no way a smart, sensible, mother of two, wife, professional, would ever drink a poison knowing that all of that was at stake. No way. So why would I drink again. No chance it would be just one... Now I'm working on step 3...

Off to bed. Going to visit a friend then to a work meeting for the next few days. I'll be reading but posting less frequently.

Hope y'all have great weekends.

Pav

[j-vo]

Morning Gloamers,
So many good points to consider. That's why I like this thread.

As NS says, constantly noting how life is better not drinking and be grateful for the little things is the way to change our thinking patterns and so important in recovery. I've read a lot about that and have read that it is possible to make new pathways so that they become real...if you do it often and consistently. So, yeah, it'll take time and work to get there, but it's possible. Let's notice everything good. It's funny. I've been working on this being grateful thing, and I notice how many people go through their day being ungrateful. When negative comments come out of their mouths, I think, Jeez! Get a grip and quit moaning about every little thing. So, let's moan about the good things.

Dot and Pepper, I get that, missing the buzz. That's why we make this whole thing difficult for ourselves. We want that buzz that lasts no more than an hour. After that, it's all downhill. If we can accept that it doesn't stop at the good hour stuff, never for us, then maybe we can accept being without it. And the deprivation mode is in full force when we think what we can't have. Shifting from deprivation to gratefulness is tricky, but like NS said, we have to see it for what it is. It's a poison to us. If we take that one hour to have that buzz, we would lose the other 23 hours to hangovers, feelings of remorse, humiliation, not being there for our families, depression, because we know our one hour turns into five hours, and then bad consequences.

Nar, looking back from when I first became active in searching for answers for myself, yes, I have gained a lot of knowledge on myself and my needs. I guess that's why so many people are grateful to be in recovery, because we really work on ourselves. Without this problem, I'm sure people may not try to be grateful for things, make themselves better. You light up this thread.

[narilly]

You are too kind J-Vo. We all help to make each other better , to be the best we can be. I am glad you are here J-Vo..

Well, another UN Hung morning for me. I love waking up with no hangover, this will never get old. Like you said Pav, I NEVER want to wake up with a hangover again.

I am going to make a nice breakfast this morning and take the dog for a walk later. Its getting up to +8C here!! So grateful for that Last year we were in the -30's. Ugh!

Tonight is my ladies party. I thought it was last night and showed up one day early, good thing my friend lives right next door! This ladies get together is fun but there is a lot of wine drinking, tasting etc. I don't have any pull towards it right now so no Problemo. I will just hang out and drink my fizzy whatever drink.
Love you Gloamers, have a great day.

[abcowboy]

Howdy to all the Gloamers, Nar, LB, Dottie, SL, NS, Ginger, J-Vo, Pav, Patrice, Lifechange, Daisy, Ava, BG, and probably a few that I missed! Sorry if I did..it wasn't intentional osteroops:

There are far too many gloamers and individual posts for me to mention everyone, but I do read each and every post....the highlights of how they affected me....

The "buzz" I think I drank way to fast to feel the buzz, the first one or two was for the cool refreshing taste, the last one was the one I dropped, or spilled all over myself or someone else. Then staggered to the door to get in my truck and drive home with one eye closed to make sure I stayed on my side of the highway! Looking back, it amazes me that I didn't get an impaired, didn't hurt myself or anyone else, and didn't wreck my truck! Someone was watching over me for sure...

"gratitude" When I was drinking, the only thing I was grateful for was the next Budweiser, and when and where I could sneak off and drink them. Now, there are so many things to be grateful for, first, still being on the right side of the grass! Then all the rest of the simple, yet important things that I just didn't care about while drinking.

"self-acceptance" It wasn't hard for me to admit who and what I was, Bruce the alcoholic life of the party! The worst part was accepting that I could never have one or two again. I have now accepted that fact, and I'm okay with it. I haven't been bothered too much by my AV teasing me, but I know he's just waiting patiently for all hell to break loose in my life, then he'll think he has me again. But I just keep reminding myself, people who can stop at one or two don't have a voice in their head telling them they can! So now, I accept myself for what I was, and every day I look forward to more improvement, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Will I ever drink again, not on your life or mine, and I plan to live a long time! Giving up AL is just one step in that direction. My dad once told me, the true measure of a man is one who can face death knowing he'll die happy, I couldn't do that if I was drinking.......

Have a great weekend my friends, if you're out to parties - plan ahead, if the mood for a sip bites you, bite back harder, if that doesn't work, take the same door out you walked in and get somewhere safe!

[Dottie Belle]

Hello ladies and cowboy....
The weather was so good here today. Almost 60 and sunshine too. We drove to downtown to check out the location of the hotel where our neighbors daughter is getting married next Sunday. Then we ventured to a local farmers market that is in a part of town that I wouldnt go to except during the day on the weekend when it is crowded with people.
Took Finn to training and he did very well. He had all of our attention so I think he enjoyed that. No pesky siblings to fight for attention with mama and daddy...Leash walking is the task for this week.
Dancing was fun last night and they had wine there too....need to find another place to sit as I wasnt expecting that at all. I will bring my water bottle too. We had a great time and will go back next week. Dh is having the hernia surgery on the 23d so we wont be dancing for a few weeks after that but we will get back into it since we are paying for lessons.
Great weekend so far!!

[j-vo]

Went to my son's baseball fundraiser tonight. I didn't want to go, because it's horseracing and I never cared for that. But I'm actually glad i did go. Lots of booze around. It didn't bother me. I just observed. People eat, then they drink some. That's not how I did it. I wouldn't want to eat as I would spoil the buzz. But I ate and enjoyed good conversation. REally laughed with a few of son's mom's I've known for a long time. Boy did we laugh. So all in all, it was a good night. And I won a basket full of good supplements! 12 bottles of different supps and have to be worth a good bit of money.

Glad you had a good night dancing, Dot. I'd love to learn how to line dance. My sister and I may take a class that's pretty close to where we live, possibly this summer.

You sound great Cowboy. Nar, have a great night with the girls.

Going to binge watch Grey's Anatomy on Netflix.

[scottish lass]

Hi all - went shopping with the girls today (in the rain) - had a successful shop, but as mentioned before really am not a shopper, nor like shopping - all I wanted when I got home was my old unwinder - if I had had wine in it would have been very close. Made a fire, warmed house, made supper, enjoyed the girls purchases and all settled now.....gosh, it could really be so easy to go down the rabbit hole as Bryd says, all too easy
More rain coming tomorrow - it would be good if it just came slow and steady, but this is too much too quickly...

[little beagle]

Doing a quick check in. Doggie parade tomorrow. This is a bit of an anxious time for me. I am glad it's my second Mardi Gras season without drinking.